How Major Mom found Enjoyment and Success: From Chaos to Order -28
In this episode of Dog Tag Diaries, Major Mom, a remarkable guest whose journey from a tumultuous childhood to a flourishing professional career is nothing short of inspiring. Host Captain Kim explores how Major Mom's frequent relocations, financial hardships, and the disruptive environment of her youth built her into the resilient and adaptable leader she is today. From her early days grappling with stability issues to securing a full scholarship through Air Force ROTC, Major Mom’s story is a captivating narrative of overcoming adversity. Discover her path to becoming a missile combat crew commander and later, a professional organizer, where she turned chaos into organized success. Tune in to hear about the highs, the lows, and invaluable lessons learned along the way.
Angela Cody, aka Major Mom®, is the founder of Major Organizers®, a residential organizing company she launched in 2005 after leaving a 14-year career in the US Air Force, where she served as a satellite operator and missile combat crew commander, earning the rank of Major. Inspired to pursue a more family-focused life, Angela turned her passion for creating order into a successful business, now operating teams in Colorado and Indiana. She holds a BA in Speech Communication from Indiana University and an MBA from the University of Colorado. She is a long-time member of NAPO and Faithful Organizers and has served in leadership roles within both organizations. An advocate for balance, Angela combines her military precision with a deep understanding of the challenges parents face in managing home and career. Through her speaking engagements, she motivates and equips families to declutter their lives and create harmonious, functional spaces.
Social Media Links:
- Facebook: The Major Mom
- Website: www.MajorMom.biz
Books by Angela Cody:
- Kid-Friendly Car Organizing Tips
- Organizing Your Weight Loss
- Laundry Organizing Tips
- Home Organization Tips
Special Topics:
- The importance of mentorship for women in the military.
- How her military discipline translates into entrepreneurial success.
- Strategies for balancing career and family as a working mom.
Be sure to follow or subscribe to Dog Tag Diaries wherever you listen to podcasts.
Learn more about Reveille and Retreat Project:
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Veteran crisis line: Dial 988 then press 1, chat online, or text 838255.
Transcript
NOTE:
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Captain Kim [:From managing nuclear weapons in the United States Air Force to managing household chaos as Major Mom, story is a testament to resilience, adaptability, and purpose. Join us as she shares her journey through a challenging childhood, a high stress military career and her mission to bring order to families everywhere. This is an episode packed with inspiration, insight and a few laughs. Don't miss it. Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries, where military women share true stories. We are your hosts, Captain Kim.
Captain Dakota [:And Captain Dakota. The stories you are about to hear are powerful. We appreciate that you have joined us and are eager to learn more about these experiences and connect with the military women who are willing to share their stories in order to foster community and understanding.
Captain Kim [:Military women are providing valuable insight into their experiences, struggles, and triumphs. By speaking their truth, they contribute to a deeper understanding of the challenges they face and the resilience they demonstrate.
Captain Dakota [:We appreciate your decision to join us today to gain insights and knowledge from the experiences of these courageous military women. Thank you for being here.
Captain Kim [:A powerful professional organizer and former Air Force Major who's on a mission to restore order to the world, one household at a time. Major mom has spent 14 years in the air force as a satellite operator and missile combat crew commander. She traded her survival bag for a label maker and now leads major organizers, helping families create functional and beautiful homes. Join us as she shares her incredible journey from military service to entrepreneurial success.
Major Mom [:Major mom, welcome. Welcome. Thank you. I love the salute. I'm only a captain, so I love the salute. I salute all my clients. I salute people. It just they love it.
Major Mom [:It's just, like, such a friendly thing. So thank you for having me so much. I'm so excited to get to know you better today too.
Captain Kim [:Oh my gosh. Thank you. Thank you. Well, it seems like we were both branded. So I have to ask, who branded you Major Mom?
Major Mom [:Oh my gosh. Well, when I found out that you both were branded, I was like, okay. You're captain Kim. Right? Captain Kim. Yes. Yes. And so very, very, very long story short as possible. I started off my after I after I got out of the military, I decided that military life and motherhood weren't compatible.
Major Mom [:So I got out. I started an organizing company. Our real estate business was just go tanking in Denver, Colorado during the great recession. So my husband came home, and he's like, you should start an organizing company. And I was watching Peter Walsh on The Learning Channel on TV with my 2 littles. And long story short, I'm like, I will. And then fast forward, I'm, you know, starting. I have a a silly little name organized for life.
Major Mom [:I used the number 4 because I thought that was so hip. You know? I was hip and everything and 35. And then I really wanted to make it a bigger brand. And so I was getting ready to go to this conference, raise a ton of money to, you know, blow up my company and grow it, you know, do it military style. Yeah. And I was like, okay. All of a sudden, you know, the all these experts, you know how they are.
