The Impact of Cultural Humility and Continued Service to Veterans -26

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Kim [: 00:00:02

Doctor Qwynn Galloway Salazar, an army veteran and end of life doula educator, has dedicated her life to elevating the voices of veterans From navigating the challenges of transitioning out of the military as a young single mom to becoming a trailblazer in veteran advocacy, Dr. Q's story is one of resilience and purpose. Recognized as one of USA Today's 2024 women of the year, she's now leading efforts to support veterans through end of life care and community transformation. Join us for a powerful conversation about service, advocacy, and the unwavering commitment to making a difference. Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries, where military women share true stories.

Captain Dakota [: 00:00:52

We are your hosts, captain Kim. And captain Dakota. The stories you are about to hear are powerful. We appreciate that you have joined us and are eager to learn more about these experiences and connect with the military women who are willing to share their stories in order to foster community and understanding.

Kim [: 00:01:12

Military women are providing valuable insight into their experiences, struggles, and triumphs. By speaking their truth, they contribute to a deeper understanding of the challenges they face and the resilience they demonstrate.

Captain Dakota [: 00:01:26

We appreciate your decision to join us today to gain insights and knowledge from the experiences of these courageous military women. Thank you for being here.

Kim [: 00:01:42

In this moving episode, we're joined by doctor Qwynn Galloway Salazar, also known as doc q, an army veteran, end of life doula educator, and the founder and CEO of In Their Honor. Doc Q shares her inspiring journey from growing up as the youngest of 6 children in New York City to serving in the United States Army, and how her military experience shaped her lifelong dedication to the veteran community. We'll dive into her transition from military service to civilian life as a single mom, her advocacy for women veterans, and the groundbreaking work supporting veterans through end of life care. Well, welcome, Doc Q.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:02:26

Hi, Kim. Thank you for having me tonight. It's so good to see you again.

Kim [: 00:02:31

What a small circle. Liz Estabrooks, who was on our podcast, I said, hey. If you know any other win interesting women, please send them my way. And she sends me your name. And I was like, wait a second.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:45

We already know each other.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:02:47

You know, when you think about how big we think the world really is, and when you take a moment and realize that there are very few degrees of separation, that's real. Yeah. That's so real. I mean, we were sitting in, like, an outside bar, right, in Bend, Oregon. And then we have these connections, and that's just how the universe works. And I feel like we're all just brought together to be able to carry along others that need to hear whatever we have to say. And that's powerful. Powerful.

Kim [: 00:03:26

I couldn't agree more. That was beautifully said. Beautifully said. And before we start the interview, I do want to congratulate you because what an honor. You were one of the USA, today's 2024 women of the year and also Georgia's inaugural woman veteran of the year. That's amazing.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:03:50

Thank you.

Kim [: 00:03:51

And I put that towards your passion and your love and your ability to stay true to who you are and what you believe in. And then when you do that, everything else just explodes.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:04:04

Yeah. You know, those accolades, and I'm grateful for them. But in the middle of just living life and doing what is your purpose, And people reach out and say, hey. You've been honored for this. We need you to show up here. And I'm just like, wait. What? Why? Right?

Kim [: 00:04:25

Like I'm just living my life and being passionate.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:04:28

I'm just living my life. Right? Yeah. But I'm grateful because here's the thing. For so many years after I took my uniform off, and I think there's so many women that are going to feel what I'm saying when I say this, I felt like society didn't see me. I felt like society didn't see my fellow women veterans, my fellow minority veterans Yeah. That served because we didn't look like what society portrayed as the veteran. So to be honored in those ways allowed me to say, I'm not invisible, but it also allows me to inspire another badass woman veteran to stand in her truth and do whatever it is that she feels empowered to do. And that, my friend, is what I'm here to do.

