Overcoming Trauma: Liz Valade's Journey from Soldier to Veteran Advocate -25

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Captain Kim [: 00:00:01

After the shock of 911, Liz Valade answered the call to serve. Trading college life for the army reserves and a relentless determination to protect and defend. Her journey took her to special operations, 13 combat deployments, and a life forever changed by service. But Liz's toughest battles came after leaving the battlefield as she confronted PTS, survivor's guilt, and the challenge of starting over. In this episode, Liz shares her powerful story of resilience, her advice for women in the uniform, and how she's now empowering veterans through baseball and service dog training. Don't miss this inspiring conversation. Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries, where military women share true stories. We are your hosts, captain Kim And captain Dakota.

Captain Dakota [: 00:00:56

The stories you are about to hear are powerful. We appreciate that you have joined us and are eager to learn more about these experiences and connect with the military women

Captain Kim [: 00:01:06

who are willing to share their stories in order to foster community and understanding. Military women are providing valuable insight into their experiences, struggles, and triumphs. By speaking their truth, they contribute to a deeper understanding of the challenges they face and the resilience they demonstrate.

Captain Dakota [: 00:01:26

We appreciate your decision to join us today to gain insights and knowledge from the experiences of these courageous military women. Thank you for being here.

Captain Kim [: 00:01:42

In this episode, we sit down with retired major Liz Valade, a Mustang officer in the United States Army Reserves. Liz shares her journey from upstate New York to serving in special operations with 13 combat deployments. She reflects on how 911 inspired her to enlist, shaping her military path and her life after service. Liz opens up about navigating PTSD, survivor's guilt, and finding resilience through veteran support programs. She offers advice to women in the military on resilience and setting their own limits, and shares her passion for baseball, which led her to start her own agency as a Major League Baseball Player Association certified agent. Liz also volunteers with K9 Calvary, helping veterans with service dogs with service dog training. Her dedication to the veteran community shines through in this inspiring episode. Liz, welcome.

Liz Valade [: 00:02:40

How are you, Kim? It's good to see you again, even though it's tronic. It's good

Captain Kim [: 00:02:45

to see you too. And the last time, in person, was at Save the Brave in Bend, Oregon.

Liz Valade [: 00:02:52

Yes, it was.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:53

That's how we met. And then we just kept in touch via text after that, and then when I found out all about this, we're like, oh my gosh, we have to have you on. So, let's start, like, tell us how Liz was as a kid.

Liz Valade [: 00:03:08

So when I was a kid, it was kinda funny. And this was one of the biggest things that my family now will tell me. My kindergarten report card, the first one I ever got, had a comment. So let me caveat this. My mom, she's retired now, but she was a teacher at the school I went to. I grew up in a small town. I graduated with like I think our class was like a 100 people or less. So it was called In Fonda, New York.

Liz Valade [: 00:03:36

It is the middle of nowhere in upstate New York. And at the time it was a central school, which means kindergarten through 12th grade were all in one building. Now, technically it's not, But the elementary school is literally has a walkway between the two buildings. Like, it's still on the same property. It's not like other places where you go to one school and then you go to a different building. So my kindergarten report card had a comment on there that she does not stop talking just like you did as a child, Martha. And so that was the first thing that I remembered, and that was the big sign that I was struggling with PTSD. Because when I realized I basically became mute for like 5 or 6 years when I was dealing with everything.

Liz Valade [: 00:04:26

But growing up, I was a straight athlete. I played soccer, basketball, and ran track. I did travel teams. I actually played on the boys team for soccer because my brother and I are 18, months apart. So every other year we would be on the same travel team. And my mom was like, I can't drive my daughter 2 hours in one direction and my son 2 hours in a different direction. And I was gonna I kept up with the guy, so it didn't really matter. In fact, I ended up going to college and played soccer in college till I played lacrosse in college.

Liz Valade [: 00:05:01

And then 1 year I ran track in college just because I was like, oh, you'd think I can't do it? Yeah. I can. So I just did it.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:11

Because you just have that natural athletic ability, it sounds like.

Liz Valade [: 00:05:14

Oh, yeah. So my dad was and I didn't even know this until after I had gone to college. My dad was a state champion soccer goalkeeper. I never understood why my dad was harder on me than my brother, but I was the goalkeeper in the family. I don't remember what year of college it was. His high school soccer team happened to be playing one of the teams that we played because he was from a couple of hours away. My dad was from the town that is literally like the border of Canada from upstate New York. And his little school, which you think my school is small, he graduated with like 30 people in his school.

