The Way Mindy Dougherty Turned Trauma Into Strength—and Found a New Life Again -43

We feel it is important to make our podcast transcripts available for accessibility. We use quality artificial intelligence tools to make it possible for us to provide this resource to our audience. We do have human eyes reviewing this, but they will rarely be 100% accurate. We appreciate your patience with the occasional errors you will find in our transcriptions. If you find an error in our transcription, or if you would like to use a quote, or verify what was said, please feel free to reach out to us at connect@37by27.com.

Kim [: 00:00:02

What does it mean to be truly resilient? From escaping a traumatic childhood to serving as a field medic in the army and later battling life threatening medical conditions, Mindy Dougherty has faced more challenges than most, yet she continues to defy the odds. In this episode, she shares her powerful journey of survival, strength, and purpose. Tune in to hear how she turned adversity into advocacy and why she believes resilience is the key to overcoming anything life throws your way. Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries. I'm your host, Captain Kim. Our podcast is where military women speak their truths and share the stories that have shaped their lives. From moments of resilience to hard won triumphs, we hold nothing back. 2024 was a year of incredible milestones for this community.

Kim [: 00:01:03

Our voices were heard in over 33 countries around the world, and we ranked an Apple podcast top 200 impersonal journeys in The United States, a testament to the power of authentic storytelling. Now as we launch season four, we invite you to journey with us once again. This is more than a podcast. This is a movement. Let's break barriers, shatter silence, and amplify the voices of military women everywhere. Thank you for listening, sharing, and making this possible. This is Dog Tag Diaries. In this episode, we welcome Mindy Dougherty, veteran, author, nurse, WATSU practitioner, and medical researcher.

Kim [: 00:01:58

Mindy served as a field medic in the army from 1995 to 1999, deploying to Bosnia before facing life altering health challenges. Despite enduring severe medical conditions, including chronic regional pain syndrome and multiple surgeries, she has remained resilient using her experiences to fuel her passion for health care, social work, and advocacy. Mindy shares her deeply personal story of overcoming childhood adversity, navigating military service, and battling medical trauma, while continuously seeking ways to help others. She discusses her book, A Resilient Warrior, and her brand new children's book, A Dragon's Voice, a for profit, Feed My City, and the importance of documenting experiences for women in the military. Her story is a testament to perseverance, strength, the power of never giving up. Holy moly, Mindy.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:03:00

Yeah. That sounds like a good bio.

Kim [: 00:03:02

Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries. Thank you, Mindy.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:03:05

Thank you. For being here. Yeah. Thank you for having me.

Kim [: 00:03:08

Oh my goodness. You have such an amazing bio. Like, we have to get started on all this. So let's start about, like, when you were little.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:03:21

When I was little, I overcame a lot of unfortunate sexual abuse with my first perpetrator as my brother, then later on his friends. And when I got into the military, after I got out from the VA and the VA staff as well, so I have literally been able to overcome all these adversities as a child to help other people through their stuff. And then, unfortunately, there's a lot of mental stuff, mental abuse, and kind of a tumultuous childhood that came with my existence when I was young. So my mom and dad never really got along. They're at opposite ends with each other. And then my brother and I were always fighting. So it just seemed like there was a lot of chaos and struggle with my family during childhood, especially. And that's mostly what I write about in my book, A Resilient Warrior, is overcoming all these adversities that I've come through, and all the medical adversities after being in military, and then my experiences out of the military and how I help others.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:04:30

I've always had a passion in helping people since I think I was about five or six. We went to, like, nursing homes, and we'd adopt grandmas and grandpas, quote, unquote, they weren't our real family, but until they died, you know, when they passed on, we'd adopt another one, and then we would go feed the homeless as well. So I kinda always had this path. And I think that I think it's very important to teach our children young so that when they get older, they have their own choices to do what they want and have their own path so that at least they can see what they can do to make a difference in this world.

Kim [: 00:05:04

Yeah. Well, being in such a chaotic environment growing up, what was your escape mechanism or your coping mechanism?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:05:14

Running. I always did athlete. I was always a big athlete and sort of check and field. I was running when I was about in kindergarten, we had like the mile races and then went on in eighth grade to do the hurdles. In high school, I did hurdling, long jump, triple jump, high jump, four by one, four by two relay, and then did cross country, soccer, water polo, and wrestling. So there was always sports involved to get my mind out of the chaos. And whenever there was school assignments, I would do school assignments, but then I'll go back to sports. And then if I wasn't running on the field, I was running outside on like the roads and stuff like that.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:05:55

So running actually running and running away. Yeah.