Major Mom [:All these business and branding experts are like, okay. Give us $5,000, and we're gonna brand you. And so I spent $5,000 came out of this branding session where they're like, you should be Lime Designs. Or they I said, gosh, I hope you have something else. And they said, or do it redesigns. I said, well, I'm not a designer. Anyway, so I call my mentor that's getting ready to take me to CEO space event to, you know, hobnob with big business people. And I said, I'm not going.
Major Mom [:No. And he said, meet me at Barnes and Noble. Let's talk. So, anyway, he says, so tell me about your you know, start when you were born. Tell me all about you.
Captain Kim [:I tell him all about me.
Major Mom [:I get to the very last thing where I was a major in the Air Force when I had my first child, and my husband called me major mom as a nickname. And I was going on and on and on, and he's like, stop.
Major Mom [:I was like, you idiot. Yeah. That's it. That's it.
Captain Kim [:So your husband branded you?
Major Mom [:So it was yeah. It was just a nickname, you know, and but here's the deal. Captain Kim, you know this. We're taught not to think or special in the military.
Major Mom [:Okay? For 1. I mean, you know, you gotta all kinda be part of the team, really. Even if you're the leader of the team, you know, you need to blend. So I didn't think of it as anything special. And if I did, I certainly didn't want to be, like, thinking I'm the only major mom. Like, I'm not.
Major Mom [:There are other majors moms. And so it was really hard for me to blow up that brand because I felt I would be offending other military women.
Captain Kim [:Yes. Oh, we have such similar stories because my branding started when I was on American Ninja Warrior military edition. And they were they said the same thing. Tell me about yourself from when you were little on up, and all of a sudden, I was like, well yeah. And then I got out of the military as a captain, and they were like, captain Kim. Oh, that's gonna sell. And then I was really excited about it, but I have to say, major mom, when I will go around other military women, some thought it was so cool and others were like, well, I was a captain too. And I was like, oh, yeah.
Captain Kim [:No. No. No. No. I'm not trying to, like, take away from you or or anyone else. This is just how they branded me. And so it we had that, like, oh, do I do this? Do I not? But I thought it was cool, and I really think yours is cool. Major mom.
Major Mom [:I grew into it. I know I owned it. Let me tell you. I mean, I stepped into it. Yeah. And I went to a business conference where it was, you know, mostly men, and I was not intimidated by that. You know that. You and I, women in the military, we're used to being around a lot of men.
Major Mom [:And, you know, we just blend in the best we can. Right? But no. My mentor tells me, no. No. No. No. You're not wearing any of those business suits. You're not doing that.
Major Mom [:You're wearing camo pants and a t shirt that says major mom. And I was like, oh, I am not doing that. And he's like, Amy, you're gonna wear your military boots. I'm like, yeah. That that's never gonna happen. No. No. And he's like, that's exactly what's gonna happen.
Major Mom [:And that is exactly what I did. I felt like a fish out of water going in there with my camo pants thinking, you know, who do you think you who does she think she is? Yes. Looking all badass and everything. And it was like, they told me to. I'm sorry. You know, you know, I was like, I gotta step into this. I gotta do this. If I wanna make money in business, if I wanna if I wanna do something, I gotta follow this guidance.
Major Mom [:And I did.
Captain Kim [:And by the way, in that picture of you and your boots, your combat boots, and your shirt that says major mom and your camo pants, you are rocking it. You are rocking that. And you are badass. I mean, you manage nuclear weapons in the United States Air Force. So I am so proud of you for taking that and owning it because now you are so successful. I mean, not that you weren't before, but it is. It's that little, like, apprehension when you have to, like, walk into that space where you're like, how am I gonna be accepted? F that. Yeah.
Captain Kim [:I will accept you.
Major Mom [:Oh my gosh. And, I mean, my childhood prepared me for this moment like nothing else because when we moved all the time as John.
Captain Kim [:Yeah. Oh. Let's start there. Tell us about your childhood.
Major Mom [:Oh my gosh. I mean, my mom wouldn't wait. Like, a lot of parents wait till the end of the school year to move you, you know? Yeah. And we're nonmilitary. Okay? So there's no reason not to wait till the end of the school year. But we would move in the middle of school year. I'd walk into a classroom. I mean, this one happened over and over like 11 times.
Major Mom [:And so walking in as an old, you know, new kid in the classroom and people are like, who the hell is that? You know, and we're talking about 6 year old, 7 year olds means like new girl. I had a tough layer of skin, but also I learned how to kinda maneuver my way into that classroom, kinda lay low, then kinda figure out what you know, how to be accepted. And being accepted was never laying low. I had to be funny. I had to be kinda became kinda class clown. I'm not proud of that because I'm sure the teachers are like, we can't stand this job. But all of that chaos and movement prepared me to go into these rooms of all men and then all women. The National Association of Professional Organizers, dress code, business casual.
Major Mom [:Guess what my business partner and I dressed as? Uh-huh. Major moms. Yeah. Camel pants, our boots, our t shirts. And we were so rejected by so many people. They're like, who did they think they are? Not following the dress code. It says business casual. So these people would make excuses for us every year at the National Association For Professional Organizers, and it was adorable.
