From Iraq to Healing: A Path to Support Other Veteran's Mental Health -01
Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries. This week, Captain Dakota joins us to share her remarkable journey from high school enlistment to her intense deployment in Iraq. What's it like to transition from small-town life to the chaos of a convoy under attack? Dakota opens up about a life-altering event and its emotional aftermath, offering a raw glimpse into the unseen struggles veterans face. Tune in to hear how she grappled with these challenges and the essential role of mental health support. You'll also learn how she co-founded the Reveille and Retreat Project (and this podcast). Discover her advice for future military women, including her own daughter, and learn how veterans can find their sense of purpose post-deployment. This podcast is about the transformative power of sharing stories, and we are glad you are part of it. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of resilience, community, and healing.
Dakota Olson-Harris currently serves in the Army National Guard and has been for the past 15 years. She enlisted as a tank mechanic then earned her commission as a Combat Engineer Officer. She has two deployments, Iraq and United Arab Emirates. On the civilian side Dakota works as a counselor providing readjustment counseling for Veterans, current service members, and their families. Dakota is a wife and a bonus mom to four kiddos. They have recently added to their family with a baby girl, totaling five kids. They also have two dogs, Paco and Elsa. Her family loves to go on adventures whether it's walks, hiking, camping, or just going on a road trip to visit family.
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Transcript
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Kim [:Join us as we follow the gripping journey of a woman through the military from her intense deployment in Iraq to our experience in ROTC and beyond. Get ready to hear firsthand accounts of the challenges, triumphs, and what it truly means to serve in the armed forces. Tune in for an inside look at the life of a military woman from past to present and everything in between. Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries where military women share true stories. We are your hosts, Captain Kim.
Dakota [:And Captain Dakota. The stories you are about to hear are powerful. We appreciate that you have joined us and are eager to learn more about these experiences and connect with the military women who are willing to share their stories in order to foster community and understanding.
Kim [:Military women are providing valuable insight into their experiences, struggles, and triumphs. By speaking their truth, they contribute to a deeper understanding of the challenges they face and the resilience they demonstrate.
Dakota [:We appreciate your decision to join us today to gain insights and knowledge from the experiences of these courageous military women. Thank you for being here.
Kim [:Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries. Today, we are going to hear from Dakota Olson Harris, or also known as Captain Dakota, who is currently in the Army National Guard and is a co-founder of Reveille & Retreat Project and Dog Tag Diaries. Hi, Dakota.
Dakota [:Hi. Thanks for having me.
Kim [:Oh, yeah. This is fun because, you know, we have to set the example and tell our stories before we ask other women to tell theirs.
Dakota [:Yeah. Absolutely. That's really important, I think, for us to be able to do it first and kind of experience what it's like also.
Kim [:Yeah. It's pretty powerful.
Dakota [:Yeah.
Kim [:So, yeah, let's begin. Let's hear about you. Let's hear about your early years.
Dakota [:Yeah. So growing up, I lived in small towns. I was pretty shy and quiet, I also got in trouble, of course, hanging out with friends and doing stuff like that. But, yeah.
Kim [:So what led you into the military?
Dakota [:So I always felt like I wanted to be in the military. I joined while I was in high school, and I also knew that my parents wouldn't be able to help me with college. And so that was really a way to be able to pay for college and kind of get out of my little town.
Kim [:So when you say you were in in high school, is that ROTC? No.
Dakota [:I joined towards the end of my senior year and so did the delay program where you're able to still sign up, but you don't go to basic until after you graduate from high school.
Kim [:Oh, okay. So you went in as enlisted then?
Dakota [:Yes. Yep. Okay.
Kim [:What was your MOS?
Dakota [:So I was a 91 kilo, which is armament repair. So I went to AIT or advanced individual training to work on, like, the gun tubes of tanks and things like that.
Kim [:Oh, tell us more about that.
Dakota [:It was actually really fun. I really loved AIT. I met a lot of great people that I still talk to today, and it was just fun being able to get your hands dirty and learn something new. Just it was a great time. I really loved it.
Kim [:Where did you go to basic?
Dakota [:So basic, I went to Fort Jackson and AIT. I went to Aberdeen Proving Grounds in Maryland.
Kim [:Okay. I'm not familiar with the Aberdeen.