Kim [: 00:05:59

Do you feel like it was that release of tumultuous energy from your household?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:06:05

Yeah, I felt like sometimes people run to the chaos and I was trying to run away from the chaos. And that's mainly actually why I joined the military is there was so much control and abuse that I just wanted to leave. And I actually signed up because I wanted to go to war. I know that that sounds crazy. I wanted to make a difference, and I figured that would be the best training I could get if I was a medic. I didn't know that they had you could do nursing and then go back in. Otherwise, I would have been out. But since I just wanted money.

Kim [: 00:06:35

How did you even discover the military?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:06:40

There was a recruiter that actually met at me at the school. And he was there and I saw these people in like the green uniforms and I was like, what are you doing? Why are you marching like that? Why are you yelling like this? Like, what is this noise? And then he goes, it's not noise. It's Cadence. And I was like, he's like, you should come to the office and talk to us. I'm like, I don't know about that, dude. He's like, I'll give you my card. Come and talk to me. And I was 17 at the time.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:07:08

So he talked me into it. I said, Yes, I signed the papers. My mom had a fit, bawled her eyes out, and was like, No, you can't go in the military. And I'm like, Too late. You need to sign the papers. So the recruiter came with me to the house, talked to my mom. And my mom was like, well, if I don't sign it now, she's gonna sign it in six months. So I might as well just sign it now, signed it, the recruiter left, she was very angry.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:07:34

We argued as a punishment. It grounded me for a little bit. And then we had an argument again, and then she bawled her eyes out. And then right before I left, I went to San Francisco and had partied and have a good time. I went to France. I was like, let's go. Congratulations, guys. Bye.

Kim [: 00:07:54

Well, where was your basic?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:07:57

My basic was Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. Oh. And then I did AIT at Fort Sam Houston, Texas. My first duty station was Elsheim, Germany, Southern Germany. That was really nice. And then we got sent to Bosnia, Croatia and Hungary. And then I served in Colorado Springs where I became what's known as the boss president. I was in MEDDAC first doing OB GYN and labor and delivery.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:08:20

But then I got to represent the whole base for better opportunities for single soldiers, was sent to Washington DC to represent over 20,000 soldiers at the base to get things changed again. So I think I've always been an advocate for change and an advocate for the people.

Kim [: 00:08:35

Yeah. Well, let's talk about your transition though from so like you leave this tumultuous environment, family environment and go into the military and now you're given like, yes, basic is tough and you're getting yelled at and all the things, but now you're like given this purpose. What did you feel when you left your house and joined the military?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:08:58

So in the military, well, first, I got in a lot of trouble because of my mouth. That didn't change. And I was very stubborn and very resilient then. So basic training, I was I got really, really in good shape. And in AIT, I got in even better shape because my mouth was still running. And I learned a lot still from the medical fields, basically to care for others and became a leader. And becoming a leader, you find out that there's consequences to that too, which I never knew like the consequences of being a leader. I always thought like, oh, the leaders, they just lead and that's it.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:09:35

They're the number one people, you know, you always look up to the people that are at the top. But I also learned that there's a lot that comes with that. There's a lot of responsibility that came with being the leader and ended up getting my whole troop basically finalized at the end where everybody they said, quote, unquote, drop, which means get on your hands and legs and do push ups. And the whole troop dropped with me. So it was really, really cool because they were like, we're not gonna allow this to her again. Like, you guys have been punishing her because of us. She's been taking it no matter what. We're getting down with her.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:10:13

And it was one of those moments that, like, it was one of the first moments in my life where, number one, I realized, wow, we really do make a difference. And then number two, that, like, oh, wow. I have an impact on people. So what can I do to make sure I spread this around so that when I go to my bases or my next duty stations, that I can really make a difference? Because that was the whole thing of being in the military in the first place was number one to make a difference. And then I wanted to get the best training as a medic. Because if there was a war, I wanted to be the best. So teaching people what's called combat lifesaver, I got to teach 50 people a week to get ready for a war situation, doing IVs, pressure, all these things that you would do on the battlefield if you were to go. And so that was fun as well.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:11:04

And then all these experiences that I had in Colorado where I got to get vacations basically for the soldiers, and we went on ski trips, we went on rafting trips, we went on weekend. Anytime we had a four day or a three day weekend off, we were going somewhere. So it was really fun, and I got to basically represent the whole base for that. And so at one point, there were a bunch of single soldiers, about 87 single women that were pregnant, and so there was nowhere for them to go. And so we collected them, and then my midwife, who I was training under, she had gotten all these little care packages for them because they didn't have anything. So it was kind of like a monumentous thing that basically would have them have something that when their child, like, socks, a little rocker, a little pajama set, blanket, stuff like that. So it was something to give them a gift for so that they would at least have something to, like, start off with because a lot of them didn't even know what to do.

