Grit, Laughter, and Legacy: Amanda Mae’s Story of Military Resilience and Joy -58

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Captain Kim [: 00:00:04

They said she'd never do anything worthwhile because she didn't take life seriously. Twenty years in the Air Force, four marathons and three national anthems later, Amanda May has made a career of proving people wrong. From a farm girl with big grit to the founder of the Women Veteran Calendar, she's here to tell the unfiltered truth about military life, legacy, and the joy that comes from honoring women. If you're a woman in uniform, past, present or future, or someone who wants to understand what true grit looks like, this is a must hear conversation. Welcome to season five of Dog Tag Diaries, where the untold stories of military women take center stage. I'm your host, Captain Kim, and we are in our fifth season. Five seasons of truth, grit, laughter, healing, and connection to every storyteller who shared a piece of their soul and every listener who's walked alongside us. Thank you.

Captain Kim [: 00:01:09

You're the reason this podcast has grown into a movement. Let's keep breaking silence, building community, and amplifying the voices that deserve to be heard. Let's dive in. Today's guest on Dog Tag Diaries is Amanda Mae, Air Force veteran marathon runner and singer of three national anthems, and the creative force behind the Woman Veteran calendar. From growing up poor on a farm to serving 20 years in the United States Air Force, Amanda's story is one of grit, humor and deep dedication. You'll hear how military service shaped her values, what it means to be part of a wildly unpredictable family in uniform, and how she turned one doubter's words into a lifelong motivation to serve and uplift others. Her story will make you laugh, reflect, and maybe even tear up a little. Welcome, Amanda, to Dog Tag Diaries.

Amanda Mae [: 00:02:10

Thank you for having me. Hi.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:13

Hi. So, you know, we always start with how you were as a child. So let's hear how you were as little Amanda. Where you grew up, how you grew up, your family life, all of it.

Amanda Mae [: 00:02:27

Yes. So I grew up in Massachusetts on a chicken farm, and it was a lot of hard work, and I didn't really care for that a lot. I was. I didn't want to be feeding chickens all the time. I wanted to be goofing off and playing, and I was probably a little annoying, if we're being honest.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:48

Did you have a lot of brothers and sisters?

Amanda Mae [: 00:02:51

Well, not a lot, but I was a middle child, so that probably explains a lot.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:58

Say no more. You and I, middle children.

Amanda Mae [: 00:03:03

Middle child and a Leo, which is like. That's cruel. Right? Middle children shouldn't have to be Leos or vice versa. There's Gotta be a better way, right?

Captain Kim [: 00:03:10

You're already trying to get the spotlight. I'm a Leo, too. I know you're already trying to get the spotlight. You're wild and like the middle child. Come on.

Amanda Mae [: 00:03:23

Yeah, they set us up for failure. Yep. So I would always try to make people around me laugh, and I would come up with my own jokes, which, when you're six or seven, they're not funny. You're not funny. I got really good at making a pig noise. Do you want to hear it? It can be a sound bite for later. Okay.

Amanda Mae [: 00:03:48

That was the one time my mom encouraged me to be funny. She said, well, that's really good. You should keep doing that so you don't forget. I was like, oh, thanks, Mom. You want to hear a joke? And she said, no. Oh, the stiffer pigments. You're not funny. Just do animal noises.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:03

Grew up on the farm. Can you do a chicken, too?

Amanda Mae [: 00:04:06

Oh, I can do all kinds of chickens every day, Girl. We had over 100 chickens, ducks, geese, quail. Oh, my gosh. So going into the military and going to basic training and eating before we did anything else, I was like, oh, hell, yeah. This is. This is awesome.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:28

And you were in the Air Force?

Amanda Mae [: 00:04:30

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:31

Didn't you get little cozy accommodations?

Amanda Mae [: 00:04:35

That's what they say. I don't know.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:39

Okay, so you're on this farm in Massachusetts. The middle child, Leo. And how are your mom and dad?