Kim [: 00:05:18

And you could tell, and we will get into that. But I have to learn about you as this little girl, and I have to learn about you in the early years. So let's hear about it.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:05:29

Yeah. So I was born and raised in Queens, New York. I am the youngest of 6 extremely extroverted humans. I think I was the introverted one that decided to want to segue off into the world and do something else. I grew up in a time where I was very sensitive to humanity. And I was recently on another podcast, and the host had said to me, you know, you just seem like you always care. And I'm like, yeah, that's always been who I am. Like, even when I was a teenager, I was in the clown club.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:06:08

I would go to nursing homes and sit with old people and just be in a space where people didn't feel so alone. And that's who I've always been. And that's the wildest part. When you can trace, like, that piece of your personality all the way back to when you were a kid, and you're like, oh, now it all makes sense because this is who I've always been. I've always been that person that wanted to journey alongside other people and make them feel loved, make them feel seen, make them feel appreciated. And that's who I was. And so when I had the opportunity to leave New York City, I moved to Atlanta, Georgia for college. And my freshman year in college, this was 2000.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:07:01

A recruiter approached me and, of course, said the thing that most recruiters tell young students, you can see the world. Oh. And I said, sign me up.

Kim [: 00:07:14

And we'll pay you to see the world.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:07:17

To see the world. Sign me up. So off I went in 2,001, to basic training. I got out of basic training in August of 2,001. And in less than a few weeks, the towers were coming down. And that changed the entire trajectory of my life. By 2003, my unit was called up to active duty. I did not deploy.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:07:44

I was mobilized to Fort Bragg, which is, I think, Fort Liberty now in North Carolina, And I stayed there for 2 years, mobilized. And what was unique about that experience, Kim, was towards the end of my time at Bragg, I worked in the mail room. And so I was a postal clerk. And just the stories, I would have soldiers that were coming in that were getting ready for deployment and soldiers that would come to get their mail that were coming off of deployment. And for whatever reason, once again, going back to whatever I had as a characteristic, as part of my personality as a child, allowed these soldiers to come in, enlisted in officers, and share their truths and share what they hoped for, share what they were afraid of, share what things that still haunted them when they came off of active duty I mean, off of their deployments. And I felt this emotion that I wanted to do more of that. And so I had finished up my bachelor's degree in criminal justice, and I decided to go get a master's degree in counseling. Because what I started realizing was a lot of our service members were coming back with varied degrees of trauma.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:09:02

And I wanted to be able to support service members and their families with the invisible wounds of war. So looking at the post traumatic stress, looking at traumatic brain injury, looking at moral injuries, survivor's guilt, major depression, and how it affected various aspects of their lives. And I've been on that journey for decades. And listen, when I got off of act of duty, Kim, I took that uniform off and I chucked it to the side, and I was just like, I'm done. You're talking about 23 years later, And there are moments where I feel like I'm just getting started.

Kim [: 00:09:44

Oh, I love that. Yes. And you seem like a woman who does not take for granted, not one day that this is your calling and you will do what you were put on earth to do.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:09:58

Yeah. We'll stop. And I mean, why? Right. And I say, won't stop. And then I say, why very intentional when you can sit in dark spaces with people that have seen the worst of human and you're able to sit, and you're able to allow them to bring a level of vulnerability that they know that they can't just share anywhere. Who am I not to continue to give that to those I serve with? I may be out of uniform, but guess what? There are some things that stay ingrained in us that don't go away. Right? Don't go away. Put me in a room of soldiers, and it's almost like, just don't ask me to do a PT test.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:10:40

Put me in a room of soldiers. And it's just it's something about that culture that's wrapped into our data, that's woven into our DNA, that allows me 20 plus years later to continue to serve.

Kim [: 00:10:56

Oh, my goodness. I love that. And I love that you are on earth to do this.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:11:00

Thank you, Fred.

Kim [: 00:11:02

Yes. Because even just being around you the first time I met you, it was very easy to open up. That is your gift. So when someone comes up to you, it really is or meets you, it really is easy to be like, wow, she really does care. She really does see me. And you wanna move in a little closer.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:11:20

Yeah. And that's so okay. I think there's something to it. I've had so many people say, like, I feel like you've been my friend forever. And I'm like, because I am. How about that? We all need a friend. If that's what I give off and make you feel, guess what? Cool beans. I'm here for it.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:11:39

No one deserves to walk this journey called life alone. And if I can be a part of your journey at some point in your journey to make you feel seen, make you feel heard, validate your existence, hell yeah. Let's do that.

