A Brave Life From Surviving To Thriving: Star Gibson’s Unstoppable Journey! -59

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Captain Kim [: 00:00:01

Star Gibson didn't join the military for medals. She joined to fight for her kids. But instead of just battling in court, she faced an unexpected trauma within the ranks that changed everything. After surviving military sexual trauma, Starr chose not to stay silent. She transformed her pain into purpose, becoming a voice for survivors, a leader in her veteran community, and a fierce advocate for healing through action. This is her story of survival, strength, and service beyond uniform. Let's dive in. Welcome to season five of Dog Tag Diaries, where the untold stories of military women take center stage.

Captain Kim [: 00:00:47

I'm your host, Captain Kim, and we are in our fifth season. Five seasons of truth, grit, laughter, healing, and connection to every storyteller who shared a piece of their soul and every listener who's walked alongside us. Thank you. You're the reason this podcast has grown into a movement. Let's keep breaking silence, building community, and amplifying the voices that deserve to be heard. Let's dive in. Today's guest, Star Gibson, is a powerhouse. She's a single mom of three boys, a licensed auctioneer, a certified firearms instructor, and a federally licensed gun dealer.

Captain Kim [: 00:01:38

But her most meaningful titles are advocate and protector. Star served in the Oregon Army National Guard, and while her military experience was short, it was transformative and traumatic. She bravely shares her story of surviving military sexual trauma and the path she's carved since to support empower others through community service, veteran advocacy, and nonprofit leadership. From firearms education to estate auctions, from raising three boys to rebuilding her life, Star doesn't just break barriers, she builds bridges. Welcome, Star, to Dog Tag Diaries.

Star Gibson [: 00:02:17

Hi.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:18

Hi. So happy to have you.

Star Gibson [: 00:02:21

Thank you.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:22

And speaking of auctioneer, I'm going to talk about how we first met, and that was through when Women Veterans Recognition Day about two years ago. You were the auctioneer to help us raise funds for our nonprofit Reveille and Retreat Project.

Star Gibson [: 00:02:38

Yep. That was June 14th.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:41

Yeah. And you did a fantastic job because I believe you were just out of auctioneer school.

Star Gibson [: 00:02:47

Yep. Last year. 2024 was my first year going 1,010%. That auction was really great. It brought together a lot of people. I snagged Lydia Mortimer from eastern Washington, and she's a livestock auctioneer. So her chance, completely different. And we both graduated Worldwide College of Auctioneering, and she and I have worked to make sure that, you know, it's a small world.

Star Gibson [: 00:03:12

And when you do auctions any closer to her than where I live in Newburgh, Oregon, she can come down and sling out some chance.

Captain Kim [: 00:03:19

So, yeah, I am going to put you on the spot right now to give one of your chants. Because I tried to do that after you do it and I'm like, it sounds nothing like it.

Star Gibson [: 00:03:31

All right, what do you have? What do you give? We have a travel package from Bend, Oregon and it's an all inclusive rafting trip for six people, all the food and alcohol you can drink from, cider boys and two night stay for your group of six, what do you have? Let's start the bidding off at $100. We've got 100. 100. 100 now too. 200 now 3. $300. $300 now 4. 400 now 5.

Star Gibson [: 00:03:56

Reached $500. Now we're going to a thousand thousand dollars. Now 1100. Now 12. $1,200. $1,200. Now 13. 13.

Star Gibson [: 00:04:02

13. Now 14. Now 15. Now 16.

Star Gibson [: 00:04:05

Sold.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:06

Sold.

Star Gibson [: 00:04:08

That's how it's done.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:10

Yeah, you do that so well. I try it and I stumble over. Maybe my tongue's stupid, I don't know. Or maybe I just haven't gone to auctioneer school and have practiced that everyone can do it.

Star Gibson [: 00:04:20

At auctioneer school, you're given 12 tongue twisters and number chants, usually for warmup. When I do an auction, I usually do a couple of the drills so people understand that it's not really about the way you make your rhythm. And the way you make your chant is not just there's different filler words that make it sound different. So a lot of the livestock auctioneers will do, you know, bid it to buy or dollar bid or bid it at. And so it's a lot about not just rolling your Rs, but it's really about enunciation because you need to give them a number where to start at. For most estate auctions, you're giving them a number to start at and then you're asking and you're always asking and you're always saying those numbers. So.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:01

Well, you did an amazing job and you were so amazing at the auction. So thank you for.

Star Gibson [: 00:05:06

I remember Windy.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:07

So Windy. Oh my gosh. All the prizes kept going all over the place. But we, you did a great job and we're going to talk about how you got into all that, but let's hear about how you were as a child.