Dakota [:Yeah. I think it was recently shut down. I didn't know about it either, but it was very interesting experience. I think it it was like a 6 month long AIT. Oh. It was really long.
Kim [:Why was that?
Dakota [:Just because of the skillset that you had to learn and there's different tanks you had to work on and different skills you had to learn and you had to learn about the electrical system in it. So there was a lot to it.
Kim [:Oh gosh. Yeah, that sounds like a lot. I was curious when you were enlisted, if you were deployed as an enlisted soldier?
Dakota [:Yeah. So after AIT, my unit back in Oregon was deploying I think it was a few months after I got back from AIT.
Kim [:And what year was this?
Dakota [:2010. So, yeah, I graduated high school in 2009 and then yeah. Wow. That's a short timeline. I'm just realizing. And then went to basic, went to AIT, and then shortly after, like I said, a few months after, I went to Iraq for my first deployment. But the cool thing about the National Guard is usually you don't deploy and do the job that you're trying to do. They kind of just use you for whatever they need at the time.
Dakota [:So when I deployed, I was a gunner, a 240 bravo gunner, and we did convoy security in Iraq. We'd escort contractors that were carrying goods and stuff like that to other fobs throughout Iraq.
Kim [:Oh, gosh. Okay. Tell us about that because there had to be a lot of emotions Yeah. And a lot of activity.
Dakota [:Yeah. At first, you're really nervous and scared because they take you through training and they tell you to be prepared for IEDs, RPGs, just like everything. And so you're really, really scared and nervous when you first get there. But once you, like, settle into it, you know what to expect and I guess your nerves aren't as bad or heightened as you continue because it's just like your new normal, the way you're operating.
Kim [:Yeah. How do you think that affected you? I mean, that's a pretty intense environment to go into.
Dakota [:Yeah. You're really aware of what's going on around you. I mean, even to this day, I got back in 2011, like stacked rocks on the side of the road or, like, bags or going over underpasses. Like, I'm able to regulate myself, but you're still kind of aware of those things when you see them. It'll kind of kick you back because you went through so much training. They beat it into your head like, hey, this is what you'd look for, dead animals along the side of the road. There could be bombs in there. And so you're trained to look for those things because it's life or death if you're not able to spot it.
Dakota [:And then once you get back to United States, like, you're still mentally aware. But luckily, I'm not very heightened when it comes to that. Like, I'll notice it, but I'm able to regulate myself.
Kim [:Yeah. You said that about regulating. How did for you, because I know every soldier is different, how did you learn to regulate when you got back?
Dakota [:It took a while, but now I'm able to know where I am. Like I'm safe is what I tell myself, and I tell myself that's not like an indicator of an IED or I'm just able to kind of recognize where I am and my current situation and current time.
Kim [:Okay. Well, how long were you over in Iraq?
Dakota [:I believe it was 10 months.
Kim [:10 months?
Dakota [:Yeah.
Kim [:And then when you came home, how long did you notice that it took to kind of regulate yourself back into the civilian world?
Dakota [:It took a long time. When I first got back, I was very depressed, I would say, because when you get back, you kind of lose your sense of purpose. Cause while you're over there, you have your missions. You're a big part of everyone's safety. So as a gunner, if you're not doing your job, people can get killed because it's also your job to spot IEDs and be prepared to fight back. And so you're a big part of a team. But when I got back at night, I would just I would drink a lot and just cry and I was kind of isolated. And then I had a family friend who was the ROTC head guy in charge, McKim, he reached out and really encouraged me to do ROTC, which is in college, you do ROTC.
Dakota [:And I think that's really what helped me a lot because it gave me another sense of purpose going through the ROTC program. But it was also difficult because I lived in the dorms, and I felt like my maturity and the sense of where I was mentally and what I had been through was a lot different than what a lot of college age students go through or where their mental state is. So it was really hard. I was still very isolated in college, at least for the first year, I would say. So it was definitely a different experience going from combat, a deployment to Iraq, and then living in the dorms with a bunch of college age students is a big adjustment.
Kim [:Oh my goodness.
Dakota [:Yeah. That
Kim [:sounds like a lot of obstacles. And can you just tell the viewers what ROTC is in case there's non military listening?
Dakota [:Yeah. Reserved officer training corps. So, essentially, it's just, while you're attending college, you're able to train to become an officer in the military and you go through that and they'll give you scholarships to pay for your room and board and your college tuition. It's a really good program and you learn a lot.