Major Mom [:I could hear them across the room, and they'd say, she was a major in the air force. That's why she trusts us like that's right.
Captain Kim [:Oh, my god. Okay. So 13 moves. Like, where did you move? Why if you were nonmilitary, why so many moves?
Major Mom [:Yeah. Well, some of them are because my mom never made enough money. So we get kicked out for not paying rent, you know. So she would we would move before we got our stuff taken. You know, these I didn't know these things until I was much older, of course. Until it was like, why were we moving all the time? She's like, oh, I didn't have we didn't have car insurance. I didn't, you know, I didn't make rent payments. And then my stepdad came along.
Major Mom [:He was my, I think, second or third stepdad second dad stepdad. He was in construction. So he would have to follow these construction jobs around the country, one reason. Second reason, he was actually an escaped convict.
Captain Kim [:You can't make this stuff up.
Major Mom [:Again, I didn't know this until I was older. I was wondering why we always had different cars. Well, he was he's a car thief. He would steal cars. Oh my gosh. So in high school, I was I thought it was really cool because, I mean, I had, like, 4 different cars in high school. I didn't know they were all stolen.
Captain Kim [:Oh my gosh. I know.
Major Mom [:I laugh now. It took many years of therapy.
Captain Kim [:Oh, well, yes. Yes. Tragic at the time. Funny now.
Major Mom [:Yeah. And like, wow, Zen. That, you know, that made me probably, like my kids say, a little bit overprotective, mom. You know? But I was like, oh, I'll take overprotective over that shit show.
Captain Kim [:Yeah. All that instability? Mhmm. But then they say you don't know what you don't know. So like you said, you just did what you had to do, but I feel like it turned into survival mode for you.
Major Mom [:Totally. And I think God just wired me to be able to come into that chaotic world. I think my mom needed me more than anything else. Like, I became, like, the foundation stone of our family. Right? So it's like I was always kinda level headed, and she wasn't. You know, she would give us 2 trash bags in the middle of the night and say, fill up your trash bags. This is all we can take with us.
Captain Kim [:Oh my god. What how many wait. How many siblings did you have?
Major Mom [:I was raised with 1 sister, a younger sister.
Captain Kim [:Okay. So you were the oldest. That's why that new task got put on you.
Major Mom [:Yeah. And she's only 18 months older, but I've stepped into that role quickly for survival. And my sister and I if I didn't have my sister, I would have been very alone, but we know we had each other. Yeah.
Captain Kim [:Oh my goodness. So how did you end up in joining the military?
Major Mom [:Oh my goodness. Well, all of this chaos and drama, you know, moving all the time, my grandmother and grandfather my grandmother was a doctor, by the way. She became a doctor after having 5 children. So she's like my role model. Right?
Captain Kim [:Yeah. She's my role model.
Major Mom [:Yeah. She loved her kids. She divorced my grandfather, you know, after she became a doctor because he was not a nice person to her. But I love my grandfather and I love my grandmother. He was PhD. She was a medical doctor. And they were like, you're going to college, you're going to college, you know, you're going to college, like, you better get your act together here. Because when we moved to Indiana from Texas, the wheels are coming off our bus in Texas.
Major Mom [:I started going down a path that was like, of no return, and just rebellion and, like, get me out of this household of just horrors. And so my grandmother was like, move back to Indiana. And so my mom did. Then I was around family in Indiana and grandparents and people who loved me and wanted me to, you know, move past this chaos. And so I went to Indiana University. I got in. Only school I applied to because I didn't wanna go far away from my grandma, Bloomington, Indiana. She was in Bloomington.
Major Mom [:I'm like, I finally got back to grandma. I'm staying close.
Captain Kim [:She was like your savior. Totally.
Major Mom [:I mean, she would say things like this to me. Angela, I love you, and I like you. Oh, that just still makes me goose bumpy. It's like she loves me and likes me. Because she knew white people in my family just never got me. Right? Like, I was like the black sheep of the family, but because I really wanted to be successful and had dreams. See what I'm saying? It's like
Captain Kim [:Oh. Well, you were in so much chaos too. Like, constant chaos that how do you even know where to go unless you have some sort of direction? Like, your savior grandmother grabbing your hand and being like, look, little lady. This is what you're doing.
Major Mom [:Yeah. You keep your act together. And I went to IU. And back in the olden days, 1988, when you went to your 1st semester classes or in any semester in college, you have to go to the gymnasium to drop and add classes. And you could drop an ad after 1st week when you knew you were never gonna pass this class. Yeah. Yeah. You call it drop an ad.
