Strength, Motherhood, and Military Service: A Marine’s Journey with LtCol Kristin Tortorici -19

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Captain Kim [: 00:00:04

How do you balance the demands of military life while raising six kids? Lieutenant Colonel Kristin Tortorici knows firsthand. In this episode, we dive into our incredible journey from overcoming an abusive marriage to juggling the challenges of a dual military household to leading with compassion in the Marine Corps.

Captain Dakota [: 00:00:24

Whether you're looking for inspiration or practical advice on resilience and parenting in the toughest circumstances, Kristen's story is one you don't want to miss. Tune in for an unforgettable conversation on finding strength, purpose, and grace.

Captain Kim [: 00:00:43

Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries, where military women share true stories.

Captain Dakota [: 00:00:48

We are your hosts, Captain Kim and Captain Dakota. The stories you are about to hear are powerful. We appreciate that you have joined us and are eager to learn more about these experiences and connect with the military women who, who are willing to share their stories. In order to foster community and understanding.

Captain Kim [: 00:01:08

Military women are providing valuable insight into their experiences, struggles, and triumphs. By speaking their truth, they contribute to a deeper understanding of the challenges they face and the resilience they demonstrate.

Captain Dakota [: 00:01:22

We appreciate your decision to join us today to gain insights and knowledge from the experiences of these courageous military women. Thank you for being here. In this riveting episode, we sit down with Lieutenant Colonel Kristin Tortorici, a dedicated Marine Corps officer who has served since 2006. Kristin opens up about her adventurous childhood, the events that led her to pursue a military career after 911, and her remarkable journey balancing life as a Marine.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:01

And a mother of six.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:02

She shares her inspiring story of overcoming adversity, including surviving an abusive marriage and navigating the challenges of military life while raising a family.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:14

Kristin's story is one of resilience, leadership, and finding strength in the face of difficulty. Whether you're a service member, parent, or someone looking for motivation, this episode is packed with wisdom and encouragement. Hi, Kristin. Thanks for joining us.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:02:30

Hi. Thank you so much for having me today.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:34

Kristin, I have not seen you since American Ninja warrior military edition.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:02:42

That's right. It's been a, it's been quite some time.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:46

Do you remember when that one, the episode that we were on aired?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:02:51

I do. We were out in San Pedro, California, and it was the first time they did like, I think it might have been the only time they did an all military special. It was really, it was really unique and awesome experience.

Captain Kim [: 00:03:03

It really was. And I got to meet you there, and I thought you were an exceptional female when I met you there. And now we are together. Start interviewing you for a podcast, and something new and exciting for Kristin's you just got promoted to lieutenant colonel.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:03:22

I did. I did. Yeah. July 1, got promoted. It was something I wasn't sure was going to happen, given my unique career path and some challenges early on. And we can talk about all of that later, but very excited and honored and privileged to be a lieutenant colonel in the Marine Corps now.

Captain Kim [: 00:03:38

Well, congratulations.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:03:39

Thank you.

Captain Kim [: 00:03:40

Congratulations. That's huge. Well, let's start, because you are interesting, and we would love to hear about your childhood.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:03:49

Yeah. So I grew up the middle of three kids, a sister who's about 18 months older than me and a brother who's four years younger. And we grew up kind of in the sticks of New Jersey, which I think a lot of people don't realize that there's country, farmland in New Jersey, and that's where I grew up. So we were very outdoorsy, very adventurous. And I joke that my dad just raised us all like little boys. Like, we were just outside fishing on the boat, riding four wheelers. I mean, we had a golf cart. We were driving around when I was probably six or seven, and he always pushed us to do wild and crazy things.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:26

Was your dad in the military?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:04:28

No, no, my dad never served. Interestingly, he's actually part of New Jersey task force one, so he was just down in the Asheville, North Carolina area, helpings with search and rescue. So he does his own kind of service, but was never in the military. But, no, like I said, he really raised us to be very adventurous. He would take us cliff jumping, bridge jumping. We may or may not have jumped off of the roof of the house into the pool when we were kids. Pretty sure it was his idea to put the trampoline, we had this above ground pool, and he would have move the trampoline right next to it, and we would bounce each other and do, like, double flips into the. Into the pool stuff that we would probably get shunned for now as parents if we did that with our kids.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:05:10

But it was cool back in the eighties.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:12

Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:13

So you did well on the trampoline part in American Ninja Warrior, because that was the one that got most everyone.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:05:20

Yes. I grew up again doing that, but then I was also a gymnast. And so I think a lot of the events on American Ninja Warrior are very. I have a gymnastics and pole vaulting background, and so there's a lot of upper body strength involved in that. And, yeah, the trampoline gave me no issues at all.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:36

So what made you join the military?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:05:39

So I was a senior in high school, September 11. The naval academy had reached out to me my junior year, looking to see if I would be interested in attending to be on the track and field team since I was a pole vaulter, not interested. I was like, there is zero chance that I would go to a military college. College is supposed to be wild and fun and, you know, not structured. And I think being not too far outside of New York City on September 11, there was a big change and a big shift in our country at that time in terms of, you know, pride for our country. And I had a desire to serve at that time. So it was just a couple days after September 11. I said those coaches had been reaching, and I came home and I told my parents I want to apply to the naval academy.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:06:21

My mom was terrified, but got on board very quickly when I told her that they wouldn't have to help me pay for college.

Captain Kim [: 00:06:26

So how did your dad feel about it?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:06:30

My dad was all in. He thought it was going to be an incredible experience. I think he was super proud of me for wanting to go that route.

Captain Kim [: 00:06:37

So take us through your time in the naval academy.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:06:40

I loved it, as, you know, the time we had American Ninja Warrior and just seeing kind of me on social media. I'm a very outgoing, bubbly, big, big personality. And definitely our freshman year, when they tried to, you know, keep me in a box, I just had fun with it. They would get so frustrated because I would smile so much when they would be yelling and, you know, trying to get us to do things. I'm pretty sure at one point they made me wear a pillowcase over my head because they were so sick of seeing me smile and laugh. But I had so much fun with it. And the friends that I made in my four years, there are truly family. I look at the company that I started with.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:07:16

I went through all four years with and graduated with. Those guys are my brothers and my sisters. It's a very male. It's a very male heavy school. I don't remember the exact percentage, but obviously that's not a large percentage of females at the naval academy. And so I think that my goingness, my confidence, and my physical abilities, the fact that I was able to kind of carry my own weight physically definitely helped me earn the respect of my classmates and my peers.

Captain Kim [: 00:07:44

Interesting that you said it was very male dominant, because I was going to ask you if you noticed not just with yourself, but your other female members, if there was any female discrimination.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:07:57

I think there definitely was. I think it's probably a lot better now. I was very fortunate that I didn't really experience that. You start, at least when I was there, we started with the same company. It was about 30 people, and you stayed with them the whole four years you're there. And my company, like I said, I was able to earn the respect of my classmates. Male dominated. Did I find any discrimination against females? I see there was discrimination against females at the time.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:08:27

It's probably a little bit better now that it was there, but it was not significant, and I didn't really experience a lot of it. Like I said before, I think the fact that outgoing and confident and able to carry my own weight and perform physically, I wasn't reliant on the guys around me to kind of do things for me. I think that helped me earn a lot of respect in the early years at the academy. So I don't feel like I experienced any particular discrimination, but I know that wasn't the case for everyone there.

Captain Kim [: 00:08:59

Did any of the women in your class suffer any of that?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:09:03

I'm sure there were some that did, and I think it's a combination of a bunch of young 18 year olds, type a personalities that are off on their own for the first time. They're adjusting to this quasi military life of a service academy. It's very competitive, and I definitely think that there were females that experienced being a feeling of being an outcast while they were there.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:29

Can you walk us through the rest of your military career after the naval academy, what you do from there?

Captain Kim [: 00:09:36

Right.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:09:36

So the Naval Academy commissions, I think, roughly 20% Marine Corps officers every year. And it was probably my junior year while I was there that I realized the Marine Corps was the better fit for me post graduation. So you get to put in preferences. I put Marine ground as my first choice and felt very fortunate that I was selected to commission into the Marine Corps. So May 26, 2006, graduation day and commissioning day, I became a second lieutenant in the Marine Corps.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:04

Oh, how amazing.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:06

And what was your job?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:10:08