Star Gibson [: 00:05:19

Yeah, so I grew up, my parents got married December 4, 1976, Bill and Briana Gibson. And they started their construction company one year later, Gibson Door Millwork. And so I grew up around 2 very self employed, very energetic people who wanted to make things work and work really well. You know, Murphy's law is what can Go wrong will go wrong. And my dad's, we call them Bill isms and my dad says unless you check three times and make sure it can't go wrong. So I didn't know that. I was raised in between a perfectionist and someone who wanted to do it the right way the first time, but made sure that by the third time it was done the right way. That's funny because I'm the youngest of three girls.

Star Gibson [: 00:06:03

As I'm thinking about that I'm like, oh my God, that just cemented itself. So My oldest is five years apart and my middle sister and I are 18 months apart and Samara is the oldest and Jubilee's the middle sister.

Captain Kim [: 00:06:16

I love the names.

Star Gibson [: 00:06:17

My mom and dad made sure that we kids got, I would say biblically unique names. Samarah Ann is gift of God and then Jubilee Myrrh is, you know, every seven years in the Bible they would take the year Jubilee, which is the year off from working and they just enjoy the harvest. She's also sweet smelling and then my name is Stauros Shalom and it's peace of the cross or tree of righteousness or someone who walks with peace on her feet. And yeah, I grew up in southeast Portland. My mom calls it Northeast Clackamas because she doesn't want to be associated with Portland. Willamette National Cemetery. This is one of the things that I was thinking about talking about was Willamette Nash Cemetery backs into my parents backyard. And so when after 911 happened, we were hearing the cannons go off from 21 gun salute happen at 9am at noon and at 3pm every single day for years.

Star Gibson [: 00:07:13

And I think that did have a profound effect on me. We would go up and visit people who had passed in the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and we would go do all the flowers or help with all the wreaths being placed throughout my childhood. And I really remember having that effect on me that it's not doesn't take anyone special to join the military. It does take a special breed of people to stick to it and stay.

Captain Kim [: 00:07:37

Gosh, you were taught at a really young age from your parents to be respectful and pay respect to veterans.

Star Gibson [: 00:07:45

Well, I did get away with a lot. I was the youngest of three girls. But I found that I was a really old soul in a young body really early on because I could sit down with anyone at an old folks home or wherever we were visiting or even at the memorials and I could sit down to them and they felt comfortable to talk to me about their story. That's been A thing for a really long time. And the power of someone just being able to listen to them and not understand exactly what they're saying, but able to give them an ear and make them feel like someone understood that a young child even cares for that generation.

Captain Kim [: 00:08:24

Yeah. Because they often go misunderstood and unheard and unseen. Yeah.

Star Gibson [: 00:08:31

Even if they wear those hats that say, you know, Iraq war veteran or Vietnam veteran or World War II veteran, they're wearing that hat because they don't feel like they can talk or that they can't. You know, the communication isn't there. So it was a good childhood and grew up around my mom. My mom would drag us to meetings when we were kids, and we would either sit underneath the table at the union meetings or sit next to them, and we realized we were bargaining chips really early on. If my mom brought us to a meeting, the union guys couldn't swear. They had to be really respectful. But learning that, you know, part of the business, most kids don't grow up even learning that. So it was super fun.

Star Gibson [: 00:09:08

My dad being the youngest of three girls, my dad realized that if he's going to go fishing and hunting, he's got to bring one of us along. So I volunteered. Started doing a shotgun and practical pistol league at Clackamas County Sheriff's Office when I was 12. I was the youngest female to ever do that. It was so much fun. Started being a teacher's assistant, and then When I turned 21, I became an NRA instructor and a chief range safety officer, and so started teaching my own classes. And that was based off of some childhood trauma that I experienced and not wanting to ever just be a victim. That I wanted to teach women how to survive, and not just survive, but to live comfortably.

Star Gibson [: 00:09:47

And along those lines, after I had met the twins, well, I call him sperm donor. I'm not gonna even mention his name. And had to raise the twins alone. Being pregnant with twins taught me a lot about. All right, now that I have these birth and hips and I have a full chest of my own milk for the kids, how am I going to carry a gun? And it changed my perspective on women carrying guns and purses. And it changed my perspective on custom making, like, backpack holsters for women who are pregnant so that they could have it in their diaper bag or in their vehicle, but mainly in their diaper bag so that they can comfortably carry and how that looks. So imagine me about 155 pounds heavier at 276 pounds, and I was a beached whale. That's How I treated myself, I was like, you know, I'm eating for two.