Major Mom [:I don't know what they call it now, Captain Kim, but I'm sure they have some kind of electronic way of doing it. But back in 1988, you had to go to a building, stand in line, fill out a form, drop that class, then go get another line, add the class. Okay? Some people listening completely know this chaotic routine. But as I was there, guess who takes the opportunity when you're at drop an ad? Thousands and thousands of students we get marketed to over there. An Air Force ROTC booth was there and an Army ROTC booth was there. And I was like, what are those military people doing here?
Captain Kim [:Smart marketing.
Major Mom [:So smart. And, of course, they put their best looking ones there. Right? And so it's like, yes, please. 18 year old college girl is like, yummy, what's happening over there? And my my high school sweetheart had just entered the navy. Everyone in my family was navy. So I legitimately went over there and said, do you have a navy ROTC? Because I'm thinking maybe I'll join navy ROTC. And they're like, no. We don't have navy here.
Major Mom [:It was the air force booth. And army, I was like, I don't know about Army. And so I'm like, I don't know. And so they said, guess what? You could take aerospace studies class for free. Now I didn't have any money to go to college, so I was on student loans. And free sounded good. And then they dropped the other marketing thing. You could possibly get a scholarship.
Major Mom [:Oh. Sign me up, baby.
Captain Kim [:Did they throw the bonus in there too?
Major Mom [:All of it. They were just, like, carrot after carrot.
Captain Kim [:Good. And if they're good looking, like you said at 18, your mouth's just, like, open and your eyes are all sparkles and googly.
Major Mom [:They had on their full dress blues, so it was like, what's happening over there? I don't know. And so I signed up for the class. I met the greatest people in that class. One of my high school girlfriends was in the class. I'm like, what are you doing here, Amy? And I'm thinking you saw them too, Like, you know? So lo and behold, long story short, I got a full ride scholarship through Air Force ROTC. They paid for my whole college degree.
Captain Kim [:Oh my gosh. That is such a funny story, but it is so beautiful because it you're just, like, mesmerized by this gorgeousness, but it led you into stability and success. So, yeah, let's hear about your career then.
Major Mom [:Oh, god. The stability and success. Boy, did I need that structure.
Captain Kim [:Yeah.
Major Mom [:I needed it. I loved it. I thrived in it. And I had just a crazy career. I think the first thing I I wanna share about my career is that I filled out my little dream sheet. Do you remember did you guys get a dream sheet? You know, here's the 3 basic assignments I would like to go to. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Major Mom [:I don't know if they still do those now, but they did it for us. That's another way to get you in. Right? Like, here, select your 3 most dreamy assignments. And I'm my hook, line, and sinker. And so, of course, no, I didn't get any of those. I got sent to undergraduate space training in at Lowery Air Force Base in Denver, Colorado.
Captain Kim [:Oh, can I ask the 3? Do you remember your 3 that you put in for?
Major Mom [:You know what? I remember 2. Where were they? I bet you I could find that dream sheet, but one of them was I wanted to be an AWACS commander. I wanted to be in the airborne weapon system plane that flew around, you know, with the big radar and looking at the bad guys and giving information. I was like, gosh, that sounds awesome. Yeah, put me in that. And no. And then I wanted to go to Germany because my relatives are from Germany. And I had gone I just gone to Germany to visit my relatives after high school.
Major Mom [:So I was like, send me to Germany. Asbrecken Sie Deutsch. You know? It's like, get me out of America right now. Give me somewhere fun. Show me the world.
Captain Kim [:No. And they send you to Denver.
Major Mom [:They send me different training, then I go down to Colorado Springs. It used to be called Falcon Air Station. It was this tiny well, it's this big, huge building with no windows in the middle of nowhere. You had to drive, like, 45 minutes east of Colorado Springs to get there. Now it's a bigger base, but there are no windows, lots of radar antennas, and very top secret stuff. So you would go in through these little portals, and the portal weighed you, checked your weight, and you scanned your retina to scan it. Oh my gosh, you were like super top secret. Micah's big.
Major Mom [:It was like black ops or anything. So the funniest joke was they knew when you were pregnant before you ever knew because your retina changes and your weight. Yeah. Crazy. So that, you know, satellite demand and control and just like computers and satellites out there. And, you know, they're 26,000 miles away from Earth. And I mean, just crazy stuff. Chris, like, I'm not a techie.
Major Mom [:How in the world did I get here? But I was. And then I got nonvolunteered to missile combat crew commander, which used to be under strategic air command. And the culture of that unit was still alive and well. They eat their own. There is zero tolerance for any kind of mistakes at any time. And that was a rough assignment because not only was I once again, very, like, there was like 5 females, you know, maybe 10. But a lot of testosterone, a lot of pilots on the base. Like, it was just like
Captain Kim [:Yeah. How did that make you feel? Were you nervous or, like, intimidated? What what were you
Major Mom [:just I kicked it in like normal, you know, all those moves and all that stuff. It's like, I go straight to commander. I go straight to flight commander. You know, all that's happening. Of course, I will share vulnerably with people who are listening. And this isn't to make anybody feel bad for peep women in the in the air force, but we take a lot of shit from men when we're in the air force in certain career fields. And I will say that when I would get promoted, people say, oh, you know, she probably gave him a blowjob, you know, I mean, all that kind of stuff happens. But it's like constant.
