Surviving Invisible Battles: Mental Health, Addiction, and Recovery in Uniform -54
Staff Sergeant Kristen Domke brings a powerful, firsthand perspective to mental health and resilience in the military on this episode of Dog Tag Diaries. Listen as Kristen reveals what it’s like to navigate military service while grappling with trauma, addiction, and the journey to sobriety. Hear how a “community that works together” can also sometimes leave you feeling isolated—and what you do when you need help, but don’t know how to ask for it. Kristen’s story includes her combatting stigma, learning self-advocacy, and the crucial role that faith—and a trusty canine companion—played in her recovery.
If you’re looking for honest military stories, insights into overcoming personal struggles, and tips on finding your own strength, this conversation is for you. Tune in and discover how hope, grit, and purpose can transform even the darkest moments into new beginnings.
About Kristen:
Kristen Domke is a Staff Sergeant in the United States Air Force, serving since 2012. A proud Dayton, Ohio native, Kristen has lived and served in Germany, Turkey, Washington D.C., and New Mexico. She began her military career in Security Forces and now works in Physical Medicine. Kristen holds a B.S. in Psychology from Liberty University and is pursuing a Graduate Certificate in Life Coaching. A Certified Personal Trainer and musician who once performed at Carnegie Hall, Kristen is also a proud member of the DAF Women’s Rugby club and Team RWB Eagle Leader & Ambassador
Kristen has plans to launch her own business focused on healing and empowerment. She is a woman of faith, a voice for mental health, and a beacon for others on their sobriety journey.
Connect with Kristen:
📸 Instagram: @kristendomke
🎧 The Pod Company discount: 5% off with code: KRISTEN88317
💪 Undrdog Athletix code: KDOM -The Undrdog code gives you 15% off
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Team RWB - Health and Wellness Community for Veterans
Kim Liszka served in the United States Army/Reserves as a Combat Medic, Combat Nurse, Flight Nurse Instructor and one of the Top Female athletes in the Army. Kim worked 20+ years as an ER nurse and decided to explore the world as a travel nurse. She's an Advanced Wilderness Expedition Provider and Chief Medical Officer for numerous endurance/survival expeditions in different countries. Kim has a son, Jace and a daughter in law, Sammy and 2 grand animals, Joey & Bear. Her dog Camo is her best buddy. Camo is the sweetest yellow Labrador Retriever to walk this earth. He loves licking snow, riding the ocean waves, visiting carnivore food trucks and loves belly rubs and treats. Fun Facts: Kim's lived in the Reality TV World! Fear Factor, American Ninja Warrior-Military Edition, American Tarzan, Spartan Namibia and more to come!
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You aren’t alone.
If you’re thinking about hurting yourself or having thoughts of suicide contact the
Veteran crisis line: Dial 988 then press 1, chat online, or text 838255.
Transcript
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Kim [:What happens when a woman in uniform finds herself fighting battles both inside and out? From patrolling bases across the world to facing the quiet war of mental health and addiction, Staff Sgt. Kristen Domke shares a story of faith, grit, and a comeback that will leave you inspired. Tune in as she reveals what nearly broke her and what saved her. Welcome to season five of Dog Tag Diaries, where the untold stories of military women take center stage. I'm your host, Captain Kim, and we are in our fifth season. Five seasons of truth, grit, laughter, healing, and connection to every storyteller who shared a piece of their soul and every listener who's walked alongside us. Thank you. You're the reason this podcast has grown a movement.
Kim [:Let's keep breaking silence, building community, and amplifying the voices that deserve to be heard. Let's dive in. What happens when you give everything to the military and then have to figure out how to save yourself? Today's guest, Staff Sergeant Kristin Domke, served 13 years in the United States Air Force as a security forces member and physical medicine technician. Her story is one of strength, service, struggle, and ultimately sobriety. From patrolling global bases to confronting her own inner battles, Kristin has seen and survived things most people can't even imagine. And yet her journey is one of hope. In this episode of Dog Tag Diaries, Kristin opens up about losing her way, finding her faith, and choosing to rewrite her story. Now a personal trainer, mentor, and advocate for healing, she's helping others rise just as she has.