Liz Valade [: 00:05:50

Yeah, I'm like, these are like tiny little schools, but they were competing in the state championship against one of the schools that we played against. And so we were, I happened to be home at the time, I think it was like Columbus Day weekend or something like that. So we went and watched the teams play and he walked me around the school and I was like, dad, your name's like on some plaque or something. And he was like, yeah, I was the goalkeeper. But he was the one who started the soccer program, the youth soccer for like kindergartners all the way up to when you played modified sports, which is like 7th grade in our town. But I had no idea. But he was also like my little league coach when I was 5 and 6 too. Oh, see.

Liz Valade [: 00:06:33

But the town that I'm from is about 45 minutes away from Cooperstown, which is where the baseball hall of fame is, which was my passion for baseball. And so like when I'd get in trouble as a kid, my mom would send me to my room and I sorted baseball cards, so it really wasn't a punishment to me. So baseball has always been that something that I loved. I was the 1st female to make the all star team in the majors, which is the, and that's like the kids that you see on the Little League World Series. It's that age group, like the 12 year old. Back then, females didn't get to play middle school sports with the boys, so and I learned really quickly, I could not hit a soft ball. The underhand delivery was a totally different thing, and a lot of the females from where I grew up ended up going up to d one colleges on softball scholarships and played with like Jenny Finch, the most famous softball player that I know of. And they were like that good.

Liz Valade [: 00:07:34

And I was like, Yeah, I can't compete with this. So I was like, Yeah, no, softball is not for me.

Captain Kim [: 00:07:39

Where did you find your passion for baseball?

Liz Valade [: 00:07:42

I don't know. So my mom's, one of her favorite state parks to go to is called Glimmerglass, and it's in Cooperstown. And so she and my brother used to like to go swimming. I wore glasses as a kid and didn't like swimming because I couldn't see the beach. And I was like, I don't wanna go swimming. So my mom would literally like drop me off at the hall of fame and I would just walk around for hours. And then when her and my brother were done swimming and picnicking, she would drive over and pick me back up. And for some reason, I just loved baseball.

Liz Valade [: 00:08:18

You just knew. I enjoyed playing it. And it just was one of those things that I very much enjoyed. I just don't know. I guess it's just in the water in that area.

Captain Kim [: 00:08:29

Yeah. So you just felt like at home when you would walk into the baseball hall of fame.

Liz Valade [: 00:08:33

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, just baseball in general. Like I was the person where, well, you know, I used to listen I get I got a pink transistor radio when I was like 7 or 8 back in when back when I couldn't even pick up FM stations. And I remember listening to baseball games on the AM radio, like night when I was in my bedroom and just listening to like the old people. Because I mean, back then we still had to I was the remote. We had like a black and white TV that I, you know, I had to fix the bunny ears and put foil in order to pick stuff up. Like, it's not like I had an iPhone and had the Internet, you know, it was a different time then.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:14

Oh, gosh. You're dating yourself.

Liz Valade [: 00:09:16

No. I know. And I I don't mind. I've had to explain it to my friend Ronnie's son. I was like, dude, I'm older than the internet. And he's like, what? I'm like, yeah, you don't get it. But I guess that was just one of the radio stations that I listened to and I very much enjoyed it. I collected bay I still collect baseball cards.

Liz Valade [: 00:09:37

Well, when you see the Yeah. One behind me.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:39

Yeah.

Liz Valade [: 00:09:39

That's me. I played baseball with 4 of the hall of famers 1 year. It's Ozzie Smith, Rock Range, Jeff Bagwell, and Johnny Bench. Like, I've had some really cool experiences. My mom and my dad used to take me to the Albany Colony Yankees, which they would switch between double a and triple a of the Yankees growing up. And that was in, like, the heyday of the Yankees. I remember, well, Deion Sanders never autographed anything for me. I won't lie, Deion, if you happen to hear this, I still hope it will be asked you.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:13

We're gonna send a copy to him somehow. I don't know how, but we will.

Liz Valade [: 00:10:18

But the coolest thing ever, so, Hensley Bam Bam Newlands was my first ever autograph when I was a kid and my business partner and I work with him with his nonprofit now.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:29

What? That's like a dream come true.

Liz Valade [: 00:10:31

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. And I would've never thought that was possible, but I literally remembered. And last year, I was out at spring training and we were having a barbecue at his house and I showed up with his like double a baseball card and I was like, hey, will you sign this? But he's from, Curacao. And he's actually been knighted because Curacao and Aruba and other it's another small country, but they're all part of the kingdom of Netherlands. So he's been knighted in the Netherlands.

Liz Valade [: 00:10:59

So he signed it, sir Hensley Bam Bam Mullens for me. Wow. And I was like, dude, this is so cool. And I literally called my mom and I was like, mom, you'll never guess where I am. And she's like, where? I was like, name and he is literally the only baseball player my mom can name. And I was like, name a baseball player. And he doesn't believe me. He was like, there's no way.

