Faith, Family, and Fortitude: Dr. Iesiah Harris's Balancing Act -23
In this captivating episode of Dog Tag Diaries, Dakota and Kim sit down with Dr. Iesiah "Esha" Harris to navigate her incredible journey through the military. Moving from a challenging upbringing in Brownsville to becoming a nurse and obtaining a PhD, Dr. Harris highlights the demanding yet rewarding path she followed. Experience the highs and lows of her military career, including the unexpected kindness at Langley Air Force Base and her intense deployment to Afghanistan. Dr. Harris also discusses the struggle of finding her identity outside the military and provides invaluable advice for women in the armed forces. Whether you're a veteran or a civilian, this episode is packed with insightful lessons on resilience, leadership, and self-discovery.
Dr. Iesiah "Esha" Harris is a passionate advocate for veterans and a visionary leader who served in the United States Air Force for 26 years. Growing up in the Brownsville Housing Projects of NYC, Dr. Harris dreamed of becoming a nurse. The Air Force offered her a path to achieve that dream and more, fostering her resilience, determination, and a drive for excellence that she carries with her today. Visit the website: www.caringsoulsforveterans.org and look out for Operation Rewire: Resilience Retreat for RNs.
Be sure to follow or subscribe to Dog Tag Diaries wherever you listen to podcasts.
Learn more about Reveille and Retreat Project:
Instagram: @reveilleandretreatproject
Facebook: Reveille and Retreat Project
You aren’t alone.
If you’re thinking about hurting yourself or having thoughts of suicide contact the
Veteran crisis line: Dial 988 then press 1, chat online, or text 838255.
Transcript
NOTE:
We feel it is important to make our podcast transcripts available for accessibility. We use quality artificial intelligence tools to make it possible for us to provide this resource to our audience. We do have human eyes reviewing this, but they will rarely be 100% accurate. We appreciate your patience with the occasional errors you will find in our transcriptions. If you find an error in our transcription, or if you would like to use a quote, or verify what was said, please feel free to reach out to us at connect@37by27.com.
Dakota [:What does it take to turn childhood dreams into a lifelong mission of service? Doctor Iesiah Harris shares her incredible journey from the streets of New York City's Brownsville project to the ranks of the air force, where she forged a path to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse and so much more.
Kim [:Tune in to hear how her military experience strengthened her resilience, transformed her vision for the future, and led her to advocate fiercely for veterans. Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries, where military women share true stories.
Kim [:We are your hosts, Captain Kim.
Dakota [:And Captain Dakota. The stories you are about to hear are powerful. We appreciate that you have joined us and are eager to learn more about these experiences and connect with the military women who are willing to share their stories in order to foster community and understanding.
Kim [:Military women are providing valuable insight into their experiences, struggles, and triumphs. By speaking their truth, they contribute to a deeper understanding of the challenges they face and the resilience they demonstrate.
Dakota [:We appreciate your decision to join us today to gain insights and knowledge from the experiences of these courageous military women. Thank you for being here.
Kim [:Join us as we dive into the journey of doctor Iesiah Harris, a passionate advocate for veterans and a visionary leader who served in the United States Air Force for 26 years. Growing up in the Brownsville House Projects of New York City, doctor Harris dreamed of becoming a nurse.
Dakota [:The Air Force offered her a path to achieve that dream and more, fostering her resilience, determination, and a drive for excellence that she carries with her today. Welcome. Thank you for joining us. We're excited to have you.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Dakota [:So how we start our podcast is, can you tell us a little bit about yourself as a child and growing up?
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Sure. I love that question and I appreciate Kim highlighting the area that I grew up in Brownsville, Brooklyn, which during that time, it was really, interestingly enough, considered one of the deadliest neighborhoods in New York City. Of course, that led to me being very well protected by my parents and my older brother, and just being able to, in that protected space, just dream. My father always believed that I could do anything, and he would always say to me, your fans await you, and Kareem keep rising to the top. So I just believed I could do anything in the world while my mother was more of the realist and she kept me in line and she made sure that I understood the environment that I was in and always kept me on my toes. She was a tough mom, and she gave me tough love all the time. So I think I had a healthy balance. I am the only girl with 2 brothers.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:It made it hard because everything had to go my way. Absolutely my way. If it didn't go my way, it was wrong every single time.