Kim [:This is an honest, heartfelt conversation about what it really means to come home to yourself. Let's dive in. Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries, Kristen.
Kristen Domke [:Thanks for having me. I'm super stoked. I'm super excited.
Kim [:Yes. So we're going to dive right in, and I want to hear what you were like. The viewers want to hear what you were like as, like, a little Kristen.
Kristen Domke [:Oh, my gosh. Little Kristen was completely different from Kristen today. Little Kristen wanted to grow up and be a librarian. Little Kristen was super shy. And then I grew into myself in high school and into college, into, like, the artistic musician, like, person I am today, but also, like, yeah, still shy.
Captain Kim [:Where did you grow up?
Kristen Domke [:Ohio. Dayton, Ohio.
Kim [:Dayton, Ohio. Oh, I. Ohio. Did I ever leave Ohio? Are you still there?
Kristen Domke [:No. So I'm stationed in New Mexico right now.
Kim [:Oh, okay. And how are you liking that?
Kristen Domke [:In New Mexico? Oh, my gosh. It's such a change from D.C. to here because I was stationed in D.C. at my last duty station. It is beautiful. And it's the slowdown that I needed in this season.
Kim [:Oh, okay. We're going to get into all of that, but let's go back to little Kristen. So were you an only child? What was your family life growing up?
Kristen Domke [:Yeah. So growing up, I love my parents. They did the best that they could. Wasn't super amazing just because of some trauma, things that had happened in my family. But overall, super thankful for the parents, the grandparents that raised me. It was great times. And then high school came around. Man, I was just like this awkward kid that, like, you know, the band, nerd, the artist.
Kristen Domke [:And then I went to a career tech school for graphic design because Kristen didn't know what she wanted to do when she grew up. And it was amazing. Then I actually went to University of Akron for music because I was going to go for graphic design. And then like, literally last minute changed my mind and said, let's go for music performance and education.
Kim [:And what instrument did you play?
Kristen Domke [:I went for clarinet. I still play piano and guitar, like, almost every day now. But yeah, I went for clarinet, Music performance and education.
Kim [:Is that what you got your degree in then?
Kristen Domke [:No, absolutely not.
Kim [:Okay.
Kristen Domke [:I didn't know what I wanted to do. What happened was I didn't have good guidance on what I wanted to do. I was able to explore what I wanted to explore, if that makes sense. And I knew I loved art, I knew I loved music, and so I was like, that's. Maybe that's what I should do. And then I went to college for it. And then I said, nope, I love this as something, but not for my career.
Kristen Domke [:Girl, I was almost failing out of college. It was a great. Yes, it was good, but I'm just thankful for all the experiences that I've had in life.
Kim [:Okay, so you went towards something that you were passionate about. Your art, your music, but then you didn't want that to be your career. And how did you find the military? Did you have family members in the military?
Kristen Domke [:Yeah, my uncle was in my. I call him grandpap, my dad's dad. They're both passed and so they were in. My mom actually, like, went through boot camp and stuff, but ended up not going in the military. And so in college, like I said, I was like, oh, this isn't what I want to do. I was failing out of college and I said, I'm going to join the military. Literally. There was like a recruiter on the base for the Marines.
Kristen Domke [:I'm not a marine. I'm an air Force. Right.
Kim [:I was just going to say, you're air Force. Okay.
Kristen Domke [:I love their Uniforms. And so I was like, I want to join the Marines, but I have a tattoo on my wrist. At the time, it had to be two fingers away from your wrist, and it covered it. So they said, nope, you can't be in the Marines. And so I went right down the hall to the Air Force recruiter.
Kim [:And I bet they were so stoked to have you.
Kristen Domke [:As any recruiter is.
Kim [:Well, yes, they do have their quota.
Kristen Domke [:They have to.
Kim [:But they were like, marines are passing on another one. Come on over here to the Air Force.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah.
Kim [:Okay, so you signed on the dotted line. And how did you pick your job, or did they kind of pick it for you?
Kristen Domke [:Kristen, at that time, wanted to be on the front lines, wanted to be, like, out there, gung ho. So I chose security forces. And then I said, beep, welcome to Vogelweh. Beep. Welcome to Vogelwei. Gaining IDs, coming onto a base. It was a good time. I really wanted to be on the front lines and, like, serve my country, because that's what I thought the military did.