Liz Valade [: 00:11:19

And I'm like, promise you. And she was like, that Hensley Mullins guy. He was like, dude, I cannot believe that.

Captain Kim [: 00:11:27

Liz, you are inspiring me now because my dad made me the boy out of out of the 3 sisters. And so we used to collect baseball cards and watch baseball. And I'm from Pennsylvania, so back in the day, it was like they had the dream team, the Phillies. Larry Boa, Pete Rose, Mike Schmidt, Steve Carlton. Oh, I'm blanking on the pitcher.

Liz Valade [: 00:11:49

Steve Carlton?

Captain Kim [: 00:11:50

Yes. Oh, did I say him? I may have said him. Okay.

Liz Valade [: 00:11:52

I don't know if you said him or not.

Captain Kim [: 00:11:55

Anyway okay. Well, so your love for baseball, but you went into the military went, like, what happened? How did you get there?

Liz Valade [: 00:12:04

Well, so I went to college. I did not even mean to apply to the college I went to. I actually meant to apply to Bridgewater State, which is in Massachusetts, but New York gives you time off to go look at colleges. It was January, upstate New York, I had like 6 feet of snow on the ground. I went to Virginia, looked at the school, it was like 65 degrees out, and I was like, oh my god. They had my major. They were just starting a women's soccer team, so I was gonna start as a freshman. And I was like, and it's warm.

Liz Valade [: 00:12:35

And I was like, you know what? And sometime God works in mysterious ways. So I was like, alright, I'm gonna go to college in Virginia. So I went to college in Virginia. So I went my freshman year was 1999. Like I said, I played my freshman year of soccer. My roommate, my freshman year was a transfer student. She played field hockey and lacrosse. During the interterm, which is the January class, she needed someone to practice lacrosse with.

Liz Valade [: 00:13:03

So she taught me how to play lacrosse. My freshman year, I was an academic all American in lacrosse. I was better at lacrosse than I was soccer, But it was great. So I played that. And then, came back my sophomore year. To be do athletic training and be an a student athlete is a little too hard. Especially when you went through the type of program I went through. You have to add 1,500 contact hours in order to sit for the exam, and it's just not to try and play a sport and actually graduate on time, it's just not feasible.

Liz Valade [: 00:13:39

So I can tell you on 9,112,001, I was sitting in my friend, Whitney and Terrace's room. We saw it happen. My friend Petey came over. His dad worked in the Pentagon. And I remember Petey being worried because he couldn't hear from his dad, and we had no idea if something happened. I remember watching the Twin Towers fall, and I had friends who I had grown up with being from New York that I knew were in New York City, and I had no idea what was going on. And then my our friend Danielle was had just joined the Air Force Reserve, and she was, like, pissed off. And she was worried that she was gonna be going somewhere.

Liz Valade [: 00:14:19

And I literally called the army recruiter in state in Virginia and was like, hey, I think I wanna join the army. Why not? And so he called me back, like, the next day and was like, what do you wanna do? And I'm like, I don't know. So I went the next weekend and so we started talking. Come to find out I had taken the ASVAB my junior year of high school, so it was no longer valid because I guess they're only good for like 2 years or 3 years or something like that. But because I was a student athletic trainer, I had to wait until that year I was working for my college's football team as the student athletic trainer. So we waited till we had a bi week. And then I went and took the ASVAB and it was October 19th. So October 19th, I went recruiter down to Richmond, Virginia, took the ASVAB.

Liz Valade [: 00:15:11

And October 20th, 2001, I was in the army reserve. The only reason I did the reserve is I was literally in college at the time and couldn't drop out because athletic training degrees were undergoing a transition and they were getting rid of it. And it was called the internship style, the program I was under, where you had the 1500 hours, and they were transitioning to a different type of program while Bridgewater is now certified as that program, they were going through the process. So it was one of those things where I didn't wanna hedge my bets. I was less of a risk taker back then, ironically.

Captain Kim [: 00:15:52

So when was your first deployment then? Because you had 13?

Liz Valade [: 00:15:55

So I enlisted. I was sent to a unit in Washington DC at the time was called LEWA, Land Information Warfare Activity. I was a intel analyst, so I built a bunch of analyst notebook charts. But the unit did information operations, which is coordinating non lethal effects to enable lethal operations. There is no enlisted MOS. It is a functional area for officers. So the nice thing is, at the time, all the old graybeards who actually wrote the doctrine when it was FM 100 dash 6 were there. I was also the only private.