Star Gibson [: 00:10:42

I'm not gonna be the starvation type of mama. So trained on the gun range, I killed my first cow elk while I was seven and a half months pregnant with the twins. So it was a really good experience.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:54

Yeah. And we're gonna get into like all your adventures and innovations and all those cool things because it's one of the things I love about you. When I met you, you just really have this wide eyed excitement about the world and not staying in the lines of it, like anything's possible, I can create anything. But I do want to talk about like your childhood. You were saying that you did have some trauma. Are you willing to talk about that?

Star Gibson [: 00:11:25

Sure. Long story short, what happened was at the time we were attending a Mexican speaking church, Spanish speaking church, and my parents had invited one of the pastors, one of the guys that were there at the church, to stay at the house because he was working in my parents business. And it just seemed easier to my dad to just have that guy stay in the house retrospectively, you know, you have three young girls under the age of 15. No, no, don't do that. Essentially, he had raped and molested two of us and certainly emotionally traumatized the third. And when I turned 17, he had told my parents that if, of course after it came out that what he did to us, he told my parents that if my parents go tell the police, the normal lie of an abuser is going to make you feel fearful that your kids are going to be taken away because of your own stupidity. And so he told my parents that if he, if we reported him and he was here illegally, that he would be. That they won't believe them.

Star Gibson [: 00:12:28

And the biggest lie is you won't be believed and that your kids will be taken away. So I had. Between the ages of 7 and 17, I had lived in a really dark place because my parents never thought about getting therapy, never thought about me sharing my story. They just thought if we all forget about it, it'll be forgotten. And that's not the case with any kind of abuse, but relatively had a really great childhood other than that. But it was really dark. And so when I turned 16, my sister was going to go get married and she and I discussed what had happened to us and I said, you know what, I'm not going to be able to live with myself if I go tell someone.

Captain Kim [: 00:13:08

Because it was manifesting in you. Right?

Star Gibson [: 00:13:11

Like it was terrible.

Captain Kim [: 00:13:13

I was, how was it coming out?

Star Gibson [: 00:13:15

Physically I was angry all the time. I was really blue all the time. On top of that, hearing the 21 gun salute of people that died honorably and with integrity, not being able to get out and feeling like an elephant was sitting on my chest. And I did graduate when I was 14 from high school and I pushed myself through that. So I did some traveling and I realized that what happened to me was not just a blip in some part of history that I'm going to have to tell my kids how I survived if I ever have kids, which I really didn't want at the time. I just was really focused into self defense training and making sure that someone was going to hear my scream if this happened ever again. And so my dad drove me down to the Gresham Police Department, which was the closest one to us, and met with a detective named Mace Winters and sat down with him for what I thought was going to be a 30 minute conversation because I knew he was going to tell me that really didn't happen to you and you're lying. And all the fear, you know, the built up 10 years of fear of just lies that parents believe about abuse, you know.

Star Gibson [: 00:14:21

And there was also another guy, gentleman there, Scott Chamberlain was there and I'll tie that in. I met you. Really great guy, really big heart. And not only did they believe me, but they put out a PSA and he was arrested after a great event. So not only did they believe me, but they. We were probably there for six hours going over every detail and I could remember everything because that's the only thing I could think about for 10 years. And I had already written down through my journals, I had already written down exactly what he did when he did it and how long it lasted. And essentially he got 10 years in Oregon, Snake River Penitentiary.

Star Gibson [: 00:15:01

We did a plea deal because there were so many other victims that came forward.

Captain Kim [: 00:15:05

Because you coming forward helped other women.

Star Gibson [: 00:15:09

129 kids between the ages of 9 and 25 came forward. Even though they couldn't get them on the 25 year olds, they were just back up for witnessing what he did. And so yeah, he got 10 years here in Oregon and then they sent him back to Mexico because of he had murdered his wife and children in Mexico and he crossed the border back in 1996. And so he was an illegal man living here in the United States, committing the cycle of criminality. He continued to commit crimes here. And so in the audience when I was doing my auction, I saw this very tall, very teddy bear like human being tucked away.

Captain Kim [: 00:15:51

That's a good description of Scott Chamberlain.

Star Gibson [: 00:15:53

And you standing next to him. And I'm like, okay, she knows him. And somehow in my heart, I knew him. But because of the joy of having ptsd, don't recognize his face. I recognize his laugh. I recognized his aura. After the auction, he came up to me. He's like, hey, what are you doing, squirt? Haven't seen you since you were.

Star Gibson [: 00:16:15

And I burst into tears. I didn't know how to. And that's one of the reasons why I just packed up and left right after the auction because I didn't know how to regulate what I was feeling. And he's like, I know you. And I'm like, crap. From which section of my life did you know me from? You know, which chapter? And anyway, he told me what he was doing at Portland PD working, and his small, short life story. And it was amazing.