Kristen Domke [:Basically, like, community that works together to basically support our and, like, defend freedom. You know, I never understood that until I went in, if that makes sense.
Kim [:Well, yeah, it's something so unfamiliar. Right. And you're given an MOS, or what's it called in the Air Force?
Kristen Domke [:AFSC.
Kim [:AFSC.
Kristen Domke [:Air Force Specialty Code.
Kim [:Yeah. And that's all we know. That's all we're trained in until you really start getting involved in the actual system, so rightfully so. So your job as security specialist, I mean, you guys were the first responders. You were trained in law enforcement combat tactics to protect from threat.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah. So that's what we did in tech school. And then when you go into your first duty station, like, you really get immersed into it.
Kim [:And where was your first?
Kristen Domke [:In Germany. So I got this assignment, and I said, where is this? It's called Vogelay Air Base. And I was like, oh, my gosh, it's a small base. It's gonna suck. No, it was actually amazing. It's the last security police squadron in the Air Force. And so it was heavily le, or law enforcement focused. So we got to patrol the city.
Kristen Domke [:Like, we had a type of jurisdiction where we could go into the cities and respond to military dependent on and off the base.
Kim [:Wow. So you went right from basic over to Germany. So there was a culture shock.
Kristen Domke [:A thousand percent.
Kim [:Yeah. What were you feeling and how old were you?
Kristen Domke [:So I was 18, 19, because I did a year of college, and then I worked ODD and Jobs during the summer before I went to basic training. That was in 2012. And so I was in Germany from, like, 2013 to, like, the beginning of 2016. And I got to the airport, and I had no idea. My mama. I call her Mama.
Kim [:I love the names for your grandparents. Mama and grandpap.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah. So my mama and my mom said. I was like, oh, they speak English. Absolutely not. No, ma'am. Okay. I got there, had no idea how to get to the base.
Kristen Domke [:Thankfully, I was confident enough to ask somebody that lived American, which they were, and had no idea where the dorms were, who I was supposed to talk to. So I was just chilling. Once I finally got on the base for a solid, like, hour until I figured something out. Because it was on a weekend. It was first experience. I said, okay, here we go.
Kim [:So what did you feel like then when you started getting submerged in that culture at 18 or 19?
Kristen Domke [:Yeah. Honestly, at the moment, I was excited. I had somebody who looked at me, cared about me, and, oh, people are supporting me. I was like, I'm having an awesome time. I'm drinking. I can drink because it's legal. You know, I can party. In Germany, I actually deployed once, and then I actually got picked up to do presidential security for President Obama when he was in Ethiopia.
Kristen Domke [:Awesome experience. And then, yeah.
Kim [:Kristen. Oh, my gosh. Talk about that, because that's an experience you don't get every day.
Kristen Domke [:Oh, my gosh. I was honored to even be, like, handpicked for this. And it was a small team. We went over there. We worked with a lot of agencies. The experience was something I'll never forget. And I will say, like, don't eat the lettuce. Just don't do it.
Kristen Domke [:I mean, you're gonna get real sick if you do. Had that experience, for sure. But other than that, man, I got to see Air Force One. Seamarine. It was amazing. It was really cool.
Kim [:That had to be so cool. I think you're one of the coolest people.
Kristen Domke [:Thanks
Kim [:For having to experience that? Oh, my gosh. Wow. So what was one of the most memorable from that deployment?
Kristen Domke [:I would say, honestly, just getting. Being able to be there and seeing how everything works and gets put together. It is one of a kind, and I think just the whole thing and, like, the connections with the team that I made was amazing.
Kim [:Oh, wow. Okay. That is so cool, because, you know, like, they show on the media either walking onto Air Force One or coming off or just, like, general photos, but you don't really understand what really needs to happen. To keep him and his family safe. Did you get to meet him and his family?
Kristen Domke [:I unfortunately did not, but I know some other people on the teams were able to, and I think that's awesome.
Kim [:Yeah. Okay, so then you did that tour and then went back to Germany?