Kim [: 00:12:05

Oh my gosh. You really were, like, really good leader. Yeah. Yeah. And a caretaker.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:12:12

Yeah. I've been a caretaker, I think, my whole life.

Kim [: 00:12:15

Yeah. I think we're just that's like an innate thing. Like you're just born with it. Some people are really just born with it.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:12:21

I would do it for free. Yeah. And there was many times I did do it for free. And there's more times actually that I still do it for free. I volunteer a lot of time doing that and feeding the homeless and figuring out needs. Like when I created Feed My City, I thought I was dying at the first place. So I built a backyard full of garden stuff so that I could get my mind off things and then prepare somebody else. Little did I know I don't have a little much space for an orchard, so I had to take those back.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:12:49

But then what I did was I found a I was like, uh-oh. These trees are growing. I'm a little too big, and I had no space. So I had to take them out, but I ended up getting like Jordan's stands and Ryan's produce to give their organic produce to Neighborhood Impact so that basically they can give organic fruits and vegetables to both the homeless and the shelters that are around as well as different entities that give to the less fortunate.

Kim [: 00:13:19

I wanna get into all that, but how did you even get there? You talked about you fell ill. Like, was that during the military?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:13:32

So unfortunately, I had a got a parasite. The Hungarians were cooking our food at the time in Bosnia. So we went to Hungary First, and I got a parasite there. And then we went to Bosnia. And so when I was in Bosnia, I just was there was on guard duty all the time. We were in very, very cold weather. And I was sick for over three days, and they kept putting me on guard duty. And I'm like, you're gonna have to go on guard duty again.

Kim [: 00:13:52

Like, what were you what were your symptoms? How were you showing, presenting?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:13:55

I was vomiting almost all day. Basically, my color, from my understanding, I remember a friend of mine who I'm still friends with was telling me I was turning, like, a whitish gray looking color, and she's like, you don't look good. And I'm like, yeah. I've already asked if I could go, and they said no. So I ended up going to sick call one day, and they took a look at me, and they're like, oh god. You gotta go somewhere else. Like, we don't even know what's wrong with you. So they sent me back to Germany, and then come to find out I had appendicitis and pancreatitis at the same time, and the German doctors actually saved me.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:14:30

So a friend of mine picked me up from the barracks because I was gonna knock on his door, but I passed out of his door because I was vomiting for hours and hours and hours. Oh. And so he picked me up, took me to what's called the Kronken House in Bavinsheim, which is, like, right over there, the city over. And then they had told him five minutes later, I would have been dead. So he saved my life as well. So, I mean, there's all these little people call them angels or people in your lives that just gonna come in. I don't really believe in coincidences, but he actually saved me, and then I had my appendix taken out, but I had pancreatitis for eight years. So when I went to Colorado Springs, I still had pancreatitis, still got sick multiple times with pancreatitis.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:15:12

And so what happened is when you go for eating without a large amount of time, your gallbladder can create what's called sludge and also can create bile salts, which causes stones. Those stones can create pancreatitis. So I ended up having pancreatitis even throughout the military and then after the military. Even though they took my gallbladder out, I still had pancreatitis. So after the military.

Kim [: 00:15:38

If no one if but none of the listeners have ever had it, it's super painful. I just want to have an idea of what you're going through this whole time. So you have a period. Right? You're dehydrated, then you get your appendix out and your gallbladder, and now you're stuck with pancreatitis.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:15:54

For eight years and I was working, I went to become a phlebotomist. And my boss one time found me in the bathroom. So I was basically throwing up, brushing my teeth, and then I go back to work. Throwing up, brushing my teeth real quick so nobody would see me and then going back to work. And one day she's like, something's not right. Let me take your labs. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. We don't need to do that.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:16:15

No, no, no. Because I was like, I already know what she's gonna do. My enzymes were in the umpteen thousand, somewhere in, like, over 15,000, 20,000. And so at that time, they were like, your pancreatitis is so bad, we got to admit you again. And I was like, I don't want to be admitted. I've been admitted so many times. Like, there's nothing they can do for me except take my food away. Because that's the first thing that they do.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:16:38

Shoot, you get no food, no water. And I'm like, I don't like this deal. I'm gonna give you some candy or something. So make a long story short, throughout those eight years, once the eighth year came, they did a prousto, which is flaying open the pancreas like a fish. Then they did what's called a whipple, taking the head off. And then finally, they took the tail off, and then they took out the pancreas and duodenum them. So I have been cut from rib to rib three times. The third time was the hardest.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:17:04

The first time I ran a race three weeks after, because like I said, everybody's like, you can't run a race. Like, you're still having your stuff. I'm like, I don't care. I'm fine. Leave me alone.