Kim [:Well, of course, you're the girl. Yes, absolutely.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:That's right. And my daddy would agree. My mother, on the other hand, she would always keep me straight. And that's the one thing that I appreciated about growing up in that environment and then translating that into the military community because it almost seemed a little seamless in that my mother had me working very hard at early age to keep me busy. That was part of the protection. So I've been working since I was 13 years old. And having that opportunity to work at 13 instilled in me a work ethic, like I didn't even realize I had until I joined the military and I was able to get things done.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And you know, back then it was, oh my God, you're, was it brown nosing? Right? I just work hard. I've worked hard my whole life, so I don't know what else to do. So it was easy for me to do that. So if I could sum up my childhood in a few words, I think I would say protected and loved.
Kim [:Oh, that's beautiful.
Kim [:Can you tell us when you say one of the deadliest areas, what did that look like? Can you describe that?
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Absolutely. It scare me. Right? So there were for the most part, you have the community that's gonna protect the kids. Right? The children have to be protected. But the reality is when you have guns and drugs in the area, things are gonna happen. So the unfortunate part about the childhood having the opportunity to witness a murder. I witnessed rapes. I have witnessed a lot of drugs.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And just being in that environment, as it was happening, it was just happening. Right? Things happen. Just be careful. Watch yourself. Right? That's when my mama bear came in and was always protective of me, so never had to worry about anything. But then the reality was in hindsight, as I get to sit and reflect on my life, I think about these things. And this is where we talk about the multilevel trauma that we experience as adults because we don't deal with it. At that time, my parents were protecting me and giving me the love and all the nourishment that I needed to survive in that environment, which helped me even survive when I joined the military.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So it was really a survival mode that we were in, but that's what it looked like in one of the deadliest neighborhoods. And you can attach to that the fact that the high school graduation rates were low. So when you look at statistics, I'm not supposed to be here. Right? And it's unfortunate, but that was the way we lived in Brownsville. And I think with who is it? Jay z, one of the rap artists, he says I was raised in a project with roaches and rats. Right. That was a real thing. And it doesn't hit home until you're away from it.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And you get a chance to say, wow, I was just blessed. Because so many didn't. Right? There's so many of my peers that didn't make it out for various reasons. And I have to thank God that I was just blessed to be able to make it to where I am today.
Kim [:And we are so happy that you did make it because you have made such an impact on the world. So we are very thankful.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I do say that my path was truly ordained by God. And that was another thing that I didn't recognize until I was gone from the environment and, actually, until I retired. And I hit my first point where I'm like, what the heck is happening in my life? I, as a little girl, always wanted to be a nurse. My parents, caregivers, always helping others, always giving advice. Everyone wants to come over to here, but my dad had to say or what our sister have to say.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Like, they always wanna know how I can guide my life based on what my parents would share with them. And so quite naturally, I would want to become a nurse just to help others. And I didn't realize that my aspirations to be a nurse was, it was so much because I didn't know about the educational requirements. I didn't understand any of that. That's why I say my life was ordained by God, because there's no way you put this in my mind as a 12 year old kid that wants to be a nurse and everything I did after I publicly declared this with my 6th grade teacher, the lethal Washington, God bless her heart. God bless her soul. Excuse me. She passed away a few months ago and she gave me a voice to be able to say, this is what I want.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And I moved from there. And everything past that moment was, I'm going to be a nurse. That's all I ever wanted to do. And I feel, God, he just ordained every single step. Because I would have never signed up for the military, but he would have it that I will go to the wrong school. Well, it was the right school, but we couldn't afford the school. Right? So I ended up in this nursing school, great university, but we couldn't afford to pay for it. So after 6 months, they're like, thank you so much.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Now you have a bill. And we're like, wait a minute. Who's gonna pay this bill? You mean to tell me this isn't free? Oh my god. So, I mean, when we figured this out, I cried and I cried and I cried. And my mother's like, you gotta stop trying. We're gonna get this figured out. And I'm thinking, hurry up, please.
Kim [:Because this is your dream. This is your little girl dream.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Yeah. So we had to have a family meeting, had a family meeting, got the money together. And then I ended up at a community college in business. Ironically, I had no interest in business because those people were mean and they were shrewd. And I remember graduating with my associate's degree and I'm thinking, oh my god, my life is so over. What am I going to do? So, one of my actually, it was my aunt. My aunt Jeannie and I, we were driving down the street. She had a great army.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So this is how long it was go how long ago it was. We had the great army, and we're driving, and I see this sign, and it said, be all you can be. And then I saw tuition. And I said, oh, that's it tuition. That's a thing. So I'm going to the army. And my aunt said, absolutely not. If you're going into any branch of services, the air force.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I said, okay, I'm going to the air force. I walked to the recruit. I went, so these are the things I feel like God just made these things happen for me. In my wildest dreams, I would have never put this together. I wanted 3 things as a little girl. I wanted to be a nurse. I wanted a house for $250,000 and I wanted Alexis. So I was able to get those things above and beyond my wishes.