Kristen Domke [:Yes, I went back to Germany. That's when my mental health struggles kind of started. Was that in Germany? And then it kind of, like, ebbed and flowed throughout my career. Yeah. So 2015 was not a good year for me. Unfortunately, I actually had a suicide attempt. And so everything from. I didn't know how to express emotions.
Kristen Domke [:I didn't know how to understand how to go through and cope with what I saw, like, deployed and Germany. I mean, you see things there that 18, 19 year olds should not see, you know, having to respond to, like, somebody who cannot take care of their child, like, there's feces everywhere. To, like, somebody coming up to your gate who has, like, gashes in their arms about to trying to not be here anymore. And you have to help them. I mean, it's just a lot of things. But there was a lot of fun times in Germany, too. So I try to think of, like, the good times, like, when we get to do the trick or treating for the kids and we get to go out and do, like, Santa in the Humvee. Like, that's like the cool times that I get to remember.
Kim [:Yeah, that is really cool. I'm glad you were able to do those types of things. That must have brought such joy.
Kristen Domke [:I love helping kids people and seeing the joy on people's faces. Like, that makes my day.
Kim [:I could tell just from, like, when we started talking, even before we started the podcast. Kristin and I were talking a little bit beforehand, and you were so personable and joyful and just like, you have this energy that was just very inviting. You made it very inviting and comfortable for me, too, to be part of this. So thank you.
Kristen Domke [:I appreciate that. Thanks.
Kim [:Yeah. So are you willing to talk more about the mental health aspect? And I only ask that because I know a lot of us struggle with it. I've heard from many of the viewers that hearing these stories of other women going through what they're going through makes them feel like they're not alone. And so I was just wondering if you would be willing to share some more stuff about your mental health.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah, for sure. Like, I will share as much for me, if I don't feel comfortable, I'll just let you know. There are certain aspects that I'm still working through personally. And so it's not the time and place to share, but there's a lot of the mental health struggles that 100% I'm willing to share right now.
Kim [:I appreciate the honesty and you being aware enough to know because it's true. We're all continuing this journey. And so thank you for being honest.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah, for sure. You're welcome.
Kim [:So when it first started, what did you. What were you experiencing?
Kristen Domke [:Honestly, it was like a shift that you can't explain. You go from like the peppy person that has no care in the world, that's like, oh, I'm having fun. I don't know what I want to do. Like, that's normal. As an 18 year old in college, like, I don't know what I want to do with my life. Come on now. You know, and then you go over and then not understanding how to cope initially, and then not a lot of 18, 19 year olds know that that's normal. You learn that through growing up, through life, through all of that stuff.
Kristen Domke [:And so when you go into an environment where you're seeing things, like, for me personally, it was. There was a lot of things that I didn't know how to work through. And also I had just come in when Don't Ask, Don't Tell got repealed and I was like, out as. Yeah, I like women, but also my faith was kind of like there as well. And then it was kind of like.
Kim [:And what's your faith?
Kristen Domke [:Christian. I love Jesus. I believe in God.
Kim [:Thank you for saying that.
Kristen Domke [:You're welcome. Yeah. And so I don't know, it was kind of the perfect storm that I think after the first initial few years in the military, 2015 hit and it was just the perfect storm. I was drunk and I was just. I don't know. I can't handle this anymore. I don't know how to. I was taken aback because my supervisor at the time said I just wanted attention.
Kristen Domke [:And so, yes, I reached out and I was like, what? In that moment, I didn't understand. Yes, I did. I just, I didn't want to die, but I wanted help. Right. And I didn't know how to do that. And so that's when I had acted out. And I know, like, I'm not the only one that has told somebody and they kind of negated it or pushed it away. And man, I'll just say, like, keep trying to talk to somebody if that's you, because definitely it's worth being in this world because you're like the only person I am the only me in this world.
Kristen Domke [:I can only do stuff and impact people from me. Like, I am so thankful that I get to do that now.
Kim [:Yes. And you were only given certain gifts, like those are unique to you and it's important that you're here so you can spread all of those for sure.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah.
Kim [:So the person you confided in and then that you weren't feeling healthy and they said to you that you were just wanted attention, did you seek out other help then?
Kristen Domke [:No.
Kim [:Or did you just feel shame? Were you like, oh gosh, am I?