Kim [: 00:17:13

Yeah.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:17:13

Second time, it took three months. And then after I had my pancreas taken out, I became an automatic diabetic, which is called type three. People think it's type one, but it's technically type three. And so I got with the American Diabetes Association and would ride and friends of mine would nickname me half pint because I'd have a gut. So I find it always funny to have like humor with my medical illnesses too. And always had humor no matter what I did throughout all of my medical illnesses and hospitalizations.

Kim [: 00:17:45

Well, I do say laughter is the best medicine. I truly believe because any, like, release all those good feeling hormones in the body instead of the stress relating hormones.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:17:56

Right.

Kim [: 00:17:57

And did you get medically discharged from the military then? Were they like, this is it?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:18:03

I wanted to wait the four years. I wanted to complete all my four years. And so I signed a piece of paper basically saying that I wouldn't come after them or basically I wouldn't say everything that happened so that there's details basically that I've kept to myself, and I got to go to Colorado Springs and finish out the rest of my two years that I had. And so once the four years were done, they asked me if I wanted to reenlist, and I was like, no. I am not reenlisting. I'm done. So four years active, four years inactive, and they kept asking me if I'd come back to where I said no. I finished out in Colorado Springs and then I looked in the VA to get a medical discharge.

Kim [: 00:18:42

And then where did you end up? Did you stay there in Colorado Springs or?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:18:46

No. I went first to New Jersey to visit some family and then volunteered for the Voorhees Fire Department and then kept having pancreatitis. So then I went to California to wanted to get to know my dad because I didn't really know my dad. I met him when I was like four and a half. And I was like the summer kid. So in my mind, unfortunately, abuse kind of like shades the mind. So though my dad was very abusive, I thought, well, maybe if he sees me, he'll love me. Maybe if I could impress him with what I've done, because he was a Vietnam veteran, maybe he'll love me.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:19:22

And that was the opposite. He is a controller, narcissist and abusive. So it got really, really gnarly at really, really bad times for in California with both my brother and my dad. So going from there, I ended up moving to Colorado. And Colorado in I went back to Colorado, but I went to Denver instead of Colorado Springs. And I lived in, like, Westminster in Broomfield, and that was really, really good for me. And then I met somebody who, unfortunately, abuse still followed because I got into tumultuous relationships. So I think we create relationships that we're familiar with when you're abused.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:20:00

And what I've learned from all the trauma that I've been through and to take a break because I haven't dated since two thousand thirteen, so I really wanted to get myself together and do all the mental stuff before I actually take on another package. So, yeah, I was like, alright. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right this time. And so no packages yet. And so, basically, I've been learning all these different wisdoms from different people on how to medicate. And then also, I got stem cells from Columbia. I tried two stem cells in The United States. They didn't work.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:20:35

So I was flown out to Colombia to a company called Bio Accelerator. They're the number one stem cell company in the world, and they help a lot of athletes, like MMA, UFC, hockey players, and then people that just Joe Schmo. And so when I left the first time, I had seized. I had injections all over and I had a bunch they had a bunch of seizures after that, so we stopped the procedure. So then a year later, I went back and they put an IV and intrathecal, which means went into the spine. It's the only thing that can actually cross the blood brain barrier. And I haven't been stuttering. I've been able to walk better.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:21:14

And I'm still doing physical therapy, and it's been about three years since I have fallen on my face. But I have a condition called chronic regional pain syndrome from events that happened, unfortunately, at the VA hospital in San Antonio, Texas when I was there. I was, what I would say, tortured for four straight months. I was starved, and a whole bunch of issues came from the staff. And that's what I write about in my book is overcoming that events those events as well that left me bedbound for almost four years where I had to have my leg above my eyebrows. Otherwise, it would swell this big and turn purple and red, and I have pictures of it. And so what happened at the hospital or they basically shoved me after surgery. They to basically go home.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:21:58

I had no bed or anything. I had an upstairs unit, basically, where everything was upstairs, my bedroom, my bathroom, everything. And then the kitchen and then a small bathroom that I couldn't fit my wheelchair in because they gave me an extra large wheelchair for somebody that's, like, a hundred and twenty five, hundred and thirty pounds. And so I couldn't fit through my kitchen. I couldn't fit through my bathrooms. I couldn't do anything. So they left me there for two weeks with no help. So finally, I called my family.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:22:27

I was letting them know. They're like, why did you wait so long to tell us? I'm like, well, I thought it would change, and I thought at some point, somebody would come help me, you know?