Amanda Mae [: 00:04:49

So my parents were divorced, and I had blended family, so maybe that was another reason I was lashing out, trying to be entertaining. But it was. The poor thing was the biggest thing for me. I was like, I got to get the Blankety Blank out of here. I don't know if we're allowed to swear, but.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:07

Yeah, you are. You are. I want you to be you. Yeah.

Amanda Mae [: 00:05:10

Okay, then it was definitely, I got to get the fuck out of here. From a very young age, you just.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:17

Knew there was something bigger for you or you just wanted something bigger.

Amanda Mae [: 00:05:21

Well, honestly, my grandma was a big part of my upbringing, and she lost her only brother in World War II. This actually today is the anniversary of when he was killed in action, which is pretty crazy.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:35

Oh, dear.

Amanda Mae [: 00:05:36

Yeah. So it's not an oh, dear, really. It's more of a. I try to live every day honestly. And I know that sounds really cheesy, but I try to live every day in a way that would make him proud. And I know that's super cheesy, but my grandma raised me to believe and appreciate that. Like, you're not an American because of anything great that you did, you won a lottery being born in the United States. And you owe it to your ancestors, you owe it to your family to do what you can for your country and be a good person whether you serve or not.

Amanda Mae [: 00:06:07

Just don't be a dick. And so I was in the VFW as a kid. I was in the auxiliary to the vfw and that was another big part. I was like, okay, I'm poor. I don't have a lot of options. And Uncle Harry serves in the military. My grandfather served in the military, my uncle. So I think that's what I need to do.

Captain Kim [: 00:06:25

Oh, my God. Well, first of all, I love your grandma's words of wisdom because it really does make you think about that. You're absolutely right. We are born in the United States. That is like, we won the lottery. Thank you for reminding us that.

Amanda Mae [: 00:06:39

Well, she was an amazing lady. She was an amazing patriot, and she had a lot of hard earned wisdom. Because that generation, they lived through the Great Depression, like, literally sharing a can of peas for dinner. Like, I can't even imagine.

Captain Kim [: 00:06:53

No. Okay. So then you said that you went into the military. What kind of influenced you hanging out at the VFW and the auxiliary units and.

Amanda Mae [: 00:07:02

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I just wanted to get the hell out of Dodge. I wanted to. At first. I said, okay, I'm going to go active duty and go to school. But something they don't tell you about being poor is poor people don't always do their taxes on time. And if you don't have your taxes done, you can't get federal student aid. So when I got back from basic training, I was only going to be in the reserve.

Amanda Mae [: 00:07:28

And I got back from basic training and UMass Amherst said, We'd love to have you, but you don't have any FAFSA funding. And I said, you know what? Fuck this. I'll just go active duty. I already love the Air Force. Just let me go active duty. So that was quite a transition because I was an E3. You know how they give you all the bells and whistles when you're reserved? They're like, yeah, it doesn't matter. Go ahead.

Amanda Mae [: 00:07:48

You can be an E3. So I had E3. I did my upgrade training, and then I told my recruiter, I was like, you know what? I want to go active duty. Can we do that? And he said, yeah, talk to your commander because they have to release you. So first weekend, going into my drill unit. Oh, okay. In process, meet the commander. I walk in meet my colonel.

Amanda Mae [: 00:08:11

And I sit down, she goes, so, hey, welcome back from basic training. What do you think? And I said, oh, man, I love it so much, I want to go active duty. And her jaw dropped. And she goes, you couldn't even give me a year?

Captain Kim [: 00:08:24

We need the numbers. We need to retain our soldiers.

Amanda Mae [: 00:08:30

Everybody's hurting for numbers. Well, it did take about a year. So I did my upgrade training. 911 happens. And I got the call nine or ten months later, my recruiter said, okay, here's the deal. Because you're not a fresh recruit at that point. So it's like they're doing you a favor by taking you on active duty. So he said, here's the deal, E2, you have to stay in the job you're in, and it's a four year enlistment.

Amanda Mae [: 00:08:54

I said, I don't really. I don't love the job. It's just medical admin. Like, could I maybe do a different job? He said, no. I said, okay, what if I did six years and went back to basic training? Like, I'll do anything. He said, no, make it or leave it. E2. Four years Health Administration.

