Healing Beyond Uniforms: Didi Meindok’s Mission to Support Military Women -51

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Captain Kim [: 00:00:04

What happens when your military service is erased by paperwork, your trauma dismissed by bureaucracy, and healing feels out of reach? Didi, an eccentric tomboy turned Navy veteran, lawyer and medical scientist, shares her raw journey of trauma, identity and the quiet power of forgiveness. This is one story you won't forget. Welcome to Dog Tag Diaries, the podcast where military women share their stories and speak their truth. Women Veterans recognition day is June 12th, where we honor the legacy, courage and resilience of women who've served across every branch and battlefield. I'm Captain Kim, veteran and your host. This podcast was created so military women could share their truth without apology, shame or filters. In honor of this Women Veterans Recognition Day, we're launching an online auction to support Reveille and Retreat Projects, our nonprofit that provides no cost transformative retreats for military women. With suicide rates among military women on the rise, these retreats offer community camaraderie and healing.

Captain Kim [: 00:01:18

To support our mission, we are launching our auction June 12th and running it through June 30th. Bid, donate an item, or sponsor a veteran directly at reveilleandretreatproject.org that if you are Hearing this after June 30, you can still make a donation or reach out to us and provide an item for our next auction. You're not just listening to a podcast, you're joining a revolution. Let's begin. Today's guest brings a perspective that is deeply personal, apologetically honest, and rooted in both trauma and transformation. She served in the United States Navy during Operation Desert Storm, where her experience was shaped not just by the demands of service, but by the invisible battles that came afterward. Battles for validation, justice and healing. She's an attorney, a trained medical scientist, and a fierce advocate for truth even when it's uncomfortable.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:17

She describes herself as a lipstick wearing, boot stomping, motorcycle loving tomboy from New Orleans with a deep love for her country and a refusal to stay silent about the erasure of women's service. Please welcome to Dog Tag Diaries. Didi, welcome.

Didi Meindok [: 00:02:34

Hi. Well, that was really nice. That was a great intro. Thank you.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:40

Well, that's you. And now we get to hear more about you as a child.

Didi Meindok [: 00:02:46

Okay, sure. Ask away. Let's get going.

Captain Kim [: 00:02:50

So what were you like? What was little Didi like?

Didi Meindok [: 00:02:53

Oh, my gosh. So in New Orleans, went to Catholic school. And I think some of my most fond memories are working with the nuns. Right. So I was very outgoing young lady, but I was very opinionated and I asked so many questions. And with coming from sailors, I have sailors on both sides of my family. All the men were sailors. And that brought about some foul language, apparently when I was younger.

Didi Meindok [: 00:03:20

So things happened in my life. Like I had the nuns bet me that I couldn't stop cursing for. For Lent when I was about 4 or 5 years old. And I told them, well, I could do it, but you have to let me wear my kiss T-shirt for picture day. And they didn't think that I'd win, but I did. So, you know, if I get carrot out in front of me somewhere that I really love, you know, I'll prove everybody wrong. But actually, yeah, so just things like that. I was a little bit of a tomboy.

Didi Meindok [: 00:03:49

I got kicked out of Brownies. I don't even remember why. I just know that they wouldn't let me be a Brownie anymore. I think it's just because I say I've always had this non filter about what comes out of my mouth when I'm thinking it. And sometimes that's really good. And I've learned how to deal with that differently as I've gotten older. Understanding how important that can be. That was something that the military actually taught, which I really, really loved.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:18

And do you feel like being surrounded by those sailors is what formed you?

Didi Meindok [: 00:04:23

I do. You know, my father passed when I was seven and so then we moved all the way to Texas. And my whole life changed at that point. And I didn't realize that that was a trauma. When I was a kid, nobody sits down. Especially in 1978, they did not sit kids down and talk to you about anything. It was generation X. It was get on with it.

Didi Meindok [: 00:04:45

And so that's what we did. So I had no idea that my life was any different from anybody else's. And got to Texas and life was a little different.

Captain Kim [: 00:04:56

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your dad at such a young age. Were you a daddy's girl?

Didi Meindok [: 00:05:03

I was a daddy's girl. My dad traveled a lot. Okay, so my father was gone a lot. So when he came home, it was always just the focus. He and I, we rebuilt a houseboat together one summer. My mom and my sister were out doing other girly things. I was always with my dad. And my dad used to always have this revolver set that he had on this belt around his waist.