Kim [: 00:22:34

Yeah. That's what they do.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:22:35

They're like, why did you don't ever wait this long. So they hired some people to help me do cleanup, basically. And then finally, maybe like, in two months, they made me wait. And then they finally would let me either bathe or I had a choice between bathing and eating. They wouldn't give somebody enough time to do both, the caregiver. And they were only coming maybe once a week. So all the other times, I was left to basically figure it out, and I couldn't get into my kitchen, like I said.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:23:07

So I was falling constantly and just trying to figure things out. So where basically I was starved. I lost 30 pounds, I started at one hundred and thirty seven, lost 30 pounds when my friend came to rescue me. I had bruises all over, I had pictures of where like they had ripped off my PICC line and the skin was still attached and I was bleeding all over. Like, just things that a human being should never have to go through. And then after surgery, my doctor was like, you don't need medication. You're just a pill popper, and you're just seeking medications. And so he wouldn't give me medication to help with pain after I surgery.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:23:45

So I had a left bilateral ankle fracture with a tibia fracture and a fibula fracture.

Kim [: 00:23:51

And this was all falling after post surgery.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:23:55

This was from when I came down a tree and I missed a step, a bilateral ankle fracture. Then after that, when I was in the OR, there was just specific things that happened that left me with, like, vaginal scrapings for three days so I won't go too into it. Basically, I was assaulted. So you don't get vaginal scrapings from Foley. So in the notes, it says that there was only one doctor in there. Well, you're a nurse. We know that there's never one doctor in there. We also know that there's no there's always an OR staff.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:24:24

There's always scrubbing circulation. So in the notes, it said nobody was in there but one doctor. And then you go down four paragraphs, and all of a sudden, it says there's four doctors in there. So I don't know what happened. But when I came out, I know that one staff member came up to me in the Recovery Room, and all he kept saying was, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So finally, I grabbed him the brown shirt, brought him to my face, and I was like, if you don't tell me why you're sorry, one more time saying I'm sorry, I'm gonna pop you.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:24:57

And then he started crying and he's like, I'm not even supposed to be here. And then I was afraid that I would get in trouble because I was in Texas. So I was like, oh my God, they're already trying to like hurt me. So I let him go and never figured out, like, why would somebody say, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry if nothing has been.

Kim [: 00:25:14

Right. Absolutely.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:25:15

And I was told that from somebody else that they had heard me screaming three double doors down in an OR. ORs are pretty loud. They just literally play music in there so that it's nobody can hear you and the chaos going on. So for them to hear me three double doors down screaming and nobody came to help me, That was probably the most egregious to me. And when I found out that when I tried to let everybody know what happened, basically, nothing happened to the doctor. He actually got upgraded, and I was the one that was left views and frustrated. So they would give me, like, first said and then ask me questions and then say, well, see, she's not remembering anything, knowing fully well that you signed paperwork saying that I am not gonna remember anything. Like, you can't even do specific things.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:26:08

You can't sign the literature when you've had medication, nor are you supposed to be questioned. So they were setting me up completely. And so once I left Texas, I was on a vengeance. I was a full blown Christian before that. I left all of my religion, didn't believe in God, hated everybody on the universe, and I was angry. You know, you know, there was big FUs all over the place, you know?

Kim [: 00:26:33

Right. It's always so. You can only take so much. A human can only take so much.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:26:39

My left leg literally looked like ET when I was done. I took pictures and my friends were like, I gotta take pictures of this because there's bruises that shouldn't be where they're at. And also, like, why do you have herniated discs and bulging discs in your neck and your back when you first came here for a foot fracture? I don't get it, Mindy. So they're putting pieces together, and finally, they realize, well, you're not joking. Like, this really, really did happen to you. And so I was on a mission to let people know exactly what happened. And one guy from the Viking series and in the History Channel reached out to me, and we've been friends ever since. And so I dedicated my book, A Resilient Warrior, to the people that were on the Vikings, both the characters and the writer, Michael Hurst, because it allowed me to really understand that there is a whole different realm of what people can do, number one, and the strength.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:27:37

And even though people were going through certain situations and the pain that they were going through, they still somehow survived. And they were resilient enough to pick up and go where they needed to go. And so I took that literally. And I was like, Alright, I'm in a wheelchair now. I don't wanna be in a wheelchair anymore. I'm I was bed bound for four years. I gotta figure out a way. So I would leave my wheelchair and fall.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:28:04

Leave my walker and fall. Couldn't get on the crutches. And then I would basically kind of maneuver my hands and maneuver it around the walls until about maybe six years ago. So it's not really been that long since I've been walking.