Amanda Mae [: 00:09:10

Do you want it or not? I was like, I want it. Okay, let's do this. And I shipped off to Andrews Air Force base.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:18

Oh, my God. Okay, well, where did you do your first basic?

Amanda Mae [: 00:09:23

So all the basic for the air force is at Lackland.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:26

Oh, I did not know that.

Amanda Mae [: 00:09:27

But they treat you differently when you're just guard or reserve. They're like, yeah, you don't matter. And then you go to ait. I think you guys call it tech school for us. So in tech school, I was Billy Badass. I had my green rope, which, remember as a middle child and a Leo, I was like, hello, everyone. Green rope in the house. Students.

Amanda Mae [: 00:09:50

Yeah, I was hot. Then I got humbled real quick.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:56

Oh, yeah, well, you went back to Massachusetts then, right, to do your reserves?

Amanda Mae [: 00:10:01

Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:02

Told your commander I'm out.

Amanda Mae [: 00:10:05

Probably not the best introduction in retrospect, but it was cool because while I was waiting, I got tapped on the shoulder and asked to join the honor guard because I was such a hot shit little asshole. You know the type. They're fresh off of basic and tech school and they're like, they got everything pressed and they walk like this with their shoulders one at a time and stand at attention at the water fountain, you know, so. So they were like, hey, hey, hotness, you want to join the honor guard? I was like, you bet I do. I'm here to serve my country, do funerals and flag details. So that was a lot of fun. And I got to kind of be full time before I was active duty, so got my man days accrued and everything. So my two 14s are really messed up because I have one from the reserve, and then I have one from active duty, and it says like, 20 years and some change.

Amanda Mae [: 00:10:53

And then I got another one that's like a year and six months and 30 hours. I don't know. But I got two 14s for days.

Captain Kim [: 00:11:04

I have that, too. Similar things. Oh, my gosh. We're more similar than we think. Okay, I can't wait to hear the rest because I feel like this is going to be quite the story. So you go on active duty as medical administration?

Amanda Mae [: 00:11:19

Yes. Okay, here's the thing. God has a sense of humor, and again, he will humble you if you are 19 years old and you think that your shit doesn't stink. So while I was in the reserve, of course, I had to do my two weeks of active duty. And on that trip, we went to Langley, and because we are medical admin, we went to outpatient records. And I was working in outpatient records with the airmen that were stationed there. And we're like scanning folders. And this is before everything went electronic.

Amanda Mae [: 00:11:50

Right. So you had to manually take the 600 form or whatever form from your doctor visit. You had to manually visually search for the medical record. Open up. They had these winding things for the shelves. You had to find the person's medical record and file it in the right section. All this just trivial minutia, boring nonsense. Like, it's like the dmc.

Amanda Mae [: 00:12:15

Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:12:15

It doesn't feel like it fits your personality at all.

Amanda Mae [: 00:12:19

Here's where I messed up. I said, this is what you guys do all day? And these two airmen that looked like they had already given up on ever having fun, they looked up at me like, slouched, and they were like, yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, I could never do this full time. Oh. And then I went active duty, and I had to eat my words. They put me right into records. They were like, oh, new fresh meat, huh? There you go. Go work in records.

Captain Kim [: 00:12:51

Did you have to stay there for all four years?

Amanda Mae [: 00:12:54

No, actually, I got to deploy in less than six months because I was one of the only people who had done their upgrade training. So that was kind of a blessing. I was the only E2 you've ever met that had their 5 level. And at the time, they were building Al Udeid Air Base, so If you can imagine Al Udeid as just tent city, your old heads will remember it called Camp Andy. And they were building the CENTCOM headquarters. They had all these jersey barriers everywhere, and we had to watch the host nation or other country. They call them OCNs now, but we call them TCNs because we gotta change up the acronyms. So that was my first deployment, and I was 20 years old.

Amanda Mae [: 00:13:36

I turned 21 out there. Wow. It was fun. Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:13:41

What did they do for you? What did you do out there?