Didi Meindok [: 00:05:29

And he wore those on the ship as a chief engineer. He was on a merchant marine ship all in the South Pacific, in the Central America regions, Africa and stuff like that. So following suit, there I was with my cap guns. I just knew that it was going to form something in My life. Well, I joined the Navy. We were teaching college math to technical guys that were mechanics at the local Ford dealerships and things like that. So on a student work program, we were teaching them technical math and I was worried about how is it going to pay for college, all these different kinds of things. And a friend of mine said, hey, let's go join the military.

Didi Meindok [: 00:06:09

And I said, well, okay, let's go check it out. So we joined up for the Navy and we were going to go in under the buddy program, but she ended up becoming a Marine and I went to the Navy. I don't like that.

Captain Kim [: 00:06:23

Now do you feel like you stuck with the Navy because you had a long lineage of family members,

Didi Meindok [: 00:06:30

100%

Captain Kim [: 00:16:31

Your dad?

Didi Meindok [: 00:06:33

Yeah, I absolutely stuck with the Navy for a lot of reasons. The first thing was, and this is really a 17 year old admission, I didn't look good in green. Okay. I was really prissy by the time I became a teenager.

Captain Kim [: 00:06:47

I love your honesty.

Didi Meindok [: 00:06:49

Oh, my gosh, it was. I bought a Gucci bag to get ready to go to boot camp and made sure I had. And Clarence used to be the stuff you did for your face. Right. I had my Clarins bar and everything. I was ready to go. Had no clue really what I was doing. I had no idea.

Didi Meindok [: 00:07:07

I knew that I had to run, which was not my favorite thing to do. But I love to swim. I knew that I'd love ships. I knew that I was going to be able to learn how to speak different languages. I bought the big ticket. I'm not making fun of that in an ugly way. It's just all the recruiter stories that they're out there. Yeah, my recruiters, they knew exactly who they were talking to and they were ready to send me off to boot camp.

Didi Meindok [: 00:07:32

And I'm really glad about that. I'm really glad about that. Even past the promise and stuff, it was the best decisions in my entire life. It really formed me in ways that I didn't know. I was unformed. That was exciting to learn.

Captain Kim [: 00:07:45

Now, where did you go to boot camp?

Didi Meindok [: 00:07:47

I went to a boot camp in Orlando that time. And I feel like it's ancient, but in those years, women only went to Orlando for the Navy.

Captain Kim [: 00:07:55

Oh, that's a fact. I did not know.

Didi Meindok [: 00:07:59

Yeah, we all had to go to Orlando. There was no other boot camp for women. We weren't in San Diego and we weren't in Great Lakes yet. So it was all out of Orlando.

Captain Kim [: 00:08:09

And what year was this?

Didi Meindok [: 00:08:11

1989.

Captain Kim [: 00:08:13

Wow. Okay.

Didi Meindok [: 00:08:14

I know, it was the 1900s.

Captain Kim [: 00:08:18

So you went there and you had your basic there, and then. Is it AIT in the military? What's it called, your job training?

Didi Meindok [: 00:08:25

We call it a school in the Navy. Yeah. So you go to a school. And I went to Great Lakes, which is up north near Waukegan, Illinois. Right. And a little bit about an hour north of Chicago. And I got there in the middle of the winter, and in the middle of the winter, oh, my gosh. And I had already made all these other mistakes.

Didi Meindok [: 00:08:48

I mean, like, for instance, when I was in boot camp, the first question that they asked was, who likes fashion? Who likes clothes? And, well, I was like, oh, my God. I just stopped working at the Galleria at the Gap, and I call in my Gucci bag and everything I'm seeing online.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:05

Did you show them your Gucci bag?

Didi Meindok [: 00:09:08

Oh, they took my Gucci bag and happily shoved it across the floor as they kicked it. And then they sent it home to my mom. They turned me into the laundry petty officer because I loved fashion. I mean, all those nightmare stories. And so then I find myself all the way up in Chicago area, and they tell me, oh, don't forget to bring your. All your winter clothes. And so I did. I brought my Texas winter clothes.

