Surviving Betrayal and Trauma: Tanya Lakins’ Road to Advocacy for Military Women -63

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Captain Kim [: 00:00:04

What happens when a pastor's daughter, raised in a strict religious home, decides to take control of her own future? At 17, Tonya defied her father, forged her own path into the Marine Corps, and discovered a strength she never knew she had. This is a story of rebellion, resilience, betrayal, and a veteran's mission to protect the sisters who came after her. This is an episode you don't want to miss. We made it Season 6 of Dog Tag Diaries where every military woman deserves a platform to tell her story and have it be heard. I'm your host, Captain Kim, and this community has already racked up over 4,500 downloads. So let's smash 5K together, share these episodes, and help us make season six our biggest yet. Today on Dog Tag Diaries, we sit down with Tanya, a woman who grew up in a strict religious home under the watchful eye of her pastor father. She was outspoken, rebellious, and determined to live life on her own terms.

Captain Kim [: 00:01:30

At just 17, Tonya made a daring choice. She joined the Marine Corps without her father's permission, stepping into a world that would challenge her, shape her, and ultimately transform her. Over 11 years of service, she discovered her strength, resilience, and independence, but also endured betrayal and trauma that tested her spirit in ways she could never have imagined. Now Tonya has turned her pain into purpose. As a veteran service officer and advocate for women in military, she is dedicating her life to protecting and empowering her sisters in arms. This is Tanya's story of rebellion, resilience, and redemption. So welcome to Dog Tag Diaries. Tanya, we're so happy to have you.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:02:16

Thank you. I'm glad to be here.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:18

Yeah. And I love. I love that you have changed something that was so traumatic for you into something so wonderful that you helped yourself, but now you are like, that's not enough. I need to help my sisters in arms as well. I love that.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:02:36

Oh, yeah. I have always needed to do something, so from the day I got out of the Marine Corps, I wanted to do something. I just couldn't find a path to do anything. And then I just started getting involved. Like, that's what you got to do. You just got to step up and start getting involved with anything you can.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:57

Yeah, I love that mindset. You just have to start. Which takes me to the beginning of miss Tanya. Let's hear about this rebellious girl, how you grew up, where you grew up.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:03:10

I grew up in Indiana, Northern Indiana. I have two sisters. One sister is a year younger than me. My other sister's eight years younger than me. So me and My middle sister kind of grew up together. We were outspoken. My dad had a very firm hand on his girls, but it didn't really work. He kind of.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:03:35

He got a lot of pushback. I think the main thing was we were at the church all the time. That's just where we were. I'm one of those people that I don't like an answer that comes up with other answers. So when you start talking religion and the Bible, there's just so many questions that would come up. My dad didn't like it. That was not something.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:02

Well, that's his livelihood. He just wanted you to believe what.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:04:06

He believed, which blindlessly believe.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:10

Yes. You seem like someone who is visual and needs to be able to see what is being spoken.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:04:18

Yes, I read the Bible many times. One of the things that we were challenged with was knowing speaking on the Bible, like in youth class, in any of the classes that the church had. That was part of it. You just know the Bible backwards and forwards and that's how you testify to other people.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:42

So you and your dad ended up butting heads quite a bit then.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:04:47

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:48

How did that affect you as a little girl? Because. Right. Like, that's our dad. That's our dad. And we do want him to love and accept us for who we are and what we believe, even if it's not what they believe.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:05:02

I always wanted my dad to teach me things. That's something that other people, I've heard them tell stories about their dad teaching them things. My dad did not believe that girls should do certain things. You got a husband to do things around the house. Like, my mom taught us stuff, how to sew and, you know, anything that you can think of. My mom taught us how to do, but my dad was like, no, you don't need to learn how to change the oil in your car because your husband will do that.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:34

Oh, yeah. And that just wasn't born into your soul.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:05:39

No, no, I was not about that. I wanted to know how to be independent, how to be self sufficient. And that wasn't in my childhood cards.