Liz Valade [: 00:16:37

So they sat down with me and they literally data dumped everything they thought to me. But they were like, we can't deploy you as a e 3, e 4, even an e 5, because all the other people in those positions were o sixes. At the you couldn't even become a functional area person until you're an o four. So they're like, you can't deploy. Like, you could be the greatest at this job, but your rank isn't gonna be able to handle this. So because master sergeant Jimmy Wade, who is one of my good friends to this day, kept telling me I couldn't deploy. It's part of the reason why when I was approached for a direct commission, I was like, yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it.

Liz Valade [: 00:17:19

So I couldn't deploy when I was enlisted. I got a direct commission, came back as a lieutenant, and he was like, I still can't deploy you. You're even worse off now. And I'm like, I get it. I basically started over at a different rate, but it's, you know, I built up some credibility, but then everybody looks and they're like, ah, you're a baby again.

Captain Kim [: 00:17:42

Yes.

Liz Valade [: 00:17:43

But I had a boss, Colonel Jason Spade, who was there. Well, so when I was away at OCS and all those things, it was when the Bullock program was out. So I went to a bunch of professional development stuff, came back from OCS and we had there was a change of command that had occurred. And I get back and they're like, the new commander calls me in and he's like, oh my god. What did I do? And he's like, I'm just calling you in because the s 3 and the s 2 are fighting over you and no one ever fights to get a second lieutenant. So I'm trying to figure out who you are. And I then I explained to him. I was like, oh, I've been here for 5 years.

Liz Valade [: 00:18:25

You know, when I was enlisting.

Captain Kim [: 00:18:27

And all you have to say is prior enlisted.

Liz Valade [: 00:18:30

So Yeah, I was like, I'm a mustang. And he was like, oh, this makes way more sense. But the prior s 3 who was the one who was fighting me with for me, Lieutenant Colonel Spade then became the first battalion commander. Well, first battalion oh, at that point, Liwa had become first IO command. Well, colonel Spade became the first battalion commander and the deploying part of First IO, his 1st battalion. And Colonel Spade was like, You know what? I am willing to take a chance. They were putting in the Great Wall of Sadr City in 2,008. And Major Baldridge was told, hey, by Colonel Spade, he was told, I'm giving you this lieutenant.

Liz Valade [: 00:19:15

I will tell you Major Baldridge came to me and he was like, I don't want a lieutenant on my team. And I was like, I get it. I was like, I'm a mustang. He was still like, I'm not sold. He's like, you're on probation. I will tell you within the 1st week of us being in Iraq, I remember him grabbing me and being like, You're no longer on probation. He's like, I understand why Colonel Spain was so adamant that I take you.

Captain Kim [: 00:19:39

That says a lot about you and your work ethics.

Liz Valade [: 00:19:43

Well, and a lot of it is just a lot of people don't understand. So the weird thing about First IO command is it's multi component. So there is a no kidding active unit and there's a reserve component attached to it. And Major Balderich had gotten there while I was not on active duty and while I was at all my officer training stuff, so he didn't know who I was. But at the time, one of the previous guys, so it's the only IO unit that exists, so you get a lot of recidivism. So a lot of the leadership started coming back and they were like, oh, we remember her when she was PFC, my lad. But so when we came home from the deployment with 3rd Brigade 4th ID, which was my only deployment with the big army, the people who replaced us in the entire office were killed in a mass cow a few days after we had left the country. So we did not find out until we got back from, like, a couple days of leave from when we got back from our deployment.

Liz Valade [: 00:20:45

So that was in June of 2,008. 10th group had asked for somebody for a surge that was going back to Sadr City. Colonel Spade was deploying with 1 of the numbered task forces and was gonna be in the same area. And he was like, I have a lieutenant. And they're like, we don't want a lieutenant. And colonel Spade was like, trust me. She just left Sodder City. You want this lieutenant? He's like, and I'm gonna be across the diviner because the soft units at the big higher headquarters had a building and there was a dividing wall between the white soft units and the black soft units.

Liz Valade [: 00:21:24

And he was like, and I'll be there. She can literally just come over and I'll hold her hand if I need to. He's like, I'm not gonna need to hold her hand, but trust me, She's got this. So I went on that deployment. They actually fired the o four who was supposed to be in charge, sent him home early, put me in charge as the well, they so they put me in charge of the first IO team. 10th group had an internal non lethal guy who was my boss, who Dave Jenkins was amazing. He taught me the darker ARPS of IO, which I seem to have a very good skill set of. Before we returned from the deployment, they went over to Colonel Spade and said, hey, we're coming back in July.