Didi Meindok [: 00:09:34

I brought all of my sweatshirts and all of my zippy hoodies and all that kind of stuff. And that was nearly not enough. I mean, there was lots and lots and lots of snow, and I had not really been in a lot of snow outside of visiting people who lived in snow. But, you know, it didn't snow where I was from. And so that was. That was quite interesting. Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:09:58

And what was your job description?

Didi Meindok [: 00:10:00

Okay, so I went in as a crypto tech into the Navy, and I didn't get to get any security clearances because my father's country, where he was born, he left his country when he was 10 and during World War II and became a war orphan or a war refugee. And so his country was then occupied by the Soviet Union. So by the time I got into the military in 89, it was still occupied by the Soviet Union. And I had had contact with my relatives there in person within a year of joining the Navy. So they could not give me a security clearance. And so about a week before the end of boot camp, my company commanders came in. I mean, it was like out of a movie. It was like out of a movie.

Didi Meindok [: 00:10:48

I'm standing there, and my company commander says, hey, pick up that red phone. And I'm like, huh? It's this red phone, it has no dial on it, nothing. It looks like one of those old rotary dials with no rotary. And I'm like, hello. And they asked me some questions, and then they say, okay. That's it. And I'm like, okay. And I hung it back up.

Didi Meindok [: 00:11:09

And then my company commander comes over and picks it up and yeah, yeah, yeah. She turns around to me and she says, come on. We go in this other room, and she says, no security clearance. Now, you can be a quitter and quit, or you can pick one of these fine U.S. navy jobs. And there were all of these cards like they had in the recruiting office with the different ratings that are on your sleeve. And I had no idea what I was looking at. I have to make a decision, like, right now, apparently.

Didi Meindok [: 00:11:41

And I saw a propeller, and I said, what's that one? And she goes, oh, no, no, no, you don't want to do that. That's a machinist mate. And I said, what do they do? Oh, they work in the pit. They're engineers. I said, so they work for the chief engineer? And she's like, yeah. I said, that's the one I want. And she said, why? I said, because my dad was a chief engineer, so maybe it'll just run in my blood. And she said, I doubt it, but if that's what you.

Didi Meindok [: 00:12:11

And so that's how I became a machinist mate.

Captain Kim [: 00:12:13

Oh, my gosh. Okay, so you studied that?

Didi Meindok [: 00:12:17

Yeah, I got to go to MMA school in Great Lakes, Illinois. And we lived all the women on the base. There were two pieces of the base at the time. There was the corpsman for all hospital corpsmen. They all went up to Great Lakes that time, and they had one side of the campus where the Navy hospital was. Other side of the campus were all of the. Basically training for all of the engineering, all of the electronics, and all of those types of Navy ratings. So there we had one building, three floors.

Didi Meindok [: 00:12:49

That was the only building in the middle of the entire complex that had women in it. And then that was us. Three floors of us right there.

Captain Kim [: 00:12:56

So still all females.

Didi Meindok [: 00:12:58

All females for that one building? Yeah.

Captain Kim [: 00:13:02

Okay.

Didi Meindok [: 00:13:03

I was in a very mixed rating. So there were four of us out of that entire building that were in my program for a machinist mate. And so, yeah, we integrated with the guys, and we weren't the first ones to integrate there, but we integrated with the guys and we would go to school with them. And that's when I really realized what the good brothers that you work with in the military can do for you. I was assigned to C shift, which is midnight to morning, right? 7 or 8 o' clock in the morning. And nobody wanted that shift. Nobody wanted to go to school at midnight. And I found myself on that shift.

Didi Meindok [: 00:13:39

I don't know how, but basically everybody that was on that shift already had an engineering or a mechanical background, and I was the only gal. And so the first night, they go through all the rules and the regulations, and then they start talking about cams and rotors and shafts and all of this stuff. And I'm just sitting there, I'm pretty sure I had this stupid look on my face. And the instructor stops and he says, no, you do know if we can get through all of the curriculum in the first hour, then you guys don't have to stay here for the next six hours. You just go off and go back home, go to bed or whatever. All the guys were excited. And then at the end of that first night, he says. And he looks at me and he goes, so you got this? And I looked at him and I said, well, I do have one question.