Amanda Mae [: 00:13:44

That was my first taste of being a team leader. And as an E2, again, very humbling. And it was a great experience because Those senior airmen E4s were quick to tell me that I was not hot shit. And in fact, I wasn't shit at all. That was also my first sexual assault. I don't know how heavy we want to get into that, but we want to.

Captain Kim [: 00:14:10

I mean, as heavy as you want to, because I think it's important for you to feel comfortable. But also the listeners, if they've gone through something similar, they know they're not alone. So whatever you feel. Feel the most comfortable with.

Amanda Mae [: 00:14:24

Okay, so I'll try to give you the short version because I know we've only got so much time, but it's freaking hot in Qatar. And we had our DCU jackets off because it's about 110, 120 degrees out there. And the TCNs, OCNs had been on a lunch break. Now, I gotta go back a little bit because we would show up to our shop every morning, and your listeners who have done this duty might be familiar, but if people aren't, basically, you show up at the same place every morning and you get assigned to your post, Right. And for the females, they would try to make sure that we were A, never alone, and B, that we always had a male with us. So they assigned the teams and made sure there was always a male with usually two females. Because the people that units volunteered were like, ah, take our females. We don't need them.

Captain Kim [: 00:15:15

So we had anyways disregarded again.

Amanda Mae [: 00:15:21

So I'm on a team with a male E5 and a female E3, and I'm a little E2. And when we went to the gate that morning to pick up our team, our workers for the day, whatever you call them, they said, oh, we're working at two different sites today, which is not the norm. Normally they would all stay together and we would watch them together, but today they were splitting off. And so our NCO said, all right, at least you two stay together and I will go off with the other folks. And we said, okay, that makes sense. So we're sitting in our little Toyota or Ford, whatever, those tiny little trucks are just killing the ac, trying to stay cool. But the rule is you have to always have your eyes on them. You have to be watching them, making sure they're not taking notes or doing anything shady.

Amanda Mae [: 00:16:12

So I do a head count as they're taking lunch, and I realize we're missing one. And so I tell my coworker, I say, okay, I'm going to go into this empty, abandoned, creepy looking building and see if he's in there. It wasn't creepy, it was just. They were still building it. So it was just a shell of a building, you know? So I go in there and this guy is sitting in a folding chair, like literally just sitting there doing nothing. Sitting in. I get it, you want to be in the shade. Maybe that's why he was in there.

Amanda Mae [: 00:16:39

And I say to him from the doorway, I say, hey, you got to be outside where we can see you. And he just nods, doesn't say anything. I'm like, you, I'm pointing at him, you need to go outside, please. You know, trying to do sign language. He's still not getting it. He just smiles at me. So I walk over to him and I say, sir, you need to go outside. And I'm pointing and I'm like leaning in and then leaning back, trying to gesture like, I'm sorry, I don't, I don't even know what language they speak in your country.

Amanda Mae [: 00:17:14

I'm trying to be respectful, but there is not a lot of respect for women out there. And I did not realize the extent to which that was true until I was in this situation. And you never know how you're gonna react to a situation. This is what I wanna foot stomp is. It is so easy to judge. And you just don't know how you're gonna react to a situation until you're in it. And there's the fight or flight or freeze. And girl, I froze.

Amanda Mae [: 00:17:44

Yeah, that man took out his ID and handed it to me. And I'm reading it and all I remember is he was from Pakistan. And I'm like, oh, that's nice. Yeah, nice to meet you. And he extended his other hand to shake my hands. And part of our OSI briefing when we first got there was, females don't have the same rights here, so you never initiate those kind of things. But if somebody gives you their hand, you better shake their Hand and be respectful and keep relations, you know, whatever. So I was like, oh, shit.