Captain Kim [: 00:05:51

Yeah. So I'm interested how you learned about the military because your dad was a pastor and your mom was housewife.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:06:01

A housewife for most of the time. Yeah, yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:06:03

How did you learn about the military?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:06:06

At school. So when we went to school, so there was a career day. And I believe that in small towns, the military just kind of focuses on small town people because, you know, we've kind of got the mindset. Small town people have the mindset for going into the Military, I guess, I don't know. That's just. There's no statistics behind that, just my personal opinion. But the army was there, the Air Force was there. They were all there in their uniforms.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:06:37

Went to the army and started talking to them and they were like, yeah, as a senior in high school, I was 80 pounds and five foot one. So I was tiny.

Captain Kim [: 00:06:50

You were tiny?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:06:52

Yes. And the army recruiter was like, hahaha, you're not going to make it in boot camp. So he really didn't want to waste his time. And I'm just standing there and I was like, I don't believe this is happening. This might be one of my career choices. Then I turn around and here comes a Marine in his blues. And that was that. I was like, if I'm not going to do what I want to do, which is go to art school, then I want to be a Marine.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:07:23

I wanted to go to art school. I had applied for some scholarships. I wanted to go to Chicago Art Institute and applied for scholarships, got some scholarships, but not really a full ride scholarship. And my dad said, no, that's not a job. Artists starve to death. That's not gonna happen.

Captain Kim [: 00:07:45

Was he supportive of you wanting to go into the Marines? I would not think so.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:07:49

No, not at all. That was not a place for women. My dad is a huge advocate of the military for guys if that's their choice. But women shouldn't be there is the way my dad feels about it.

Captain Kim [: 00:08:04

Yeah. So how did you. Because you were 17.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:08:09

I was 17.

Captain Kim [: 00:08:10

How did you get them to sign? What happened? How did you get enlisted?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:08:15

So I told the Marine that was standing there that I wanted to go into the Marine Corps. Same thing. He was like, you know, it's going to be difficult. You're small, it's going to be really hard. You might not even be able to do the obstacle course. And I was like, I can do it. I'm determined. When I decide to do something, that's it, like it's going to get done.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:08:39

And he said, okay, start showing up here. So I drove to South Bend on the weekends to do like runs with them and that kind of thing. And I got my mom to sign the papers and I started going to the workouts, working out with them, and then I told them I wanted to go to boot camp. Pretty soon after I graduated, I went to boot camp.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:04

Okay, and how did all that feel?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:09:06

It felt very empowering. I was making choices for myself, which really didn't happen in my world, in my hometown. You kind of did what your parents told you to do. That was what everybody did. They just did what their parents told them to do.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:23

I'm so glad you were able to break out of that traditional role, because really, I feel like it wasn't feeding your soul. I felt like it was killing it just by listening to what you were talking about, the person that you are and your personality.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:09:36

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:37

So you showed them you were small but mighty. You showed the Marines I could do this. What was your job title?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:09:45

I was a unit diary clerk. So I did computers. I did administrative work. Everything that happened in a Marine's life, marriages, divorce, new rank, all of that kind of stuff, that was what I did, was I put it into the computer. And when I started, gosh, computers were a new thing, and they were huge.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:06

What year were you in 1990 when.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:10:10

I went to boot camp. So 91 was when we still had microfiche. If anybody out there knows what that is.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:19

Yeah. We were close to the same time when I was doing the nursing part. We were still. Paper charting.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:10:24

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:25

Does anybody know what paper is?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:10:29

Right, right. My kids. I have a sophomore in college and a senior. He's a senior this year. And they're like, you did what? Yeah, we wrote it down. That's why I still write everything down. They're like, mom, just put it in your phone. I'm like, oh, I might lose it.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:10:47

I don't know. I love technology, but I hate technology.

