From Air Force Leadership to New York Runways: A Veteran's Unexpected Adventures -66

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Captain Kim [: 00:00:01

From surviving childhood trauma to serving two decades in the United States Air Force, Jess Gonzalez's story is one of resilience, leadership, and legacy. In part two of her interview, Jess takes us deeper into her journey as a female First Sergeant, where compassion, service, and strength became her calling card. We made it Season 6 of Dog Tag Diaries where every military woman deserves a platform to tell her story and have it be heard. I'm your host, Captain Kim, and this community has already racked up over 4,500 downloads. So let's smash 5K together, share these episodes, and help us make season six our biggest yet. In this episode of Dog Tag Diaries, we continue our powerful conversation with retired United States Air Force First Sergeant and community advocate Jess Gonzalez. Part one closed with a moment of silence for Jess's personal losses of her mother and twin babies, Christian and Junior, honoring the deep resilience that has shaped her path. Now in part two, we pick up with Jess legacy of leadership, her service as a female First Sergeant, and the lessons she carries forward, and her service to veterans in her community.

Captain Kim [: 00:01:31

During her 20 year career, Jess served at nine installations, held three Air Force specialty codes, deployed to Afghanistan, and became a trusted lifeline for thousands of airmen. Her story is a testament of leading with both strength and compassion. Jess, welcome back.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:01:50

Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much for having me back, Captain Kim.

Captain Kim [: 00:01:53

Oh, my gosh. Absolutely. Your story last week was so empowering and there was so much more. I felt like we needed to hear from your story. But I do want to start with this. If anybody follows Jess Gonzalez on Facebook, her dances as a way of just releasing stress is adorable. And the reason it caught my eye is because I do the same thing. What a great way to just enjoy music and your body and release all that stress by dancing and expressing yourself.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:02:33

That is too funny. Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. I have, you know, with my two left feet and all, I have no issues getting out there. It may take me about five to 10 takes to get it somewhat right, but it really does something for my soul, for my spirit to just do it and then just post it and just see what joy, if any, it brings someone else, you know, and it might be my sister poking fun at me, which she's known for, and it's cool. That's my sister. She can do that. Or just, you know, just like I said, the pure joy that it brings people. So, Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:03:08

Well, it really does, Jess, because I didn't feel good today and I watched your video and I was like, you know what? I'm just Gonna get up and dance too, because it just really is contagious. And I was like, I'm going to do this too. And I actually tried to mimic your moves.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:03:28

I love it.

Captain Kim [: 00:03:30

So thank you for bringing that.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:03:31

You're welcome.

Captain Kim [: 00:03:33

Yeah. And I want to get into this other part of your story or the continuation of your story, because last week you shared some really heavy stuff. My goodness. Like stillbirth of Christian and Junior and the death of your mom and then the trials and tribulations you have as a woman in the military. So let's continue with that.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:03:59

Absolutely, let's do it.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:02

Yeah. So last week, we. We finished with you, ended up getting promoted to first sergeant. And so let's talk about that journey.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:04:11

Yes, of course. So got selected, went to the First Sergeant Academy and graduated in February of 2016.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:21

Can I ask how many women were in that academy with you?

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:04:24

Oh, gosh, I don't recall the exact number, but I will say that the men definitely outnumbered the women of, you know, number of first sergeants that were going through the academy with me. But. Yeah, but once I graduated, I reported to my first duty station, which was Laughlin Air Force Base in Del Rio, Texas. Bordertown base. And, you know, when I initially got there, the initial plan was to plug me in with the cops, with the Defenders, the security forces squadron. And my initial response to that was, wow, you guys are gonna really throw me out to the wolves for my first unit. Right. Because they say the units you don't wanna have first are the cops and your maintainers.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:05:04

But, you know, I was like, all right, let's go. Let's do this. And so not even three days into me being on the base, they changed their minds. They say, you know what, we're actually going to go ahead and plug you in over at the medical group. And not only are you going to have the medical group, you are also going to be overseeing the wing staff agencies, which are, you know, your airmen from, like, the inspector general, public affairs, legal, all the way up to the wing commander. You're the first sergeant for that wing commander.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:33

Well, wait, did something happen that they decided to take you off the.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:05:37

So nothing with me personally. There was a shift. One of my other fellow first sergeants ended up getting an assignment to relocate to a different duty station. And so, of course, our command chief, who's our functional manager, you know, he had to. Well, she, at the time, she had to, you know, make some changes. And so that caused for me to be moved over to the medical group.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:58

How interesting. Because you Wanted to be a nurse.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:06:02

Exactly. Okay.