Kim [: 00:11:55

Hell yeah. Let's do that.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:11:57

Let's do that.

Kim [: 00:11:58

Now I have to ask you because you're there for so many people. What was it like being a single mom? And did you have a person or someone like you who is like, oh my goodness, let me help. What do you need from me?

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:12:16

Yeah. I'm grateful along this journey that I've had the most amazing mentors that have come alongside and in different capacities. Right? One mentor, I won't name her because I didn't ask her to name her, but she ended up being a sergeant major. Right? Sergeant major in army. When we were serving together, she was hard on me. And it was to the point where I'm like, do you like me? Why are you so hard on me? Do you like me? And I realized it was more that she loved me and she saw the things in me that I couldn't see in myself as a 20 year old, as a 21 year old single mom. I remember when I had my oldest daughter who will be 21 on November 26, she stayed behind. Right? Because it's Thanksgiving.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:13:12

She stayed behind while I was giving birth to my daughter. And this is our sergeant major at the time. Right? One of the sergeant majors at that and when we were at brag. And to this day, 20 plus years, she will still say, you are my first baby. I bring her up because there were so many days, Kim, that I had questioned many decisions that I had made that were going to impact my life. But her thing to me was always, okay. Now what? And I wanted there were moments where I just wanted to cry. I just wanted to just curl up and just have someone feel sorry

Kim [: 00:13:51

for me. Well, that's a sergeant major for sure. They're not made to be cuddly. Now what, soldier? Come on.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:13:59

Get up. You got a PT test to get ready to take, and you better do this remedial PT, and you better figure out who's gonna watch your baby while you do it because you need to get promoted to be able to take care of that baby as a single mom.

Kim [: 00:14:11

Oh my gosh. You do sound like a sergeant major when you just

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:14:15

And so she has journeyed with me. Right? She has seen all 3 of my daughters be born when it was time to build. My husband and I built a home. She's in real estate. She helped us find the land. Like the relationship is one of a kind. And so having phenomenal women like her in my life to stretch me when I didn't even think it was possible to be stretched was what I needed in my twenties. And so when my oldest daughter looks at me now, I'm like, it's because I had a really good group of strong women to say to me, k.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:14:56

When you fall, we're gonna pick you up. We're gonna dust you off, but you don't have the chance to quit. And so here I am.

Kim [: 00:15:05

I truly believe that as well. A solid community of healthy women surrounding you and seeing you as human and saying, okay. Yeah. We are gonna mess up. Yeah. That's gonna happen. Okay. Well, like you said, let's go.

Kim [: 00:15:21

I got you. Yeah. And you do the same for them.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:15:25

Yeah. I try to. And it's a gift. It is such a gift to be able to receive that, but then to also look at other women in uniform, outside of uniform, that I can give the same love to now that I'm in the age bracket of what these women were when I was 20 and 21, to be able to say, okay, I've got some grades and wisdom, but I got them honestly. Let me not tell you what to do, but just let me show up. Let me show up and hold space and be there for you when it matters the most.

Kim [: 00:16:01

And I think that's the best thing you can do to empower someone else. Yeah. I'll wait here right with you. We're gonna we'll figure it out.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:16:09

Everything is figured out.

Kim [: 00:16:11

Everything.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:16:12

I think there's a book. I I can't remember the name of the author or she it yeah. Uh-huh. And it's true.