Didi Meindok [: 00:14:22

And he's like, what? I said, well, what's a cam? Apparently this is like asking, you know, like, what's a pen? And I had no idea. And you saw, the whole classroom goes, oh, man. So they're fearing they have to spend the entire semester, all day, every day, which is not their plan. So what they did instead have duty, right? They have to stand watch at their barracks. So they got permission from their company commanders to let me come after class when it was let out, and they would teach me the curriculum one on one with them, whoever was standing watch, so that they could all go home. Right? Cause they knew what these wrenches and things were. I was like, okay, fine, we won't let you fail. And I ended up graduating second in my class.

Didi Meindok [: 00:15:08

And so it really, really helped.

Captain Kim [: 00:15:10

Congratulations.

Didi Meindok [: 00:15:12

Yeah, thanks. I studied hard in the middle of the night. But all of those wonderful people that I worked with, that. All of those guys, they took their time to teach me everything from the smallest pieces of an engine room to how everything fit together. And then once it clicked in my head, I mean, it was gold. It was gold. I mean.

Didi Meindok [: 00:15:34

Okay, now this makes sense to me. So that was pretty cool. I had some great people over at Great Lakes and met some wonderful human beings.

Captain Kim [: 00:15:41

See what happens when you have a supportive system?

Didi Meindok [: 00:15:44

Yes, absolutely. Even if you create it yourself, you know, And I didn't. But they created it for me. And that was just super, super duper cool. And it's those kinds of things that I choose to. To reflect on and remember. I mean, I know there are traumas and stuff, but what I realized of those years is that somehow with trauma and ptsd, my brain got stuck on stupid. And the only things I remembered were the bad times.

Didi Meindok [: 00:16:12

I never allowed myself to remember the fun and the good. And I was so ready to throw it all away out of anger and fear and frustration when I first got out that I was a real disservice to myself. And I'm not putting myself down because, you know, when you're in trauma, you're in trauma. But I really think, and I really try to tell people, now, look, I know you're struggling. Why don't we talk about some of your most fun times. Let's start stamping out some of the trauma with some of the good. And it doesn't happen overnight, but it certainly does work. It certainly does help.

Captain Kim [: 00:16:47

And I do agree with you on those. It's so interesting how our brain wants. It's in, like you said, trauma just sticks with those trauma, like, events. And so are you ready to talk about your traumas? And the reason I'm asking you that is because I know you have done so much work in recovery. So I kind of want the listeners to hear about what happened and how you, like, rebounded from that and worked your way through it, because that's important, because most of us have gone through that. And just like you said, if we're stuck, this would be perfect to hear how you were able to maneuver through that.

Didi Meindok [: 00:17:26

Well, I had some of the most excellent people, not just from my family and my friends, but I had it through the VA. I had it through the Texas Veterans Commission. I had it through the American Legion, the VFW, and I had help through the Disabled American Veterans. I mean, the community, the Houston community, they didn't necessarily know what to do with a woman that came back who was so young. Let's just put it into perspective. Houston's the fourth largest city in the United States. They had one doctor for all the females at the VA and one gynecologist, because they had no idea really what to do with us back then. Then they also didn't know exactly what to do with us.

Didi Meindok [: 00:18:08

If we came back and we said the word rape, everybody freaked. And in the NSL, we didn't call it sexual assault or anything back then. We called it rape. That was the word. And I found myself just really angry. The first time I went before a VA psychiatric Panel, it was all men and one woman. All nine of the men put me at a global functioning score of 90 or above and said I was fine. And the woman put me at about 10% because she could hear what I was saying.

Didi Meindok [: 00:18:40

And so there was this gender disconnect a little bit there. And then I wondered why that. And I started seeing somebody over at the vet center. She told me, well, you need to put in a claim, and I want you to talk to so and so about it. So they put my claim in. They put in my first claim for me. And then I had to do some follow up, some follow up with personal statements and things like that. And I sat down with a Texas Veterans Commission VSO.

Didi Meindok [: 00:19:07

He's passed now, but I love you, Wolf. His name was Wolf Bedenfield, and he was a Vietnam veteran. And he came to me and he said, look, lady, it's not that we don't like you. It's not that we don't want to help you. It's that when you start talking about what happened to you, we get livid and it triggers us because we can't fathom that we would treat women in the military this way. And so here's what I need you to do. I need to teach you how to do the rest of your claim. I need to teach you how to do your own claim and develop it.