Amanda Mae [: 00:18:17

Okay, we're shaking hands. We're shaking hands, and it starts to get awkward because we're still shaking hands, and it's like the spongebob slide, like, five minutes later. It wasn't that long, but, girl, it felt like forever. And he was not letting go. And so I was like, okay, I'm just going to pull my hand away, right? So I start trying to pull my hand away, and his hands comes off right as my hand is passing my breast, and he just lands his hand on there and gets a good old handful. And that's when I froze because I was like, oh, my God, am I about to get like, what is happening? Yeah. And I look at his face like, what is this? And he looks at me, and he's nodding and smiling, and he's like, ah. And that's when I sniffed out of it, and I ran out of that building, and I was so upset.

Amanda Mae [: 00:19:09

And of course, like, I get back in the truck and I tell my coworker, and she calls in and she says, we need an NCO here, please. We need this guy. And I don't remember if she said over the radio, but of course, we had to tell our flight chief what had happened. So at the end of the day, they also do a huddle. You know, you come in together at the beginning of the day, you leave together at the end of the day. So he had a huddle. Our crusty old tech sergeant, E6 flight chief, who probably didn't work with a lot of women. The announcement he made to the group was, all right, everybody, from now on, you have to keep your whole uniform on, including the jackets, because one of our females got groped today.

Amanda Mae [: 00:19:50

Oh, yeah. It became the rumor mill. Like, who was that girl? Oh, my God, that's so stupid. I would never let that happen to me. Oh, my God. How dumb do you have to be? Blah, blah, blah. And it hurts. It hurts.

Amanda Mae [: 00:20:03

And I don't have to go into the other stuff that I dealt with. I mean, there's. I dealt with more severe stuff later on in my career. But even that first experience as an E2, seeing the victim blaming and the way stuff gets turned around on you, it sent a very clear message that you do not always have allies. You can't always report and feel safe and protected. And I think that's something that our military is still trying to turn around to this day.

Captain Kim [: 00:20:32

Yeah, I have to agree with you. I mean, if you felt supported in that, I mean, I think that would have shaped you totally different. And your military experience, like you said, you ran into other stuff later on, which maybe we'll get to. You're right. We don't have that a lot of time. But, gosh, it's so interesting because, like you said, these things are still happening in the military, and, gosh, just one little change from unsupported to supported will change everything. And so how do you feel like that shaped the rest of your time there?

Amanda Mae [: 00:21:09

That's a great question. I think it made me a lot more guarded and, well, honestly, it made me kind of want to crawl into a hole for a good few weeks. And I think that that's a really common reaction, especially when you don't feel supported. You just feel like, oh, my God, not only is it embarrassing, but you are literally all alone out there. You do not have a support system. And the people that you were told are your support system now, they don't want anything to do with you. They blame you. They think you're dumb.

Amanda Mae [: 00:21:42

They've got all this. I would have, could have, should have.

Captain Kim [: 00:21:44

They make a mockery. It sounds like it was. They were making a mockery of you.

Amanda Mae [: 00:21:49

Whether they knew it was me or not. I think by the end of the tour, everybody knew it was me. I don't know how long that took, but, you know, good news travels fast, right?

Captain Kim [: 00:21:58

Yes, it does.

Amanda Mae [: 00:22:00

But, you know, I think it shaped me as a supervisor and a leader as well, because I wanted to make sure that I always provided a safe space for my folks. And it was also something I want to hit on because it's something you talked about in the intro is like being funny and being joyful after you've gone through so much in your life is a choice. I had to make a conscious decision to come out of that hole and come out of that dark place and to really be the version of myself that I wanted to be, which is to find joy in the everyday stuff and still try to be funny and make people laugh and make pig noises and be silly. I think once you've gone through some difficult, challenging situations, you can choose to let them define you, or you can choose to still define yourself in spite of that. And I think that's my form of defiance and resilience. Like, I'm still gonna be silly and I'm not gonna look like what I've been through.

Captain Kim [: 00:23:01

I love that you chose that, because anyone that knows you and I've only known you a short time and followed you on Instagram. But you are so joyful and expressive and you can just feel it through your pictures. And I love the women Veterans calendar and we will get to that. But just through all of that too. I could tell you want other women to feel what you're feeling. You want them to choose that joy and that just to be them to let it all out. And I love that. So as you climb the ranks, that joy that you chose and providing that safe space, how did that impact your command, your soldiers?