Captain Kim [: 00:06:04

Very excited.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:06:04

Yes. And considering, you know, that I used to work for the medics, you know, once upon a time at hr, I was very familiar with the culture, so it was easy peasy. But I will tell you that that particular unit kept me very busy. In my first nine months as a diamond wearer. My most significant situation that I assisted with was, I would say, not even a week into me being in the position, I had a military spouse come into my office with an officer from a different department to basically let me know that there were some domestic violence type issues occurring within the home. And so, you know, you're fresh out of the schoolhouse, and I'm just like jotting down all my notes, right? And so at the end of it, you know, I just let her know, hey, we're here to help you. We're not just here for the active duty member, you know, and just kind of, you know, get everything rolling, right. The no contact orders, which she didn't necessarily want, but, you know, just kind of educating her that that's unfortunately what needed to happen.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:07:07

That particular case, like I said, lasted about nine months. And in those nine months, you know, there was a point where I needed to drive this spouse to an appointment in San Antonio, Texas, because Del Rio to San Antonio is only two and a half hours away. Because having the family. Family advocacy appointment take place in Del Rio would have been a conflict of interest because the airmen kind of worked in that office. And so I had recommended to the leadership that we needed to go somewhere else. And so anyway, took her to the appointment. And on our way back, something that I would have never envisioned happening to me in my time as a first sergeant happened something that the schoolhouse would never prepare you for, and that's that the spouse ended up becoming suicidal. In my vehicle, as we are driving down 90, all the way down to Del Rio, I was maybe, maybe a good 30 minutes away, 30, 40 minutes away from arriving back to the installation where I noticed some behavioral changes in the spouse.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:08:10

You know, I tried to get this individual's mind off of the situation. I said, give me your hands. You know, I got your six. I'm not going to let you go. The palms are super sweaty. Tried to remind this individual of all the happy times from their childhood to their young adult life. And nothing that I could do could get this individual's mind off of what they wanted to do. And so, you know, it's kind of like you're focusing on the road, but you're not.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:08:36

So when I finally decided to focus on the road. I realized there was a sheriff right in front of me. And so I immediately sped up in front of the sheriff, pulled over to the side. He pulled up behind me, got out the vehicle, told that spouse not to move. The spouse's children were actually in my vehicle as well. They were taking a nap in the backseat. And so I let the sheriff know, who happened to have been off duty. And I realized that because he had his son in the passenger seat.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:08:59

So, you know, just kind of let the sheriff know, hey, here's the situation. I have someone who is trying to do something that I don't want her to do. Help me. And so we got her out of the vehicle. We tried to calm her down, you know, because she was on a rush, right? And so she tried to bolt into the road on me, so I had to snatch her back. And then she noticed that the individual was strapped with their weapon. So she had made a comment that she was going to go for said weapon. And so I literally had to, like, embrace her and say, we're not doing that.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:09:30

We're not doing that. You know, you have two little ones that really, really need you. We're going to get you the help that you need. And so we managed to calm her down. We put her in the backseat with the children, put the childproof locks on the vehicle. I had the sheriff follow me until maybe 10 miles away from the installation because, of course, he couldn't go out of his jurisdiction. We ended up taking this individual right to the local hospital, got admitted, got sent right back towards San Antonio so that they can get the care that they needed. And, yeah, that was very traumatic.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:10:00

I was literally driving super close to my steering wheel because I wasn't sure what this person was going to do while I'm driving. Right. If they're having these thoughts, are they going to, like, come at me? Are we now going to potentially end up crashing somewhere together? So it was a very traumatic experience for me, but I managed somehow to keep my composure despite all the nerves that I had within me to get her to safety, to not just get her to safety, but to get her children to safety as well.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:30