So upon graduating, at least when you go the Marine Corps route, you're actually not really sure what your job is going to be. You graduate, and then you spend six months at the basic school in Quantico, Virginia, and during those six months, you go through essentially basic infantry training. Every Marine officer goes through that, regardless of your job or your career path. And towards the end of those six months, again, you get to put in some preferences, and then you get assigned your job. After that, I wanted public affairs, and again, was very fortunate that I was given public affairs as my job.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:41

What made you choose public affairs?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:10:43

I think I've always had. It's very personality driven. In high school, we had a tv studio that did the morning announcements, and that was possibly, like, my most favorite thing that I did in any of my classes in high school was I did the morning announcements, and it was very news reporter ish. We had a teleprompter and a camera, and I don't know what I was thinking public affairs was going to be, but it was kind of the journalistic route of the military, and I already knew that I liked that, and I really enjoy engaging with people. So that was really the driving factor behind my desire to become a public affairs officer.

Captain Kim [: 00:11:21

Yeah, that makes sense. And do you still do that now?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:11:25

Yes and no. I am still a public affairs officer for the Marine Corps. We've changed the name. It's. We now call it communication strategy and operations comstrat for short. And I am a comstat officer, but I am currently not doing a comstrat job. I'm currently working as the deputy military assistant to the assistant commandant of the Marine Corps. So one of our four star generals in the Marine Corps, I work directly for him in our front office.

Captain Kim [: 00:11:51

Wow, what an amazing, important job.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:11:53

It sounds, I think, a little more important than it is, but very busy.

Captain Kim [: 00:11:59

But. So give us a day in the life of you in that job, a.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:12:03

Day in the life of me in my current job. So I typically leave my house around 05:00 in the morning to go to the gym, at the gym from 530 to 630, and then I'll change over and get up to my office around 730, and then the day is just go, go, go. It's trying to keep his calendar in order, making sure that we get all of the read ahead materials or putting together his read ahead binder for the next day, tracking down any rfis that he might have. And when anything pops up, whether it's a meeting with the deputy secretary of defense or the secDef or another service vice, rearranging the entire calendar for the day to accommodate trip planning, you name it. We are all day long, and we go until. Until the day ends. And sometimes that's 530, sometimes that's a 07:00 p.m. so it really just all depends.

Captain Kim [: 00:12:58

Wow.

Captain Kim [: 00:12:59

And you have six kids, so your job does not stop there.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:13:05

It does not know. At this stage in our lives, I am so beyond thankful for my incredible husband, who is also a marine. It's a team effort, and he's carrying the water right now because his job is not nearly as demanding in terms of time commitment. So he gets home, I'd say 95% of the time before I do. So he's the one that makes sure that kids are finished with homework or have at least started homework. He gets dinner going, and then we kind of tag team bedtime routines.

Captain Kim [: 00:13:36

Good. It seems like you have a flow and a routine that works for both of you.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:13:40

We do, and we make it work. And there's definitely ebb and flow. Prior to coming up to the Washington, DC area and we were down at Camp Lejeune, my husband was in. Our schedules were kind of flip flopped. I had the more flexible schedule. He was a generals aide at the time. He was gone for travel. He was working long hours, and I was the one kind of running the show at home.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:14:00

So it's his turn now. He's got it. He's been awesome. But there's definitely teamwork involved here.

Captain Kim [: 00:14:07

Yeah, well, the military definitely sets you up for healthiness in that everything's subject to change on a moment's notice.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:14:13

Absolutely.

Captain Kim [: 00:14:16

But I do want to give you great respect in taking care of yourself first. I heard you say you wake up every morning and make sure you get to the gym, which I'm sure you know what, you tell me what that does for you.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:14:30

That is my sanity, for sure. And I think I've always been enjoyed physical fitness, physical activity and a challenge. So I need that time in the morning where I can work hard, where I can sweat and get my mind ready for the day. And definitely there are the days where it is just too early. A kid was up all night, I didn't sleep well, and I am like, oh, my gosh, I'm not going to make it to the gym this morning. And then I immediately regret it. So I need my gym time in the morning and I love it. It's early, but what you find, I think when you're an early gym person like that, you find the other gym, early gym people, and you get to know each other, and then you have this little kind of crew that shows up that early in the morning and you motivate and push each other.

Captain Kim [: 00:15:10

I like that.