Amanda Mae [: 00:23:46

I think when you are a woman in the military, it is easy for people to underestimate you and it is easy for people to dismiss you, especially if you are the kind of person.

Amanda Mae [: 00:24:04

Who'S always trying to make other people smile and keep the vibe and the atmosphere light. There's a perception, and I don't quite understand why there's a perception that you've never been singled out on your first employment and made to feel like a complete idiot or you've never grew up on a farm, you know, under extenuating circumstances. So it was frustrating for me because people would underestimate me and that's fine, but they would treat me differently. They didn't want to involve me in decision making For a long time. As an NCO, coming up the ranks and then my senior leaders, I felt like they didn't always have confidence or faith in me, even though I had delivered time after time after time, like, you give me an assignment, I'm going to not only complete it, I'm going to complete it 110%. And that was on my performance reports. My performance reports were always five to cross the board. Passed on my PT test, never had an issue, but I was overlooked.

Amanda Mae [: 00:25:08

And I can only assume because they thought that I was goofy and didn't take stuff seriously, whatever. So it was frustrating. But it wasn't so frustrating that I had some kind of major epiphany and said, well, I'm going to change my whole personality to fit in with this. It was. That was never a question for me. I was like, well, they don't understand. Fuck em. You know.

Captain Kim [: 00:25:28

I love that you didn't conform. I love that because so many people do, including myself.

Amanda Mae [: 00:25:37

I probably would have made more rank if I had, but it's okay. Sorry.

Captain Kim [: 00:25:46

So you did 22 years. What made you do 22 years? And then what made you decide to get out of the military?

Amanda Mae [: 00:25:56

So it's 22. Cumulatively, I can tell you the active duty part is exactly 20 years and not a minute more because they med Boarded your girl at 18 and a half years. And I was like, is this a joke? Like, we all know once you get over that 10 year Humphrey, you are trying to make it to 20, you've got a goal. Especially this was back in the day when it was high three. So, you know, my doctor said, oh, we're going to do an IRA low. Don't worry. And I said, okay. That's the prelude to a med board.

Amanda Mae [: 00:26:28

Literally means initial review in lieu of a med board. And that came back and they said, oh, no, you should do a whole med board. And I was like, all right, doc, I won't say I told you so. And so it was. Thankfully that happened during COVID So I just kept appealing and fighting to stay in to hit my 20 mark. And I made it. But, yeah, they med boarded your girl out for migraines. It was forced reduction.

Amanda Mae [: 00:26:56

You know, it's hard to not take it personally, but I think a lot of people, when you get out, as a veteran, when you get out and you really find your calling, it's so refreshing to have that next chapter of your life and be able to say, like, you know what? They just didn't recognize my greatness and that's okay. That's on them. And now I'm living my best life. I'm still serving a purpose larger than myself, and I am really loving life. I don't have to force it through the hard days and deal with a toxic work environment, trying to still make jokes and make people laugh like, I'm truly happy and love in life and that's pretty awesome.

Captain Kim [: 00:27:37

Oh, I could tell Amanda. I could tell. And let's talk about that transition. So reintegrating back into society. But then you found your passion. Talk about it.

Amanda Mae [: 00:27:48

So I live in Mill City, usa, which is a trademark for San Antonio. No other city can say that about themselves. Sorry, guys. Oh, but we are the only one. So I was excited to be retiring there because I was like, okay, these are my people. I can go to the vfw, I can go wherever and I can say I'm a veteran. And people are going to be like, yeah, this is where you belong. And I tried that.

Amanda Mae [: 00:28:15

And the funny thing is, when you're a woman, it doesn't always go that way. And even when you park at Lowe's in the veteran parking, it may not seem like a big deal, but when you're a woman, you can't take this mask off. You can't take the boobs off at the end of the day. Like, you're a woman 24 7, and people treat you differently. They look down on you. They doubt your military service. And, you know, like, I kind of want to fight people when they don't understand that I'm a veteran. I'm like, listen, I've been in Iraq.