Didi Meindok [: 00:19:37

But I can't read it. Okay, I can't read it. I will read it, but I can't do it here, right? And I said, okay, let's try that. And that's how I learned how to do my own claim. And from then, I started helping other women understand the process and also letting them know you're not being ignored. Some of these VSOs have been doing this for 20 years, and they've got daughters and granddaughters, and they're mad. They're mad. And they don't know really what to do with it.

Didi Meindok [: 00:20:05

And, like, that's when that whole community just really came together for me and put their arms around me and helped me get through it. And I ended up at the National Centers for PTSD, which was at Palo Alto VA center at the time, which is weirdly exactly where they filmed One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest with Jack Nichols. And they were proud of that. I was really nervous. I was like, holy crap, y' all just put me in this crazy house. I'm a really nut institution. And I was sitting there going, where's Jack? Oh, my. I spent a really good deal of time there with three Other women that were also in the program with me, and they were just starting to,

Didi Meindok [: 00:20:46

Learn more at the national center of PTSD, they were just starting to learn more about what was moral injury. Right. They had heard about it and talked about it with Vietnam veterans and as far as combat was concerned and things like that. But with military sexual trauma, I think we were like the fourth or fifth cohort group to have ever gone through that program. And, yeah, all of that education of learning about what's going on in your brain, what's really happening to you. Are you crazy? Are you nuts? Because you feel like it. You feel like it. I mean, one moment I'm happy, and then the next moment I'm curled up in a ball crying for three days.

Didi Meindok [: 00:21:25

I had no idea what was going on for me. And so, yeah, I decided when I was there to trust somebody. That was my first time to really say, okay, I'm going to extend trust to somebody behind the wall of the VA or the federal government. And I'm really glad that I did. It helped change so many things in my world. So I always advocate to reach out to your vets and nurses, even if, you know, a lot of people don't realize that you have the ability and it's your duty to yourself to. To talk to and interview your healthcare professional. They're interviewing you.

Didi Meindok [: 00:22:07

That's true. But there has to be a fit, and you're entitled to that fit. And it's a patient, right, to have a fit, to be able to speak to somebody that you can connect with. And otherwise you're just showing up every week looking somebody in the face and going, okay, thanks, and leaving strong advocacy there. And so, yeah, from that point on, when I realized all the things that I realized that my life wasn't over, I had gotten this diagnosis and I had been told over and over again in my 20s to go get my Social Security disability. And, you know, I wasn't going to be able to do this. And all the things I wasn't going to do, I wasn't going to be able to do. It was never going to go away.

Didi Meindok [: 00:22:50

I was going to have it for the rest of my life. I thought, oh, my Lord in heaven, but didn't have to do that. I do still have it. Everyone forgot to say, but you can learn to cope, you can learn to live with it. You can still have a good life. And so that was always really lovely.

Captain Kim [: 00:23:08

And it's true. Right. Like having that myself. You are absolutely right. And I think a lot of other women will relate to this that you do feel like you're crazy. You are like, wait a second, why is this happening to me? And like you said, I was in, back in 1995. So back then, a military sexual trauma, we were like, what? What is that?

Didi Meindok [: 00:23:34

Right? It was like

Captain Kim [: 00:23:35

Because you're told to like, just stay quiet and stay under the radar and let's get the job done. That's what you do. You push it down and you're like, yes, okay. And then sooner or later it does come out. It did, yes. And how did that show up for you?

Didi Meindok [: 00:23:52

One of the incidents actually happened when I was in boot camp. It was the one where there was some type of a chemical or a drug used. And so I woke up and I was not where I was supposed to be. And in boot camp, you know, that's in trouble. So I wasn't really exactly sure why I woke up undressed with my clothes all disheveled and stuff. I just knew I wasn't where I was supposed to be. So I put on my clothes. I put on and got dressed and I just went back to duty and hoped nobody noticed I was gone.

Didi Meindok [: 00:24:24

And it seemed like that that's exactly what happened. And the very couple days later, maybe the very next day, I passed out on the parade field right in the middle of everything. I don't know if my body had just taken its toll, but I knew that if I said anything I was going to get recycled. And that wasn't happening to me. So I shut my mouth and I moved on. And then when I got to my ship, we integrated a combat vessel, right? And that's part of the erasure part. But anyway, we integrated a ship that had always been and had and continued to be combatant vessel. It's an ammunitions carrier.