Kim [:You manifested that at such a young age and held onto.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Yes. Crazy. My three things. So now I have to take the step back and do the same thing in business. Right?
Kim [:Okay. So you went into the recruiting's office. You said Uh-huh. This is what I want. I wanna be a nurse, and they accepted that?
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:The recruiter was awesome. The recruiter said to me, listen. Take this Advair test. Okay. Took the test, and he said I had, like, 2 options. I know admin was one option because that's what I went into, and it was something else he said I could do. He said, I'll tell you what. You join the air force, you can go to school at night and work during the day.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I said, well, that's a done deal. That I will do. Sounds perfect to me. So the funniest part is when I go to the Mets to swear in, I didn't know what I was doing. And the marine that was responsible for this, he's like, get out and try it again. And I'm like, what do you mean? I am, first of all, afraid I'm leaving my family behind. I do not know what I'm doing. So don't tell me I can't laugh.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Oh, it's not funny. Okay. I'm sorry. Because It was just way too much structure. Now my mom was amazing mom and she gave me all the tough love I needed. So I thought I was tough. Well, clearly not tough enough for this Marine. So let me back outside.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And like, if you keep on giggling, you're not coming in here. And I'm thinking, really? That's not okay. So we figured it out, needless to say, and I was able to make it through, made it to made it through basic training. And I'll never forget, I got in trouble in basic training.
Kim [:Yeah. Where did you go, and how was that for you?
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Okay. So I was at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas, and it was terrible. So I thought that because my, again, my mother made me tough, ready for life. Not quite every time someone yelled at me, I cried. I said, I want to go home. This is it. I can't do that. And I am very tall.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So I'm 5, 10. And my TI, he was probably about 5 foot, nothing. And he's yelling at me and pointing up at me. And I'm thinking, are you kidding me? Like my mother yells at me all the time. Why are you yelling at me? But I couldn't take it. I was in tears. I said, oh no, let me go home. The one thing that I took away from it all was the first night when they issue us a key and a foot locker.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And, of course, because I was so panicked, I couldn't just get my thoughts together. And tall girl down at the bottom of this foot at this locker. So I have this key and I'm trying I'm trying and my key gets stuck. And they're yelling, get out of here. You better move it. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm in the wrong place for sure. And I finally, after what seemed like hours, I was able to remove the key from the lock. And when I stood up, of course, I was like the idiot.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And he's like, don't you ever let an inanimate object control you. And I'm like, okay. Alright. I'll wipe my tears and figure this out later. But that that carried me through life as you think about things. Right? How can an inanimate object control you? And that footlocker just control my life at that moment. But basic training was it was hard for me only because I was used to the nurturing. So if my mother fuss with me, then my dad would be there to kinda cuddle me and make me feel better, and you're gonna be fine.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So I didn't have that. And I'm like, these people, they're mean. They can't do this to me. So that was hard for me, but I made it through. And another memory that I have from basic training, there's 2 I can share, that come to me in this moment. First, there was a young lady from Mexico. She'd never seen black people before. And she asked the question.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:She said, are you chocolate on your skin? I thought black people would chocolate cover people. I said, oh, okay. That was different. Right? I didn't know what to make of that. And I was just shocked by it. I didn't repeat it. It's just one of those memories that you have, and you're just like, wow, people, right? We are more like them. We are different.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And it's so important to have these conversations. And I wish that we had the conversations in my house. My parents never talked about race. So for a long time, I was like, when people say, how was it being a black woman in the military? I'm like, oh, that question's for me. Right. Cause I am a woman serving the military. I'm not thinking about the color of my skin, but society does that for you. Right.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So that was a question that I had. And then a funny story was when they finally let us go shopping. I bought all the wrong things. I thought that we can have some clothes so that when we graduated, we'd be able to go out on the town and have a good time. Well, I bought 2 pair of Guess' jeans. I'll never forget it. And I cherish those shorts until probably 4 or 5 years after basic training. And they went through our bags, and, oh my god, they threw my stuff across the room.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Everything is a problem with y'all. I don't understand it. It's not me. It's you. Yes. They're crazy. So luckily, I didn't put in too much trouble. I just had to put them at the bottom of that locker and I was okay.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:But yeah, that was funny. So those were a few memories from basic training. And the other thing was we got, we knew we were going forward training for our, the you army called the AIT, but it was our technical training for tech school. Once we got those orders, I was so excited because then you get to you pick your next assignment, and I picked Langley Air Force Base. And I remember someone else, they ended up they had an assignment, but it got changed, and they were sending them overseas. And I said, oh my God, I can't go overseas. I'm from Brooklyn, New York. I'm going out of country.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:My travel was to Virginia. That was about it. So you're not looking out of country. So I rushed through my tech school just so I can keep my assignment because I was afraid that they were gonna say, no. You have to go to another country. And I'm like, oh my god. Crazy. So I was able to get through training, and it was for 7 or 6 weeks.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And I finished it in 21 days because I just was afraid that I was gonna lose it. I'm like, no, I can't. I'm gonna be a nurse, but I'm not gonna be a nurse overseas. Like, that's not okay. So I was focused.