Amanda Mae [: 00:28:50

Do you want to hear about my ptsd? Do you want to hear about my nightmares? We can share. Like, we can go drink together. Like, it just. It makes this anger bubble up inside me that I have to keep under control. And I had to really ask myself why it bothered me so much when people didn't recognize me as a veteran. And it has nothing to do with wanting to be thanked for your service. Oh, thank you for your service. No, it's not.

Amanda Mae [: 00:29:15

It. It's something deeper than that. It's. I gave 20 of the best years of my life to a higher calling. I continued a legacy of my uncle who was killed in action and my grandfather's, and fulfilled my grandmother's dream of me joining. You know, like, it's so much deeper than that. And so for people to be dismissive about our service just because we're women, that may be a microaggression or just a failure on their part to understand that women serve too. But it really does chip away at your mental health as a woman, or for me, it did.

Amanda Mae [: 00:29:50

And that's. It just kind of turned around in my brain for a few weeks and months, and I found my people online instead of in person. I found women veteran groups online. And one day, one of the girls said, man, I'm trying to set up a photo shoot out here in Florida. And, boy, I wish we could all do a photo shoot together. And I said, hang on. What if we had a woman veteran calendar? And that was it. That was the original group.

Amanda Mae [: 00:30:20

We started a group. We have almost 3,000 girls in there now.

Amanda Mae [: 00:30:24

We're working on our.

Captain Kim [: 00:30:25

That's how it was born.

Amanda Mae [: 00:30:26

That was it. That was it. And now we do events in San Antonio, and I collaborate with a lot of other nonprofits in San Antonio, especially the ones that recognize and honor women veterans, and especially the ones that try to do specific things for women veterans, because we are a small demographic, and we are underrepresented at the VA by 50%. The VA thinks that about 50% of women are not enrolled getting their VA disability and benefits. And we are also the fastest growing demographic in suicides and homelessness.

Captain Kim [: 00:30:59

Alert, alert, alert. Right. So there needs to be more outreach and collaboration in getting these military women together.

Amanda Mae [: 00:31:10

I mean, those are our people. You know, like, when you're in the military, you probably go home and kick off your boots and you say, God, I can't stand that freaking private. What a jerk. You know, what a joker, what a clown. And, oh, my freaking Brussels a flag Chief. I don't know, battalion, whatever. God, what a douche. You know, you might hate their guts, but they're still there for you.

Amanda Mae [: 00:31:34

That's still your community, whether you like it or not. And when you get out and you have no community, you have no support system, and then you try to go to the VFW or something, and they say, oh, did your husband serve? It would be real easy for us to just turn tail, walk away, and just never leave our house. And we have to fight that urge, and we have to say no. We're going to find each other. We're going to lift each other up, we're going to empower each other. We're going to celebrate our sisters. And it's not about, hey, guys, I want to be thanked for my service. It's not that.

Amanda Mae [: 00:32:08

It's about acknowledging what we did for ourselves and honoring the women that served before us and inspiring the next generation, helping along the women that are still in the military and providing mentorship and resources to them so that hopefully they don't have to go through that dark blip between service and getting out.

Captain Kim [: 00:32:33

I love your message. I absolutely love your message. And I want to hear how the woman veterans calendar really just transformed and what you feel when you, you know, get a message in your Instagram and asking, like, what is this about? How can I be part of it?

Amanda Mae [: 00:32:53

It's very reassuring that we're on the right track, and I love that we have always had more models than we needed, because it has never been about me. I learned as a middle child that it's not about me. So I just want the family to succeed. So when people join and people reach out and ask about us, it's just really nice to know that we're on the right track and we're helping people. And a lot of women veterans have said, like, oh, this is great. I love the representation. I love that we have calendars in classrooms and offices around the world, around the country. We started doing events as well, and one of the best compliments I got, well, all of our events are awesome.

Amanda Mae [: 00:33:36

But we had a dining out, which we're going to do every year in honor of Women Veterans Day, and that was amazing. We had the grog and everything. People had a blast. But one of the first events we did was a vision board workshop back in January. And it was just something that we said, you know, let's get people out of their houses if they want to get together, and we'll just bring our arts and crafts and people can come out. The VFW let us use their space. And so it was a free workshop. Bring your own poster board.