Didi Meindok [: 00:25:02

The Mount Hood AE11 was our predecessor and the Mount Hood AE11 was partially loaded and when it blew up, it blew up everything within a five mile radius, killed everyone on board instantly, and left a third 35 foot crater in the bottom of the ocean where it blew. And so we're the Mount Hood AE29. The rename of this vessel. And then that vessel went in and out of Vietnam, did all types of combatant things. So when we started integrating on board AES on the Pacific Fleet, our crew, we were the 30 women that integrated onto that ship. And they put the ship into dry dock, they built female birthing. And then we ended up in the Persian Gulf and during a war doing war stuff. And we weren't supposed to be in 91.

Didi Meindok [: 00:25:52

But nobody told us that. They just said, hey, this is where we're going. And while you're on the ship, that's where you go. Especially when you're E4 and below. You have no idea. And so we do our BD214s and show what we did. But we get out there and I gotta tell you, we had all of the normal aches and problems with women and men on a ship or in the military. But when we got into that war zone, when they told us, you are in a war zone, there was a veil that just went right across us.

Didi Meindok [: 00:26:24

Everybody started acting a little funky. I mean, everybody started talking about how the ship had blown up before and that we had more advanced weaponry and we're fully loaded and we're sailing through minefields and things like that, all of this stuff. So anxiety is way up here. And I'm not trying to give any, anybody a way out for what they did or they didn't do. But what I will tell you is that we were a whole bunch of 17. Well, I'm saying some of us were 17. I wasn't. But there were a couple of us on board who had signed in anywhere from 17 to 23, 24, 25 year olds.

Didi Meindok [: 00:26:59

Most of us are on that ship and we're all unable to sleep. We're doing flight deck, we're doing all types of general quarters and it's just going 247 for an unending amount of time, as far as we know. And now we know that we're truly at war and that we might actually die. And then we're also seeing, depending on where we were, we're seeing looks like fireworks, but we know aren't fireworks. And we're helping to, we're helping to transport people from the shore on helicopter to refuel the helicopter so they could get out to the hospital ships. And all of these things are happening. And I gotta tell you, the climate was different. The climate was different and people acted different.

Didi Meindok [: 00:27:42

Bad things happened, Some bad things happened. But like you said, you know, really wasn't the time for us to go put in our reports. We didn't have time for that. We had time to get the mission done and that's what we did. And so a lot of us, and men included, all right, there were men included in these horrific acts that should never have happened. And when we got back home, it was not but a couple of weeks where I think it just all imploded for me, it just imploded. And I had gone to Talk to somebody about it, because I was just feeling so weird. And they sent me over to Navy Oak Knoll Hospital, and I got in my little Beetle.

Didi Meindok [: 00:28:23

I had this little blue Beetle, totally in, pulling in the California vibe. And they started asking me questions, and they said, well, hold on a minute. Waited about an hour, and they brought me into this room with more brass than I had ever seen in my life and from different services because they were not all Navy. And they put me in a chair in front of the room, and they all started asking me questions about what happened on that ship when we were overseas. And so I told them everything that I knew about everybody that had ever told me that they had been harmed, et cetera, et cetera, because I thought I was helping, right? I thought I was helping the people on my ship, because why would these officers and stuff be asking me these questions if they weren't trying to help, right? And I was an E4, so I'm like, hey, I just told them. And apparently that really wasn't what they wanted to hear, or maybe. I don't know. But the next thing I know, I was put in handcuffs on my ship.

Didi Meindok [: 00:29:20

Yeah. They sent MPs to my ship, put me in handcuffs and put me in a white van and brought me to a hospital, the Presidio Army Hospital, and checked me in there for a couple of days. And that was quite an experience. I had no idea I was going to a mental ward for speaking your truth. Yeah. And then after that, they processed me out of the military, and they did give me an honorable discharge. And I'm really happy about that because I understand now, as a lawyer, that that never happened for some of our other military members.