Kim [:Sometimes they say don't let fear run your life. But in this case, the fear of going overseas, you were like, I'm doing this in 21 days.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I had to. I was moving so fast. I don't even remember tech school, honestly. I don't at all because I was going to get out of there. I was determined to make sure that finish so I can go to Virginia. And it was a blessing. My aunt said to me, if you come back to Virginia, I am coming. I'm gonna buy a house here.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I said, oh, that's odd. So sure enough, she bought her house. I went to, ironically, after Langley, I didn't understand why people were so nice. They were so nice. What do you need? How can we help you? Anything you want? You, one girl, let me drive her car and I couldn't even drive. I didn't got my driver's license there. I mean, people were so nice. I thought it was odd.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I said, well, if this is how this is gonna work, then this is fantastic. But where's the person yelling at me? I don't understand. And so I had to go someplace that seemed a little bit rougher because I needed that in my life. But it didn't happen. I went to Korea. They said, if you wanna try that, go to Korea. I said, oh, okay. Korea.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Sure. We did have exercises over there, and that was freaking me out. Because, you know, I do things on my terms. Whatever I want, do whatever I want, what I want. And so when we had to when we were in Korea, we had all those training exercises. And I said, why do they have to do all of that? Like, all the time. It was just the weirdest thing to me, because who are we really going to fight in a war? Like those things to me not, that's why I say my life was ordained by God because I was like, someone's nightmare Airmen coming into the military so fixed on what I wanted, couldn't hear anything, didn't understand what else you all were doing, but I knew what I was going to do. You have to figure out how you're gonna work with me.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I'm not gonna work with you. So I was yeah. I really had an interested mentality coming in, but it was just the focus. It was so much focus. So those things that got me through basic training that made it a lot easier for me, even though I would have given up. I really didn't wanna get out of basic training. I cried a lot. I really didn't wanna go home.
Dakota [:Yeah. I think we've all been there. I remember crying during basic, wanting to go home.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Good. I'm not the only one.
Kim [:No. Oh, no. I remember I was on the high bunk.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Yeah.
Kim [:And I remember crying myself to sleep Yep. Every single night. And I was like, what? Why are they yelling at me like this? Why are they turning over my bunks? Why are they ripping my clothes out of my walkers?
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Why on earth? I do believe that. Crazy. Absolutely crazy. I'm hurtful.
Kim [:Okay. So now nursing.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Okay.
Kim [:Now your passion.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So if my mentor hears that she's probably gonna kill me. But tell me your question first.
Kim [:Do you wanna lead her into the nursing career?
Dakota [:We're just interested about your nursing career and how that turned.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So I think I left out the fact that when I first arrived to Langley Air Force Base, in fact, I just celebrated my supervisor, staff sergeant Handy. Well, she's master sergeant retired Handy now. But I celebrated her 60th birthday. And we went to Vegas, and, ironically, she knew another person that I met back in probably in 2008 to 2009. This is about 10 to 12 years later that I met this person and I go to Saudi Handy's or I go to her birthday party. And she says, oh my god. It's so good to see you. And she goes into how you were just so focused and so driven.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And I remember when I met her, as soon as my sponsor picked me up from the airport, we get to go to where I work the orderly room. And I'm like, this is an interesting building. So she's like, this is your supervisor, sergeant Handy. And I'm like, okay. Hi, sergeant Handy. The recruiter told me that I could work during the day and go to school at night. Where's the school? How can I get to go to school? And she's like, what? She said, okay. Let me talk to you.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So she gave me a very candid response. She said, listen, you have to do your career development courses first. And actually, let me take that back. She said, you have to do your career development courses. That's a priority. But I will allow you to go to school as soon as or if you fail any of your intercourse tasks for your CDCs, you have to stop going to school.