You are a true hero. I just want to let you know, because even though, like you said, they don't give you that training, when you go into First Sergeant school and the promotions, you really did do everything right. And it seemed like everything aligned. There was a sheriff in front of you. You were able to ask him for help.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:10:51

Yeah, yeah. And I let her know I Got your six. Because I have a tattoo on me that says, I got your six. And I got it shortly after, a very dear friend of mine died to suicide. You know, and then, of course, the twitch. She was the face of the 22 a day. Back in 2015, she became the face of 22 a day. And, you know, like I said, I got the tattoo because I vowed to myself that, you know what? I want to be there for people.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:11:18

Like, you know, people weren't always necessarily there for me as I was growing up. And it's not because people couldn't. It's just because maybe they didn't come equipped with the right tools to be there for me in the way that I needed them to be. So I couldn't necessarily fault people, right? And that's also something that I learned as I was growing up, right As I was still maturing, you know, learning and evolving. That was the most trying time in my time as a first. I didn't. I mean, I was busy. But, you know, I got to experience some pretty amazing things as well.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:11:48

You know, being able to celebrate promotions and birthdays and being able to go visit a family that just gave birth to a baby and taking them a gift. You know, whether it's just me or I'm taking the command team with me to go say welcome to the family. You're now a new engineer, baby engineer, honorary medic. You know, whatever the case might be, helping families during the holidays that might be struggling, you know, finding resources that we could provide them with. You know, when I was stationed at Davis Monthan, Raytheon was a big advocate for our installation. And during the holidays, you know, they would ask us first sergeants, provide them a list of airmen that could use a little bit of extra love. And so with that, that some of them were receiving gift cards, well over 3, $400 worth of gift cards on top of gifts from the angel tree that we as first sergeants put out at the basics change. So just those things.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:12:43

And then I was, you know, as I was telling you at our prior discussion, I was termed the mama bear of the organization, because just like with our own children, if you mess with mine, my claws are going to come out. I'm very protective of my airmen. Like, what do you mean? My medic did this or did that, or my engineer said, what? Like, are you sure? Like, give me the source before you start trying to dog my airmen.

Captain Kim [: 00:13:07

Well, those are your troops. Those are your airmen. If you're not going to invest in them, you're not Going to see the benefits of all of that. And you are this empathetic. You have a big heart. And I can tell even when you're telling this story, that you really invested in your troops.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:13:26

Oh, no, for sure. And so much so that, you know. Well, before I get to that, you know, I was also the cookie for Sargent. So I was always for the birthdays, I would run my rosters. I'm like, all right, I have 10 airmen who have birthdays this month. And I would find the local cookie lady and I say, I need so many cookies in the shape of a diamond, in the shape of a balloon, just something. And I would just say, happy birthday. And I would go surprise them with set cookie.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:13:54

And to just be able to see, see the pure joy in their faces over a simple sugar cookie was like, so cool. So cool.

Captain Kim [: 00:14:02

That's going above and beyond.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:14:04

That is going above and beyond other people. Like when people would come to replace me because you rotate out ever so many months, so anytime you would rotate, you know, you make have a replacement that is not going to be like you. And that's okay. Right. Because everybody operates differently. Right?

Captain Kim [: 00:14:20

That's right.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:14:21

They would look at me and they would be like, sure. I hope they don't think that I'm going to be bringing them cookies or that. That I'm gonna have a candy jar out here or that I'm gonna decorate the office. And I'm like, it's okay. At the end of the day, it's not about any of those things. It's about making sure that we as first sergeants are taking the time and making the effort to get to know these airmen beyond the uniform. Right. We talked about this before.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:14:48

Who is Emily?

Captain Kim [: 00:14:50

Right. Who is she?

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:14:51

Right. So if I get to know who Emily is, what makes her tick, what are her passions, et cetera, then that's going to flow into Airman Young in uniform. Right. And so I know if opportunities come down the channels for something. You know what? I just had a conversation with Emma Young, and she told me she's super passionate about singing. Well, hey, Emma Young, here's an opportunity to sing the national Anthem at the Air Force Ball. Would you be interested? Right. Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:15:20

You empower them. You find out their strengths and you empower them. I love that. As your leadership skill.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:15:26

Yep, yep. And sometimes you, you know, you come across one that's super shy. And trust me, I know that because once upon a time, I was the one that was, don't touch me. I'm in my corner. I don't want to be bothered, but being able to find ways. You know, we talked about empowering. Right, Empowering. That's so important.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:15:43

You know, finding ways to empower, to encourage, and to get them to think outside the box. And that for myself, was very hard in the beginning of my career, but it was allowing myself to come out of my comfort zone, if and when, that I could, that helped me to evolve as an individual. Right. And it caused me to be the person that I am today. And I say that quite frequently because once upon a time, you would never see me do a dance video like that. No. No, ma'am.