Major Mom [:So it's constant that you don't it just, it's like background noise. You know what I mean? And I grew up with a lot of that kind of talk and a lot of that kind of sexism and kind of a sexual abuse kind of thing. So it was like, yeah, but you know, over long term, it starts to like, wear you down. And so you start becoming kind of vulgar like them. And that was a sign that my mom really did not like about me. She's like, goodness. Yeah.
Captain Kim [:Yeah. The f bomb.
Major Mom [:You know, I just I was like, I can do this. I can I'm a chameleon. I can run right with this pack.
Captain Kim [:Again, back in survival mode or continuing in survival mode. Totally. Oh my gosh. How did they take to you being promoted over them?
Major Mom [:This is one I wanted to remember to bring up. When I started as a second lieutenant at First Space Operations Squadron in in Colorado, not only was I one of the only female, there might be worth 5 of us, but we weren't on the same shifts. At that time, the air force was the military is always trying to save money. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. Right? So at that time, when I entered that unit, my job was being done by enlisted sergeants, staff sergeants, tech sergeants. So there was this transition. So we're bringing in officers, second lieutenants, and staff sergeants, and we're both doing the same job. Anybody who was in the military knows that's a recipe for a lot of chaos.
Major Mom [:Then they were starting to bring in airmen and sergeants. And quite frankly, they're absolutely the job did not need to be done by an officer. But what it did was put us at the same job, and so the respect level was completely off kilter. Yes. So I won't use names, but I had a master sergeant who resented, you know, that I was making $45,000 a year or whatever, doing the same job he was making at 20. I didn't have anything to do with the situation. But this was really bad because, like, I would walk into out of off the ops floor, did a satellite command control thing, walk back, and I was treated like like I was my whole life by my stepfathers. So, you know, the master sergeant would be like, you probably wore a training bra that's why your boobs are so little.
Major Mom [:Oh my gosh. This is all this it was all the time. It was all the time. And I I was just like, roll you know, there's nothing to do. I'm the only female on shift. So I just was used to that. So, I mean, God really, like, always I was prepared and my heart was hardened. And I was like, this is just how men are always gonna be.
Major Mom [:So I mean, this is just roll with it and don't get upset about it because they like when you get upset. But then when I got to missile combat crew commander, I got nonvolunteered there as a captain. Now listen to this, captain Kim. Everybody, the mass majority of people go to there as a second lieutenant and work their way to captain, and then they go to another base. I come in as a captain, so I already have seniority because they're merging Strategic Air Command and US Space Command. Okay. The Space Force had been something on people's mind for 50 years. Okay? Nobody can take credit for it right now.
Major Mom [:Oh, I I created this idea. No. That's been in the works for a long time. So they smashed strategic air command and use US basement together. So when I got promoted over them, people like, well, she's a captain. She outranged you. Of course, that's the reason. It's like, that is one reason.
Major Mom [:But I'm also a badass.
Captain Kim [:And a capable intelligent woman.
Major Mom [:Totally capable intelligent. And I have proved it over and over and over again every day, all the time. And in nuclear weapons, you train to turn those keys on those nukes every day you're on duty. And when you're not on duty, you're in training or testing if you know how to turn those keys on nukes. So you're always in nuke the Russians mode. So, you know, it's very high intensity.
Captain Kim [:My gosh. You lived in this fight or flight arena in your body for, like, almost since you were born.
Major Mom [:That like, so last year. Oh. Oh. Okay. Wow. No. You know, it feels like it's hard to stop that mode without conscientious efforts.
Captain Kim [:Yeah. So the impact let's talk about the impact all that had on you then before you went to therapy. Like, when did you realize you were living in a fight or flight? Because you've just been conditioned like this your whole life. Yeah. So when did you start to realize, like, oh, hey. This isn't how I'm supposed to live. My body is really reacting. What was starting to happen?
Major Mom [:Oh, man. No. No. No. No, Captain Kim. Major Bob here didn't realize it until well into motherhood. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Major Mom [:You did boom, boom, boom. On a trail, do this, do do do do do do do do do do do do. Get married, have kids, got the degrees. Oh, now I got my master's. Okay. Keep going, keep going, keep going. And, yeah, that was when my kids became teenagers. And teenagers these days, I don't know if it's social media or what, but they can be quite jerks.
Major Mom [:You know? Like, I got everything I was to my mother as a teenager, I got back. Okay? I got I got it back. That's what you and I got you. If you're a good mom and you're always there, you know, you're not gonna have any problems. That's just not how the world just cut out. So I think I when my kids became teenagers, we moved my husband's corporate job started moving us, moving us, moving us, moving us, and I was like, I I can't do another move with kids and now cats. I never wanted any animals. But then cats.