Liz Valade [: 00:22:06

Can we have Liz again? So I knew I was already coming back. Came home in February, knew I was coming right back out in July, got a new major who was supposed to be in charge of the team. The new major was like, I don't want a lieutenant. Colonel Spade was like, take the lieutenant.

Captain Kim [: 00:22:23

Take the dang butter bar.

Liz Valade [: 00:22:25

Well, no. By then by then I had been promoted.

Captain Kim [: 00:22:26

Your first lieutenant. Okay. Okay.

Liz Valade [: 00:22:31

Yep. Now I'm a first lieutenant. And on top of that, so all the soft units, they have a commander's conference. In fact, the Colonel Spade made, Major Wharton take me out to Colorado to do the commander's conference. And he was like, why am I taking a lieutenant, not the captain or not? And they were like, just watch. So I show up to Fort Carson and everyone's like, stop my gun. And Major Wharton's like, what is going on? And I was like, sir, you know, I tried to tell him my background, but some people just especially when they've never deployed with special operations. It's a whole different beast than big army.

Liz Valade [: 00:23:08

It's more personable. No one cares what your rank is. When you get into soft, if you have the best idea and know what you're doing, you could be a negative e 6 in a negative o 15. If your idea is the best, that's what we're going with. So once he saw that, he came back, he was like, oh my god, they love her. But he was like, why do you think I said he was like, you have instant credibility because you were with Liz. I was like, he in journals. He was like, I know you think, Hey, I'm a major.

Liz Valade [: 00:23:36

I get it. I was like, but Liz is a known persona. So she has more credibility there than you do.

Captain Kim [: 00:23:41

Oh, gosh. So you just they of course. Right? Because that this is how you were as a child, very persistent, very passionate. And so, of course, that's gonna show through.

Liz Valade [: 00:23:52

Oh, yeah. Well, I don't quit. And I have that same type of personality. Well, so after the couple of deployments with 10th group, some of the guy some of my former bosses get promoted and move on to some of the special or special units. And then they asked for me to start going with them there. And so then I started going with those guys. So while the number of deployments are high, those deployments are shorter because of the higher op tempo. Those deployments are a sprint, they are not a marathon.

Liz Valade [: 00:24:27

So you go for 90 to 120 days and you go all out and then you come home, you reset and then you go back and you sprint again.

Captain Kim [: 00:24:37

And you did 13 of those?

Liz Valade [: 00:24:39

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:24:40

And so that even though they're quick sprints, that's like intense work and intense trauma. Did your body start feeling that after a while?

Liz Valade [: 00:24:50

So I don't think I realize it. Well, so the reason I instantly said yes, I was going back after the first deployment was I knew they were going after the guys who planned and killed the friends I had worked with. So it that became like that reward system in my brain of I'm gonna go get the fuckers that killed my friends. Sorry, I didn't mean to drop the f off. I'm like, Whoops. I'm like, Yeah, no, I'm gonna go get these guys. And so that starts to just become this repetitive process. So one of my deployments with the special operations units, my friend and workout buddy, Ashley, was killed.

Liz Valade [: 00:25:29

She's the first female that was killed with special operations units as a CST. And I was like, nope, it's unacceptable to me. So I just kept going. I also not good at setting boundaries, so I said yes to everything. But I realized I wouldn't have been good at doing IO for big army because I was better at the darker side of things, which enabled those guys to do a better targeting job. So I was in the right place at the right time doing the right job, and I enjoyed it. Now I know in 2015, when I was on the phone with my higher headquarters, which was one of my friends, Hassan, who had known me for by then Hassan had known me for about 10 years. And he was like, Liz, your PTSD is showing.

Liz Valade [: 00:26:22

And I was in a deployed place and my PTSD was showing. That's when I knew something was going on.

Captain Kim [: 00:26:30

Thank goodness for him recognizing that personality shift.

Liz Valade [: 00:26:33

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, and by then I wasn't even diagnosed with PTSD then. Well, part of it, a lot of it had to do with stigmas and all that stuff back then where it was a weakness. And I don't agree with that. Being able to say, hey. I need some help is probably the strongest thing you'll ever have to do. A lot of that has changed, especially in softness.

Liz Valade [: 00:26:55

Like, if you need to take a break and you can stand up and say, hey. Look. Give me a little bit where I need to get my shit together so I can perform. They are totally accepting of it. I don't know. I can't speak for big army because I'm just wasn't there. So when I came back from that deployment, I was working as a contractor in DC. 1 of my friends, Josh, who he and I shared an office, he was a marine reserve officer who did IO, but he explained to me that he had been diagnosed with PTSD.