Captain Kim [: 00:10:50

Yeah. And that was quite the learning curve for you then.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:10:54

Yes. I was learning computers. I was just thrown into a whole new world. It was definitely culture shock. Going to boot camp. I had two female drill instructors, and if I remember right, I had two female drill instructors and two, maybe a third male drill instructors in boot camp. And those women, I was just like, wow, you do what? Like, you teach? And one of the women actually taught men Marines also. So I couldn't believe that.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:11:31

That just floored me.

Captain Kim [: 00:11:32

Yeah. Which you probably saw a very stoic type of woman, because back then, even she probably had to prove herself. Now that we know what we know.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:11:45

Yeah, right.

Captain Kim [: 00:11:47

Yeah.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:11:47

I was impressed from day one. So it was just. I knew that I was going to be the best at whatever I could was going to do. I didn't really care what it was that I was going to do. I just knew I wanted to be the best Marine.

Captain Kim [: 00:12:04

And she was a solid role model for you.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:12:07

Yes. Oh, awesome.

Captain Kim [: 00:12:08

I love to hear that.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:12:10

And then going to school to learn administrative duties of learning the computers, learning all of that. There was Even more women who were teaching us. And I was just like, what?

Captain Kim [: 00:12:22

Wow.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:12:23

How does this happen?

Captain Kim [: 00:12:26

Yeah, because you don't hear it. Like we said back then, it's really difficult to have those positions as females.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:12:34

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:12:34

And in the Marines. But I am so glad you had those positive role models to form you. So let's hear about your Marine career.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:12:43

So I was at Parris island for boot camp. Then I went to Camp Lejeune for school, and I stayed for quite a while. I was at Camp Lejeune. I ended up with a female warrant officer. She didn't want to let me go because of the work that I did on the computers. I knew everything. So I was teaching them different things that they could do on the computers that they didn't know that they could even do. So she was like, yeah, you're not going anywhere.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:13:16

I wanted to travel the world. I requested orders all the time. And she would just be like, nope. And she would hand them back to me. She was like, you're not going anywhere yet. But she was, again, another strong, independent woman in charge of men. It taught me the way that I wanted to go and the way that I wanted to be. I helped everybody.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:13:42

I was the one that everybody came to. It was like, yep, you need something, I'll get it. I'll find out where to get it from. So I became the tool for everyone, I guess you could say. It was just like, whatever.

Captain Kim [: 00:13:57

They needed anybody and the permanent fixture there, which had to give you mixed emotions, because at one point, you see this female saying, hey, you have what it takes. You're resourceful, you're resilient, you're intelligent. I want you. However. You wanted to travel the world.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:14:16

Yes, I wanted to see the world. It was something that, I think, for me, I never thought I would ever be able to see the world. I thought I was going to live in Indiana, grow up in Indiana, have babies, and retire in Indiana. Then I have this huge opportunity. And I stayed at Camp Lejeune for four years. The first four years of my career, I was there.

Captain Kim [: 00:14:42

Okay, so you were able to see the world then after. Yeah, okay.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:14:47

Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:14:47

Okay.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:14:48

There was a lot of different things that happened, and I just decided, this is. I'm gonna be the bitch that I have to be to get where I want to go. And there was a lot of things involved in that.

Captain Kim [: 00:15:02

Yeah. Do you want to talk us through some of those things?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:15:07

So I became, like, I was very comfortable in my surroundings. I was the person that everybody came to. So I knew a lot of people hanging out in the barracks was something that I was comfortable. I felt safe. I was there with brothers, sisters. I didn't feel like I needed to protect myself, so I was very lax, I guess is the word. That changed very quickly. I was in the laundry room doing laundry.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:15:40

I got hit in the back of the head. I was beaten, raped. And they left me there to be found by a friend who was like, you didn't come back from doing your laundry? And I was scared to report it, didn't know what to do. Like, this is not something that I had ever dealt with.