Dakota [:Wow.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I'll take the challenge, lady. I gotcha. So I took the challenge. In fact, I did so well on my end of course test. You get your name on a placard if you get a 90% or above and it was to get a 91% on my CDC exam because I was just so focused. Like, there was nothing that anyone was gonna do to stop me from becoming a nurse. That process, though, I'm thankful for her, and I tell her this all the time. It was long and grueling.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And I say it took me 20 years to get a PhD. That was the sole purpose that I joined the military. And again, this is God because I couldn't have done half the stuff that I've done in the military on my own, because that's just not how my brain naturally works. And so after so I didn't even let me go to school every assignment. Every year I was in school. I worked and went to school. That was my whole life. I may have taken a break to apply to school, but that was about it.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And when I finally became a nurse, so excited because I get to live my dream. It was great to be able to care for patients. It was a wonderful opportunity to grow as a young adult and make some friendships that I still have today. So I was thankful for that opportunity. I felt like it was more challenging than it should have been for me. It definitely was harder as a nurse than it was as an enlisted member. And I say this because when I was enlisted, didn't know anything about the military. You got this girl coming from Brownsville, Brooklyn.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:First thing out of my mouth is, where's the school? Right? Sure. Here's how we do things here. Right? So I think enlisted life is the same thing, cause it's 1 corporation or 1 organization, if you will. When I was ready to get my master's as a nurse, I'll never forget. The initial response was my first class was on Wednesdays from 5:30 to 9:30. The school probably wasn't an hour away, probably 30 minutes of that. It was about 30 minutes because it was about an hour of the shift that I wanted if I had to work on that given day. The response was, the schedule will not support it.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:The schedule won't support it. So here we are. I work 7 days a week. The hospital's open 24 hours a day, and the schedule can't support it. Okay. This is gonna be a problem. I see. And of course that didn't stop me again, just so focused.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And I remember one of my friends today, I call her my sister. She's like, stop sending emails, stop responding. Cause you're going to get in trouble. No, cause I want to go to school. That's what I'm doing. And I tell you, I elevated it up the chain and then I ended up deployed. And then when I came back, I went to school, right, without asking for permission. So that's just one instance where it was hard.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Another is I was always undecided about my career choices. I didn't know if I should when I went to go to Korea. And I wasn't sure if that was the best thing. I just knew that it was supposed to be rough. Like, it's hard. Like, why isn't this hard? It shouldn't be hard. And I remember I had access to my commander. 06 Shelly Meyer said to me, listen.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:When you come in my office, know what you want, because I can't help you if you don't know what you want. I said, well, okay. I'll figure this out. She said, if you wanna go to Korea, I'll get you to Korea. If you don't wanna go to Korea, you don't have to go to Korea. And this is after I have orders in my hand. Right? And another time, I remember when I had orders to go to I was enlisted. My special duty assignment while in Korea, I had orders to go to Holloman Air Force Base.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And I said, that's in New Mexico. I said, New Mexico, New York, too far apart, not doing it. Go to my commander. Sir, I have these order, and I don't even know where this place is. And he said to me, don't worry about it. I will take you to the Pentagon with me. And I said, wait a minute. I heard of that Pentagon place.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And I said, you'll be pouring the coffee, and I'll be going to get the grounds. So I'm not going to get coffee grounds. This is not gonna work. I'm not going to the Pentagon. And I got my assignment changed. I got my assignment changed. I went from New Mexico. I ended up in Virginia again at Norfolk Naval Air Station this time.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So assignments. Right? I'm thinking, I get my assignment, and when I was a nurse, I can get this changed. Right? Absolutely not. This is where we're going. That's it. So I couldn't understand how you took me from I mean, I had no knowledge of the military. None whatsoever. And I've come into a space where I felt so supported and given everything I needed.