Kristen Domke [:Yeah. So I didn't honestly seek help. I went and I armed up for the next two weeks and I worked my shift work and people could tell that there was something off. I did have a really good flight chief that had pulled me into a room and was like, hey, even asked me up front like, and I said no because I was scared. And then eventually after about two weeks, I had reached out to my team lead from when we went to Ethiopia with President Obama and I said, hey, do you have the INFLACS number? The military family life counselor. And I wasn't one to ask for that. And so that raised a red flag. And then somehow, I don't know what happened, but I was going on shift one night and my flight chief was like, hey, the first sergeant wants to talk to you.
Kristen Domke [:I was like, okay, I'll arm up and go up there. No, just go up there first. I said, okay. And that was the moment that my team lead was there. My first sergeant, my commander was there and they basically allowed me to tell them that I did have an attempt and I was able to self refer to mental health. I did not have a good experience for the first two people that I saw at mental health, it was not good. Yeah. And so eventually I was able to get to somebody who if you need to talk to a stuffed animal, if you need to do this, do that, if that helps you, that's awesome.
Kristen Domke [:But for me that didn't work. And so I requested another person. I requested another person and then eventually, like I said, I got to a good person. I was able to kind of like confide in, learn some skills. And then they took my assignment from Belgium away and sent me right back to Ohio at Wright Patterson Air Force Base.
Kim [:But I love that you were able to advocate for yourself and you knew that you wanted to live and you still had that self worth where you were like, no, this isn't working for me. And this isn't working for me. I need to find A resource that really resonates with me because I want to be here. And I love that you fought for yourself because you had a lot of obstacles along the way.
Kristen Domke [:Yes, there's a lot of obstacles that have happened to me. Have I put myself in some situations? Yes, I fully accept the facts where I put myself in situations. But, girl, I said, what is going on? I think that's also, like, the first time that I started advocating. Like, that is a huge theme in my life, is like, advocation for myself and now for others. So thank you for recognizing that. I appreciate it.
Kim [:Absolutely. Yeah. I want to hear more about it because they ship you from Belgium back to Ohio. And was that a good environment for you? Healthy environment?
Kristen Domke [:No. Short answer. No. Because I was not in a healthy relationship with family members because of my own personal struggles and also just things that they were going through. I got a dog. I was like, maybe this will fix everything. Her name was Sage. She was the bestest.
Kristen Domke [:I had to put her down, like, two years ago because of cancer, but I was like, let's get a dog.
Kim [:They are beautiful, emotional support animals.
Kristen Domke [:And she was crazy. But as you see, a theme, too, of, like, impulsivity throughout this. Like, it is a theme throughout my life because now I understand why. But, yeah, got to Ohio, honestly, like, it was a great time. I was on flight assistant unit deployment manager. I got to work in the training section, and when Covid hit, like, we had to revamp all of our training. And I also was able to, like, create and sit on a mental fitness working board for, like, security forces with my chief and some other people. Yeah, it was great.
Kim [:That was a perfect job for you after, like you said, advocating for yourself and then wanting to advocate for someone else.
Kristen Domke [:Yes. And also, I didn't realize I still wasn't in the spot to advocate fully for other people because I still had a lot of crap that I haven't even worked through. I will say there was a mental health provider in Ohio that I was able to see and do EMDR with for a trauma that had happened during a deployment. And, man, I recommend that to anybody who has trauma because it helped me out so much. Basically, no more flashbacks every now and then. It has, like, lessened so many of the symptoms for that. So it's been awesome.
Kim [:I'm so proud of you.
Kristen Domke [:Thanks. I appreciate that.
Kim [:Yeah. And do you feel like being on that board, though, even though you thought you weren't ready to help others, that it was just part of the avenue to get there?
Kristen Domke [:Yes. Like, I Said I wouldn't change anything, any experiences because Yes, I wasn't 100% ready, but I was still able to give. And I also received a lot through that as well.
Kim [:And I'm so proud of you for that too because. Right. A lot of the times we are givers and it's really difficult for us to receive. But how much beautifulness and learning there is when you actually open up to receiving so much, you can learn so much. And I'm only saying that because you've been there. Oh, what did you say?