Captain Kim [: 00:16:02

So unexpected, so unfamiliar. Oh, my gosh.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:16:08

I never knew anybody who had been raped. I never knew anybody who had been attacked. Nothing. That just didn't happen where I came from.

Captain Kim [: 00:16:17

And you felt like you were in a safe environment there?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:16:20

Yes. That was probably the hardest part to get over. In the marine corps, they teach you everyone. We're family. Like, we went through all of this stuff together. Even though the men went through boot camp, the women went through boot camp. We came together in school, I think was when I started working with mail marines, and it just. The betrayal of my brothers attacking me, I just didn't understand it.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:16:49

I didn't understand it at all. I didn't know what to do. My friend was like, you have to go to the hospital. I was in the hospital for a couple of days, and it was all male doctors. Like, back then, there weren't very many female nurses, so it was hard.

Captain Kim [: 00:17:10

That had to be so uncomfortable.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:17:12

Yes. Yeah. It was not. There was nothing comfortable about the entire situation. And I had no one to confide in my friend. She was like, well, you can't tell anybody because we were drinking and you don't know. And just everything that women get told is what we discussed. It was absolutely one of the lowest points in my life.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:17:42

I don't know how I survived it. Well, I do know how I survived it. I became cold. I did not get close to anyone. I became a marine, and that was it. I didn't want to have relationships with any of those people.

Captain Kim [: 00:17:58

Yeah. We numb ourselves.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:18:00

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:18:01

And put on this, like, body of armor so no one can hurt us again. Because, God, Tanya, that was a horrific act.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:18:09

Yes. I had broken ribs, a concussion. I was black and blue all over. I was. Couldn't hardly breathe. It was horrible to. To eat. It's still.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:18:22

I mean, it still makes my skin crawl. But I have gone through years and years of therapy to get to a point where I can even talk about.

Captain Kim [: 00:18:33

It, which I thank you for being so vulnerable on the podcast. Because unfortunately. And, oh, my goodness, this is not making me feel good either. But so many women go through this but are told, like you said, because maybe we had some drinks or maybe because it's going to split the unit up or whatever. Those reasons.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:19:00

And you actually.

Captain Kim [: 00:19:01

We believe them. So we stayed quiet and we stuffed that all in. So I am so proud of you for telling your story, because so many other women are going to be able to hear this and be like, yes, me too. And some are at the beginning of that journey. So I would love for you to talk through how you got through it and what made you open up again and share yourself with people again. Because we do, right? We just. We numb, we isolate, and that is it. We don't want to have anything to do with the world.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:19:37

So I probably. I'm going to say that it was only about 12 years ago that I started my healing journey.

Captain Kim [: 00:19:49

And can I ask what prompted that? Like, were you just dying inside? What prompted you to be like, I need to save myself.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:19:58

I can talk about the rape because I went through VA therapy and had to relive it over and over and over. It's called prolonged exposure therapy. And so you just tell the therapist over and over and over, the whole story. And the first time I talked to my therapist, I had never told anyone the whole story. I never told. I didn't even think. I thought I knew everything that happened, absolutely everything that happened. And I start telling her the story, and I'm like, wait, wait, no, that's not what happened.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:20:38

This is what happened. And it was 13 weeks that I went through that therapy three times a week. So I was going through this therapy, and I was sitting on a bridge here in Kansas City, and I was going to drive off the bridge. I was done. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't. I didn't have anyone to talk to. Didn't feel like I could dump and unload any of my story on anyone.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:21:15

This was probably maybe the third time that I tried to commit suicide. I was sitting on the bridge. I was going to drive off the bridge and my phone rang. It was my son asking when I was going to be home because he wanted to get his hair cut. That not being able to. To take him for haircuts, not being able to see him graduate, not being able to see my daughter get married, see him get married, all of that just flashed. And I was like, you made it through. What happened to you.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:22:02

There is absolutely no reason why you can't make it through this therapy and get this, pass this onto the other side to where you can be there for all of these things. And I drove home. I cried all the way home because I couldn't believe that that was the mind space that I was in. I couldn't believe it because if my phone would not have rang, I would not be here.