Didi Meindok [: 00:29:53

So that's where. Knowing that these things happened to me and knowing how they happened and then as I got older, understanding why they happened the way that they did, even though I don't agree, it was not unbelievable for lots of people to come and tell me their horrible situations as well, where they had told other people what had happened to them, but people didn't believe them. And I believed them because I had lived it. And it was also extremely well documented in my records, because that's just my nature, right? To document everything. I guess that's why I turned out to be a lawyer. I don't know. So I started helping them better communicate past their anger with the people that could help them and with the Veterans Administration who could listen to what was going on with them and offer them their benefits and that type of assistance.

Didi Meindok [: 00:30:46

And I Decided I wanted to get away from all of that. I needed to switch gears. And so I became a medical scientist with a specialty in microbiology and was moving along perfect. And then my lab mates came to me one day and they said, boy, something's changed. And I said, well, I don't know what it is. And they said, well, every day about the same time, you get kind of. You kind of mean. And I was like, really? And I was like, super excited because at that point, it had been about nine or 10 years since I had had, like, some serious depression and things like that.

Didi Meindok [: 00:31:25

You know, I'd really worked super hard at recovery and I thought I was home free. But there was a chemical that someone was using in one of the laboratories. It was coming through the ventilation system and it must have had some of the same chemical components from when I had been harmed in boot camp.

Captain Kim [: 00:31:43

Oh, it triggered you?

Didi Meindok [: 00:31:45

Yeah. And I had no idea. I had no idea. And so that's when I decided, okay, well, I can't work in a lab anymore, but what I will do is I'm going to just go ahead and. I spent a summer at the VA Hospital in Houston. Eight in the morning till 5pm as the only female and the only non Vietnam veteran in the room. And I learned so much that summer about myself. I learned so much about my brothers that co ed immersion was exactly what I needed.

Didi Meindok [: 00:32:20

I was able to face fears of being in rooms with men. I was able to face some of those fears, and I was able to better get a grip over some of the other traumas that I had outside of sexual trauma. And that was some of the moral injury stuff. And by the end of those weeks with those gentlemen and those warriors that I spent there, they understood a whole lot more about us as females in the military. And I understood a whole lot more about combat warriors. And even though I technically, I did serve in combat, I'm not a boot on the ground combat veteran. And so I don't. I believe that there's a big difference there.

Didi Meindok [: 00:33:03

That's just my heart. And so a whole different world of respect there. And I'm not putting anyone else down. I'm just saying there's a whole different.

Captain Kim [: 00:33:12

We all have our own stories. Yeah, we all did our own jobs in the military.

Didi Meindok [: 00:33:16

And so that really helped. And at the end, I had asked them, I said, well, you know, guys, I got this letter that says I can go to law school. They're accepting me, but it's going to cost me a whole bunch of money. Do you guys think I would be good at it? Do you think I should do it? Because I'm going to probably have to pay these guys out of pocket. I don't think the VA is going to let me do it again. And they said, nope, you should do it because you're going to be fine. And I said, okay. So I did.

Didi Meindok [: 00:33:45

And then I tell you, like, the third week of law school, I'm getting on the elevator at my law school, and there's this man standing in the corner, and he looks familiar. Well, Dorothy, I should look familiar. I said, James. And he was my VOC rehab counselor. He had lost over 100 pounds and had previously broken his back. And when I knew him, he was in a wheelchair, but he had rehabilitated and was actually standing on his own. And he said, what are you doing here? I said, what are you doing here? We're talking in the middle of the elevator. And he says, well, I just graduate.

Didi Meindok [: 00:34:21

And I said, well, I just started. And he said, what happened? I thought we put you through and you're doing your medical science thing. So I told him what happened, and he went back and talked to all the folks over at the VA, and they checked everything out, and they said, well, you know, that's a failed VOC rehab, so we're going to pay for your law school, too. And I was like, you got to be kidding me. And the year that I graduated law School was 2010. 2010 was the year that the Veterans Administration opened up practice for lawyers to practice at the regional office level to help veterans with their claims. And that's where I went. That's how it all worked out.

Didi Meindok [: 00:35:01

At South Texas College of Law, I had a coach who was a Vietnam veteran. His name is Gerald Treece. He's passed on. Love you, coach. And he understood what I was going through. He understood where I was at in my healing process. And he also understood all the stress that I was going to deal with in law school. And he was kind of like general who just kept his little eye out.

Didi Meindok [: 00:35:26

And, yeah, he kicked me in the butt sometimes. He was like, seriously, Mind dog. I call those our elevator rides. But outside of that, you know, he helped me grow and open up a whole new world. And that's how I ended up practicing law for. For veterans.