Kristen Domke [:I'm stubborn though, so. Yes.
Kim [:But it seems like you learned so much along the way and you were open. I know you say you're stubborn, but it seems like you were really open to all of this. Yeah. You are also a physical medicine technician. Is that the role you were took on when you came back to Ohio?
Kristen Domke [:No. So I was security forces. I was in Ohio. Then I got sent over to Turkey for about 13, 14 months and that was when I actually had to switch jobs due to the, the new regulations that came out for security forces because of my attempt in 2015. This is like 2019 now, right? It was like five or six years after. So it was like 2020, 2021. And I did a lot of awesome things in Turkey. And then I found out, hey, you're getting shipped of your AFSC and you're going to a different one.
Kristen Domke [:And I said, oh crap, insert a bad word there. And side note, I have a potty mouth that I'm working on. But that's all right. You know, one thing at a time.
Kim [:You're allowed to curse. I want you to be totally you on this.
Kristen Domke [:Okay, cool. I'm working on it. It's a thing that, you know, come on, one thing at a time. But yeah, so I actually got take that taken away from me and I'm telling you that was my whole identity and I didn't realize it and I said, who am I?
Kim [:Did you ask why, why they were doing it?
Kristen Domke [:Because of the way that my mental health documents were written saying attempt and self harm. They had put that into the new guidance for security forces that you will no longer be able to hold this AFSC because of these words from your mental health records. I will say though it is a blessing in disguise. Looking back, it's frustrating because people say go to mental health because you're not going to get repercussions. But looking at it from this perspective is, was it really a repercussion because I wasn't mentally good in that career field. No, it wasn't a repercussion. It actually led me to figure out, like, my faith and my everything, basically, that I want to do in life. Like, I'm able to grow into who I am today because the Air Force gave me an opportunity to be able to go into a different career field.
Kim [:Ooh, I love that outlook. I do. I love that outlook. And I think the baseline, and correct me if I'm wrong, is because of your faith, of what you believe in.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah, for sure.
Kim [:That there is a journey. We like to tell our own story, but someone higher up has a plan for us.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah. There's a verse that I always stand by. It's my favorite one. It says, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I consecrated you, I appointed you a prophet to the nations. It's Jeremiah 1:5. And I like, yes, you should take it in context of the whole chapter. But it's saying, like, man, like, before you were born, I knew you.
Kristen Domke [:You have a purpose on this earth. And so I cling to that even in, like, the darkest days, because it's like, I am here for a purpose, even though I struggle.
Kim [:And you matter.
Kristen Domke [:Thanks. So do you.
Kim [:Well, thank you. We all need to hear it, right? We all need to hear it.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah. And see, it's still awkward for me to take it, because you see my awkward smile on here.
Kim [:I do. And you're. We were talking about, you're much like Allison, who was a former guest on our podcast, and you both are such beautiful humans and very humble. So I love that you are talking about yourself and your experiences, because you are amazing, and you do matter. And, like, I am just in awe. Like, I'm sitting here in this interview, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, she's amazing.
Kristen Domke [:Thanks. It's, like, it's crazy to hear that from other people because, like, even the small snippets that I'm telling you, like, that's just the small snippets of, like, a big picture of, like, I went through a lot of crap. And, like, man, I can't even. Like, I'm here today because of this. Like, that's freaking crazy.
Kim [:And now you're doing this advocacy for others. So let's talk about that.
Kristen Domke [:Yes. And so, like, I went to D.C. i had a lot of struggles. I had a different job out in.
Kim [:D.C. what was that?
Kristen Domke [:And so I did some intel work out in D.C. and so I grew a lot out there. A disposition came from a unrestricted Sexual assault case that I had when I was in D.C. and it happened in Turkey. And then I get the disposition came out in D.C. and it was awful because the other person unfortunately decided to end their life. And nobody deserves that. Even if you did that to somebody.
Kristen Domke [:Like, nobody deserves that. So that was another huge point in my life where I'm like, what is going on? What is happening? And I had a really bad breakdown. I had my first panic attack ever. And then this goes into the advocacy because I had people advocating for me, but not really. They were doing their job as like a senior nco, Right. They were helping out. But, like, in that moment, I didn't feel the warmth that I needed right at that time. And I didn't know how to express that.