Captain Kim [: 00:22:31

Oh, yeah, you're absolutely right. It's almost like this, a miracle because we're in that mindset and there is nothing that can pull us out because we are just. The blinders are on and we are set. We know what we're going to do. Thank God that your son called you. Just that ring to take you out of it.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:22:54

Yes, my phone ringing and I never have my ringer on. So for me to have my ringer on and my phone to ring was very abnormal. I just leave me a message was the way I've always been. And for some reason I don't remember turning my ringer on in my phone rang and it was him. His little eight year old voice.

Captain Kim [: 00:23:20

Tanya, how do you look at all of that? Because I know you said you were brought up in this religious family and I don't think we talked about if you believed in God or miracles or all that. What did you think that moment was when the phone rang? You don't usually have your ringer on and now you do.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:23:41

I have struggled with religion my whole life. I do believe in God. I believe in a higher power. I don't necessarily believe in the same as my parents still do, but I believe that there was a higher power involved in my ringer being on and him calling me at that time. So I do believe that that was a miracle. That was my little miracle.

Captain Kim [: 00:24:13

Okay, so driving home, you were crying. What was going through your head?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:24:19

I have to figure this out. I'm dying inside. And it was going through my head. Is this therapy really helping me? Like, you know, this is four weeks in. I was doing therapy three times a week for four weeks. I felt far worse than I had ever felt ever. But I just knew that I had to. I had to do it.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:24:46

I had to be a better mom. I had to stop being so numb. I had to stop drinking. I had to stop doing all the things that were putting me in this bad mindset. It was like someone that just stopped smoking. Like I just stopped thinking about it for a little while and I did my mom things. And then when I felt like I was better, I went back to therapy and I just kind of had A different mindset in this has got to happen. I don't know that prolonged exposure therapy helped me all that much, but it did show me the different things that I didn't remember.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:25:35

And it was probably a good thing that some of those things I didn't remember, but it was definitely eye opening. It made it so that I could talk about it, I could tell people, I could tell other women veterans that were struggling. And I just knew that moment on the bridge, I knew that God had a purpose for the rest of my life. He knew that I needed to be here for my kids, I needed to be here for other veterans, and that this is what I was going to do. I just kind of rededicated my life to that Marine mentality of, go get it. I just get it done.

Captain Kim [: 00:26:18

And I hope every day you give yourself a hug for that, a pat on the back, because now you're doing things like you're a vso, a Veteran Service Officer. Do you have your psychology degree now?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:26:35

I am actually in my senior year.

Captain Kim [: 00:26:37

You're working towards it?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:26:39

Yes, I'm working through the Veteran Readiness Program, which I was a massage therapist for about 20 years, and I can't do it anymore. So I went to them and they set me up to finish out my bachelor's degree in psychology so that I could help other veterans. I belong to numerous groups that I mentor and volunteer to help other veterans. Battle Within. Here in Kansas City is one of my favorites. I mentor with them every chance that I get. I just went through a program at the Travis Mills foundation just for me, and now I want to volunteer to mentor there. It's up in Maine, and that is a beautiful.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:27:29

That's a beautiful state.

Captain Kim [: 00:27:30

That's a beautiful state. Yes, but. Well, yes, compared to Kansas.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:27:36

Right.

Captain Kim [: 00:27:38

But I. I love that you continue to help yourself and just dabble in that. Even though you got over the hump, you're still like, you know what? I still need to invest in me if I'm going to invest in other veterans as well. If you are anything like you were in the Marines on the administrative level, I can only imagine how lucky these veterans are to have you really being resourceful. And you just have that innate, almost motherly like, you want to take care of, you want to help, you want to make sure everyone feels like they're worthy because you at one time felt like you weren't. And the only reason I'm saying this is because I've gone through this, too, and I know that there's that other side where you can give too much and lose yourself again. So I love that you take care of yourself. I really do.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:28:33

Yes. When I mentor with a group and volunteer, my next stage is doing something for myself. So if I go mentor for a week, then I will take the kids to Colorado and go hiking for a couple of days. Or it's always, I give to others and then I give back to myself. That's the only way. Otherwise you get yourself just so burnt out. It's a journey. You have to take steps on the journey and you're always going to take steps back.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:29:04

And then you just got to keep trucking and keep going forward.