Kim [:Yeah. It sounds like a good program, but I wanna keep trying to reintegrate back into society. And do you know how many other people that were there that were deployed in the ROTC program that you were in?
Dakota [:So I went to ROTC at Eastern Oregon University, which is in La Grande, Oregon. And it's a smaller program, which is great because you get more hands on training. But I actually had deployed with one of my ROTC instructors, And I think there's maybe 1 or 2 other people that had deployed, but a lot of the ROTC students hadn't deployed. And so it was good for me because I was able to bring my deployment experience into helping shape them as well, but it was also hard because I felt very passionate about certain things and they didn't understand why. But it always came back to safety. Like, you do this because if you don't do this, you could die or other people could die. And so I was very passionate about that, And a lot of people didn't understand why because they just hadn't experienced that.
Kim [:Yeah. If you haven't experienced it, it's very hard to understand. You can hear the person saying the words and trying to understand what they're saying, but I would think until you actually go over there and experience it, it's much different. So that sounds like it could be so frustrating for you. Yeah. Because you saw how scary it was and how dangerous it was. And of course, you wanna pass all that along because you don't want anyone to die over there. So
Dakota [:Yeah. And ROTC is about training officers who are in charge of other people.
Kim [:Yes.
Dakota [:And so, yeah, if they don't get that training or understand why, like I said, people can die or get hurt or things happen. So
Kim [:Yeah. So the main reason you wanted to go into ROTC was it was just a little push, right, from your commander?
Dakota [:So it was one of my family friends. I did cheerleading with his daughter and him and his wife really, like, looked after me and they really were big supports, but he reached out to me while I was still deployed and just really encouraged me to do ROTC. And even after I got back, he was very persistent in trying to get me in there. So
Kim [:I love that you had that support.
Dakota [:I know. Yeah. I couldn't imagine where it would be if I didn't.
Kim [:Yeah. Isn't it amazing how people just come into our lives and kind of help guide us
Dakota [:Yeah.
Kim [:Into a situation. It's up to us to like be aware of that opportunity and be like, oh, we need to take that because who knows what could have happened to you
Dakota [:Yeah.
Kim [:If you went another direction, stayed in that depressed feeling and kept drinking, and like so many of us do, because it's a great distractor. Not healthy, but it's a great distractor to take you away from those feelings.
Dakota [:Absolutely. Good. Yeah. A very familiar coping mechanisms, especially for people in the military, which is unfortunate because it's not a healthy one.
Kim [:Yeah. So when you were in ROTC, what did you study there?
Dakota [:While I did ROTC, I studied sociology. And then after ROTC, I got my master's in social work, and now I'm a counselor for veterans, military service members, and their families.
Kim [:That's awesome.
Dakota [:Yes. I love it.
Kim [:Oh my gosh. From your yes. Because you're so experienced. You went over there. You experienced it. And you had a second deployment. And was that as an officer?
Dakota [:Yes. I was an officer. I went to United Arab Emirates, and I'm a engineer officer, combat engineer officer. So we deal with demolition, things like that, and it's really fun.
Kim [:So you get to blow up things.
Dakota [:Yes. Absolutely.
Kim [:Oh.
Dakota [:Yeah.
Kim [:How does that feel?
Dakota [:It's good. I love it. It's never a dull moment because you're always playing with explosives and watching your soldiers learn and, yeah, I love it.
Kim [:So how would you incorporate that into your deployment? Like what kind of things do you blow up when you're over there? You said you were over in Dubai or
Dakota [:Yeah. Around that area.
Kim [:Okay.
Dakota [:So again, with the National Guard, you don't usually deploy with your AOC or your MOS. They usually just put you where they need you. So I was the mayor of the camp, which just means, like, I helped oversee it, make sure things were running smoothly. But it was really cool because we got to work with the Australian engineers, And so we got to do demolitions with them, see how they operate, and then we also got to wear their bomb suit and play with their robot. It was really fun and a good experience.
Kim [:What? Dakota, we need to talk more offline. I love all this. I wanna hear more stories then. So what else would you do over there?
Dakota [:We essentially just did Bob security, and then we also did HIMARS security, and then I was the mayor. But we got to integrate with the Emiratis and other countries. We played volleyball with Australia. It's just in the British. It was just really fun.