Captain Kim [: 00:15:11

So I love that you do that for yourself. And tell us, though, because I know before you've had some, like, adversity with your first marriage, you said it was a very abusive marriage. Can you tell us a little bit about that? And then led you into learning how to pick a more healthier partner and.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:15:33

Yeah, yeah, first married. Got right, got married very young, had my first three children. Kind of boom, boom, boom. Also still very young. And I was in a very emotionally abusive marriage at the time. And I knew I needed to get out of it, but I was really struggling to get out. A counselor, look at me. She was actually our marriage counselor, and we had a counseling session that had ended.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:15:56

He walked out, and she looked at me, and she said, why are you doing this? Why are you staying? And I said, I don't want my kids to come from a broken home. And she said, it's better for kids to come from a broken home than to live in a broken home. And that was it. That was the light bulb moment for me. That was what I needed to hear to say, I have to get out of this. And I did, and it was terrifying. I had recently submitted, just before we fully separated, I submitted a voluntary resignation to get out of the Marine Corps because he wanted me to be a stay at home mom. I think that plays into the wanting me to be financially dependent on him and a little bit of the control factor there.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:16:36

So I was staring my resignation and my eas in the face and being a single mom, and I had no idea what I was gonna do or how I was gonna survive financially. And again, the Marine Corps took care of me in that instance. The commands that I was working for at the time, they knew me, they knew my situation, and they essentially said, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna transfer to the reserves. You're gonna join this unit. We're gonna get you back on active duty orders. And created very little break in my job and financial security. So I did get out.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:17:12

I went into the reserves. I spent, I think it was about six years in the reserves. I was activated the vast majority of that time on active duty orders. And then I eventually did a return to active duty in 2019, where I came back into the active component full time.

Captain Kim [: 00:17:27

You're so brave.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:17:29

Thank you. I appreciate it. I found that I've been on both sides, right? I got out. I did the reserve thing. I did have a civilian job for a short period of time, and I just realized that I love the Marine Corps mainly because I love Marines. I absolutely love working with Marines, leading Marines. It is absolutely what I was called to do, and it's my passion.

Captain Kim [: 00:17:52

I know you are very successful in your role. Now, did you find any difficulties climbing the ranks as a woman?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:18:01

I don't know that I would say no. I don't know that I found any difficulties climbing the ranks as a female in the Marine Corps. I will say that my struggles with not knowing if I would ever make it to this point in my career stemmed from the fact that during my very toxic first marriage, we had a domestic incidents where police showed up, and I ended up getting arrested for domestic assault. And I was not willing to press charges against my spouse at the time because I was afraid of what would happen to my kids if we were both arrested. And that significantly impacted my career. I actually was, at the time, selected for captain, but I was removed from the captain selection list. I recompeted for captain and was again removed from the captain selection list. And I went through a very, very long process to fight for my promotion to captain and to appeal the decisions that had been made.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:19:01

And it was a two year struggle and a two year battle of trying to fight for myself and prove that I was worthy to get promoted, and I was successful in doing so. And at the same time, I will always kind of had that hanging over me. So that's where having that experience, and that's a. In my record. Knowing that every time a promotion or an opportunity came up that that information was visible in my military record, I've always been worried that I would never get to do the things I wanted to do or get selected for promotion or positions because of that derogatory information in my military record. Again, I'm very thankful and feel very fortunate that that has not held me back. My boss, who's, you know, the assistant commandant of the Marine Corps, took a chance on me, brought me onto his team. The promotion board saw it in my record, took a look at it, and I think my service since that time has proven that that one instance did not define who I am or who I could be as a Marine.

Captain Kim [: 00:20:05

Yeah. Wow. I love hearing that because. So, I'm a counselor for veterans, and a lot of people face adversity, and they end up getting out, unfortunately, and it kind of hinders their career. And so I love to hear the perseverance and, like, the success that you've had for being able to move forward from that. Like, that's huge. That had to been so hard.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:20:32

It was, and it was very frustrating at times to feel like I didn't have folks, particularly in my chain of command, in my corner, but I've used it as a learning experience, and I've used it to help others. I just recently had a marine who was one of my marines back at my former command in North Carolina. He had a somewhat similar situation come up where his promotion was in jeopardy. Phenomenal young marine officer. And he was ready to throw his hands in the air, and I was like, nope, we're gonna fight this. And I'm in your corner, and I'm gonna help you fight this. And I just, last month or month before, pinned him on, and I personally got to promote him to the rank of captain, and it was one of the most incredible experiences to be there and to walk that walk with him and to continue to encourage him. There were days where he would come see me, and he's like, ma'am, I'm done.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:21:30

I'm done. I don't have any more fight left in me. And I'm like, I know that's not true. And we fought it. And here he is now a captain in the Marine Corps, and I was able to stand there and be his promoting officer.