Kim [: 00:16:17

It did. And I like I like that word. I read it. I can't remember the author as well, but, yes. Let's hear about, like, transitioning transitioning out of the military.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:16:28

What a nightmare. Transitioning out of the military was tough. 1, I was a single mom. 2, when I mobilized, I was a full time college student. So now I'm getting off of active duty. I'm no longer a full time student. I think I was maybe 22, and I have this toddler in tow. And I'm going back and I'm reintegrating into a society that once again hasn't seen me.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:17:01

I was brash as hell, and I was trying to figure out what did I need to do to be able to support my daughter and thrive. And I'll never forget the very first time I had the chance to interview for a civilian position. I love my sister with all that I am, but my sister was able to get me this interview. I was finance. So my primary MOS was finance in the military. So she found this job and was able to get me this interview for this finance position. Here I am. Can I go in? And I'm looking around.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:17:37

They've got this was a time when the little scooters, the little razor scooters had just came out. People are riding around on said razor scooters. There were margarita machines, popcorn machines, and I'm looking like, I worked in a World War 2 barrack. What is this? I get into the interview room with the panel of interviewers. And to make the story short, they did not know what the hell to do with me and I did not know what the hell to say to them because I was ill prepared and they were not aware of military culture. I remember leaving that interview. My parents and my sister took my daughter to Disney that week, and I missed the trip to Disney because I was trying to find employment to take care of my daughter. And I got into my car and I cried and I cried.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:18:28

And I remember saying to myself, I don't know how, I don't know when, but I'm gonna change that. At some point, people will understand how important it is to understand what it looks like to have someone who served in the military step into that space, looking for an opportunity to work. And so that was the last civilian interview I ever first and last. 1st and last, 1st and last. But it was rough and it was hard because I lived in this world in military and coming out and finding the supports and resources that were readily accessible on a military installation for me and my daughter was no longer a thing when I came home, and I was now a reservist again. It wasn't a thing. And this is early 2000, so it really wasn't a thing. And so an opportunity opened up where I got the chance to work with military families, and I took that job part time during hurricane Katrina.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:19:38

And the rest is history. That part time job in a call center, in a call center, allowed me to realize that there were areas and topics as it related to our military connected communities that I really wanted to put my finger on. And I just kept doing it and doing it and doing it until I landed in the spaces that I'm in today. It's interesting because sometimes I have people say to me, my gosh, you just got where you've gotten so fast. And I'm like, they do have to tell you something. It's not as easy as it looks.

Kim [: 00:20:16

No. There were so many struggles along the way.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:20:19

Too many to count, but I'm grateful because having those struggles allows me to be empathetic, not sympathetic, right, but allows me to show empathy because I understand what some of those struggles are like. You know, the moment that you say to someone, hi, my name is doctor blah blah blah blah blah, they automatically put you in a category over here as though you had this silver spoon in your mouth. And I'm like, that's not my reality. Not my reality at all. I had to crawl and walk and stumble and fall face down backwards, then get up and then begin to run and then fall again and then get back up. And that is life. And I've realized that that's life and that's the beauty of life is going through all of those experiences, but to be able to walk alongside people that are having, especially women veterans that are having these experiences and listening. And knowing that I have a platform, being able to take some of the things that I've heard and do something about it. That is what you call success, is when you're able to hear things, storm, and say, I didn't just hear you.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:21:38

I'm gonna make sure someone's doing something about that.

Kim [: 00:21:42

Oh, yeah. It's gonna get implemented. I could see that from you.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:21:46

Yeah. And it's so cool. It's cool.

Kim [: 00:21:51

So tell me some of the experiences you've had with women. I know there's a HIPAA law and everything, but as just some of the experiences, we don't have to name names.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:22:01

Mhmm. One that I I talk about quite often is my mentor that I had during my dissertation. So I decided, I got my master's degree in counseling. Then years later, I decided I'm gonna go back to school one more time because remember when I was in that interview and those folks didn't know what the heck to do with me and I didn't know what the heck to say to them? I'm gonna do something about workforce development and how employers interface, hire, retain, train veterans. Right? So I decided to pursue a PhD in industrial and organizational psychology. So my dissertation was focused on post 911 women veterans' transition experience from the military to the civilian workforce.