Captain Kim [: 00:16:39

He remembered you. You made such an impact on him and him on you.

Star Gibson [: 00:16:45

Oh, yes. I couldn't have been in that place doing that auction unless that was pre designed by God. Like, I firmly believe that. And so earlier on the auction, I could sense that I knew someone in the crowd, but I had no idea. And Ben Newburgh, you know, it's just amazing. Incredible. So auctions do bring people together.

Captain Kim [: 00:17:07

Did that help in your healing journey?

Star Gibson [: 00:17:09

I think so, yeah. The full circle connection. That what I did was the best thing for me. Selfishly.

Captain Kim [: 00:17:17

I remember the hug, too, between you and Scott Chamberlain. And at the time, again, I didn't know what was going on either.

Star Gibson [: 00:17:23

Right.

Captain Kim [: 00:17:24

Until we talked about it, but there was this hug and this energy, and there was just something. And I was like, what is going on? And then I was like, oh, do you know him? And you were like, yeah, but long story.

Star Gibson [: 00:17:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yep. And here we are. So it only took a year-ish. To come back together. So the whole reason why I started auctioneering was because I was at the time going to George Fox university. And in 2022, and there wasn't anything on campus for veterans. It's a pacifist university.

Star Gibson [: 00:17:55

So I restarted the veterans club after being dormant for, like, 10 years. And the powers that be had to find a different location to host a coffee meetup than on campus. Newburgh veterans started a coffee meetup probably 30 years ago. So I started going there every Tuesday. And one of the founders of the coffee meetup, Hub Murdoch, said, you're a single mom. You have kids. You have nothing on your plate. You're going to school full time.

Star Gibson [: 00:18:21

You know, we went to war. You could totally do this. Don't worry about it. So February of 2023, I started my veteran nonprofit, went to go look for an auctioneer because I've been in fundraising for a long time, different organizations doing event managing and stuff like that, and couldn't find one for less than $8,000. So took money out of my savings account, went to Worldwide College of Auctioneering, West Des Moines, Iowa. 10 days, 180 hours ish of training and got certified through that college and did for auctioneering.

Captain Kim [: 00:18:54

And you had three boys?

Star Gibson [: 00:18:56

I have three boys. I have Aaron, Brian and Cecil. A B and C you always introduced.

Captain Kim [: 00:19:01

When we met for coffee the one time too, you introduced them like that.

Star Gibson [: 00:19:04

A, B and C. And they responded to their first initial. Yeah, very good for me because I say heir Brian and Brett, Aaron all the time. Yeah. The twins are now 10 and Cecil's five.

Captain Kim [: 00:19:15

And you did this all while having. You were going to auctioneer school, being a single mom to three boys.

Star Gibson [: 00:19:21

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:19:22

And had your nonprofit.

Star Gibson [: 00:19:24

And I had my nonprofit. Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:19:25

So let's talk about your nonprofit. What's it called and why did you start it and what's the mission?

Star Gibson [: 00:19:31

So I started Vet2Vet center, and we originally started it so that we didn't have to pay for coffee. That was the really blunt thing. What it's grown into is our mission is the socialization of veterans, getting them out of the house, getting them fishing and hunting, and weekly coffee meetup. And we're not a no group of people. We're a yes group of people. So we have a veteran who wanted to start doing kayaking out on Henry Hag Lake. And he's like, well, I don't have a kayak, but I know that water therapy or fishing therapy, pictorial therapy, is really imperative for PTSD veterans. My generation, I'm 34, so my generation of veterans, the last thing we're going to do is go join American Legion or VFW and sit down and have a drink.

Star Gibson [: 00:20:19

Alcohol is the biggest poison and the biggest drug that America has ever allowed. And it hurts families in the respect of veterans. It doesn't. I haven't heard a veteran tell me yet that alcohol has helped them through ptsd.

Captain Kim [: 00:20:33

Yes.

Star Gibson [: 00:20:33

Sorry. It is.

Captain Kim [: 00:20:34

It's a poison to your body. Yes. And your mind.

Star Gibson [: 00:20:37

Exactly. If you're going to do it socially and you're around friends and family and you're having a drink, it's not me to judge that. What I'm judging is I haven't seen any significant therapy for alcohol. Use. So, you know, my generation is they want to go outside, they want to go play, they want to go live their life, you know, their person that all their buddies that were with them in Afghanistan or Iraq war veterans or other conflicts that we've been in since they're not here right now. And the best thing that they can go and relive or make new memories is for them to go outside. Yes, we do have a coffee meetup that does meet inside every Tuesday from 9 until 10 in Newburgh, Oregon. Right now we're meeting at Nut Tree Ranch, but we've expanded because every third Thursday now we're down in Wilhelmina at SkyHorse Coffee.

