Same Uniform, Different Weight: Dakota Olson-Harris on Deploying Again as a Mother
Summary:
What does it feel like to put the uniform back on when your life at home has changed so much? In this episode of Dog Tag Diaries, Dakota Olsen-Harris returns to the show for an honest talk about getting ready for her third deployment, this time as a wife and mother of five. She shares how this season feels heavier in new ways, especially with a toddler at home and older kids she will be leaving for the first time for such a long stretch.
Dakota opens up about guilt, fear, missing milestones, and the deep love behind those emotions. She also shares the steps she is taking to help her children stay connected, why counseling helped her, and how support from family, friends, church, and community can make a real difference for military families.
In this episode, we cover:
- Dakota’s military path from enlisting in high school to becoming an officer
- Her first two deployments to Iraq and the UAE
- What it feels like to prepare for a third deployment to Germany
- The emotional weight of leaving as a mother of five
- Helping kids cope through FaceTime, games, and a deployment wall
- Her fear of being forgotten by her young daughter
- Creating keepsakes like a voice-recorded stuffed animal
- Missing birthdays, school events, and big family moments
- Reaching out for counseling and learning how to process guilt and fear
- Advice for military moms and families facing deployment
- The role spouses, pets, and support systems play during long separations
- Leading soldiers well while also caring about their families back home
Notable Quotes & Moments:
- “It hits you when you least expect it and when you do expect it.” [00:06:41]
- “I have this deep-seated fear of being forgotten.” [00:13:37]
- “I think there’s guilt and fear.” [00:20:18]
- “I need to be able to talk to someone else about what’s going on.” [00:22:37]
- “It’s okay to feel those heavy emotions because that’s truly a gift.” [00:23:51]
Timestamps:
- 00:02:45 - Dakota recaps her military journey and early service
- 00:04:21 - What deployment feels like now as a wife and mother of five
- 00:06:03 - The emotions that hit as deployment gets closer
- 00:08:07 - Why she switched to public affairs and chose to see opportunity in this mission
- 00:10:49 - Preparing the kids through games, FaceTime, and a deployment wall
- 00:13:37 - Fear of being forgotten and making her daughter a voice-recorded Build-A-Bear
- 00:16:44 - Missing milestones, birthdays, and everyday family moments
- 00:20:18 - Guilt, fear, and getting counseling support
- 00:23:35 - Dakota’s advice for military moms getting ready to deploy
- 00:29:48 - The weight carried by spouses and partners at home
- 00:33:40 - Leading soldiers with care and making sure families feel supported
Dakota Olsen-Harris joined the military while still in high school, driven by a desire to see the world and build a future for herself. Over the years, she has served as an enlisted soldier, completed ROTC, became a combat engineer, deployed to Iraq and the United Arab Emirates, and later moved into public affairs. She is now preparing for her third deployment, this time to Germany.
Along with her military service, Dakota is also a readjustment counselor at the Vet Center, a co-founder of the Reveille and Retreat Project, and a strong advocate for military women and families. In this season of life, she is serving while also carrying the very real emotions of being a present mother, wife, and leader. Her story is a reminder that strength and vulnerability can live side by side.
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Learn more about the Reveille and Retreat Project:
Instagram: @reveilleandretreatproject
Facebook: Reveille and Retreat Project
You aren’t alone.
If you’re thinking about hurting yourself or having thoughts of suicide, contact the Veteran crisis line: Dial 988 then press 1, chat online, or text 838255.