Amanda Mae [: 00:34:08

And I got some extra stuff. And so we had everything set up. The women veterans of San Antonio were also there with me. And as people came in, you know, I would take their name and show them around. And one girl came in and I said, hey, are you here to do a vision board? You know, here's this, here's that, blah, blah, blah. Would you like to come sit with us and make a vision board? And she said, well, I wasn't sure if I was going to stay. I wanted to come in and see if it passed the vibe check. So I'm going to go get myself out of my car and I'm going to stay.

Amanda Mae [: 00:34:40

And that just made my whole day. We passed the vibe check.

Captain Kim [: 00:34:47

That's a big deal. That's a big deal. Because we are hesitant when we go into a group of military women and you're like, oh, is this. Am I going to be accepted? Is this even my vibe? Is this going to be petty? Or is this really going to feed my soul? So if you just give it a chance, too, I feel like after what military women have gone through, it will end up feeding your soul. Because what I found is most of them are very inviting and just want that camaraderie. Just want to have someone there to tell stories with and exchange energy and build that community. Okay, so how do women find and apply to be in this calendar?

Amanda Mae [: 00:35:31

I get asked a lot how people can support the woman veteran calendar. And you don't have to be in San Antonio to support the women veteran calendar. Everything is online on woman with an a veterancalendar.com and there's lots of ways you can support. There is an option right now to pre order our wall calendar or planner. And of course, when you're buying, that you're supporting, because all of our proceeds go to nonprofits that support women veterans. For the 2026 calendar, our community has voted and selected the women veterans of San Antonio and Grace After Fire to be the recipients of our 2026 calendar sales donations. So when you buy a wall calendar or a planner, 100% of the proceeds are going to those organizations. And as a woman veteran, if you want to join our community, our group is on Facebook and that is the group wherein we vote on the organizations that our proceeds are going to be donated to.

Amanda Mae [: 00:36:34

We share resources for women veterans all over the country and we also talk about other opportunities. There's a lot of online classes. We have an education series where we strive to provide at least one class every month, usually over zoom, that helps educate our sisters on resources and opportunities again around the globe, not just in San Antonio. And those classes are also always free.

Amanda Mae [: 00:36:59

So we would love for people to get involved in any facet that they're interested in. We are also working on the 2026 calendar right now. So if you have an interest in editing or PowerPoint or even if you could just help by sharing our information on your social pages, every little bit helps. And if you don't want to share on social media, there's also an option in our store if you just want to make a one time or a recurring donation. There is a donation option in our store as well. But while you're in our store you might see some merch that you're interested in. You could buy some merch for yourself or for a friend. And if you're in the San Antonio area, we would definitely love to get in touch with you and we would love your support at some of the upcoming events that we have coming up.

Amanda Mae [: 00:37:49

The most noteworthy of course is our launch party. This will be our third annual calendar launch party for the coming calendar year and we have great prizes, we have great silent auction baskets, we have some great door prizes and we're going to have a couple competitions. So it's going to be a lot of fun. It's going to be at VFW Post 76 on October 18th and we would love your help planning that so you can get in touch with us. There's a contact us form on the Website Again, that's www.womanveterancalendar.com. you can also just email us directly at womanveterancalendar@gmail.com and we'd love to have your involvement and support.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:36

I love that. Amanda. Amanda Mae, I love it. Thank you for bringing your peppiness, your middle child Leo type personality to all this.

Amanda Mae [: 00:38:47

Thank you so much for having me.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:49

Yeah, thank you for being on Dog Tag Diaries. That's a wrap on today's episode of Dog Tag Diaries as we head deeper into season five. I'm more grateful than ever for this community, for the raw, brave stories shared and the hearts they reach. If something spoke to you today, pass it on. Leave a review. Share with a sister in arms. Because healing is contagious. And so is hope.

Captain Kim [: 00:39:19

Until next time, keep speaking your truth. And remember, you're not alone.