Captain Kim [: 00:16:10

Okay.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:16:10

You know, and my family will tell you, like, who are you? Like, you know, I got up on a counter one time and friends are like, what are you doing? What if you fall? Like, who's going to call 911 for you? That type of stuff. So. Yeah. So doing the same thing for my airmen. Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:16:28

Okay. So you have done so much for your airmen, and then even after your service. Is there anything else you want to talk about before we. At the first Sergeant?

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:16:37

Yeah. So I would say as a. As a first sergeant, we talk a lot about all of the time that we invest in our airmen. Right. And a lot of what our airmen go through, we take on as well. And so I had reached the point in my time as a first sergeant where. Which, by the way, a first sergeant tour, once upon a time used to be three year tour. Now it's four for the Air Force.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:16:59

And I feel like. Well, I know that more than three years is too much. You know, especially if you're plugged into units that always have something going on, it could be emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally exhausting for that first sergeant. And I had a total of seven units in my time as a first sergeant in those almost four years. And most of the time I was dual had it. And so it was very overwhelming in a good and in a bad way for me. And it eventually started to take a toll on my mental health. You know, I had my own mental health adversities before I even put on the diamond.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:17:32

But because I was taking on so much of what my airmen were going through, you know, I had a situation where I almost had an anxiety attack because I had an airman who kept trying to pull the suicidal ideation card because they didn't want to go work, they didn't want to be a firefighter. So they're like, we're going to pull this SI card every single time. And it just really. It really Got to me because one, that's not something that you play around with, that it's a very serious situation. Two, I've lost some very important people in my fate, in my life to suicide. And three, is like, okay, enough is enough. Like it was just too much for me. And so I ended up going to my leadership and just letting them know, I think it's time.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:18:10

I'd like to request removal of the diamond early. And I initially wanted to remove it, I think it was five months early. But my commander at the time, who was amazing, along with the functional manager, the command chief, they had asked me if I would be willing to wait until 30 days before my four year mark and that they would work with me to lessen my workload a little bit, just so that we didn't have to go through certain channels to get the approvals, right. And I was okay with that as long as they were going to back up what they were saying. And they did, you know, they, they put, they put things in place to relieve me of some of the workload that I had and allowed me to really take care of me.

Captain Kim [: 00:18:53

And how did you do that? Because five months is still a lot of time to take on all that energy.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:18:59

So it wasn't easy because I don't know how to let go of stuff. But I was able to do it because I had a good support system in place. My additional duty first sergeants, they really rallied around me, especially once they found out everything that I was going through at the time. And you know, some of them scolded me. They're like, how dare you go through so much and not talk to us? You know, it's okay to not be okay as a first sergeant. You're always preaching that to us, right? Shirt. So why are you not doing that for yourself? And I said, you know what, you're right. I said, but on the same, on the same token, I didn't want to feel as though I was going to be a burden upon somebody.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:19:35

I didn't want to get to a point where now my commander is looking at me and saying, you know what, I'm losing confidence in you to be a first sergeant because you've got all these stuff going on. I wanted to be able to go out on my own accord, not because somebody else feels as though I can't do the job right. And so but yeah, just having that support system. And if they saw that I was trying to still dip in there, they'd be like, Jess San Clerman, Gonzalez, go. We got it. And so that really, truly helped. You know, my additional duty first sergeants that I had at Davis Monthan at my last unit, which was the civil Engineer squadron, could not have asked for a better team and my time as a first sergeant than the ones that I had there. I love that.

Captain Kim [: 00:20:19

I love that you had that huge support system. Yeah. And you listened.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:20:24

Yes, I did. I listened to.