Major Mom [:So I think that's when the wheels started coming off my bus. I grew my company so large as franchising it. You know, I was I was featured on Shark Tank, and then I grew the company, grown the company employees, and the wheels started coming off that bus. And then the pandemic hit wobbly weebly. And then I just feel like I'm, like, still limping.
Captain Kim [:So when did you feel like you needed therapy?
Major Mom [:I have been in and out of therapy most of my life, but, you know, because we moved all the time. So I'd say when I I got off the active duty, went into the reserves, I started therapy. Because I was like, I have got big old chips on my shoulder. Like, I I've got some I had I had issues.
Captain Kim [:And when they what did they diagnose you with PTS?
Major Mom [:No. Because I never went to military. I never went to the VA. I felt very vulnerable at the VA. Usually, when I would go to the VA or I'd go places like that, the older men, I might even call them gentlemen, they'd be like, well, if they were as good looking as you when I was in, I would have stayed in.
Captain Kim [:Yeah. Yeah. You sound exactly like them. You do.
Major Mom [:If only they would listen to these podcasts and know how offensive it is. And not necessarily offensive. It's just unwelcomed. Yeah. Like, I'm not offended that you think I'm pretty. It's just like, oh, I don't care what you think.
Captain Kim [:Yeah. You've been true like that your whole life. And you are beautiful, so I can understand, like, the advances that you probably had involuntarily in the military.
Major Mom [:They always the funny thing is it's like, when you don't wear makeup, you have your hair up, you have the same uniform as everybody else. You know, you're not trying to look pretty. You're not trying to do anything. You're gonna be trying to look ugly, and I don't want that to be the first thing they see. And so Yeah. I remember when I got my air force scholarship, I won't use names because, you know, I I know people just kinda say things. But one of the captains that was in the program, he was like, wow, your ASVAB scores are not really that great. You know, you're not gonna be a pilot.
Major Mom [:And I was like he's like, I have no idea. And ASVAB, for those who aren't in the military, is a military test you take to determine your aptitude. So if you're listening, that's what that is. And they're like, you did you send in a picture with your application, your scholarship application? Yeah. I was 19. That started my career in the military. It just was the same. No matter what arena I was in, it was like, you know, the military took up that sexual harassment from normal everyday annoying Yeah.
Major Mom [:To scary.
Captain Kim [:Well, you get used to, yeah, thinking that that's how you're gonna be viewed all through your military career. So like you said, it's like that background noise again, but that's not healthy.
Major Mom [:Mm-mm.
Captain Kim [:It's not healthy for us to do. So how did you make it through therapy then? Because you had a lot to unpack.
Major Mom [:You know what? I never would get very far because we move again, and then I really turned to God. And I have to say, do tend to be kind of a Jesus freak a little bit. But by the grace of God almighty, when we were living in a really horrible place in Florida, a Baptist bus would drive by our apartments. It was the Baptist bus ministry, and all the kids would run and get on the bus because they have these huge chocolate chip cookies to give us. And then they would take us to the church, and we would sing and dance, and everyone was so kind and loving, and it was like, nice. And so, you know, you go back home and it's like, you know, so, you know, stay on playing as long as you can. But I learned about Jesus and his love and things like that.
Major Mom [:And I was like, well, that's interesting. And so then, you know, fast forward 20 years, I'm like, God doesn't love me. He's living with me down. You know, what? He's letting me go through all this. And so you know how all those lies. And then one day, I really realized some many things happened, but I would I thought, I am a child of God, and he does love me, and I love him. And, oh my gosh. You know, these little miracles would start happening in these little things.
Major Mom [:And I'm like, there he is. And so I just burst with love and just knowing that my family may never ever, ever like me, much less love me. But my God does. And that finally became enough.
Captain Kim [:I love that you found Jesus. And I love that you found that day on the Baptist church with all those kids and that loving environment, because it seems like you really didn't have that as a young child. That must have felt so unfamiliar, but so good.
Major Mom [:Yeah. And then we moved again. So it was like, you know, of course. You know? So it's like, I maybe got to go maybe about 6 times, but it was enough. Bus captain Ken gave me a bible, read that about I still have that bible. He signed it, bus captain Ken. I mean, I have that bible. I tried to call the church and tell him, thank you so much.
Major Mom [:I told my husband when I retire, I'm buying I'm driving a Baptist bus and picking up kids, man, because that's how I'm gonna end my life.
Captain Kim [:Great idea. Come full circle.
Major Mom [:Totally. That's what it's about. Totally about.
Captain Kim [:Oh my gosh. Alright. Well, that's full circle, but tell us because this major mom organizer business, how did you start that? I know you told us a little bit in the beginning, but yeah. Give us more details.
Major Mom [:You know what? First of all, I have to say, I'm German. My grandmother's German. She is first generation German. Okay? And the Germans have a reputation where we get stuff done and order late. And my husband's French. He is born and raised in France.