Kim [: 00:22:48

Oh.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:22:49

Because I wanted to go back and hear the things that I needed to hear. Right? To say that wasn't my only story. There are other women veterans that experienced similar experiences with their transition and going into the civilian workforce. And so while I was doing that, I had a phenomenal mentor. At the time that I met her, she had stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She was a badass Marine, but she was dying from stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. And we would talk every month, a little bit about dissertation, a little bit about her journey, a little bit about what she hoped for the future. And one of the things towards the end that she shared was many of us who end up having serious illnesses due to our service.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:23:40

At the end of life, when it's hard because you challenged me to do something about it. And I'm always up for a good damn challenge. But what happened was in the middle of writing this dissertation and hearing her, I was inclined to become a death doula. Because once again, I didn't want to hear about other veterans feeling alone at the end of life. And this is in the middle of the pandemic.

Kim [: 00:24:09

Yeah.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:24:10

And so I said I needed to do something about it. And so I became a death doula. And I began having conversations with everyone that I freaking knew that would listen because I wanted our society to be able to say more than thank you for your service. I wanted our society to under uniforms off. For a good majority of us, we continue to serve in some capacity way beyond getting a DD 214. But I wanted our society to see how important it was to show up when veterans, caregivers, and survivors needed them most. And so what I thought initially was just going to be, I'm going to do this PhD thing and ride on out into the sunset and do whatever comes next. It actually turned into me.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:25:10

And I sit sometimes and I think about one person's life was able to impact my life. And now I'm able to impact the way veterans die. That's huge. And I don't take it lightly. Right? Like, I don't take it light. And it was her as my first mentor. And then literally right after she died, another woman veteran came. And I journeyed with her and we just and I'm gonna say celebrate because we celebrated her life.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:25:43

Friday. Friday, we had a year. That's actually her right there above me. We celebrated a year that she died. So many things I learned from her. I just keep the work going. And I started asking the question, how does one's military experience resurface at the end of life? And I had so many people stumped. And I'm like, are we not thinking about that? And then it came to having the chance to partner with hospice and palliative care organizations.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:26:15

And what are we doing for women better? Yeah. How are we ensuring that whatever programming, whatever supports that you're providing, they are culturally sensitive because we have unique experiences as women. Many of us don't even identify as veterans No. Until we're asked, have you served? So being able to do that, the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, a year or so ago, didn't even have the resources for women veterans. Right? And no fault of their own. Right? It was just broad. In love. My question was, do we not die? We also need to be able to have resources dedicated to us and programming dedicated to us to meet our needs and other minority populations, LGBTQIA.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:27:10

How can we ensure we are culturally sensitive? And how do we bring cultural humility to the space? When people say cultural competence to me, I'm like, you can take that. You can take that and put that somewhere else because you will never be culturally competent about everything. Never ever will you? Because my experience is going to look completely different than your experience, Kim. But when you're culturally humble when you're bringing cultural humility to the space, what you're saying is, I don't know what I don't know. Please teach me what I need to know about you. I don't want you to tell me anything about the army as a branch, the reserves, my rank, my MOS. I want you to show up and say, how does each aspect of my identity shape who I am and what I want my legacy to be? There are too many people in our veteran cemeteries that we don't have stories for. Yeah.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:28:14

And that's not okay. We need to be able to capture their stories. What was their legacy? What do we need to know about them and how they lived so we can continue to keep their stories alive so that we can continue to inform generations on and on and on.

Kim [: 00:28:31

Yeah.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:28:32

And we existed and we've done something in this lifetime.

Kim [: 00:28:35

I love the work that you do because we are, like you said, we are all individuals and we all have our stories and experiences that are so unique and different and beautiful and scary and trauma like, but when someone asks you about you in particular, I know the first time I got asked that I was like, wait a second. I don't even know because I don't think I'd been asked that before. So for you to do that has to again, empower, but make people feel so seen and loved and heard. And that heals. That is what heals.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:29:17

I can't tell you how many times that I sit with healthcare providers. And one of the things that I tell them all the time for a moment, put your clipboard down Because when you're able to connect with someone, human to human, heart to heart, and not based on what assessments, diagnosis, the checklist that you have to make, and you see me, it's medicine.

Kim [: 00:29:41

Perfectly said that's it. Human connection.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:29:45

It's medicine. And I learned that through suicide prevention, right? Like working in the space of suicide prevention. And I see a plethora of evidence based modalities that are being used, but one that I will speak to the high heavens every single time is the power of connection.