Captain Kim [: 00:35:41

Oh, my gosh. I love how this all came full circle for you.

Didi Meindok [: 00:35:46

It was so weird, and I could never have planned all of this, and that's why I believe that there's a purpose and there's a duty here for me. And so a lot of people rag on me about, oh, you don't charge. And sometimes I do and then sometimes I don't. There's difference from somebody who's got three or four retirement income sources and wants to rightfully get their 100% or whatever it is, whatever percentage they deserve. And those guys, you know, if they want to pay me, then I've started letting them. But some of our younger veterans, they have a house full of kids and a spouse and they've been suffering and they're behind on their mortgage. And I personally, I can't see be taking anything from them because even if they get a huge back pay, most of it's going to save their homes to finally spend time with their children. And so depending on where they are in the process.

Didi Meindok [: 00:36:42

Yeah. And a lot of people are like, oh, well, you get what you pay for. You know, it's your worth and, and your brand and all that stuff means nothing to me. What means something to me is, are you a veteran? Did you serve? Are you suffering? How can I help you? And that's really all that matters is we can all help each other. We're going to all be better, all of us.

Captain Kim [: 00:37:02

Everything you just said. Didi, you are so.

Didi Meindok [: 00:37:05

Oh, you're so sweet. Remember, some angels fall.

Captain Kim [: 00:37:11

You could tell. Well, okay, we have one minute left. So I do have to ask you.

Didi Meindok [: 00:37:17

Oh my God. I know. Where did the time go?

Captain Kim [: 00:37:21

I know. So I do have to ask you, what advice would you give to military women that are in now or thinking about going in or have recently got out?

Didi Meindok [: 00:37:31

Advice I would give you is absolutely document everything. Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself and make sure that you're taking care of you self care is not selfishness. When you get out, start engaging with other sister veterans. If you're not into hanging out with females and you just want to hang out with all the guys, you could do that too. But keep it on the real. Keep it about no alcohol, no drugs, Try the retreats that are out there. Go out to Operation Red Wings, find out what's going on out there. Go to all of the different things that are being offered outside to help you.

Didi Meindok [: 00:38:08

You never know who you're going to meet, how you're going to connect. The network is the way to go for that.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:13

I absolutely love that you said that community is key.

Didi Meindok [: 00:38:18

It is. You can't do anything without it.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:21

No. And so that takes me too, because of our nonprofit. We have a nonprofit called Reveling Retreat Project which is provides no cost retreats to military women to provide that community. And we actually did one with Operation Red Wings and I believe you were there facilitating it. So I appreciate all your efforts. Not only are you a lawyer and a dog mom to two adorable dogs.

Didi Meindok [: 00:38:48

Thank you. I love my babies.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:50

Freya and Dash.

Didi Meindok [: 00:38:52

Yes.

Captain Kim [: 00:38:53

But you're here, like, advocating for the women and not just behind the desk. Like, you're actually out there at retreats advocating for these women and letting them know that they are not alone.

Didi Meindok [: 00:39:04

They're not alone. And yeah, there are people out there that are trying to go on Wikipedia and erase this and erase that. And then there's like possibly these other, bigger organizations of humans that they're just really trying to get under your skin. They're trying to distract you. They're trying to cause and root division in your heart. Don't let that happen. Stay true to yourself and just keep going forward. They are the official narrative folks.

Didi Meindok [: 00:39:32

They're going to put what they want out there. You know the truth, you know what you did, you know what you didn't do. And your DD214 and everything else is going to prove that.

Captain Kim [: 00:39:41

And so Didi, thank you so much for being on Dog Tag Diaries.

Didi Meindok [: 00:39:45

Thank you for having me.

Captain Kim [: 00:39:49

Thank you for joining us on this special Women Veterans Day episode of Dog Tag Diaries. Every story shared is a light in the dark and a reminder that we're stronger together. If something resonated with you today, share this episode talk about it. Start of Ripple and don't forget, the Reveille and Retreat Project online auction is live through June 30th. Every bid helps fund healing retreats for military women who need it most. You can explore this auction or make a direct donation to sponsor a military woman@reveilleandretreatproject.org until next time, stay strong, stay loud and keep telling your story.