Kim [: 00:28:18

Oh my gosh.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:28:19

Yeah.

Kim [: 00:28:20

I'm so sorry that this happened to you. It is a good story that you had that gentleman to be like, look, this is what we can do. This is how we can start your healing journey. And was he the one that kinda guided you to write this book?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:28:36

So my grandmother asked me to write a book twenty years ago. And I was like, yeah, sure. I'll write, you know, just when I was 20, she wanted me to write and I was like, Yeah, one day I will write it. Then I found out she was sick. And so that expedited. I was like, You know what? I need her to know everything. Because she was, like, my second mom. You know, she was the one who really was my caregiver.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:28:57

And so she was, like, my best friend when I was younger. You know, she would have, like, my certain drawer that had, like, my coloring stuff and everything. And she would basically take care of me when my mom couldn't because our parents can only do the best that they can with what they have. Right? So my grandmother kind of took some of that role on, but she couldn't take it all, you know. So my mom was jealous of that and moved us away. So I wrote the book, and my grandmother on her birthday read it in one day. And so she called me up. She's like, I'm so proud of you, number one.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:29:30

And then she asked me if certain characters were the people in my family. So she put two and two together. She said, I just wanna let you know that I did try to tell your mom that you needed therapy, and I wanted to help you, but she wouldn't let me help you. So like I said, there's just certain things that we can do as an adult that, unfortunately, were left boundless. You know? We're counting on our family to help us or to do certain things. I didn't have really a mom or a dad at that point. It seemed like nobody was available to me, and my aunts and uncles weren't around either. So I was left solidly being independent my whole life pretty much, even now.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:30:12

So that's why I say I've become so resilient that there's literally nothing that somebody humanly hasn't done besides kill me. Well, actually, I've been in three comas, and they have done resuscitations already. So there's nothing really that a human could do to me that hasn't really been done. But I figured that if I'm still here, I wanna make a difference again. And I wanna show people that this isn't the end. And there's always recovery and there's always a way to have regrowth or even growth. I always say, grow from the inside out because all this changes no matter what. We're all gonna get wrinkly, we're all gonna get old, possibly death and Alzheimer's, who knows? But there's always a rebirth in ourselves once we learn how to cope with the things that have happened.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:31:01

And I still have, you know, PTSD. However, it's way better than it was before. And I'm doing, like, breath work classes and meditation and yoga. And I have all these people in my life now, friends of mine in Oregon, that have solidly taken me for who I am, which has never happened in my life. So I have friends that are my family now, and I recreated that.

Kim [: 00:31:25

Mindy, love that you just said all this because you have had so much trauma, which you know can take you down a road of let's numb all this. I don't want to feel any of this. Oh, I wasn't numb all this. Instead, you're like, listen, I need to make a difference. Like, I am not gonna let this kill me. You're so forgiving. The fact that you even said, people still blame their parents, and you're like, no, they do their best.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:31:53

Right. And it's generational too. So I don't know what happened to my mom. I don't know what happened to my dad. And when they grew up, there's a whole different genre. So how can I judge something that I wasn't part of, you know? And how if I don't give grace to them, who's gonna give grace to me?

Kim [: 00:32:09

Oh, my gosh, I love all of this. Let's talk about your healing journey.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:32:15

Oh, oh, when I know, right? So there's been different parts of it that I've created and had to recreate. The last one was basically the most healing journey was after 02/2014 in those events because before that, before that I was angry, don't get me wrong. But it was a different kind of anger, you know, towards people. Once the events in 02/2014 happened, it literally took me about three years just to cope from what happened and to even understand all the things that happened. And I was when I was on social media, somebody had reached out to me and they said, hey, do you wanna go on this veterans radio show and tell your story? And I was like, well, sure. And he said, I've been following you for two years. And I was like, okay, creep. At first, because I was like, why would you follow me for two years and wouldn't you say hi? And I was like, what do you want from me then? He's like, no.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:33:06

No. No. I don't want anything. I just wanted to make sure that you were who you were and that you were legit. He's like, really are legit. And I was like, okay. So you're not a creeper? He's like, no. And I was like, okay.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:33:18