Major Mom [:And I never realized how German I was until I married a Frenchman. And we would go to France and visit, and then we go to Germany and visit my family. And I kid you not. You go across the border of France, France, Germany. Remember you had to go through customs to any country in Europe? So we get across border and we stop at the gas station. And I'm like, when we come back, I wanna stop at the gas station in France. And I'm like, you see, you see, you see? The bathrooms in Germany are run by Helga's. You don't get in that bathroom without 1 paying and 2, you better clean up after yourself, even though she's there to clean up after you.
Major Mom [:And it was like, yeah. So I'm like, this is the culture I'm from. So my survival therapy growing up was as soon as we would get to wherever we were going, I'd unpack the trash bag or whatever we had, and I'd organize my room. Oh, all organized.
Captain Kim [:Oh, this is starting to make sense. Okay.
Major Mom [:Yeah. So that's why I'm like, I have to go back a little bit to say like, that's part of my therapy. I don't have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Some people think all organizers have that. I don't. I don't have that kind of time. Okay. That that's insanity.
Major Mom [:But I like a little bit of order. And I define order as being able to find what you want when you need it. It's not a Pinterest picture. It's, you know, people are the real organizing never looks like the magazines, and it that's not that's not real. So, you know, then fast forward, you know, my childhood being German, you know, my grandmother would take my teacup. I wasn't even done yet. It's like, I'm not done. And, you know, you're done.
Major Mom [:You know? You're taking too long. And so it was like, get this kitchen clean. Let's go on to the next thing. And so although I never ever do my dishes right away, because I think I rebelled in that area because I'm like, oh my gosh. Like, we're still eating, like, everything. But I when I got out of the military to be a stay at home mom, the great recession hit, our business blew up, and my husband came home and he's like, you need to go back in the military or something like we like, we're in you know, our age receivables for our real estate appraisal business was climbing. Our rental properties weren't getting the rents paid, and some of them were upside down on the mortgage. And so it just there was this necessity of survival.
Major Mom [:Again, I'm like, I'm thinking I'm just gonna be a stay at home mom. My real estate is rocking and rolling. No. Uh-uh. God knew me be out there organizing for busy moms and their families and get out there and share that skill with people. And boy did I ever I would go to play dates, you know, because that's what moms did. Now the modern moms we go to play dates and stuff because you're so isolated at home. And a lot of times, I ask for a cup of tea because I'm a coffee drinker, never did drink coffee, never will drink coffee.
Major Mom [:And the lady or the mom who was hosting the play date would say, I think I have tea. And I thought, how would you not know if you have tea? But you know, that's my judgmental self. And so then, 5, 10 minutes later, watching her dig her pantry part, I was like, Please stop. What are you doing? And she's like, I'm looking for a tea bag. I'm looking for tea. This was foreign to me because even though we had a lot of chaos, we are German, so we get our houses set up right away. It settled. So the fact that people wouldn't know where their tea was, and then when they would find finally find it, it'd be like this disgusting herbal thing.
Major Mom [:I'm like, I need caffeine. I need, like, a black tea, girl. You're drinking coffee. I need so I started bringing my own tea. But then moms would say at the play dates, I wish my house would just get struck by lightning. They just hated the chaos. They hated the clutter. You know, motherhood just brought a whole mess of stuff with it and the babies and this and that, and then husbands.
Major Mom [:And so it was like, oh, I can help you with that. And then one day when my husband came home, he's like, you need to start helping people with that and get paid. You gotta stop doing it for free.
Captain Kim [:Oh my gosh.
Major Mom [:I was just organizing their pantry for fun. I was like, can I stay after and organize their pantry? And they're like, that's weird. And I was like, not as weird to book 10 minutes for tea that you don't know you have. Yeah. And start to joke about it. It was fun. But then I realized, oh my gosh. There's a lot of people who don't know how to be organized, military and civilian.
Major Mom [:Okay? This isn't military people. They come into the military, a miry mess. They leave the military admiring mess, you know, they, once the structure is gone, and so no offense to my military people out there, but I know enough of you to know that you were great when you had the accountability, then when you're out, it's like, what in the world's happening here? But when I first started organizing, I was like, hey. This is a team sport. I cannot organize all this stuff, move the desk because a lot of organizing is redesigning the room. It's like there's a chair in front of the file cabinet. Can't even get to the file drawers. So, you know, you have to start moving stuff.
Major Mom [:And so I brought on a business partner. We started hiring employees, and we just, you know, went out at Strong for 15 strong years building and expanding. And that's why I say I loved all of my employees. We trained them. We created the Major Mom Academy. It was like, we background checked them. We had a system. We could go in, unpack the house, get it all set up in one day, go in and a house was very cluttered.
Major Mom [:I mean, we were just like, boom, boom, systematized, major mom method of organizing, and I was having the time of my life.