Kim [:It was
Dakota [:a good experience.
Kim [:Oh, yeah. You're definitely well rounded. So I know we had you had an experience that was very traumatic for you. If you can talk about that when you were over the first time and you were in your were you in the Humvees or
Dakota [:MaxPros or MRAPs.
Kim [:Okay.
Dakota [:So they're bigger military vehicles and they're up armored. So essentially they're safer is the idea. But I was in Iraq and we were doing convoy security and one of our trucks got hit with an RPG. And, essentially, what happened was my vehicle didn't have AC, which in Iraq is not a good thing. And so when this truck got hit, it was still mobile, but the gunner took very severe shrapnel to the neck and all over his body. And so, essentially, what happened is we switched vehicles because ours was deadlined essentially because it didn't have AC. And so I was put into the truck of where the gunner was hit. And that was really hard because at the time, it's very chaotic.
Dakota [:There's Iraq traffic on the other side of the road. People are watching. You're on high alert because you don't know if the person's still there or if you're gonna get hit again. So we were transferring vehicles. And then when I got up there, there was just blood all over the place, and the truck was really messed up from getting hit by the RPG. And I think it was really hard because at the time, you don't know if he survived or not because the helicopter came and took him away. And that's the last you know for a while and you still have to finish the mission. So that that was really hard.
Dakota [:And eventually, when we got back to the States, I think he really struggled with that and not knowing who did it or also, there was a video the Iraqis would like to record what happened. And so there's video of the RPG person actually shooting at our truck. And, like I said, we weren't able to find the person or anything like that. And that was also very difficult because there's this video out there and you see it happening, but you're not able to catch the person. So that was very difficult. But going back, like I said, when he got back to the states, he really struggled with that and ultimately ended up overdosing, and he's no longer with us. So that's really why I became so interested in being a counselor for veterans and military service members because I know what they go through and the struggles, and it's hard seeing your friends go through that and not being able to help them. And I also had an ex partner who really suffered from PTSD and just was so many medications and it really just masks what they're experiencing and what they're going through.
Dakota [:And he end up overdosing, like, 3 or 4 times, and I would find him, and that was really hard to see him go through that. Luckily, he's still alive. But, yeah, that's a lot of the reason why I became a a counselor.
Kim [:Yeah. Well, thank you because we're very lucky to have
Dakota [:you. Thank you.
Kim [:You're welcome. It sounds like there's so many traumas just built on one another. Like you were saying, you see the video, one of your soldiers gets blown up, they get taken away, you don't know what's going on with them, and then you have to continue to do the mission as now you've just been shot at and you have to keep going and you wonder if you're next. And my goodness, it just sounds like there's so many things that you would have to unpack when you would come back. And so were you able to connect with him once you came back from Iraq?
Dakota [:Not really. We lived in different cities, and, you know, we all went back to our to our own lives and tried to adjust back into civilian world. So it was pretty hard.
Kim [:Yeah. I can't even imagine. You're, you're taught in Basic to be such a cohesive unit and you just take one person out of it or a few people out of it and everything just changes and then you're in that traumatic environment. And so Yeah. What were some of the things then that you did to help reintegrate back into society and feel? I mean, I know you said that you went to ROTC. I know you said that you drank, but were you able to share your story back then?
Dakota [:I never really told anyone or really processed it because I think I tried to minimize my experience just because I'm a female and there's kind of this stigma around females being emotional. They shouldn't be in combat. And so I really tried to, like, suppress it and I didn't talk to anyone about it. And so I just dealt with it by drinking, staying busy. Like in college, I did ROTC. I did cheer and dance. I was student government. I just really threw myself into being busy.
Dakota [:But recently, I was finally able to talk to a therapist about it and process it. And I think that's really helped. I mean, well, for transparency, last time so we had to rerecord my session because it didn't record right the first time and I was very emotional. I cried. But this recording, this session, I'm able to talk about it without getting choked up. Obviously, it still bothers me, but I think that just speaks to the volume of being able to tell someone your story and what that does for your mental health. It helps you process it. It helps you get your truth out into the world of what you're struggling with, how it impacted you, and not to minimize what your experience was because it's your experience and it's valid.