Captain Kim [: 00:20:29

I want to talk about. One of your most memorable personal achievements was competing in a pageant and winning the Royal Productions people choice title.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:20:40

Yes, ma'am.

Captain Kim [: 00:20:42

What is that? It sounds like a huge accomplishment.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:20:46

Oh, yes, ma', am. It is. It has been. And I will tell you what. This was never in my deck of cards to do in my life. Never. Like, so I used to be a part of an organization that put the opportunity out there. To me, you know, one of them has competed in pageants before.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:21:05

They're like, you know what? We'd be good for this. You really exude our mission, vision, and purpose. You're the right person to get our organization out there front and center. You should think about it. And I was like, have you lost your mind like me?

Captain Kim [: 00:21:19

What is our mission and purpose?

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:21:22

So it was an organization that was about empowering women, veterans, elevating and all that. Right. Which, yes, I did. Live, breathe, dream, sleep, all of it. Yes, that was me. But being in a pageant, I was like, no, I'm a behind the scenes type of gal. Like, there's no way. Right? But here I am.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:21:43

I'm retired from the military. I had been retired about two years at that point. You know, very, very involved with the different nonprofit organizations here in San Antonio. Always looking for ways to come out my box even more. And so I was like, you know what, Jess? Why not? You don't know what you're capable of until you actually do it. Right. And you're always telling people that there is more to our identity than the uniform that we wore for 20 years, so why not? And so I just filled out the application. I was supposed to compete in 2023, but I ended up deferring.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:22:19

So I competed in 24, and I was actually competing in the national sorority category. And so I. For my first pageant ever, I didn't have a coach. You know, I had one mentor that came online about a month or so beforehand. I had sponsors for my dress, which was gorgeous, a beautiful dress. And I just showed up. You know, I put in for whatever optionals were available. So I put in for cover model.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:22:46

I put in portfolio photogenic. I ended up winning cover model so my picture, my 11 by 16 was posted at the entrance of the pageant. That was cool. I won first place for most photogenic in the actual category that I was competing in. I was first runner up. I received the director's award, Miss Congeniality. I won the perseverance award essay as well as the women in strength essay.

Captain Kim [: 00:23:18

How many women win that many categories?

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:23:23

Probably not that many in terms of, like, awards and stuff. Probably not that many. You know, my. One of my competitor liaisons, she was like, Jessica, you're gonna leave anything for anybody else? And I said, well, you know what they say in Texas, right? Go big or go home. So I said, I didn't think I was going to be that successful in those areas. Right. But, you know, it really showed me that, wow, anything is possible if I just do it right. And with the People's Choice, that is an overall for the pageant system.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:23:55

And the person who gets selected as the People's Choice Queen is as a result of not just the vote of the people, but the individual that was able to raise the most awareness and funds towards the domestic violence awareness platform. And that's very near and dear to my heart considering, you know, some of the things that we've discussed. And also in my time as a first sergeant helping airmen and families that were going through that as well. And even post service, coming across different people from all different walks of life that have had to deal with this type of adversity. So I was very, very passionate about it. And so, yeah, so I ended up being crowned People's Choice Queen Royal Productions. And my reign is actually over. On.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:24:40

I will be traveling to Roswell, Georgia, on the weekend of the 24th of this month to go crown whoever my successor is going to be.

Captain Kim [: 00:24:49

Oh, my gosh, this is all so amazing. I want to know, like, once you won all these awards, and it's not about the winning, right, or the crown, but it's about what it does inside. It really makes you realize, like, yeah, there is more to me. And what have you noticed over this last year then that you have ventured into?

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:25:15

I've noticed that there's so much more to me that I still haven't explored, that more doors are going to open for me that I didn't think were ever going to open. Such as I got to be a mentor to someone who was looking to start a nonprofit organization. And this was someone that I met through the Padgett system. You know, I maybe had dialogue with this individual for maybe two times, and they found me afterwards and they're like, there's just something about you that really drew me to you. Your energy. Like, do you have any experience in this? Would you mind mentoring me? Sure. I said, I'm not the subject matter expert at everything, but I will do my very best to guide you in any way, shape, or form that I can. And so I also got opportunities to travel and judge pageants.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:26:05

I most recently was afforded an opportunity to be featured on a billboard during New York Fashion Week. So I was on a billboard in Times Square, and I got to strut the Runway as well for a couple of designers. And I am not a model. Not a model at all. But I was like, wow. Like, this is my life. This is so cool. And it's just.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:26:32

Like I said, it just reiterates that there's just so much more to me than I thought I was. Right.