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And at that time, the hard work was enough. Just coming in, getting your work done, going above and beyond, that's all I needed to do. Right? Promotions below the zone, just good stuff happening in that space. And then you become a nurse when you continue same ethic. Right? Because it doesn't change for me. You continue doing the same things. You continue asking for permission. And then you start to learn that, maybe that wasn't the best thing for me.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So the nursing career, it was beautiful in that I had the opportunity to fulfill my childhood dream. That was the best thing that could have ever happened. And I'm so thankful for that. It was just more challenging than it needed to be. And as I look back, I think that my greatest challenge was being told no. Right. Remember, I'm the spoiled girl bringing that same space, but I've been bringing it into this space, but I felt like I'm working hard. I'm doing all the right things.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I don't want any trouble. Why can I not get what I'm asking for? Because I'm not asking for a lot. So it was just difficult, but it was rewarding. I love my patients. I love the leadership opportunities that I had. I enjoyed the staff. I enjoyed just the opportunity to do things that I never envisioned doing. And Afghanistan was probably the hardest challenge as a nurse because I would have never ever if you tell me I was going to war when I signed up, you wouldn't have gotten me to sign up.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Right? And that's the reality behind what we do. And I am so thankful for that opportunity. I was scared again. Right? Wanted to go home again. And this time my dad passed away. And this time, my mom passed away. Right? So now my resources, my source of strength is gone. And I made it through, but it was hard.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:It was difficult, but it was so fulfilling. And the one thing I'm thankful for when you talk about my childhood and my upbringing, my dad, like, his energy. Right? So he gives me this belief that I can do anything. So what do I do in Afghanistan? We have a fashion show. Right? Because here's the thing. If I'm gonna die tomorrow, I can promise you somebody's gonna be laughing or smiling because this is not right. Like, I didn't wanna be here. I didn't sign up for this, but I did sign up funding to take care of people.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So that was the fun thing that I did in Afghanistan and just being able to turn around, turn the tide on all things. And that's what I do feel my childhood did for me. Because my mom's strength is what held me to be able to be bold enough to ask for whatever I wanted. And then it was the love of my dad to be able to say, when you don't get what you want, we gonna figure this out. You are gonna get what you want. So I think the 2, you know, they helped me navigate my nursing career, and it was hard without them. But the strength that they provided for me was very much needed. And that's what got me through nursing.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Yeah. I think that's it for the nursing career.
Kim [:Well and your strong, deep rooted belief in God had you show up as this angel like soldier in Afghanistan where holy smokes, so stressful. And you were like, I have to make this light for them. I have to make it light for myself and them. Yes. So I love that you did that. Did they appreciate it? Oh my god.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:We had so much fun. When I tell you it's funny because I remember my commando. Now I was not supposed to be when I tell you, Kim, if you would've served with me in Afghanistan, you'd have been like, I'm not talking to her ever again. If you say, go get the patient in room 5 and sit them up on the take them to the bathroom, I would've went to get the nurse in the next room and had a whole conversation with them and probably gave them a syringe. And you were like, what the fuck, what is she doing? I was not there mentally. I couldn't think straight. It was so hard. But my commander, he didn't see all of that.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:He just saw the confident girl walking around, just doing everything. Hi. Right. It's okay. But then he made me the flight commander. And I'm like, dude, my whole team hates me. I made the worst mistake anyone could ever want to make. Never killed anybody though.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Right. But just doing stuff that you're like, what the fuck? But I held on to my Bible reading, brace scriptures all the time. And when he saw me, I'll say about 6 years ago, Colonel Gourley said, oh my God, it's so good to see you. I remember that fashion show. So everyone remember the fashion show and I was the most junior of all the flight commanders and I was ranked number 1. It was 9 of them. Yeah. And we had so much fun.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:He really enjoyed himself. Now I will say, some people were having a little bit too much fun, but whatever they needed to do. And I think till we were so creative. Right? Because no one, except for me and maybe another person, had real clothes.
Kim [:Because they took your guests jeans way back when?