Kristen Domke [:And so I eventually was able to work in like, the resiliency program for six months. And that's when I was like, oh, my gosh. As a peer support specialist and a master resiliency trainer, like, holy crap, this is. I'm good at this. I can advocate for people. And I was able to advocate for myself. And that is actually when I was able to go to tech school for physical medicine technician. It's like the equivalent of a physical therapy assistant, pta.
Kristen Domke [:But we're able to practice without a license in the Air Force because we practice under our physical therapist license.
Kim [:And that's helping soldiers with like, musculoskeletal injuries.
Kristen Domke [:Yes. Like rehab from surgery or like chronic pain. Teaching people how to come back from an injury but also strengthen themselves so they don't get injured again.
Kim [:And that's not just physical, that's mental too.
Kristen Domke [:Oh, yeah. We do treat physical. But talking with patients sometimes, like, they open up to you about things that, like, not a lot of people would. And so I didn't get to do a lot of that because as soon as I got out of tech school, I came here to New Mexico. It is just everything falls in line because God's plan and purpose is such bigger than mine and anybody else's. And oh, man, I came here and the advocacy started for myself because I finally opened up and said, I need help. Right. All throughout my career, my 13 years, I didn't know how to.
Kristen Domke [:Even if I said, like, I need help, whatever. No. So it's kind of embarrassing to say this because I'm still getting over myself. I need to just get over myself. Right. I actually went to an inpatient behavioral health for 32 days. Then I got out, went to PHP, which is partial hospitalization. So you go to group Therapy five days a week.
Kristen Domke [:I actually failed out of that. And I advocated so hard because I had relapsed and went on a bender with. A weak bender with alcohol. And I said, listen, I need to learn how to stay sober and not just white knuckling, because it was a theme throughout my whole life of, like, white knuckling. Things I say, like, not drinking and staying sober. Right. There's a difference. And then I actually got sent out to California to treatment center, rehab, whatever you want to call it.
Kristen Domke [:I was there for 42 days. I came back, graduated from PHP, and I'm actually currently in IOP three days a week, and I go to work two other days of those week. So, yeah.
Kim [:Yes, that is a huge win. And so, okay, how do you celebrate yourself? Because this is something really, really intense that you had to go through. You had to believe in yourself and you had to sit through all that uncomfortableness. How do you celebrate yourself now?
Kristen Domke [:Oh, yeah, man. I don't know. I just love it. Like, I do whatever I want. Like, if I want to go for a hike, I'm gonna go for a hike. Like, if I wanna go out to New York City, hang out with my friend and go judge a Hyrax competition, I'm going to do it. Obviously, making sure it's okay with Air Force, you know, all that stuff.
Kim [:Yes.
Kristen Domke [:But, like, even at home, like, getting here, there's a lot of first that has happened in my life and now I get to celebrate myself. Like, I have an undergrad. I just bought my first house. Like, I am a big personal trainer. Like, I love fitness and I love faith and I'm a nerd and I do Legos. And I just finished, like a little mosaic of myself. I'm gonna post it on my Instagram. But it's so cool.
Kim [:Yes, I want to see it. Do you have it here right now? I mean, I know the viewers won't see it, but it will be on your Instagram and we'll have that in the show notes.
Kristen Domke [:Oh, yeah, I'll show it to you after it's over. After our. No, I'm going to get it on my. I have a picture of it because it's easier.
Kim [:Okay. Oh, my gosh. Okay. You all have to. Yeah, it's gonna be in the show notes. But what is your Instagram? Just so we could say it on the podcast.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah. Instagram is just at Kristen Domke, so @kristendomke.
Kim [:You have to see this. That is so great. It's so cool. Where do you get them? Because maybe other women will be inspired. I know I am. And I'm gonna get one for myself.
Kristen Domke [:Yeah, it's so cool. It's called the Mosaic Maker. I actually got it in New York City at their little Mosaic Maker thing. But you can do it online. Like, you can put in a picture and then, like, it comes with, like, a Lego set, the picture, and then, like, they'll send it out to you. Listen, I was enthralled. I am such a nerd. I love the smallest things, make me so excited.