Good. Just to let you know, I'm not either. And so I went on a radio show and somebody had overheard the radio show and introduced me to another friend who's end up being my publisher who is Robbie Grayson, and he also met I introduced him to my friends from the Vikings, and he went to Ireland, and some of them have written books. And so I've inspired other people to not only live their journey, go on a healing journey. A lot of men have actually been raped, and they're very ashamed of saying so. I've had many calls, many instances where I've helped them understand that number one, it's not your fault. Number two, there's nothing to be ashamed of. I couldn't have controlled any of the situations that I was in, and it's not like I put myself in those situations.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:34:04

If I did, I'd let you know. I'd be like, Yeah, I was in a party or I was dressed like this. Even if you're dressed that way, I'm not saying I condone it. But I'm just saying it wasn't that situation. And I'm allergic to alcohol because so I don't drink. People are like, Oh, you were drinking. I was like, No, I wasn't drinking. I'm allergic to that.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:34:19

Anybody who really knows me knows there's no alcohol involved. Like, I've always been the designated driver to include last night. You know, when people are drunk, I'm like, Okay, time to go. Bye. We're all leaving. And so my publisher helped me with my first book and it was basically literally when I was still stuttering and couldn't really walk very well. I just air bombed everybody. I just listened to the dates, the times, the names and everything else.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:34:45

And they were like, you're gonna get in trouble. I'm like, I don't care. I got nothing to lose everything to gain. I don't care. And so I named all the people that were basically offended me basically took pictures of my documentation, sent it to people. And I was like, there was a screw that migrated up my leg. There was all open skin because they didn't push the screw in right. And so after I got the hardware taken out, it was finally like, okay, I can heal by physical therapy.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:35:14

Not really because I had CRPS, which basically is all complete inflammation and burning. So I had to basically heal from the water, which maybe wants to do water therapy because I was like, oh, maybe I can help people in the water. Always think about other people. I'm like, oh, okay. Well and they're like, you need to help yourself first.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:35:32

I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll help myself. Teach me this so I can help other people too. So I became a WATU practitioner, which is Shiatsu massage and warm water. And I love to give that and I love to do that because it helps anxiety, depression, mental disorders, orthopedic issues, people that are struggling with deformities and having all these issues that will have mainstay said, you're not gonna be able to do this. And I've helped them.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:35:56

People that have had strokes, they're like, oh, you're not gonna be able to walk, you know, and I've helped build them, but I've helped them basically rechannel their brain because the brain has neuroplasticity, which a lot of people don't know. They always thought that you're born with a certain amount and that's it. Well, that's not true. We create new stem cells in our own body, and there's certain different cannabinoids that we have, DMT that we have, that we can do by breath control. There's a guy named Wim Hof who teaches all this stuff, cold plunging therapy and all this other stuff. So I learned from going to the hot springs and doing all these things that meditation, retreats, and really getting back to the self is healing in itself, number one. And then I wanted to come back and help other people. So when I wrote a Resilient Warrior, I had no idea that it was gonna be available in 17 countries, and it was gonna take on the impact that it has.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:36:51

And I'm really, really proud of both that book and my children's book that I just wrote and published five days ago. And that's also teaching children lessons about don't steal, and basically make sure that you follow your intuition because I've been so in such situations when I was younger that I wasn't taught certain things. I wanted to teach children listen to your intuition. If something feels off, listen to it. I'll steal. And what I do has an effect on you. So if I take something from you, then you're gonna be missing something. And later on in the future, I believe in karma.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:37:26

Like, there's something that might not be well for me. So it all incorporates, like, lifetime lessons as well for this children's book. And I've gotten really good feedback so far. And then I've also gotten really, really good feedback from a resilient author. So both books have been monumental to me, and that's kinda helped me. It was cathartic. I love writing. I started writing poetry, and people were like, oh, you should publish that.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:37:52

Poetry is kinda just like on a whim. I don't edit it. I don't rechange anything. I literally write and then just post it. And then whatever I'm like, oh, oops. That was wrong. Oh, well. Because I'm like, why should I edit what I'm saying? Because if I was saying it live, I wouldn't be able to black and edit it anyways.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:38:09

And so I found that people have had a lot of healing through that. You know, they'll read the poetry and they're like, that resonates with me. Your book resonates with me. I wanna write. How do I do this? And I'm like, well, step one, you get real with yourself. Step two, you unveil everything and you take a zipper basically and you take that extra skin layer off like an onion and keep going, keep going with layers that and you get to the rawest of the point where you're breaking down, bawling your eyes out. But when you break down, you get to break through. And that's what I tell people.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:38:44

I was broken open is what I call it too. So if I'm broken open, that means that there's other containers that can close in, but then I can open it up again to the world.