Captain Kim [: 00:26:38

Yeah.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:26:39

I thought I was just. Jessica de Jesus Gonzalez Fleurimont, military veteran. I'm a mother. I'm a community advocate and all that. I'm a friend. I'm a mentor. I'm an educator in some ways. Right.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:26:53

Facilitator. But there's so much more to me. I'm still, like, evolving, and I'm just like, okay, what's next? Like, you know, And I do have a couple of other projects that I'm working on. More opportunities that were presented to me, and not gonna spoil it. You guys will have to wait and see what those projects are.

Captain Kim [: 00:27:15

We'll have to have you back on then once. Once you launch them.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:27:19

Yes, ma'am.

Captain Kim [: 00:27:20

Yeah. But you've also been part of. My goodness, Women Veterans of San Antonio. The mission continues. Operation gratitude, the cohort 8 of the beneath the Service. Women Veterans Leadership Program.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:27:37

Yes. So Women Veterans of San Antonio, that was one of the very first nonprofits that I got involved with when I retired. And that's because one of my former coworkers, she ended up retiring here in San Antonio, and she was the president of the organization. And she knew, you know, she followed me. She's like, jess, if you're looking for something, we got you. And so I thought that that was cool. So here's a group of women veterans from all different walks of life that come together once a month, twice a month, and they are out there advocating for women veterans, feeding and clothing, you know, homeless veterans, you know, just being involved. Right.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:28:16

And it really helped me to stay connected, because when you transition out of the military, it's not always easy. Life slows down in ways that we never thought or ways that we never anticipated. And sometimes we struggle to find our footing. Right. For those of us like me that suffer from severe anxiety and depression, amongst other visible challenges, you know, sometimes it's difficult to adjust. So being able to kind of have that network there for me was amazing. And so then there's Operation Gratitude, which is another nonprofit here in San Antonio. And their mission is to, every five weeks, I think is when they come together, they bring in a pool of willing volunteers to build about 600.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:29:00

It might be more than that, care packages or I love you bags or we care for you bags. And these are for the newest recruits that are graduating from basic training before they get on the bus to head to their technical training on a plane. And here's your bag. And it's got some goodies and it's got some, you know, stuff to just kind of keep them entertained. And then once again, you are around other community advocates and just being able to have that dialogue. That's Operation Gratitude. And then the Women Veterans Leadership Program, which is sponsored by Beneath the Service, that's another nonprofit that was founded by two army veterans, the husband and wife, and they've got their board. And so every year they host the WBLP.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:29:46

And it is an application process, right, where you have to basically tell them your why, like, what are you searching for? How do you feel you could benefit from this program? You know, and they're all essay based type questions. And then of course, it goes before the board and they select. And so from what we were told for this cohort, there were a total of about 800 applicants, but they can only select 40. So out of 800 applicants, I was one of 40 who was selected for the program.

Captain Kim [: 00:30:18

I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:30:20

Yes, ma'am. And it's a five month program. It kicks off in D.C. where you get to meet all your fellow cohort members together. They do the kickoffs, they celebrate you. And I mean, and they touch on every single aspect of leadership that you can think of. And most of us that actually all of us that were in this cohort are working on some form of projects, right? And so the tools that you receive, not just from the facilitators that were brought online, which were all amazing, but just your fellow cohort members, you know, hey, so I'm struggling with getting financing for this.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:30:59

Oh, I got you here, let me get your phone number. Let me connect you. Just those type of things. And just, you know, and there were definitely lots of tears that were shed, right? Because it gives you an Opportunity to speak about you and your story and the adversities that you've had to face. And it just reassures you once again that you're not alone. And so we just graduated from that in September, so it calls it in D.C. so the beginning and the end are both in D.C. and in the middle, we do virtual sessions together with different facilitators.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:31:29

So an amazing, amazing program. Their Cohort 9 applications are actually going to be opening up on Veterans Day. So for any women veteran that is interested, you know, if they just go to the link that I'm sure you'll provide beneath the service.org just go out there and apply and just see what happens. And if any questions, please, you know, they can hit me up and I would be more than happy to give them more of a, you know, personal testimony of that program and what it'll do for them, what I believe it will do for them.