Kim [:I do love that. And can we talk about how because I'm so proud of you. You talk about being introverted. And so as we spoke, Dakota is the cofounder of Reveille & Retreat Project and Dog Tag Diaries. And so how do you feel that starting this nonprofit helped? And then once we saw the women sitting and talking about their stories and being more vulnerable without males there, we decided to start Dog Tag Diaries as podcast. So why don't you talk about how that all of that helped you?
Dakota [:Yeah. So I think it's important to be an example. And so being able to record and tell my story about my military experience is very powerful, and hopefully it helps other women to do the same. I think it's very important to have a community and a support group for women, especially with what we go through as far as being discriminated or military sexual trauma, post traumatic stress disorder, and just being validated in our experience by other people who have experienced that as well is really important. And I'm really excited to offer that to other women. That way we can support each other and just validate each other's truth because that's gonna have a ripple effect. It'll not only help that woman, but it'll help her community, her children, help her relationship with her husband. Like, it's just generational healing is what it is.
Kim [:Oh, I love that.
Dakota [:So I'm excited to be a part of that.
Kim [:Well, thank you for being so brave to take this journey with me because I agree with you. It's the same thing. It feels so good when you get it out from inside, and you're just able to speak your truth and let other women know that they're not alone. And yeah, I wanna thank you so much.
Dakota [:Of course. Thanks for being my partner
Kim [:in this.
Dakota [:Definitely couldn't do it without you.
Kim [:And the same to you. We do have some wonderful news. Dakota just became a mom. And so this leads into our, next question. What advice would you give to a woman entering the military today? Because you did have a daughter, so what would you tell her if she decided to go in?
Dakota [:Yeah. So I was asked this question, I think, a few months back, and I really just stopped because I never thought about it before, especially having a daughter. I think the military has a lot to offer. I've had some really great experiences. I've gotten to go to South America, do training with Guyanese cadets, and it's a great experience. The military has a lot to offer. I think also just being able to advocate for yourself, trust yourself, trust your instincts. Protect yourself is really important because there are bad people out there in the military just like, you know, in the civilian world.
Dakota [:But, yeah, it's a hard question. As I think about it, like, she came to me and wanted to be in the military. Like, that's a big thing to commit to and be involved with. So I would support her, but just encourage her to protect herself, I guess.
Kim [:Yeah. That has to be so difficult. And because you experienced it, if she went in, being on the other side and being the one that is home and not knowing kind of well, you do know what's going on over there, but people sit home and wait for that phone call or just wait for the day that the soldier comes back home. I can't even imagine.
Dakota [:Yeah. Absolutely. Because I know when I deployed, like, we have a big ceremony. And after the ceremony, we all loaded up on buses and went to the airport. And one of my core memories is my mom, like, running along the bus, like, crying because she didn't want me to go. Yeah. So I couldn't imagine being on the other side of that. That would be really hard.
Kim [:Yeah. Oh, look at you. I love She's tearing up now. I know this is just audio, but she's tearing up now.
Dakota [:Yeah. But like I said, you know, the military has a lot to offer, but, yeah, there's still some bad in it. And I think also finding family within the military is really important to people that have your back and support you and can just help you through whatever you're going through.
Kim [:Very powerful, Dakota. That's really good insight. Thank you. While our interview is coming to a close, is there anything else that you wanted to share with our viewers?
Dakota [:Just thank you for listening. If you know a military woman that could benefit from just listening or that's interested in sharing her story, please encourage her to do so. It's really powerful, and there's healing that comes along with telling the story. Even if it feels really uncomfortable, there's a lot of benefit and healing that comes from that.
Kim [:Well, thank you for coming on to our show, Dog Tag Diaries, and we appreciate you.
Dakota [:Thank you.
Kim [:Thank you for tuning into Dog Tag Diaries. We appreciate your willingness to listen and engage with these stories as we understand the challenge that comes with sharing and hearing them. Your support in witnessing the experience of our military women is invaluable. These stories are meant to inspire and provide meaning, and we hope they can help you find your own voice as well.
Dakota [:If you or anyone you know are in need of immediate help, call the crisis line by dialing 988, then press 1. There are resources available to help and provide guidance during difficult times. Please visit our website, www.reveilleandretreatproject.org, to learn more about the Reveille and Retreat Project, including upcoming retreats for military women and resources. The link is in the show notes. We'll be here again next Wednesday. Keep finding the hope, the healing, and the power in community.