Captain Kim [:I was just gonna ask you. I was gonna ask you if it felt like this was your calling because ever since you were little, it seems like there was so much chaos. But organizing once you got somewhere was, like, your way of having your only control. And then being your German descent where, like you said, your grandma was like, okay. We're done, and we're gonna go do the dishes and put everything back. And everything came, like, full circle.
Major Mom [:Did you just feel them? When my husband said I should organize for money, I thought that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard. I'm not always so bright. When something comes so natural to you, you don't see it. It's just so natural. Like I said, I was learning that people don't naturally do this when I started on playdates. I'm like, oh, dear lord. This is very chaotic household here, and you felt the stress. And so when my husband said to do that, I was like, do it for money.
Major Mom [:That's weird. I've only seen organizers on Oprah in TV Land. I don't know any organizers. So I ran upstairs secretly, typed in the National Association of Professional Organizers. And, no. I typed in Peter Walsh, who I was watching at the time, who is an amazing Australian organizer. He had a show on for a long time. I typed in Peter Walsh, and I said, oh my gosh.
Major Mom [:There's a National Association of Professional Organizers? There's 4000 women and men that do this for a living. I joined that day, and the rest is history. 20 years later, I'm, like, still at it.
Captain Kim [:Oh my god. That was your gift. Oh, I'm so proud of you for having that courage. I mean, it seems like that was just embedded in you as well. Like, the courage and the perseverance and the dedication towards things. But like you said, when it comes so naturally. That's when you know. That's your gift. Yeah. It was like,
Major Mom [:oh, people are like, oh, that must be really hard work. It's physical, but it's not hard. The clients can be very challenging. And when I get to a client that's too challenging or our team, like, we don't work with hoarding situations. We're not trained for it. Those are very unique situations that need a team of psychologists, and it's very deep, dark, emotional things. We work with just busy moms and their families who have a lot of clutter, no systems in place. And I could just go on and on about the softening of their eyes and their shoulders when we're done, and the everyone just like, there's order.
Captain Kim [:Thank you. Thank you, major mom and team.
Major Mom [:Yes. And people are like, well, doesn't it always go back to the way it was? I mean, there are so many people who say that. We've had I've had pastors say to me, and I love the Lord and I love the church, and there are a lot of pastors that really don't say dumb things too. So, you know, they're not they're not immune. But, you know, they say, you charge for your services? How else do I put food on the table? Yeah. So it's like, you know, there's all these thought again, it's like that little sexism. It just seeps in, you know, and it's like, boom, there it is. Or you should do that for free.
Major Mom [:You shouldn't charge people. And so there's always these little things that the, you know, The enemy of your soul wants you not to use your gifts. Yes. And change the world with it, even if it is only 2 people.
Captain Kim [:Yeah. That's your energy, your time, your unique gift. Yes. You should be paid for it. And you're right. That sexism thing, like, it gosh. What? That always comes back, which leads me to our closing question, advice that you would give for military women, whether they're in now or thinking about joining?
Major Mom [:Oh, wow. Oh, goodness. We need to do a whole show on that. However, look, ladies, if you're gonna go into the military or you're in the military, listen to major mom right now. I don't care where you are in your career. You get yourself a mentor. Now that mentor can be out of the military. She can be a veteran.
Major Mom [:Okay? But I said she. Okay? Because a lot of women are hard on each other in the military. Okay? The environment we go into kind of creates that. But you gotta get yourself a mentor that is not in your unit. K? Because you're competing for those flight commander spots and stuff. Right? So you it has to be somebody outside of your unit. Somebody who loves the Lord if you love the Lord. You have to have some values alignment.
Major Mom [:But the most important reason to have this mentor, if for nothing else, you pick up that phone when you're getting spatially harassed at your job and you know it's wrong and it doesn't feel right, and you call them and you work through how you're going to manage it because sometimes you can't bring it up. And that's just reality, people. But you need to know how to deal with it, process it, and detach from it. I'm not talking about rape. I'm just talking about just the sexism that just seeps into society in every era, every corner, everywhere you look. And so you've got to have a woman that can guide you through it. And get therapy, of course, if you are struggling with childhood things. But you gotta own your space when you're there, and you better make sure you know not to let anybody touch you.
Major Mom [:And those mentors can help you with that. That is all.
Captain Kim [:Thank you for tuning in to dog tag diaries.
Major Mom [:We appreciate your
Captain Kim [:willingness to listen and engage with these stories. As we understand the witnessing the experience of our military women is invaluable. These stories are meant to inspire and provide meaning, and we hope they can help you find your own voice as well.
Captain Dakota [:If you or anyone you know are in need of immediate help, call the crisis line by dialing 988, then press 1. There are resources available to help and provide guidance during difficult times. Please visit our website www.reveilleaandretreatproject.org to learn more about the Reveille and Retreat project, including upcoming retreats for military women and resources. The link is in the show notes. We'll be here again next Wednesday. Keep finding the hope, the healing, and the power in community.