Captain Kim [: 00:31:59

Well, we will have all those links in the show notes for sure. And thank you for letting them know that they can reach out to you as well.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:32:06

Yes, ma'am.

Captain Kim [: 00:32:07

Because it's a scary time, right? Like, the unknown. And getting back involved in a community of women veterans can be scary for some women.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:32:18

Yes. No, absolutely. So there were a couple of women, and I was actually one of them, believe it or not, that it took a minute for us to speak up, because you're in a room with a whole bunch of other empowering women veterans, right? So there's that intimidation factor that kicks you in and you're like, oh, my God, how can I even follow that? Right? Or how do I word it properly? Because sometimes I don't know what brevity even means, and sometimes I'll ramble and then I'm like, am I going to lose them? Right? Because I'm not getting to the point, right? But like I said, an amazing experience, such a supportive group of women. I actually came forward and asked them, you know, if they would be willing to join me in wearing the color Purple when we came together in September in preparation for the upcoming observation month of domestic violence awareness. And all of them joined me, and if for some reason they didn't own a color Purple, the Beneath the Service team, they actually bought the pins. So you could either wear the purple ribbon or you could wear the actual color purple. So it was just so amazing to just know that I could count on them for their support. And I actually got up and spoke to them and just kind of really let them know how important that was to me and.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:33:33

And not Just to me, but to any other woman or man. Because domestic violence doesn't just affect women, but to any individual that is currently dealing with, has dealt with, has survived it. And also in honor of those that we lost, unfortunately, to the domestic violence.

Captain Kim [: 00:33:51

I am in awe of you. I mean, I know you fill out your questionnaire and we come on the podcast, but really, you're such an amazing leader. Not just because you lead by example, but you really care and really learn. Like, you said your motto was learning what's beyond the uniform. Because there's a human there. And once you really start investing in that human, they just bloom. Kind of like you.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:34:26

Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:34:27

When you said you were more of a shy girl, and one of the women was like, hey, Jess. No. Your personality, your energy. Let's go get you rolling. And next thing you know, you're in this pageant, and you're winning more titles than any other women probably did. Like, that's amazing.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:34:46

And then walking a Runway, like, who would have ever thought me in New York during Fashion Week, walking a Runway or just being up on a billboard, it was like, wow, that's me. Oh, my God.

Captain Kim [: 00:34:56

Can you take us back to that moment of walking when they, like, did they unravel the curtains? And then you walk.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:35:06

So everything in Times Square now is digital, right? And so it was every hour on the hour. You had to, like, be perfect with your timing, because if not, you were going to miss it. So it's like a rolling. It's like a rolling billboard. Right? And so the way I did was it was one of the really, really tall skyscrapers, and there were a total of three billboards, and they were kind stacked. So I. So there's one all the way here, and then there's one here, and then one at the bottom. Right.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:35:33

So I was the one at the very top. So I was like, oh, that's cool. Not only am I on a billboard, but I'm at the one at the very top. So everybody's definitely gonna see me if they catch me. Right. But it was cool. You know, we had some ladies that had arrived there a couple of days before I did, and some of the other women. And so they got to see it, and of course, they take the pictures and the videos.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:35:53

But it's one thing when you see it in a picture, in a video, and it's completely different experience when you get to see it for yourself.

Captain Kim [: 00:36:00

Yeah.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:36:01

And even my sister, she just went to New York. It's like a week later, and she was in Times Square. She's like, she sent me a video. She's like, sister, where's your billboard? I don't see it. I'm like, she go, boo, it's gone. I'm like, yeah, Sister is only up for New York Fashion Week. And then afterwards is gone.

Captain Kim [: 00:36:18

What did it feel like when you were walking like, this was your time and you were the chosen one to walk on the Runway?