Kim [:I love that you are celebrating you and your life. This is just gorgeous to hear and watch and. Yeah, it's not gorgeous to listen to all the things that you've had to go through, but you're right. Like, if God gave you this gift to be this beautiful human that you are and be an advocate and help guide other people, I mean, you have to go through stuff to understand what you're actually guiding and doing. So I know, like, we say, oh, gosh, I can't believe I went through this. But instead of having that victim mentality and you didn't, you were like, no, I am worth more than this. There is a reason. I just need help finding it.
Kristen Domke [:Oh, I will tell you, that took a long time to get out of that mentality to where I am at today. Do I slip up and go back every now?
Kristen Domke [:And yes. Even going through what I'm going to through right now with, like, me B admin said, we don't know what's going on with my life right now. Even going through that. Sometimes I'm like, dang, like, why? What the heck? But then I'm like, I cannot control the uncontrollables. I can only control how I react to things and what I can do. And so, like, all I can do is live for the day and, like, just keep moving forward, you know? Like, I'm 93, 92 days sober today. I'm just so thankful for having a life and, like, where I'm at, you know what I mean? Because it's just, like, I don't even know what's going to happen in the next six months to a year. Because obviously, like I said, like, I'm in the process of not being able to be retained in the Air Force.
Kristen Domke [:And so due to, like, mental health reasons. And that's okay. Like, I've come to accept that because I've served a lot and I'm proud of what I've done right and now maybe God sends the next chapter being able to advocate for others. As I am doing a grad cert in life coaching. Like, I am able to still help others currently. And it's like the best thing because, like, you can help somebody who is at the beginning of what you've been through already. I don't know everything. I'm not going to know everything.
Kristen Domke [:But if I am a little bit, just a little bit further forward than you, like, I can help you.
Kim [:You can. And when you get your certification, please put that link on your website. Because I think a lot of women, after hearing this podcast, are really going to relate to this. I mean, I certainly did. You really reminded me to remember my whys, remember why I'm here, remember. And you really inspired me. And I have a question for you. What are some words of wisdom that you would give women that are thinking of joining the Air Force or that are already in? What would you tell them?
Kristen Domke [:I would say that's a big loaded question because it's. Every person is completely different, right? But I think this quote that I love and I have, like on my Instagram, everywhere, it's by Alan Turing, it says sometimes it is the people no one can imagine anything of who do the things no one can imagine. And that right there sums it up for me. Like, you can do anything you set your mind to. You may be the only one that is advocating for yourself, or you may be the only one that's stepping out and doing something that people may think of as crazy or especially women. It's like, oh, my gosh, you're crazy. You're so emotional. But honestly, like, that's okay.
Kristen Domke [:Learning how to hone your emotions in and stuff like that and honestly, just go after what you want, be true to who you are, find your purpose, find your why, and find your community who can help push you forward to a better you. And maybe that means cutting out some people in your life like I did. And it's hard, but, like, know that you can do this. I am proud of you. And if you need any help or coaching or help with some advocacy or knowing where to go or just even small guidance, I would love to have you just DM me. Even if you're afraid to just DM me and say hi. That's just the first step. And like those people who are going in, live your life to the fullest and have fun.
Kristen Domke [:Those people who are those women who are in. If it's great, keep going forward. If it's not, figure out what you want to do and getting out of the military. People think it's bad. It's not. It's okay if that's not your path anymore.
Kim [:Oh, gosh. So much truth. And Kristen, thank you so much for being like this light today on the podcast on Dog Tag Diaries. We so appreciate you being here and being on here. Thank you so much for being vulnerable, for being you and loving you through all of this. That is the most important thing. You loved yourself through all of this and that's why you're here. And thank you for being here.
Kristen Domke [:Thank you. I appreciate. Yeah, I had people who loved on me, so thank you.
Kim [:That's a wrap on today's episode of Dog Tag Diaries as we head deeper into season five. I'm more grateful than ever for this community, for the raw, brave stories shared and the hearts they reach. If something spoke to you today, pass it on. Leave a review. Share with a sister in arms, because healing is contagious and so is hope. Until next time, keep speaking your truth. And remember, you're not alone.