Captain Kim [: 00:29:08

And how did you learn that? Did you just know that or did you actually experience the burnout yourself where you just gave and gave and gave?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:29:16

I experienced the burnout myself. I was just determined to change things at the va. I was like, you know what? Things have not changed since I was in. Women are still getting attacked. Women are still getting harassed. They still don't want women in the Marine Corps. They still don't want women on ships as ambassadors to other countries.

Captain Kim [: 00:29:42

Like, we're still getting silence.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:29:44

Yes, we are still getting silence. That's a great way to put it. And I am going to change it. So I put my boots on and I started going through every person that I could find, and it was, no, no, no, no. I couldn't get anywhere. And so I just had to stop and focus on myself for a little bit and build my confidence back up. And now I've started differently. I have started with a community of people to help me along.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:30:23

I started with the Fleet Reserve association and I worked with them. I've been in November. I'm going to do some computer classes and I'm going to do some classes at their conference. They have a national conference in Springfield, I think it is this year. I'm going to do some classes about how to get onto your health benefits pages, how to utilize the messaging system, how to order your medications. So I'm going to do a class on that for them because it's a lot of older people that they just don't use all that. They don't use any of the technology that's out there. So I'm going to give them a class on that.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:31:09

And I'm going to speak at their convention about women's issues, women's issues that are still there, women's issues at the va, women's issues in the military, so that they can hopefully I can get them on board and we can get some things Changed.

Captain Kim [: 00:31:28

This is huge. Congratulations.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:31:31

Yeah, I just met this morning, actually. I went and met with my congressman's office and talked to them about issues at the VA here in Missouri. Different things that women's health care is such a huge obstacle through the va. Kansas City doesn't have a well woman clinic for veterans. It's just an office at the Kansas City va. So everything that we do well woman associated is community care and it can take months to get it approved from your primary care to the specialist to anything. So I went and sat down and talked to them about all the issues that I see as a veteran service officer. My next step is mayor of Kansas City.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:32:28

I want to sit down with him.

Captain Kim [: 00:32:30

I am so proud of you. I am so proud of you for educating because again, maybe the changes aren't happening because they just don't know. And so that is wonderful that you are giving them the opportunity to learn, to learn what we need as women veterans and make a change.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:32:50

Yes, they did tell me this morning that there are lots of changes coming to the VA's across the country. So they didn't clue me in. Of course I asked, but they didn't clue me in on anything. But they did say there's lots of changes coming. So fingers crossed that will mean, you know, better options.

Captain Kim [: 00:33:13

Yeah. And I love that because it's women like you and it's a bunch of other women, which I'm sure you've heard on this podcast, who are just adamant about making sure that we're taken care of because we are important. We did serve and we need to be have appropriate post care for that because a lot of things happen and with the right providers, because a lot of us don't feel comfortable with male providers and nothing against male providers, it's just what happened to us. So we want to feel like we're in a safe environment so that we can talk through the things that need to be taken care of. So thank you for being the trailblazer on your side in Missouri and helping.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:34:02

Yes. What I was born to do is what I feel like. That's, it's why I'm still here. My kids are almost grown. Hopefully the. Maybe they'll follow after me. Not in the military, but no, follow after me.

Captain Kim [: 00:34:16

Maybe with art. Maybe with art therapy.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:34:20

Yes, I would love.