Captain Kim [: 00:21:41

Oh, what an amazing story. That's awesome, Kristen.

Captain Kim [: 00:21:45

And I hope you know that's because you showed up for yourself, fought for what you believed in, so you can be there for other people. So I hope you give yourself a beautiful hug every day for choosing you.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:21:59

I'll try. I'll do better.

Captain Kim [: 00:22:02

Okay, so let's hear how you met Joe, your husband?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:22:05

Yes. So, my husband and I met down in North Carolina. It's so weird because I went to college with two of his cousins. One was a year older than me, and one was a year younger than me. And so we had mutual friends through that connection that I had to his cousins from my college time, he was prior enlisted in the Marine Corps, so he graduated college and then enlisted, which is not the standard or traditional path for most people, I think. But because he already had a college degree while he was enlisted, he was selected for a commission. So it's funny because he's fairly junior to me. He pinned on major two years ago, so he still has a ways to go before he'll be looked at for lieutenant colonel, but he's awesome about it.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:22:52

He tells people all the time that I'm senior to him. Orlando. He gives me a lot of props as a Marine. When we're out in town and one of us has something Marine Corps related on, people always will ask him, oh, are you in the Marine Corps? And he stops him, and he's like, yep, my wife is as well, and she outranks me.

Captain Kim [: 00:23:07

Oh, my gosh. How does that feel, to be so supported?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:23:11

It's awesome. It's truly amazing. Like, this man is just. He's incredible in that we met. When we met, I was 30. I was divorced with three very young children, and I was not sure that another marriage was in the works for me, let alone three kids. But that's a whole other. And this man was willing to take on me plus three, and I thank him every day for it.

Captain Kim [: 00:23:35

That's awesome. I'm glad you have that support, because it makes a huge difference.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:23:39

Yeah. And he's great. And I think the other thing that really works with him and our relationship and our family is that he doesn't prioritize his career over mine, and I don't prioritize my career over his. You know, we look at where we both are, and we figure out what we need to do for each other to make it work. I just got promoted, so I'm kind of over one hump. He's got a couple more years to get promoted. So at this point, my focus goes to, okay, what do we need to do next for your career? To make sure that you're doing what you need to do to get promoted or to be competitive for promotion. So, again, there's just a lot of ebb and flow and teamwork involved in our relationship and making sure that we're both supporting each other's career paths.

Captain Kim [: 00:24:25

Oh, well, I just wanted to ask, is there anything else that really stands out to you about your career or anything that you want to share with us?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:24:34

I think just in terms of a military career in general, it can be daunting. Anybody that's been in knows it can be daunting. I insist on having fun at work. I insist on it. I can't go to work and be miserable. My office jokes that I have too much pizzazz. That's what they like to say.

Captain Kim [: 00:24:56

Wait, they don't put a pillowcase on your head at work, do they?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:24:59

No, they don't. But I insist on being upbeat and happy. And you know what? When you're all in the suck together, that's almost when it's the most fun, because I think the naval academy kind of set me up for that. Right. Your freshman year, does it suck? Yes. But you're all in the suck together, so you figure out ways to entertain yourself and have fun, enjoy the moment, even if it's sucky.

Captain Kim [: 00:25:28

Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:25:30

Were you ever deployed?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:25:31

No, not formally. To, like, Iraq or Afghanistan. That was an interesting time because I was back to back to back having my first three children, so I was kind of in a non deployable position at the time. And then I got out and went into the reserves as a reservist. I was attached to active duty units, where I was really backfilling for folks, the active duty units that were going forward. I did get, last year, my boss, who at the time was General Smith was the assistant commandant of the Marine Corps last year. He's now the commandant of the Marine Corps. But when I first started working for General Smith, I said, I really wish that I had had had the opportunity in my career to go on a mew, a Marine expeditionary unit.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:26:15

I said, you know, I've never had that opportunity. I don't know that I'll ever get that opportunity. So I'm a little disappointed. And he came out of his office one day, and he was like, hey, I need you to go down to Camp Lejeune and do the helo Dunker training. And I was like, what? Why? And he said, because you're going to go out with the 31st Mew after Christmas. And I was like, 31st Mew in Japan. And he was like, yep, yep, they know you're coming. And he let me leave the office for two months and go out to Japan and hop on the 31st mew just for the experience, the learning experience, the professional development.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:26:49

And because I told him it was something I never did and I wanted to do it, and it was unbelievable to have that kind of leadership and that kind of encouragement, somebody who was willing to sacrifice and lose me in the office for a couple of months so that I could have that experience and that professional development.