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:36:30

I was scared, so I walked twice. So there were a total of 15 groups. I was group 11 and 15. My first dress, I was in a blue bodycon type dress. I didn't know what the heck I was about to walk into, how many people were there, the lights, the music, just everything. So I was very nervous on my first. And like I said, I'm not even a model. So I'm like, am I doing my walk right? Is my catwalk right? Am I moving my hips right? Am I giving them face? You know? But my second walk with the Now I'm in a red dress, and I think I was able to embody my mom's spirit while in this red dress, because my mom's name was Rosa, and she loved the color red, and she loved red roses.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:37:17

And so when I got that dress, I was like, wow, okay, this is symbolic to me, right? And it was just something about being in that red dress that when I went out there, I don't know if it was a combination of the red dress. And now I know what to expect, man. Like, my fellow sisters that were there, they're like, all right, Jessica, you give them face, you will feel like you was doing your thing on that second walk. And I was just like, I know. This is so cool, right? Man, it was just a very overwhelming feeling to just be in that environment with so many other amazing, beautiful women. I mean, women of all different shapes and sizes. And I'm all about that. I'm all about diversifying and just the melting pot, right? Because once upon a time, when you think model, you think Victoria's Secret skinny have to, like, no curve, no no fat, no nothing.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:38:21

Right now to just see how the world has, you know, evolved in the way where women of all different shapes and sizes are afforded these opportunities is such an amazing feeling. I love it.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:34

Isn't it? Because women for so long have really suffered with body image issues and eating disorders and all the things because of how we're supposed to look. And so to be with all those women with all the different sizes, like you said, and ethnicities and looks like, it is so beautiful.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:38:57

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:57

I am so Happy.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:59

You got to experience that.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:39:01

Thank you. Thank you.

Captain Kim [: 00:39:02

Yeah, I want to experience that, you.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:39:05

Know, And I will say I have to give a shout out to my dear friend Sharita. You know, she is the founder of Authentique Beauty's brand. You know, she is the beautiful lady that I met at the pageant who has afforded me these opportunities and she is just out there doing her thing. She's just amazing. And I honestly don't think that I would have had these opportunities if I would have never met her, if she wouldn't have seen something in me. So, you know, for that, Sharita, if you're listening to this, just thank you for being who you are and just thank you for just giving women like us an opportunity to shine. Thank you.

Captain Kim [: 00:39:46

I want to thank Sharita too. Well, Jess, like, I really just want to thank you so much for being such an empowering woman, for believing in yourself and taking chances and seeing where your life can go because it is beautiful. And now you have so many things on the horizon which when you drop them, we are going to bring you back and make sure that we hear all about these so other women can get involved too, because it sounds like it's going to be for women. And do you see how I'm prying, seeing if you drop any?

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:40:24

Not giving it away, man. No, no. But you know what? I would like to say that, you know, my journey has been an amazing journey. You know, it's. Yes, it was marked by hardship, service, loss and love, but it just reminds me daily that the leg, that legacy is not in titles or medals, but in the lives that we impact and that we as humans should be confident in being able to walk boldly in our own stories, you know, because for every step taken with purpose, it leaves a mark of resilience and hope for others to come after us or even, you know, to honor those before us, you know, And I just want to say thank you to you for affording me this opportunity. A very special shout out to my sisters, my dad, my family, all of my fellow women veterans, sisters, my son, my pride and joy, my purpose. There's just so many people that have really been instrumental in my life. You know, my best friends, you know, I just, you know, it's just so many people.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:41:28

So if I for, if I forgotten out about it, charge it to my mind, not my heart, and just know that, you know, I love each and every single one of you and that I feel like my journey is just beginning and I'm looking forward to how it continues to unfold and being able to bring people along that journey with me.

Captain Kim [: 00:41:47

That is so beautifully said, and we're looking forward to watching it unfold as well, because your story is a true testament to resilience, compassion, and the power of authenticity. So thank you again for taking time for being on Dog Tag Diaries and we will meet again.

Jess Gonzalez [: 00:42:06

Yes ma'am. I look forward to it. Thank you so much.

Captain Kim [: 00:42:13

That's a wrap on today's episode of Dog Tag Diaries Season 6 Baby!

Captain Kim [: 00:42:18

We're gunning for 5,000 downloads and 26 Apple reviews and I know we can get there with your help. Share these episodes Leave a review and let's show the world how powerful military women warrior voices really are.