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:That part I had on heels, I have to find that picture. If I find that picture, I'm going to share with you.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I had on heels and it's beautiful rust color, orange, fall light colored rain jacket, because we were going to get a chance to go to Germany at some point. And they were like, only you. All of you. Whereas most of us had on the your fatigues or your ABU bottoms, and then they would get creative. They had stuff from the surgical unit, back pants on their head. Crazy. It was amazing. So I know that they needed that.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And I was really moved to do that when we had a mass casualty. And every time we had casualties, they would bring the dog around. And at that time, I really wasn't into the dog. Right? But after a while, I'm like, I need some love. Yes. This is different. And this dog came to me. I started petting the dog, and then he rolled over.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And I'm like, I'm walking on this belly. And I was like, oh, this is my dog. I love you. Please stay with me because I need you. But just to watch how the dog had the impact on all of us there, and I'm thinking, I've gotta find a way to do something to continue this, this feeling, this moment of happiness that everyone's experiencing right now, I've got to do something. And we had the fashion show because I was tasked with moving our tent. We were in the tents, but we lived in a brick and mortar building. But the tent was an extension.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And right outside our dorm, we were concerned that the tent was going to get hit. So had to move it indoors, and I was tasked to get that done. And boy, did I do it. And my commander was pleased, and it worked out really well. And sadly enough, a few days later, we were hit. So that was again, you know, God is just this all up in my mix. Right? So thankful for that. And after dealing with all of that, we had to move inside.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So we had to have a ceremony for the new building, right. And our new space. So I'm like, we need red ropes, red carpet. Like, what are we gonna do? We have to make this amazing. And we didn't have all of that, obviously. So that's how we came over. What about fashion show? No. This has gotta be a let's do it.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Let's and we did it, and it was great. It was great. And I'm thankful that I had that moment. And what I realized when people are deployed, you get to see the real them. Either they will be happy go lucky like me, right, coming up with these off the wall ideas, or constantly grumpy where you're just like, what? Why are you so angry? Can I give you a hug too? But, you know, it's just the mindset. You get to watch that. So it was very interesting to observe that. And it was just a great opportunity.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:In fact, there's 2 people that I'm still in touch with today that I was deployed with, and we just have such a great relationship. I know one of the gentlemen, when I first got my orders here we go again. Right? Am going to California. I said, who the why I don't want to go to California. So I'm like, who do I need to know? I can't call anybody because this isn't gonna work for me. So he started doing the dance and the song California love is pretty popular. And he's just dancing. How on your love? And I'm just, I don't want that right now.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So I don't care. We had to go outside and have lots of talk. Love about where we go again, the nurse core. I don't want to go to California. That wasn't even on my dream. I don't want and I ended up in California.
Kim [:California love.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And that boy, Chris Kim, I was looking, I was like, listen, that's not funny. I was so upset. I was so upset, but you know, after a while you get through it, but we had a lot of talks outside Kim. I said, listen, this is not for me. This is why I get so mad with your nurse core because it was his nurse core that not mine. Absolutely absurd. Absolutely.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Yes. Afghanistan was a challenge, but, you know, it it's just, I have to say good about my nurse core career. It was just all ordained by God. And every mistake I made, every person I irritated, every opportunity I had to grow, every lesson I learned, it was all for me to learn so I can have this conversation today. Absolutely.
Dakota [:Amazing. So how we like to end the podcast is Mhmm. What advice would you give women who are currently in the military or women that are looking to get into the military?
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:The one thing I have to say is you have to be true to you. If you do nothing else, spend some time knowing who you are. What I find about the military, we all become these interesting, amazing individuals that are high achievers. And we do so much. We have all these letters behind our names, all of these credentials, all of these things. And at the end of it all, you get lost in it. You don't know who you are. I know I struggled with that.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:When I became a civilian, it was the toughest thing. First of all, my name is Ayesha. Right? So you got that Ayesha or Iesiah. Then when you see how it's spelled, why is this hard? I was always Major Harris, Airman Harris. Right? So that was straightforward, easy. Then every now and again, people like, oh, captain, oh, doctor Harris. I'm like, yeah, you're right. I am.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:But nobody pays attention to the PhD. So it's all good. So I never had to even have an identity if you will, outside of my active duty status, if you will. So that was easy. And then when you become a civilian, they expect things of you, right? The hard work just isn't enough. You walk in a room, you don't have your rank that's visible because you're automatically assigned a position in a room, if you will, when you have your uniform on. People already know, okay, this is a Colonel, or this is an officer, this is an enlisted person, and they know how to deal with it. When you come into a room as a civilian, you just wear your clothes.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:So they don't know who you are. And that was one of my greatest challenges when I became a civilian. I'm doctor Harris. Right? I stay in 5:10. I dress nice. I am articulate. I am easy going. You're gonna respect me, aren't you? No.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Absolutely not. No. I'm not. We're gonna give you jokes. What the funniest oh, the it wasn't funny, but it's just how awkward people can make you feel when you don't know who you are. Conversations around my education. You know what PhD stands for? Tell me, how high and deep are I said, I wish I was witty enough to have a comeback for that. And I'm thinking, why do you need to say that? I don't understand.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:And then another gentleman said to me, well, anyone can get a PhD. And I'm thinking, of course, if you wanted, you can get anything you want. But it was the constant dab, dab, jab, jab. How can I? And it what I wasn't accepted in a lot of the spaces. And I couldn't understand it because I'm just here to do a job and let's all focus on the mission. And it was hard for me as I entered those spaces, because I wasn't clear on who I was. And I knew I was from New York City. I know I work hard.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:But when you're being taunted, if you will, you feel like, wait a minute. All the stuff that I once did, it worked so well. Why isn't it working well here? So you have to understand who you are, what you stand for, and then you gotta know your own core values. Right? Every branch of service has it. Air Force, service before itself, excellence in all we do, integrity first. I knew that very well. But what is it that I stand for as a woman?