Captain Kim [: 00:21:21

And about how many veterans do you got?

Star Gibson [: 00:21:23

At the Newburgh one? We get between 30 to 60 people every Tuesday. About 27 gallons of coffee on average. Yep. And then the SkyHorse one just started this month, and we had six veterans show up. So not many stayed because it's on a Tuesday, so we might. Or on a Thursday, so we might change up the date for a weekend. But for right now, it's on the third Thursdays. What's fun is one of my regulars, his name is Ralph, he comes in and he's a Navy veteran, good old squid.

Star Gibson [: 00:21:54

And he comes in the door, I give him a side hug, and I said, Ralph, it's so good to see you. And his response is, it's really good to be seen. And I'm like, it's good to hear you. And he's like, well, it's a really good way to be heard.

Captain Kim [: 00:22:09

I love Ralph already.

Star Gibson [: 00:22:11

Yes, Ralph is a great guy. And so the other things we've kind of done in the community was I got a call from a gal in Dallas, Oregon, and her husband needed a new H vac. And they had already put in for different the VA home update. And a bunch of other places were updating their house and it was going to cost $4,500. And so wonderful thing about Newburgh is Newburgh has connection. And I sent a letter to all of the FWS because, you know, any surplus extra money laying around, this is a really good cause. We also installed a centralized oxygen tank that someone comes and refills so that the guy can walk around his house without having the nose apparatus. It's all his oxygen.

Star Gibson [: 00:22:56

So fundraised for that, I went absolutely. To different businesses in Newburgh. In three days time, we raised $4,500. And we had drove down to peak heating and cooling down in Dallas, submitted our check. They were like, wow. We were Expecting, you know, this take a couple months and got to sign the check, hand it over to them, and about two weeks later, they had their what they needed in their house.

Captain Kim [: 00:23:22

Sara, I just want to talk about what an amazing human you are. I hear you talking about all this, but we also had discussion before you came on, and you really are like a protector and a provider and a savior. Because when you hear that someone needs something, whether it's physically the kayak, to get onto the water to start healing or emotionally, they just need you and your energy. You will drive three hours in one day to see them, and then three hours back. You just have this very angelic, caring, loving soul. And you're right, you are an old soul. Because I feel like, you know, that we're all interconnected and that it's important. Those are the important things, because you could have just saved a life.

Captain Kim [: 00:24:13

Yes, it's a kayak, it's a materialistic thing, but it's everything that goes with it. Getting them on the water, you listen to what people say.

Star Gibson [: 00:24:23

So this is something I wrote up. Our mission is to provide social gatherings where a veteran is understood, a place they can retreat to discover fellowship and appreciation. We assist in preventing suicide by maintaining contact with our veterans on a weekly basis. So Vet2Vet supports assisting veterans in finding social activities and emotional support in a variety of ways, if that may be weekly coffee meetups, wood ministry, gun range time, meal preparation, and so much more. So our goal, which we have successfully been able to do, and it's not just me, it's a whole group of people, we create a safe environment for veterans to meet weekly. We support veteran success in social activities and we link arms with local organizations to enrichment of our veterans and with the hope to provide a sense of purpose and know that they're not alone. We see a need, we respond and we act quickly. So that's been a thing.

Captain Kim [: 00:25:15

That's your mission and that's what you do. That's what your stories support.

Star Gibson [: 00:25:19

Absolutely. So that's what I live every day. If I could help a veteran every day, I feel pretty good. So it feels good to do good things.

Captain Kim [: 00:25:29

Do you feel like it's part of your healing as well?

Star Gibson [: 00:25:32

Oh, yeah. This is more, I think it's selfishly a lot of therapy for me because I didn't go as long as I wanted to in my military. I joined at a time where I needed full custody of my kids. So the twins were born and I went and joined the Oregon Army National Guard, went to basic essentially January of 2016. On paper, it says February because of, you know, day zero. We hit day zero a lot, but I was there for 14 weeks and graduated basic. I had just completed basic training, and I was in the hallway with one of my battle buddies, and we were dropping off surplus gear to one of the drill sergeants, who forgot to pick it up. One of the drill sergeants came up to me, and I had been going through some domestic violence at home before I left, and the guy who is the twin sperm donor had strangled me and kidnapped the boys.