Liz Valade [: 00:27:30

What I was scared of is they were gonna yank my clearance and I was gonna get booted. And I didn't want that. I was like, I'm not done yet. I wanna finish the fight. When he sat down and I should have probably called fraud, waste, and abuse on myself. I'm pretty sure we talked more about than what actual work was done in the office for some of the days. Yeah. But I finally was like, you know what? So in August of 2015, I applied for VA benefits for the first time in January of 2016.

Liz Valade [: 00:28:01

I was first officially diagnosed with PTSD. After that, I did a deployment to Jordan. And I did go to Djibouti once. I did hop in and out of Iraq and Afghanistan for short little stints, but nothing. I wasn't there for long times after that.

Captain Kim [: 00:28:22

Yeah. And how did that feel? Like when you got that when you actually got diagnosed, when you heard it, like, Hey, Liz, you have PTS.

Liz Valade [: 00:28:29

Well, so I knew I did. I also didn't do a good job taking care of myself and I realized that. But I didn't agree with how the VA was treating it. I did. I also wasn't willing to accept that the VA basically wanted to give me uppers and downers. And I know it's not uppers and downers, but they wanted to give me losing my thought, like, anxiety meds and things like that, but then they wanted to give me a sleep med. So it's while it's not uppers and downers in the traditional sense, but it's a function normal, go to sleep, function norm and I'm like, that is not how I wanna live my life, which is when I went through the mute phase of everything. And I was like, this is not the type of life I wanna live.

Liz Valade [: 00:29:14

My friends would, who sacrificed themselves would be pissed if I'm just unhappy. Like, this is not what people serve their country for.

Captain Kim [: 00:29:25

I love that you drew off that experience.

Liz Valade [: 00:29:28

That's not like, if I'm not outliving my life for the people, my friends and their families even more than their sacrifices in vain. And they would be pissed at me. And if they could come back, they'd come down here and kick my ass and be like, what are you doing, bro? So I got really frustrated with the VA and like every other month I felt like they were changing my psychologist. Sorry, I messed those 2. My psychiatrist is the only person at the VA who has been the same. I love her, but I won't lie, I pay for outside psychology because I through one of the wounded warrior programs that I went to, they referred me to Centerstone where they give you the 10 free sessions. I found a therapist I really like. He's a marine combat vet, and he and I have bonded and I'm like, you know what, if I have to pay for my own mental health, I don't care because who cares about money if I'm gonna not be happy? Yeah.

Liz Valade [: 00:30:32

But I went through a while of trying to find ways to do it because I get I mean, don't get me wrong, I did the wrong things. I got a DWI because I self medicated like I did all this stupid stuff. But I found some veterans programs that really, really helped me, which is really what we wanted to talk about today anyway. Yeah. So the first one that I found was PATH, Warrior Path, p a t h h, progressive alternatives to helping heroes. It was founded by Boulder Crest, which ironically is like 20 minutes away from me. But I did not go to the one in Bluemont, Virginia. I went through Gratitude America down in Florida.

Liz Valade [: 00:31:18

And what it is it is like the art of dealing with post traumatic growth. It's based on 2 psychologists science from North Carolina from 20 years of research. I can't tell you what it all is because they ask you not to do it, But that program literally like saved me from putting a bullet through my mouth. And that was like the art. The premise is how you take all your military training and repurpose it to how to function in America or society as a whole. The next one that I went to was home base, and that is out of Mass General, and it is in partners with the Boston Red Sox ironically, and they give you the science of everything. So literally they'll explain neurotransmitters and all of this stuff. So when you combine the 2 with the art and science, which to me as a special operations planner, all they ever teach you about is all of our stuff is art and science combined.

Liz Valade [: 00:32:19

So when you put the 2 together, it's like, oh, this makes complete sense.

Captain Kim [: 00:32:22

Yeah. Made sense for you. Yes.

Liz Valade [: 00:32:24

The next one was K9 Calvary. Obviously, that one's near and dear to my heart. That's why I volunteer with them. So k 9 k does 100% free service dog training for service connected veterans. And the difference between k 9 k and all the other programs that I have found, it is you with your dog making a custom service dog for the tasks that you need. It is not a company training a dog and giving it to you. You take your dog, You get trained for specific tasks. If there's a training protocol for a task that we don't have, it'll get developed for you.

Liz Valade [: 00:33:04

Well so and on top of that, we call it the pack. So everyone who's a member of k nine k, that is a veteran, we have a pack chat. And so if you ask questions, if you're having a hard day, you can talk to other people. If you're like for me, it took me 4 years to fight the army to admit that I was in combat because I worked with soft and records were classified and they were like prove that your PTSD is combat related because your paperwork and blah blah blah. And now because the army finally said that now I can work on my VA paperwork and things like that because I'm not a 100% disabled even though I got medevaced out of Iraq and things like that. And it's like, come on. I know people who have gotten paper cuts at basic training that are a 100%. And I'm like, are you kidding me, dude?