Dakota [:I love that.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I had to figure that out. And respect and loyalty became incredibly important to me. And so now when I feel disrespected, it's a different conversation. I no longer accept the taunting. And I can give you an example, the education thing again. Right? So I'm on a call. A gentleman says, how do you want to be addressed? Doctor. Harris works for me.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Keep it simple. Doctor Iesiah, if you feel really uncomfortable. Right? Or Iesiah, like, whatever works, because I want you to feel comfortable. And he says, well, I probably shouldn't call you doctor because normally when I do that and clients hear it, they start asking medical questions. Is that the best you got? I said, you know what? Because I've already been tortured enough. Now I have come back. I said, well, you know what? Because I'm a nurse and I bet you, if they have any medical questions, I'm likely able to answer that, or I can at least find the answer. So doctor Harris works.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Right? And that was the end of that. Well, you know what? I'm gonna call you doctor Harris from here on out. And I'm thinking, but why? Why do I have to have these conversations? When I was on active duty, all I need to do is show up and work hard, period. And when you come into the civilian spaces, it's always a thing. They'll say, how do you wanna be addressed, doctor Harris? Alright, doc. I said doctor Hammond. Right? Why would you do that? So it's important for you to know who you are so that you don't get caught up in the rhetoric or you don't feel I'm gonna say less than, or you feel confused about anything when you're entering spaces. So understanding who you are is so important and knowing your worth.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:When you're on active duty, you're a superstar. We all work so hard. We're all going a 1,000. You probably have, like, 0.005% of the people that are on active duty that don't give you all of that. So everyone is constantly working hard because that's what we all understand. When you become a civilian, that work ethic may not be appreciated so easily. So you have to understand what your worth is. And know that that is what you bring to the table and understand when to apply it and when to kind of hold it in.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:Because not everyone is deserving of all of that for from you. So you have to understand that. And what will I tell someone, have an exit strategy. An exit strategy is critically important because you can't stay in the military forever. 30 years, if you're an officer and you never served any enlisted time. But if you were an officer, you have excuse me. If you were enlisted, you'd be able to stay a few extra years. Right? 30, 40 year career.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:I'm like, wow. That's a long time. But you can't stay there forever. So you have to know what you wanna do when that part of your life is over. And I, unfortunately, because I only wanted to go to school, I didn't know what was happening when it was time to go. I remember when I was about to finish my PhD. I was a captain, and I was in Mississippi. And I'm on the phone with one of my friends, and I'm just like, I don't know what to do.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:There's no more school to get. I don't know what anymore. I have to get out, I think. I don't know. And she said, well, you know, you're gonna be fine. You have a PhD. And everyone says the same thing. You're gonna be fine.
Dr. Iesiah Harris [:You've got a PhD. No. The world doesn't care. Trust me. They don't. And that's why you have to know who you are so that you can understand what you're bringing to the table. Because that's just a degree. But when you are a woman of value and you have character and you understand that, then life is easier for you.
Kim [:That is such powerful information, knowing who you are and knowing your worth. And I feel like that has been you this whole time from when you were a little girl, you know, that, like you said, that that balance between your dad and your mom and just making you that strong woman. And then at such a young age, being led by God and knowing what you want to do. And we are just so happy that you are here and that you were part of this interview with us. I'm thank you. Thank you. Thank you tuning into Dog Tag Diaries. We appreciate your willingness to listen and engage with these stories as we understand the challenge that comes with sharing and hearing them.
Kim [:Your support in witnessing the experience of our military women is invaluable. These stories are meant to inspire and provide meaning, and we hope they can help you find your own voice as well.
Dakota [:If you or anyone you know are in need of immediate help, call the crisis line by dialing 988, then press 1. There are resources available to help and provide guidance during difficult times. Please visit our website, www.reveilleandretreatproject.org, to learn more about the Reveille and Retreat Project, including upcoming retreats for military women and resources. The link is in the show notes. We'll be here again next Wednesday. Keep finding the hope, the healing, and the power in community.