Kim [: 00:38:54

I love that. Oh my gosh. And you are inspiring so many people.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:38:59

I think so.

Kim [: 00:39:01

You are. You have been told and you know it. You know you are.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:39:05

Yeah. I'm humble. So I like to make sure I don't like pop my own bubble.

Kim [: 00:39:11

Well, I can tell you that you are making a difference and I love that you took the avenue of really starting to heal yourself. Just like you said in the book, those negative things that you do people, it does have that trickling effect, but so positive. And you're doing the positive things. So you're putting a lot of positive energy out into the world.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:39:33

I think so. Oh, I know so. You're right. I am a very big advocate for others, and I'm working on myself because I I don't believe we're ever finished until we die.

Kim [: 00:39:43

Mindy, you're a beautiful soul.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:39:46

Oh, thanks.

Kim [: 00:39:46

Beautiful soul. Well, we only have, like, four minutes left, but I wanna hear what advice would you give to military or women that want to join the military?

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:39:58

Don't join. No, just kidding. I would say when you're about to embark on this journey, on a military journey, make sure you have people who you entrust and create friendships and bonds right away so that when things do happen, because they will, that you have somebody that's a safety net that you can go to. And if you have enough bonds, people will take care of you. It'll be that community that ends up taking care of you instead of turning against you. So all too often, this happens to both men and women, and they're not able to tell because, well, you're just not allowed to tell. In the military, you tell, you get hurt. And that's basically what happens.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:40:46

So when I say have a team, make sure you have a team on the outside of the military. Now don't create just your friends. Don't only have bonds with the people that you're in the units with. Or if you're in different countries or whatever, make sure you go out in the community like I did because the community actually saved me. People in Germany had saved me. I saved somebody in Bosnia with their oil in their eye knowing I didn't know that they were on the other side. They were, like, the top, you know, commander. So when I say other people, there's all too often that people think that their troops and their people have to be from, like, within their group, and that's it.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:41:24

Go out in the community and make sure that you create those bonds with other people so that when things happen or go awry, you have somebody to fall back to and say, hey, this is what's happening to me. And can you help me?

Kim [: 00:41:37

Oh, that is such smart advice because you're right. In any circle, right, like, even if, because the perpetrators usually try and isolate.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:41:45

Correct. And that's the thing also that I teach children is if there's any point that somebody is telling you, oh, my mom said this, don't go. If there's any point in your stomach that feels like it's off, don't do it. If they're asking you to take off your clothes, let's take pictures or what's called grooming, teach parents, like, teach your kids what grooming looks like and how they're not supposed to go with it, you know? Like, make sure that your kids understand. And teenagers too, like, people think, oh, my little teenager is an adult. No. They're not. They're not little adults.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:42:23

They're still children and they still need to be guided. And so when I went to high schools and stuff, I would teach about a resilient warrior and teach kids different things and mostly teenagers because I was like, alright. If your parents aren't gonna do it

Kim [: 00:42:36

Oh my gosh. Mindy, you're such a resilient warrior yourself. And I thank you so much for coming on to Dog Peg Diaries. I know there's so much more to tell, but I love that we were able to just have this time. So thank you.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:42:50

If anybody knows like a literary agent, I was told that maybe I could get a literary agent to help me get into like publishing clearing houses or whatever so that they could get my books in bookstores and other places because I would love to get this well known. However, I am only one person. And I don't have the access that maybe somebody else does that could be listening to this as well. So if anybody knows how to do that, that would be great. It'd help me market this stuff.

Kim [: 00:43:17

And all of Mindy's information will be in the show notes, so you'll be able to contact her. Well, thank you again, Mindy.

Mindy Dougherty [: 00:43:21

Thank you so much. This is awesome.

Kim [: 00:43:27

Thank you for joining us on this episode of Dog Tag Diaries, where military women speak their truth and share their true stories. Every story told here is a step towards understanding, healing, and connection. Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. And remember, your voice matters. Together, we're building a community that empowers, uplifts, and inspires. Stay connected with us. Follow dog tag diaries. Leave a review.

Kim [: 00:43:59

And let's continue to amplify the voices of women warriors around the world. Your voice matters. Share your thoughts in reviews to help us grow, improve, and continue making an impact. Until next time, stay strong, stay true, and keep sharing your story.