Captain Kim [: 00:27:07

Well, tell us about that experience.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:27:09

It was incredible. Absolutely incredible. I'm sure anybody that's listening that's ever been on a mew is like, ah, do a whole one and then tell us how you feel. But it was everything I had hoped it could be in terms of learning and getting to really see and experience operations and planning. I think that I am a type of learner that I learn by doing. I could read it all day long. I could see the PowerPoint. But I'm not going to fully absorb it or understand how it works until I'm in it and I'm living it and I'm experiencing it.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:27:42

So to actually get to go out there and be a part of deployment was unbelievable. And then it was Japan, which was just so cool.

Captain Kim [: 00:27:52

That's awesome. Sounds like a really good experience. I'm glad you had someone that you told them what you wanted, and they advocated for you to get that. That's huge.

Captain Kim [: 00:28:03

And what a fantastic leader. Knowing that he heard you say that, that was one of your regrets, and so he knows you're going to be a better person coming back from that. So losing you for two months to have you become a better you, I want to meet him. He sounds really, really supportive.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:28:23

General Smith, like I said, yep. He's now the commandant of the Marine Corps, and hands down one of the most incredible leaders I've ever had the privilege and opportunity to serve under. Again, to have somebody who. It was one comment. I made the comment. There was no further discussion on it. He heard me. He remembered, and then he took the time to invest in my professional development, all having to sacrifice on his end by not having me in the office for two months.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:28:53

And my team was great and willing to, you know, pick up my slack for a couple of months. But to have leadership like that, it shows that the Marine Corps has an incredible man running the show right now.

Captain Kim [: 00:29:03

Yeah, that's great.

Captain Kim [: 00:29:05

And kudos to you for being so brave, to voice what you wanted and how you felt.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:29:11

Yeah. You know, sometimes it's definitely hard. I think that is one area that I struggle with as a outgoing, independent female marine. I do not like to ask for help or ask for favors. I want to do it all myself. I want to prove myself, and that's an area I struggle with. But I think you miss every shot you don't take. So if you ask, if you tell somebody what you want or what you're hoping, what's the worst that could happen?

Captain Kim [: 00:29:38

Right? Yeah. I love that mentality.

Captain Kim [: 00:29:41

They say no.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:29:42

Right, but then back to square one. Yeah, but they might say yes, and.

Captain Kim [: 00:29:47

You might get to go to Japan.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:29:48

Right.

Captain Kim [: 00:29:51

And then come back a new woman.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:29:53

I did. I really did. I loved Japan. It was the whole experience. It definitely did make me a better officer for sure.

Captain Kim [: 00:30:00

Was the general the one that pinned you? Pinned you for lieutenant colonel.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:30:05

So, again, I'm very fortunate. I still can't believe that I had the opportunity to serve in the billet that I'm currently in, because, again, last year, General Smith was the assistant commandant. He has since become the commandant, and we have a new assistant commandant, General Mahoney. And so I've worked for both of them. I've worked for the. Now the commandant and the assistant commandant of the Marine Corps. And so for my promotion to lieutenant colonel, General Mahoney promoted me. But General Smith pinned on my rank.

Captain Kim [: 00:30:31

Oh, how special.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:30:33

It was very, very special. And I almost felt like I was not worthy for that experience, to have the commandant and the assistant commandant of the Marine Corps at my promotion and involved in my promotion. But they both assured me that they wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Captain Kim [: 00:30:48

Yeah. I think that speaks to who you are. Absolutely.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:30:53

Well, thank you.