Star Gibson [: 00:26:27

And so he was under investigation for that. So because of that, I had to let my recruiter know, and my recruiter let people that was in charge of me, you know, the team of drill sergeants and commander know that that's what I was going through. So I would have to access my phone and all the things for trial and stuff, which happened while I was there. And the drill sergeant came up to me, and he grabbed me around my throat, and he's like, you do have a really nice neck that I could strangle. And he got more physical with me. And my battle buddy's there. And my battle buddy steps out of being put on at attention and says, no, no, that's not gonna happen. No.

Star Gibson [: 00:27:08

And she got pretty loud and vocal. He put my head inside his elbow, and he started tightening up. Like, I felt like I was losing consciousness. And my battle buddy runs to the captain's quarters. I don't know this at all. I was out of it. Runs to the captain's quarters, brings another drill sergeant out, and essentially, that drill sergeant and the other drill sergeant had words. And the drill sergeant that came out to help had me sit down and write down what happened to me.

Star Gibson [: 00:27:36

Thank God, because I was already, you know, childhood victim, survivor. And then domestic violence at home. And then a place where I thought I could be safe. Turned out that it wasn't safe at all.

Captain Kim [: 00:27:50

Yeah, he was using the information that they relayed about what was going on about you to keep you safe. And he used that against you.

Star Gibson [: 00:28:00

Yes. So we had a couple things happen at basic. We had drill sergeants come in and watch us take showers, male and female. And just really terrible things happened. We were at Bravo 35th Engineer Battalion at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. And so my battle buddy doesn't want to be named in any type of documentation because she has plans for her future and all the things if you report sexual crimes of any nature. We were told, again, the big lie. We were told that we would get in trouble and that our story wouldn't be listened to, so already going, meh.

Star Gibson [: 00:28:37

Heard that before. Don't give a fuck.

Captain Kim [: 00:28:41

Now you're stronger now you know better.

Star Gibson [: 00:28:43

I already know better. My bad buddy doesn't want to be mentioned. She lives in Korea with her husband, and they're out there in the service art still. So I came home, I reported my crime. I was going to report to my local pd but since it happened over there, I had to report it over the phone. And the sergeant who I talked to, police sergeant for Fort Leonard Wood, not military, said, hey, this happens all the time. I just want to let you know you're not the only one. And we're going to do a public service announcement for your unit.

Star Gibson [: 00:29:11

I'm not sure if there's still a Bravo 35th. I think it was disbanded after. Because it wasn't just me there. Just for my group. There was 230 females that all had some type of story of sexual harassment or sexual assault. And three or four drill sergeants in our cycle all got. They got reprimanded, but they never got dishonorably discharged. They just got sent to a different one.

Star Gibson [: 00:29:36

So great, you just had sexual abusers of women and boys just got dissipated into another crowd of brand new fresh basic eats.

Captain Kim [: 00:29:45

You know what's so sad? In 1995, I went to Fort Leonard Wood, and they were recycling drill sergeants out at the time, because I didn't know what that all meant. And we were just so into our training program. But one day a drill sergeant would be there doing peculiar behavior, and the next you'd have a whole new group of sergeants coming in, drill sergeants. And I was like, oh, I don't understand this. But it was for the same reason. And that was back in 1995, and this is still going on.

Star Gibson [: 00:30:18

So I found the drill sergeant that assaulted me online. So he's still a drill sergeant, but now he's serving time in Leavenworth. Oh, a lot of time. But they still have his rank. On his Facebook page, he still has his rank, but maybe that's just personal, you know? So his wife divorced him, of course, took their four kids, moved back to the Philippines, and she started a fund for women and boys who were sexually assaulted by him. So there's a scholarship fund for anyone who just applies for it. And I think so far they've done like 600 scholarships, $10,000 or more for victims of that guy. And it was a whole circle.

Star Gibson [: 00:30:59

It was a whole clique that that guy was into, you know, and unfortunately.

Captain Kim [: 00:31:03

There'S bad people out there, but I love that her husband. I love that you are able to come and make bring something positive out of it. Yeah.

Star Gibson [: 00:31:13

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. It took me a really long time, as it does with veterans, to finally just say, hey, I need help. Filed my VA claim myself with all the letters that I had, my buddy statements, my everything. It was pretty. Wasn't not provable. So that was. Got filed July of 2022 and September of 2024.

Star Gibson [: 00:31:36

They gave me a disability percentage and I've been doing PTSD therapy with a VA doctor for about a year on and off. It's really hard to pin me down and sit down. This is very hard, if you're wondering.

Captain Kim [: 00:31:51

Yes, it is. So thank you again for taking time to be on here because you have so many titles, you wear so many hats. All of them, again, protect. To help to make someone's life better, including your own.