Captain Kim [: 00:33:53

Yeah. Are you still working? Are you still pushing through that with your VSO?

Liz Valade [: 00:33:57

I am pushing through it, but I'm also still not a quitter.

Captain Kim [: 00:34:02

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I wanted to ask you because the canine Calvary, did you have your dog before you found out about canine Calvary?

Liz Valade [: 00:34:12

I did. So I had a dog. His name was Scout. Scout's still alive. Scout lives with my brother and his kids. Scout was ready to retire. At the same time, he's a border collie and they can be possessive. My brother was having his first child, so we had to wait until we knew Scout wasn't gonna eat the child.

Liz Valade [: 00:34:33

I remember the day that my brother called me and said, Hey, Scott's good with the kid. And I'm like, Oh, so bye. My friend Ronnie was here and her son, Bobby, who's like my spirit child who comes to baseball with me and I love that little kid to death. And so here we are in Virginia. They live in Philly. We looked for another border collie. We drove to Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Oh, yes.

Liz Valade [: 00:34:58

Picked up a border collie and then drove back to Virginia. And then the next day they had to drive back to Philly, but they helped me pick out Rocky. So I had had my little puppy. He was 16 weeks old, and I called wounded warrior. I got the you know how they do the resource list? A 120 at the time, there were a 125 service dog organizations on there. Because it's 60 to a $100,000 to train a service dog. I called every number on that list and looking for grants or money because I don't have random 100 ks sitting around. No, I mean, I wish you did.

Captain Kim [: 00:35:38

Someday. Not quite.

Liz Valade [: 00:35:39

But so, and finally I found K9K and they're actually based in Woodland, Washington. And I talked to them and they were like, no, we do it like this, that. Because like all the other ones, they train a dog, they give it to you, there's like a 2 to 4 year waiting list. Yeah. But I love the program because the best thing is number 1, Rocky and I have a bond. Like there is no bond that Rocky and I don't the dog tries to catch home runs. He watches baseball on TV.

Captain Kim [: 00:36:10

He's doing that now.

Liz Valade [: 00:36:12

Well, he's watching football right now.

Captain Kim [: 00:36:14

Oh, I thought okay.

Liz Valade [: 00:36:16

It's not baseball season. Literally, well, so it's funny, like, in May of this past year, the Mariners were in town and I was coming back from the bathroom and Julio Rodriguez had hit a home run into my section and Rocky tried to catch the ball. Yeah, Rocky. So I ended up meeting Julio Rodriguez because I'm a season ticket holder for the national. So we were there the next day And Julio came over and he's like, is that the dog? So the mariners had posted that on Facebook. And so, like, half the fans are complaining about the team, and then there's a whole another line of comments. And they're like, does anyone not see that dog trying to catch the home run? But so because I work in baseball now I have a lot of Spanish speaking clients. So I explained to Julio, I was like, Rocky knows you can call him Ricoso.

Liz Valade [: 00:37:06

We hablos espanol. And I was like, if you say Cinco, he'll put his paw on the glass and, you know, pretend to high five you. So I ended up meeting, like, one of the biggest stars in baseball because the dog tried to catch his homework. But how many future hall of famers can say a dog tried to catch a home run and it was I mean, you could see it on ESPN when they played the highlights and everything.

Captain Kim [: 00:37:28

I love Rocky. Oh, my gosh. You'll have to send me that link so I can watch it.

Liz Valade [: 00:37:34

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Everybody's like, I can't believe your dog tried to catch a ball. I'm like, he knows. He's a fan too.

Captain Kim [: 00:37:41

He is your spirit animal. I mean, you do have a bond, you were saying.

Liz Valade [: 00:37:46

yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:37:46

He pulls off your energy.

Liz Valade [: 00:37:48

Well, it's because I trained him. Yeah. For the I mean, granted he's trained in all of his tasks, but he has the tasks specific to me. Yeah. So he knows exactly. I know he can tell when I'm feeling stressed or anxious before I even can tell. And he naturally picks up on it and takes me to chill me out. Like I will say his favorite task is social interaction though.

Liz Valade [: 00:38:16

And he's the best at it. And it's perfect. And I love it. But because everyone's like, Oh, you don't pet a service dog. And I'm like, Mine is one that is allowed to be pet. And they're like, Well, why? And I'm like, So Rocky is one of his tasks is social interaction. So he introduces himself to you to make me feel comfortable and then they're like then they all fall in love with them.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:37

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I have to ask you, if you were to give women these days, women that are in the military now or want to join the military, what advice would you give them?