Captain Kim [: 00:30:54

Yeah, I want to piggyback on that. Like Kristinyou are. They must love having you there showing up in your true self every day, like your bubbly personality, your love for life, your love, your passion for the military and supporting the mission. And I, your tenacity and showing up with that beautiful smile of yours. They must just love having that energy surrounding them.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:31:21

I hope they do. I think I'm also a little bit of a jokester, so I bring some comedic pranks to the office from time to time. And you have to have that. You have to have that lightheartedness in the midst of all the chaos. But then there's times you just gotta buckle down and you gotta push through. But when we have the opportunity to kick back a little bit and have fun, I'm definitely the first one instigating that.

Captain Kim [: 00:31:46

Can you tell us one of the pranks?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:31:48

Ooh. So two of the pranks, I'll tell you that I pulled on General Smith. We got a really good picture of General Smith mid conversation, and he was, like, doing these finger guns. And so I took the picture and I printed it out, and I had it laid into a. It was actually a real news article about a Florida man who tried to rob a bank with finger guns. And we laid that picture in, and I framed it and put it in his office, and I just left it there to see how long it would take for him to notice it. And he appreciated it. Another time, I don't remember why, but he did something back to me, and then I filled his drawers with fake cockroaches.

Captain Kim [: 00:32:35

How fun.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:32:37

We still find them from time to time around the audience.

Captain Kim [: 00:32:43

So how we usually close up our podcast is, we ask, what advice do you have for women in the military? Either currently in the military or thinking about joining the military.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:32:54

Any advice I have for women in the military, I think for my biggest thing for women in the military, those particularly that are currently serving, is one advocate for yourself. And especially when it comes to medical stuff, like, don't take no for an answer. If you think there's something going on or you're not happy with the care that you're getting, continue to advocate for yourself. And if that means you need help from more senior service members to help advocate for you and with your medical team, do that. Your health, whether it's physical, mental, like your health, is so important, don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. I think the other thing I would make sure that I get asked by a lot of female Marines how I do it, how I do it as an active duty mom, dual mill spouse with six kids, and they say they want to start a family, but they're not sure how they're going to do it. And I'm a huge advocate of the reserves being able. I think my time as a single mom when I was in the reserves, it saved me.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:33:58

It saved me because it gave me a level of job security, but it also. It gave me that flexibility to be able to have a family. But still, there's different options when it comes to the reserves. You can go on active duty orders, you can join in the Marine Corps, an imadet or an SMCR unit. You know, there's. There's a lot of options that give you that flexibility to not fully hang up your uniform for good, but to take it off for a little bit until you're ready to put it back on and that opportunity exists. You can still work towards military retirement, you can still transfer your GI benefits to your children, but it's not the full active, day to day commitment that the active component requires. And I think a lot of females just think, well, I'm going to get out because I want to have a family.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:34:49

But the reserves are a really, really good option if they're wanting to potentially still do both.

Captain Kim [: 00:34:55

Yeah. Well, thank you for that advice, and thank you for joining us today and sharing your story.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:35:01

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you again so much for having me. It's been an honor and a pleasure. It's great to see you again, Kim.

Captain Kim [: 00:35:08

Great to see you too. I have one last question for you. If they have another military version of american ninja warrior, will you go on?

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:35:18

Oh, for sure. Oh, for sure. No questions asked. My kids were so young when I did it that they don't really have a memory of it, but they know that I was on the show, so they're like, mom, you should do it again. I'm in the process of recovering from ACL reconstruction, but I am determined to get back to 100%, if not better. And if there's another opportunity for a military episode of Ninja Warrior will be applying.

Captain Kim [: 00:35:45

Okay, Dakota and I will start working on that and we will see you there.

Kristin Tortorici [: 00:35:50

Sounds good.

Captain Kim [: 00:35:55

Thank you for tuning into Dog Tag Diaries. We appreciate your willingness to listen and engage with these stories as we understand the challenge that comes with sharing and hearing them. Your support in witnessing the experience of our military women is invaluable. These stories are meant to inspire and provide meaning, and we hope they can help you find your own voice as well.

Captain Kim [: 00:36:19

If you or anyone you know are in need of immediate help, call the crisis line by dialing 988, then press one. There are resources available to help and provide guidance during difficult times. Please visit our website, www.reveilleandretreatproject.org to learn more about the Revelation retreat project, including upcoming retreats for military women and resources. The link is in the show notes we'll be here again next Wednesday. Keep finding the hope, the healing and the power in community.