Star Gibson [: 00:32:08

Well, yeah. One of my really good childhood friends said, you know, star, you can't assist others without assisting yourself first. You have to put on your own air mask. You know, when the plane drops altitude, the masks come out. You have to put your own mask before helping your kids because if you're not alive to help your kids, no one's going to be there for them.

Captain Kim [: 00:32:26

Did she notice that you were just trying to heal through helping others and not helping yourself in the beginning?

Star Gibson [: 00:32:33

Yep. Well, there's a good friend I'm really thankful for. The people in Newburgh. There's. Becky Wallace has been in my life for a really long time. Samantha Cooley. Both are police officers, wives. Both are in the circle that know exactly what happened to me when I went domestic violence.

Star Gibson [: 00:32:50

Becky's also a Marine, and I don't know what it is, but somehow I have attracted Marines veterans. It's the weirdest thing. They're the very much, you know, for around and find out friends.

Captain Kim [: 00:33:00

Need your soft side.

Star Gibson [: 00:33:02

Yes, they absolutely are the negatives to my positive. So it's been really good. It's been so far. It's been a really good experience. You know, there's always going to be people that want to drag you down. There's always people that are going to accuse you of stolen valor, which has been a new thing that's been. That's been like really. First you're saying that I'm lying about my story, and next thing you're accusing me of stolen valor.

Star Gibson [: 00:33:27

And so just letting you guys know, anytime that you have an accusation of stolen valor. We weren't given we weren't issued DD214s. We were issued NGB22s, which is what the National Guard gives you for your National Guard service. Now, I have applied for DD214, but the amount of time that I served, yes, I served more than 90 days, but the National Guard doesn't really hand those out anymore. They give you an NGB 22. Same thing with the reservists. If you're a reserve, you're going to get a reserve form instead of an NGB 22 or DD 214. So that's been the fun part with veterans who have gone to war, who have missing limbs, that firmly believe only because I raised my hand and swore an oath, they believe that I'm a veteran.

Star Gibson [: 00:34:12

But there are always going to be the veterans that, well, she didn't serve in combat. There's always going to be those veterans that are so old school. Technically. My dad served in the Navy during Vietnam. He was drafted, but he served on the USS Pensacola, which was east coast and went to Sweden and Norway during Vietnam. Never served in waters of war, so he can't be a VFW member. But he served in a time of work and he left. Even with honorable or dishonorable veterans, everyone has a story.

Star Gibson [: 00:34:41

I've met Vietnam veterans who went to Vietnam, served their time, came back home, got addicted to drugs, went back to Vietnam, got discovered addicted to drugs. Technically, he has a less than honorable discharge. And I sat down with him and went over how to file, you know, showed his wife how to file his VA claim because he still served six years in an honorable conditions, whether or not his end time in the military was less than honorable.

Captain Kim [: 00:35:12

But you support everyone. You see us. Like I said, we're all interconnected.

Star Gibson [: 00:35:18

We all bleed red. I don't care what your skin color is. I don't care about your culture. I might care about your culture because I'm Romanian. But when assisting a veteran, most of the time this is the biggest thing. I didn't serve as long as I wanted to. So I really relate with most people that I didn't see any war. And I do relate with a lot of people that didn't see war.

Star Gibson [: 00:35:39

But the disconnection is for some odd reason. Veteran service officers seem to think that they hold the keys to getting a veteran their needs met. And there seems to be a really big thing that they promise that they can help veterans and they don't. So here in Yamhill county, we have a VSO who's just a stick in the Mud. If he doesn't like you and you just so happen not to be driving the right car or wearing the right watch, he's not going to help you. And I have probably 600 complaints that we've compiled of this veteran service officer. And we've turned it in. We've turned it into the county commissioners.

Star Gibson [: 00:36:14

And because VSOs are in a union, the county commissioners aren't going to try to stop that. But what has happened is, Locally, we have five or six people who have gone through the VA training and gotten certified as a VA certifier for their nonprofits. So the DAV here in Yanthila county, the VFW 4015, they each have volunteers that can sit down with people in their own homes and do their VA claims, which is much different than someone popping into an office and there are stacks of paper coming off his desk. He has never gotten to.

Captain Kim [: 00:36:48

These soldiers already have pts. And I really think it's important to be stay in the comforts of your own home. Right?

Star Gibson [: 00:36:55

And the thing is, most of the guys and the gals that I've worked with, like John in Northeast Newburgh, he was a World War II veteran, Navy, and he was on hospice. And the VSO here in Yamhill county said, sorry, you're on hospice already. I can't help you. Had never filed a VA claim, had never filed a medical claim. So what I did was I brought a VA certifier over to his house. We essentially downloaded his entire blue button medical health that he had been going to the VA for this long, downloaded it all, uploaded it into his VA claim 36 hours later. We don't need to do a scan on you. We don't need to.