Captain Kim [: 00:34:21

Let me ask you this, because you did talk about wanting to do art in the beginning. Beginning when you get your degree, do you feel like you'll incorporate art therapy into it? Really?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:34:32

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:34:33

Okay, tell me, tell me what you're.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:34:35

So for me, painting, doing clay, I love sculpting, I love painting. I do painting all the time, probably three times a week. It's great that I just go and anytime I'm at the store and I see canvases, I'll buy canvases. Buy another thing of paint and it'll just get me into going and painting something. I love to draw. So do you sell?

Captain Kim [: 00:35:03

Do you sell your stuff?

Tanya Lakins [: 00:35:05

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I don't sell.

Captain Kim [: 00:35:08

No, you don't sell your art. Okay.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:35:11

So I've had some paintings that I have given for auctions or different things like that so that people can donate money to organizations, nonprofits, things like that.

Captain Kim [: 00:35:22

Oh my gosh. Well, our next fundraiser that we have because I'm not sure if you know. Yes, this podcast, but we have a nonprofit called Revelation Retreat Project where we focus on specifically on military women's mental health and holistic healing. Because I have the nursing side and Dakota, the co founder, is a therapist. She's a readjustment counselor at the va. So we created this program at our retreats. We provide no cost retreats for these military women and we work this program through and it is amazing. But we do some fundraising too to allow them these retreats to be no cost.

Captain Kim [: 00:36:03

And I would love to expose people to your art as well because you never know. One day you may. Really you may. You never know where life takes you.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:36:13

The future Picasso.

Captain Kim [: 00:36:15

The future Tanya Picasso. I love it.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:36:21

Wow. But yeah, I'd love to give some work. I just started teaching myself photography. So I got a nice camera and I'm. I took some classes at the VA through the wellness program, I guess in Kansas City. The Wellness program. They have a photography class at the Kansas City va. So it was only four classes, but it was enough to get me excited about going out and taking pictures.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:36:49

I offered to take my son's senior pictures, but he said no. No.

Captain Kim [: 00:36:53

Oh, yes. That's crossing the line, mom. As a teenage boy. How embarrassing. Oh my goodness.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:37:01

Whatever.

Captain Kim [: 00:37:02

But I love how you were able to come full circle with everything. Like you loved art as a kid. You said you were wanting to go to college for it. You went into the military, got experience with that and now you're bringing everything full circle. And I feel, feel like just meeting you now, but meeting you a few times before, just talking through some things. You have this very personable, loving, just being about you. And so you are going to make an amazing psychologist.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:37:34

I hope so.

Captain Kim [: 00:37:36

You are. I could tell already. And you're doing amazing things. Out in our community and helping other women veterans. And you know what, Tanya? Just coming on today and being so vulnerable and telling that story, because I know it was not easy for you, but I also know that you understand this will reach other military women. So I am so proud of you. And so I want to thank you so much for being on Dog Tag Diaries and telling your story. And I love everything that you're doing.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:09

And let's stay in touch with.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:38:12

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Because I'm starting in Missouri. I'm starting small, but I'm gonna go to all the VA's. You're gonna hear my name.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:22

Oh, yeah, I know we will. I know we will.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:38:26

I have to make changes. Have to.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:28

Yep. And you are.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:38:29

I didn't make changes. I didn't do anything for the women that came after me by standing up when that happened to me. So now I'm standing up. I guess it's never too late.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:43

It's never too late. I love your thought process because again. Right. You could have taken your life. You could have not done anything with what happened to you and stayed silent. But you're here now and you are making a change. And I am so grateful that I got to meet you today. So thank you again for being on Dog Tag Diaries.

Tanya Lakins [: 00:39:01

Thank you. Thank you for what you do. Women need this. Women need a forum.

Captain Kim [: 00:39:07

Thank you. That's a wrap on today's episode of Dog Tag Diaries season six. Baby. We're gunning for 5,000 downloads and 26 Apple reviews, and I know we can get there with your help. Share these episodes Leave a review and let's show the world how powerful military women warrior voices range really are.