Kim [: 00:30:05

Yes. True, sincere connection.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:30:08

People wanna be seen and know that they matter.

Kim [: 00:30:10

Yeah. Because we do. And somewhere along the way, that was taken away. And we are all gifts of God, so we need to bring that back in one another. You're right. Human connection, humanity.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:30:23

Every single time. It's so important. We live in a very individualistic society. And if we can just take a moment to say, okay, you're on social media. Who's the one friend that I'm just gonna send a message to today? Just once. Just to say, hey, girl. Hey, girl. Hey.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:30:41

I hope you have an amazing day today.

Kim [: 00:30:45

Yeah. And it doesn't take that long.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:30:47

It takes the same time for you to take a selfie.

Kim [: 00:30:49

Exactly. I take 3 people a day, and just whoever pops in my head, and I just write a little blurb, like, why I feel like they are important. Specific things to them. I don't expect anything in return. I just want them to know how important they are to the world and to me and to other people. That is medicine. That changes the trajectory of the day because sometimes we do just wake up in the, you know, maybe we had a nightmare from our traumas or what you're just feeling out of it. And you get this message from your friend saying, I love you because and listing things.

Kim [: 00:31:32

You just go, oh my gosh. Thanks for that reminder. You're right. I am.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:31:37

Yeah. Without a doubt. Shared humanity and connection. Go into your phone, scroll through your text message, not your the last 5. Look for one that from a friend or colleague that it's been some time and just check to say, hey, I'm thinking about you. Yes. I'm thinking about you. That's it.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:32:02

It nothing more, nothing less. You're not wanting anything. You just want to say to someone, you matter, man. Yes. You matter.

Kim [: 00:32:11

And then you send off that beautiful cascade of hormones in that body.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:32:16

In the brain.

Kim [: 00:32:17

Yes. And it just floods you, floods you with warm, fuzzy feeling. And you're like, yeah, you know what? I am a badass. I'm a you know what? I'm gonna go out in the day and I'm gonna badass it. And I'm going to continue with this and make sure that somebody else feels loved.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:32:34

And what happens in that is it becomes a ripple effect.

Kim [: 00:32:39

Yes.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:32:40

Because that's the thing, right? Like when we're able to do that and we're able to say, you matter. Now we're challenging someone else to say to someone else, you matter. And then they do it. It's like throwing that pebble and just watching it do this. And I'm like, yes. Let's do more of that because it costs you nothing. No. It cost you nothing.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:33:04

Be kind. I have a lot of colleagues that are like, you're like the freaking human Care Bear. You know what? I'll take that. I wear that right next to my doctoral degree, and I'm looking at it in a bookcase right now. A colleague of mine bought me a huge Care Bear because it's true.

Kim [: 00:33:21

Oh, I love it. Did they get you the one with the big heart?

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:33:24

It's the yellow one. It's functional.

Kim [: 00:33:25

Yeah. I love that.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:33:28

And that's what it's about. You know, truly, when you think about living, I've seen a lot, done a lot, but when I'm able to have someone see themselves and have them see a little bit of the best in themselves and then share that with the world. The world needs that right now in 2024, when we feel like there is such little hope just across the board, not even going political, just across the board where there's just this divide and this tension. And it's like, can we all just love on each other just a little bit? Because we're teaching our kids that this behavior is acceptable and it's not. And these are gonna be kids that are going to grow up and be the leaders of this nation that are going to be caring for us when we're aging. And is that what we want? Or do we want kids that will grow up into phenomenal human adults that will care about humanity?

Kim [: 00:34:34

Yeah. Qwynn, what the world needs now is love. Sweet love?

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:34:42

Sweet love.

Kim [: 00:34:43

I love that you just chimed in on that.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:34:46

Yeah. I wasn't gonna sing with you though because I cannot sing.

Kim [: 00:34:48

You can't either. I was hoping you would, but you kinda you kinda did chime in though.