Liz Valade [: 00:38:51

Join the air force. They have a better standard of living. I tell that everyone that's not just for women, and that's just for anyone who are in the military. But for women, don't take no for an answer. Hell no. So I was actually asked if I wanted to go to Ranger School. And if it wouldn't have been, I was too old at the time. I had already been medevaced out of Iraq.

Liz Valade [: 00:39:14

I had already broken my arm in Afghanistan, like, and I told them. I was like, no offense. I don't wanna lose all my gains. And they were like, that's exactly why you would have been perfect. I didn't I happen to be with a bunch of rangers at the time. And I was like, hey, I have crazy respect for you guys, and I'm just too old. I was like, if I was 10 years younger, hell yeah, I would've done it. But it's not for me.

Liz Valade [: 00:39:38

But don't take no for an answer. If you think you can do it, go for it. You set your own limits. No one else can set your limits.

Captain Kim [: 00:39:46

Love that. I love that. What we can talk like hours, but there is so much and we will offline, but I wanna thank you so much for being on the podcast. You are amazing from when you were like this little kid with that passion and perseverance and love for baseball, and you transformed your military, all that trauma from your military career into goodness. You helping with canine cavalry and the other nonprofits that you were part of, and to save yourself, finding yourself worthy to be like, no. I'm worth more than this. I need to get myself healthy mentally and physically, and I love that. So thank you so much.

Liz Valade [: 00:40:24

Well, that's the other thing. It's not overnight. It took 5, 6 years. Well, no. And that's why we met at Save the Brave, and that was, like, one of those big culmination events. Like, I will tell you when I was walking on the bridge to go bungee jumping, man, I had talked to my therapist for months about this. And everyone's like, Oh, did you pray not to die? I was like, No, actually, the first thing I did is I prayed to get the strength to be able to go. And that's why the first time I did the running start because I was like, dude, I can't do it.

Liz Valade [: 00:41:01

And that's also why I asked Javier to do it the second time because the first time, like I explained to him, I didn't get over the anxiety I was giving myself about the anxiety of the anxiety. Yes. And so the second time was me enjoying it and stuff.

Captain Kim [: 00:41:18

So just for the viewers, Save the Brave is a veteran, nonprofit. And so they put on these retreats, and we had one in Central Oregon, Bend, Oregon. And Central Oregon has one of the tallest bridges. So, of course go big or go home.

Captain Kim [: 00:41:32

They're gonna utilize it for bungee jumping, and it's scary. You just stand at the edge of this platform, and they're like, okay. Go ahead and jump. And you're like, what? So where did you find the strength then? Because it is scary. I mean, even though all the stuff you have done in your life, voluntarily jumping off a bridge.

Liz Valade [: 00:41:55

I don't remember the name of my white water rafting person. Mhmm. I can't remember her name now. Her son's a Navy Seal too. He was going through BUDS at the time. Oh. And we're friends on Facebook and I feel so bad about not remembering your name now.

Captain Kim [: 00:42:13

Jen. Jen. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Liz Valade [: 00:42:15

So as I was standing there and freaking out, I heard her tell an older couple that was standing there that I was a badass because I had 13 combat deployments. And I was like, I have to do it now. I was like, you just told these 7580 year old people that I'm a badass, so I can't be scared now. And if it wasn't for Jen saying that, I don't know if I could have because I was like, I have to do it. Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:42:45

Yes. we'll have to do that again. You'll have to come out and jump off the bridge again. We'll do it.

Liz Valade [: 00:42:49

Oh, definitely. Well, hopefully I can get to one of your guys's retreats because I really would like to. The problem is timing. Your stuff is generally when I'm the busiest in baseball.

Captain Kim [: 00:43:00

Oh, got okay. Yes. Well, 2025 schedule is gonna come out. We'll have it on our website and check there and, we'll chat then. Alright. Thank you. Thank you for tuning in to Dog Tag Diaries. We appreciate your willingness to listen and engage with these stories as we understand the challenge that comes with sharing and hearing them.

Captain Kim [: 00:43:24

Your support in witnessing the experience of our military women is invaluable. These stories are meant to inspire and provide meaning, and we hope they can help you find your own voice as well.

Captain Dakota [: 00:43:37

If you or anyone you know are in need of immediate help, call the crisis line by dialing 988, then press 1. There are resources available to help and provide guidance during difficult times. Please visit our website www.reveilletandretreatproject.org to learn more about the Reveille and Retreat project, including upcoming retreats for military women and resources. The link is in the show notes. We'll be here again next Wednesday. Keep finding the hope, the healing, and the power in community.