Star Gibson [: 00:37:32

We're just approving you 100%. He got backdated to 1991 when he got out, because he served from 1964 to 1991.

Captain Kim [: 00:37:40

Oh, my gosh. I bet there was tears in his eyes.

Star Gibson [: 00:37:42

I cried. He cried, his wife cried, his grandkids cried, his great grandkids cried. And then he's on hospice. He finally. We got him to the point where his entire family, you know, his wife's taken care of and his two kids that lives still live at home was taken care of. And. And in the end, what happened was he passed away two weeks later. And I bawled my eyes out because I was hoping that we could have more time to talk about his time in the Navy and going to shore and his military time.

Star Gibson [: 00:38:09

And he didn't really want to talk about his military Time he wanted to talk about his time being home. You know, the apple pies, how many apple pies he could eat in a week.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:18

Oh, my gosh.

Star Gibson [: 00:38:19

He wanted to have his wife be the spotlight of the story because she got through six kids while he was gone, you know, and so he passed away. And it was a full circle moment for me because I realized that everything that I'm doing has impact. More so because now his wife doesn't have to pay mortgage. The VA updated him so far back to when he got his cancer diagnosis originally. So the full circle is, I think everyone can do something. You need to find what you're good at and volunteer for that. If you're not good at talking with people on the phone, don't volunteer for talking to people on the phone. Find something that you're excited about to.

Captain Kim [: 00:39:00

Help people and you've really found your niche. Now start. You have all these titles like, which are so amazing. Founder, director, Vet to vet center, your VP in Newburgh, noon Rotary VP in Fernwood Grange 770 Junior Vice, Yamhill Chapter 5American Veterans and Oregon State University student and intern with Shalem Chamber of Commerce. But the biggest thing about you is how you care and how you won't settle for just for no. That was yes. Full circle.

Star Gibson [: 00:39:37

You said I do at my auctions. I say, you know, the worst thing you can tell me is no, because I'm going to ask you a different way.

Captain Kim [: 00:39:42

And your vet, the Vet center motto, you were like, we don't say no here. We say yes.

Star Gibson [: 00:39:47

Yeah, we're yes people. We do not say no. We've got three LOP tags usually every year coming out of the ELSA unit, which is near Lincoln City. And I can put a paralyzed veteran on elk because we have people who are like, well, we got to get him into the tree stand. Okay, let's figure this out. And we literally drive a crane down there and pick up his wheelchair and put him into the tree stand and ratchet him down. I mean, we've seen really great people come together who are like, well, I want to donate fishing trips. And I'm like, okay, how are we going to do this so that everyone doesn't get, you know, it's even amount of people and they're really great organizations that we've partnered with High Timber Dreams, we've partnered with out in Elgin, Oregon.

Star Gibson [: 00:40:30

We've partnered in the past with Rob McCready and Rob is doing it on his own. And now he is with High Timber Dreams now. And we've done Fundraising for other people where they're like, hey, we want to get the youth onto turkeys and bear down in southern Oregon and their dads or moms are deployed and they want to go hunting. And so we vet every guide and every person who's part of the camp to be around those kids, to provide a safe place where those kids can just get on animals. And the success of it all is because army colonel came up to me and said, you're a single mom. You have so much time on your hands. You could totally do this. And I ran with it and I said, I think I can do this.

Captain Kim [: 00:41:16

And you did.

Star Gibson [: 00:41:17

And I'm going to find the right people to be connected to.

Captain Kim [: 00:41:20

Yeah, I agree. And you've helped me so much as well. Even with my non profit and like with the federal funding and all that, with being scared that that might take it all away, something that's so important to me or all these other people will figure out a way. Because we are not going to let what we truly believe in die because someone else said, hey, the funds shouldn't go towards you. We don't believe that. And that's okay. Because you know what? It just makes people like us be more creative, come together and unionize and figure out something even better. So, Star, I want to thank you so much for one, being our auctioneer for our fundraiser, two, for us for being friends, and three, just being who you are because your energy really makes a difference in the world.

Captain Kim [: 00:42:11

So thank you so much for being on Dog Tag Diaries and we will be in touch.

Star Gibson [: 00:42:16

Awesome. Thank you.

Captain Kim [: 00:42:20

That's a wrap on today's episode of Dog Tag Diaries. As we head deeper into season five. I'm more grateful than ever for this community, for the raw, brave stories shared and the hearts they reach. If something spoke to you today, pass it on. Leave a review. Share with a sister in arms. Because healing is contagious and so is hope. Until next time, keep speaking your truth and remember, you're not alone.