Kim [: 00:34:57

Well, so to end our interview, the question we have is women that are already in the military or thinking of going into the military, what advice would you give them?

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:35:08

Have a plan. And that may be hard if you're 18. I was 18 when I joined the military. But as much of a plan that you can have, have one. Have a plan for who you're gonna call when things get tough. Have a plan for what you're gonna do with your money because really, if you don't have a plan for what you're gonna do with your money, you're gonna make really stupid decisions because that's what many people do. Have a plan in what your trajectory is gonna look like. And when I say a plan, I'm not saying a 5 year, 10 year plan.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:35:40

Not saying that because we know that paths are windy. But have some insight and a bit of vision of what you want that to look like. It's powerful. When you get into the military, you look for the people. I'm not even gonna say women. You look for your fellow service members that you can learn something from. Pinpoint them early. Shine.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:36:05

Don't dim your light. Shine. For women that are getting out of the military, that year before you get ready to get out the military, start your transition plan. Not just taps. What family? What friends? What does your community look like? What do you look like? Who are you now? Because who you are in uniform is going to be significantly different once you take off that uniform. Whatever you can do to have self reflection, whether it looks like journaling, whether that looks like just spending time getting to know you. Because if you don't, the world will tell you what they want you to be. Walk in knowing what you want to be in the world.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:36:53

Don't let this world define you because it will if you let them. And if all else fails, find Gwen, and she'll dust you off. Stop you.

Kim [: 00:37:06

Dust you off.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:37:08

Dust you off. We'll have cheesecake, and then I'm gonna tell you now what? Now what are you gonna do?

Kim [: 00:37:13

Oh, gosh. Thank you so much, doc q. This has been amazing. And one, I want to praise you because the ability to stay true to oneself is not the easiest thing to do. And the fact that you tapped into your childhood and was like, this is me. This is who I've been since I was little and was able to just progress that. And now look at you. You are helping so many people in the world.

Kim [: 00:37:40

I just wanna thank you for being you and believing in your passion and also bringing all those people that were your mentors along the way and just intertwining all that knowledge.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:37:53

I love how we spent this time talking really about what I want my legacy to be in this world and not just what my title is. At the end of the day, when I die, no one cares about that. What people care about is how you make them feel when they are in your presence. Yes. So can I thank you for not asking me to go through the litany of all the things that I've done? Because guess what? It's great. I'm grateful. But what I want your listeners to hear when I think about my dog tags, my dog tags stay hung. It chokes me up in my closet and every day I get dressed.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:38:36

I look at my dog tags and I think about the girl who first put those dog tags on at 18 and what I would tell her now. And I do that intentionally because if I start there, I know my why for the rest of my day.

Kim [: 00:38:53

Oh, yes. Your why.

Qwynn Salazar [: 00:38:55

So for everyone who's listening, your call to action is being intentional and reach out to someone that you know, that needs to be loved on. Don't get your title in the way of who you are and what you are being to this world because you are more than just a title. You are more than just a degree. You are more than just woman of the year. You are someone that is giving life and someone else is watching you and feeling really fucking empowered because you chose to show up and live the best life that you possibly could. And that, my friend, is thriving and living. And I will continue to look at my dog tags and be reminded that that's the reason why I serve to ensure that every woman, every veteran that feels like they've been invisible to feel less invisible in their day to day.

Kim [: 00:39:45

Qwynn, thank you so much. Thank you for tuning in to dog tag diaries. We appreciate your willingness to listen and engage with these stories as we understand the challenge that comes with sharing and hearing them. Your support in witnessing the experience of our military women is invaluable. These stories are meant to inspire and provide meaning,

Captain Dakota [: 00:40:11

and we hope they can help you find your own voice as well. If you or anyone you know are in need of immediate help, call the crisis line by dialing 988, then press 1. There are resources available to help and provide guidance during difficult times. Please visit our website, www.reveilleandretreatproject.org, to learn more about the Reveille and Retreat project, including upcoming retreats for military women and resources. The link is in the show notes. We'll be here again next Wednesday. Keep finding the hope, the healing, and the power in community.